Whaddaya MEAN You've Never Heard of Me?!?

My sleep schedule has been full of the craze--Crazeful, if you will...
I've always wanted to be in some kind of Overlook Hotel situation where I can sleep, wake, eat etc whenever I wanted with no thought of anyone else's schedule. I'd be curious to see how much sleep I'd actually want, and what the intervals would be. *sigh* No matter what I do, someone wants to make some kind of demand of my time. If only I could be totally snowed in.

( I'm cutting this pic due to hugeness )
This marvelous thing arrived in the mail. WOW! and wow again.
Big thanks to the sender, crowjoy. You are badass!

( Under this cut is a rather large pic of one of the anthologies I was in over the summer. )

My Obama Biden 2012 bumper sticker also arrived. I'm not posting a pic since I presume you've all seen a fucking bumper sticker before.

In case you forgot, or *gasp* didn't know to begin with, I'm covering a few shows this season for GeekBinge. Whatever you do, do NOT cheat yourself out of the awesome episode reviews I'm putting up for Boardwalk Empire on HBO, and Dexter on Showtime. Starting this week, I'm also covering American Horror Story. When the mid-season shows start, I'll also be doing episode reviews of Following--which is the new series with Kevin Bacon and *swooooooon* James Purefoy. That guy is stupid-hot, and even more swoonworthy is the fact that he's an engaging and versatile performer.

I'm not actually covering The Walking Dead this season. I presumed someone at ZZN would handle it, but that place is might as well have virtual tumbleweeds rolling past. I wish the dudes would come back and write some shit. After all...it's zombie season. It can't be all about Floridians eating each other's faces, after all.

This Friday is my 5-year Wedding anniversary.
Time flies when you're happily married, eh?

My Aunt Barb sent H and I some awesome belated wedding gifts. Although given the timing, I'm thinking of them as anniversary gifts. Anywhoo...we got a new Brita pitcher, which we really needed but didn't want to shell out for. We got some new mixing/storage bowls with lids and two of the awesomest (yes, it's a word) memory foam pillows I have ever seen. They kick the ass and I can't wait to go to bed tonight so I can use one.

So now the only thing I didn't get for the wedding that I really wanted was the bread machine. I'm wondering if H will get me one for Christmas, even though I've been pretty clear in saying "no more kitchen stuff" he still might get it.

You know what's funny? Aside from some movies and books and stuff, there's not really anything big or expensive that I need or want this holiday season. Make no mistake, I could still drop $500 bucks at amazon at the drop of a hat if I had it. But I don't really NEED anything so I don't know what to ask for when H asks what I want for my birthday or Christmas...well, except the bread maker. I grow weary of making my own bread, so I don't do it and have to settle for stupid store bought bread. Good bread is one of the great joys of life. But it takes a whole day just to make, and I have other things I need to do with my days.

I put the wedding photos into the album today. It looks awesome and tells the lovely story of me and H getting hitched. We literally jumped the broom, and it was groovy. Now there's a picture book to prove it all wasn't a lie.

I also got some character development underway for my NaNo novel. Of course, it's been so long since I've had a crush on someone I kinda forget what it's like. I need to track down my Hot Hot former Boss and--on second thought, maybe that's a bad idea.

My groovy New Year's Eve party begins soon. Right now, there's a cake cooling on the counter, along with eggrolls defrosting slightly before I bake them. There is hommus and lavash in the fridge, and after I post this I'm going to change into some fly pajamas.

I found a job this year, after almost three years of disability. I was pretty damn depressed at how long it took me to find a decent job, but eventually I did. It's a good job for the likes of me, and I seem to be doing pretty well at it. So yay for that!!

I got married this year, it was a big year for weddings in fact. My wedding was wonderful and beautiful, and more importantly, I picked exactly the right man. So yay for that as well.

Two of my books got picked up for publication. One of them is actually good and may 'break out' as they say. I don't know about all that, but I'll be happy if people I don't know in real life decide to buy a copy.

I lost 15 pounds this year, which is better than the 10 I usually gain. I'm feeling pretty good about myself in that way, even though I'm not yet in the shape I'd like to be. This year, more yoga and less fast food I think.

I ended my three year stint in intensive therapy which included medication, Group and individual sessions, and plenty of EMDR. I feel great about all I accomplished in therapy, it's made some really positive changes in my life and helped me be a better partner to H. So yay for that too!

Next year my books will actually come out, so I have something to feel good about there. Plus I have some more novel stuff in the works, possibly for a 2009/2010 release. A bunch of my short stories are coming out too, and some of those are pretty good.

My 20 year high school reunion will be this year. Not sure yet if I plan to attend. I may though, we'll see if H can get the time off work. Because it might be fun to go, now that I have a life.

This year was a great year, with much to feel good about.
Next year promises to be even better, methinks.

39,186 / 50,000 (78.4%)

If I dare say so, I'm kicking ass on the NaNoWriMo this year. I never, ever thought I would get this far, and there fore, I'm going to try my damnest to win again this year.

Woot Woot!

In other news, my wedding pics are posted online for my perusal. I'm not sure if I'm going to send H's mom the link or not. I pretty much feel that if she wanted to see us, she should have stayed. Then again, I don't want to be a bitch about the whole thing. Anyway, choice pics will be posted as soon as I get the CD with all the stuff on it. There are some great snaps of lots of people. and H looks striking and handsome.

I need to get pics taken for my book cover, one of those sassy author shots that makes me look both intelligent and cute. The second novel will not, I don't think, have my pic on it unless the first book does alarmingly well. The second novel has a pic of Clarence, my former cat on it. Neat, eh?

My fish & chips is here, so I'm off!

We are now back from Chicago and our wonderful honeymoon. We had a swell time with uterdic and smarbaby who went on our journey with us. We stayed in a lovely suite with a bathtub in the bedroom; it had two TV's and a mini fridge. It was sweet. There was much delicious and varied dining, a ton of walking around, and some staple attractions like Navy Pier and the Shedd Aquarium.

The aquarium was utterly amazing. As I mentioned in my voice post, there were many different kinds of sharks (though no Great Whites, much to the disappointment of one kid I saw), a green anaconda, a komodo dragon, lots of lizards, turtles, and an insane amount of fish of all kinds from everywhere in the world. There was a huge, live lungfish that has been around since the 1930's, dolphins, otters, and beluga whales with a recent calf. The whole thing was pretty damn incredible.

I have a new favorite drink: the mojito. I found it in a swell restaurant called TopoloBampo which my dear friend and Maid of Honor missgrete treated us to. We took the bus and a cab once each, and walked around a great deal. I'm afraid I don't have any pics, because H forgot to bring the camera.

Did I say "no" pics? Well, there was one, but it's not very flattering:

Me at the entrance to the aquarium, in the mouth of a Komodo Dragon.
Scary!

While I'm posting pics, let me also share this pic of a gift I got from kissdbyagnome:

Aren't they something? I just have to figure out a cool way to display them.

Bachelorette Party: Wicked Awesome. We played Mad Libs and Wii, we drank and smoked and ate funny brownies. My sister in law got more wasted than I did, and a splendid time was had by all. Amaretto is still delicious, even in coke. absinthofheart, klynnfrost, and missgrete were all in attendance. We drank to smarbaby in her absence, well, I did anyway. ;-]

Meeting H's Mom: Went very well. She's great and liked her present very much. She brought us yet another gift in addition to the five off our registry and the money she gave us.

Catering: appears to be under control. Fruit and veggie trays are underway.

Ceremony: has been moved inside. Even if it doesn't rain tomorrow the soil will be all damn and gross from it raining so much today and tonight.

Flowers: being taken care of by missgrete

Gifts and cards: keep pouring in. Thanks, everyone!!! Most recently, we received a gift from lickingtoad

Vows: not yet written

Everything else: seems to be fine.

Photo by Wendy Kubacki

Here is me with my new wand that was made for me by my good friend Steve. It's made of red oak and is sanded to a cool shine. He also sanded up some staffs (staves? I call them wands, not rods) for me and absinthofheart. We two are lucky gals.

Something has been bugging me lately. There's a person I've known forever who has started to strike me as so pretentious I can hardly stand it. It was bothering me to the point of profound annoyance and I couldn't figure out why it was bugging me too much. I began to wonder if perhaps I was the one who had become snobby and irritating. I'm still mulling it over and am open to any insights you fine folks might have. I'd like to think I'm very down to earth and easygoing, even though I'm prone to freaking out needlessly about things. But I don't think I'm pretentious. Although now that I think about it, my Mom says I am. Or said. I haven't talked to her in years so I don't know what she says now, but I bet it's all the same. Yeah, she always said I was snobby with my new clothes and fancy book learnin'. Okay, this is turning into a ramble.

I'm done with work until after the Big Thing. We are going to get the license on Monday, or apply for it or whatever. Then I have to buy enough soda for 60 people. I'm going to figure 2 for everyone plus an extra case. Some people will likely bring beer or wine. My dress is done being hemmed and I'll have my "final fitting" on Monday as well. H's mom went crazy buying gifts off our registry. How long is one supposed to leave the registry up for after the wedding? I'm sure it's considered *gasp* tacky to keep it up to "too long." And tacky is the worst possible word to describe someones wedding choices...if the knot has anything to say about it anyway.

Last night H and I watched The Number 23, which I'd heard was terrible. I don't know who's been telling me these things, but this movie was quite good. Carrey is wonderful in it, gritty and utterly believable. There are plenty of sex and murder scenes respectively. And Rhona Mitra appears briefly as a total bitch. Virgina Madsen is great as always, but pales in comparison to Jim Carrey slowly going insane for our amusement. So see this movie if you haven't, and be sure to let me know what you think.

Group is tonight, and I totally have to go because I will likely miss the next week or two. H's sister Honore is coming to stay on Friday, which is about three days earlier than I thought she was coming. I have to work both Friday and Saturday this week, as does H. So I'm not sure how entertaining we're going to be while we're not here. Luckily, she has a laptop and will almost certainly busy herself playing WoW. WoW players are pretty good house guests because they mainly keep to themselves. I think I'll rent us up some movies for the visit. I'll bet she hasn't seen Knocked Up, and nor have I. So that'll be a good one.

I ordered a full out gallon of Nature's Miracle in a vain attempt to rid my carpet of cat urine. There is this one spot by the litterbox that they just kept peeing on. I cleaned it up a few times, but then got sick of it and now it's kinda out of hand. So I'll be tackling that some time before I go back to work on Friday. Only two more days of work before I get two whole weeks off for the wedding. I think I'll be due for some serious post wedding let down after all this antici...pation.

wednes

"It is always party time"

'What is your personal life motto?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Also, what the hell is Facebook and why the hell should I care?
And it better be a better use of my time than freaking MySpace.

I have a bunch of stuff left to do for the wedding. I have to go shopping for the fruit and veg for the trays, put together the ladies attendant gifts (all the chicks who helped out are getting gifts), buy plates, napkins, soda and forks. I guess I should get cups too even though the soda will be in cans. Using 2-litre bottles just seems sort of tacky to me for some reason.

We received a beautiful gift in the mail from lostsatellite. It was off my registry. It's so cool that people are actually buying stuff off it. Big thanks to lostsatellite.

Work is still really hard. I came in today with a stack of like, 7 papers. EAch paper detailed some aspect of customer service work that I did incorrectly. Granted, that was over the course of a week but still. I assume that my level of mistakes is higher than average, but I don't really know. No one has told me I suck yet, but I feel like it's coming. Then again, I always feel like that and could stand to relax.

Open a fortune cookie!
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Do you like chinese food?	YesNoSometimes
Your fortune	You will enjoy the pleasures of life to the highest degree.
Is luck on your side?	(8) - As I see it, yes. - (8)
This cool quiz by Confused_Pete - Taken 149572 Times.

Easy Money from Home! Get your share!

I have the weekend off and I plan to spend it enjoying a combination of relaxing and fun.

By the way, I've decided I don't care for Bionic Woman. H really likes it though, so I'll probably watch it so we have another show to watch together. Maybe it will grow on me. Maybe Aaron Douglass will come back and have a big role. Battlestar Galactica will be ending soon, which was our last mutually enjoyable, non-cartoon show.

We received gifts yesterday and today from groovesinorbit and from Good Adam and Kimmie. They were swell gifts all the way around. One of them came in a giant (and I mean giant, like I could jump into it) draw string bag. It's large and cumbersome, but I really don't want to throw it away because it's so damn cool. I think I'm gonna keep it under the bed for next time I need a giant, draw string bag. Maybe I'll make some enormous runes the size of 33 1/3 records and keep them in there. Ha HA HA HA!

I passed my test at work. In fact, my score was quite good. So far the extra work hasn't been too bad. Next week I have to give a sales presentation about finding the customer's "pain" and making it better. I don't know why, but I sometimes feel I'm losing my urge to speak in front of crowds. I used to be really good at that sort of thing, but lately I tend to get nervous and forgetful when I have to speak in front of any group. Plus my new boss makes me nervous, I think she thinks I'm dumb or something. The good news is, I get a raise because I passed my test. So Yay for money and Yay for me.

When does LOST start again? I would've thought I'd be inundated with ads for it, but I've seen not a one. I want my Michael Emerson back, and I want Hurley right now! I'm sick of waiting.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow, nor do I want to call all the RSVP slackers when I get home.
But I'm going to do both.
Sunday is grocery shopping, followed by a housewarming party, followed by cartoons, followed by sleep.
Because I have to work early every Monday and Tuesday, it would seem.

In case I haven't mentioned it, I'm getting married very soon. Very, very soon.
Next week I have to hire the new caterers and probably give them a deposit of some kind. I have to pay the cake lady and take H to go get the license. I still have to put the gifts together, write notes to everyone who's helping, fold the favors (hopefully missgrete will want to help with that) and do a zillion more things I don't feel like listing here. My face is all broken out, presumably from wedding stress combined with work stress.

Speaking of work, I called in sick today because I am in fact, pretty sick. So that's one ass kicking I owe Nate for giving me whatever kind of queasy, scratchy crud this is.

Bad news, I was reading over the beginning of my serial killer novel. Turns out, it isn't very good. The early narration downright sucks in the light of day and sobriety. So I've got that I need to be working on too. If I can just figure out what needs to change, I can save the actual rewrite until after the wedding. No sense giving myself an extra thing to stress over. At the same time, I don't want to get behind.





I saw something today that totally bummed me out. Famed horror and etc. writer, Poppy Z Brite (docbrite) was posting about how some reviewer speculated unkindly about her motives for blogging. Apparently it, among other things, was making her rethink her choice to keep her blog, which I read regularly and enjoy very much. It leads me to wonder, just how fucking famous and successful do you have to be before the random judgments of virtual strangers stop bothering you? Myself, I'm looking quite forward to telling mean pundits and half assed reviewers to go fuck themselves if my books sells any copies at all. I'll almost surely have more fans than negative reviews, right? I hope so at least. Then again, I thought getting a publishing contract would be enough to validate me as a writer, and I still don't feel particularly validated. I guess it's just another one of those demons I'll have to battle through a combination of therapy, drugs, and EMDR. ;-]

but I don't feel like cooking them. When is that damn IHOP going to open on Carpenter? I want my IHOP.

H made the favors for the wedding. They are, as you may know, tiny Mad Lib books written by me. They are really something. And as if that weren't cool enough, each book will come with a "Thank you for sharing our special day" pen with our names and the date on it. They are pretty sweet. We didn't cheap out on the pens, they're nice ones. This week I have to go arrange for the catering, and next week we need to go apply for the marriage license.

I finished reading Howl's Moving Castle, which was really good. absinthofheart loaned it to me after we watched the movie together. I like Calcifer better in the book, which is not to say I dislike him in the movie. The book is much different and has a lot more girl power. I reccomend it whether you've seen the movie or not, though you should probably do both. ;-] Christian Bale as Howl is hella cool.

New cartoons tonight on FOX. It's way early for that, which is to say, they are on time this year. Usually we have to wait until November just to get a Halloween episode. And an hour of Family Guy? Yes, please! I'm making brownies (choco chip walnut) for the occasion. I may even throw in a spinach and feta pizza later just because that sounds tasty. I predict that the new cartoons will be awesome. I'm only sad that lickingtoad has to work and therefore can't be with us.

H and I played Wii for much of the afternoon. We unlocked another level and got the Elvis suit in the Rabbit game. That game is a riot. I also massacred H in bowling and tennis. I thought he had me both times, but I emerged victorious. The Wii also gets my highest reccomends as a fun thing for couples to do together. We always have a blast playing that stupid thing.

And finally, A League of Their Own is on. I love that movie.

When you are talking about an idea, is it a "capital" idea or "capitol"?
I really have no idea because I don't know the origin of the phrase.
But I bet one of you knows, and would love to tell me.

I tweaked my LJ layout into a similar but slightly cooler one. I put up Edvard Munch's Murderer again since I've been in the mood to look at it. It really is one of my all-time fave paintings.

Which is better, the new Wicker Man or the new Hitcher?
I'm inclined to think Hitcher will be better since I hate Nick Coppola and like Sean Bean.
I'm growing strangely tolerant of horror movie remakes and I'm not sure why.
I'd better watch out or spook_frolic will drop me from his flist.
I'm already not much of a horror drunk.

Off to work in a bit, where my work crush will be. He's swell.
I found out he's moving to another department so I will almost never see him. ;-[

Supposed to be meeting with the caterers this Sunday. I'll feel a lot better about the catering situation if I sit down with them and iron everything out. We haven't actually finalized the menu yet, so that'll be good to do. I just don't want to stress about anything else. I'm all broken out.

Also, it's cold outside. Jacket weather already!

"Doctor" Brady Barr is this new guy doing crocodiles, sharks, snakes and stuff on Nat'l Geographic channel. He's supposed to be a professional guy with lots of experience with the animals and such. I was watching him with H last night and have decided that he's the biggest crybaby wuss we've ever seen on such a show.

Myself, I've handled an 11 foot python alone. It was just fine. This guy screamed like a little girl trying to get a 13 foot python out of a hole in the ground. He screamed every time it struck at him--not hit him mind you, but just every time it moved to strike. And he had TWO people helping him. Still screaming. Then later, he was shrieking like a little girl while behind a guy who was subduing a small shark. This guy needs to stop running around in his little tan suit trying to look like Steve Irwin and screaming like a wuss everytime an animal gets anywhere near him. I mean, C'mon. Then later still he got bit by a tiny skink and shrieked like he was dying.


Wedding invites went out today. Thanks to smarbaby they looked wonderful. Let the dance of the RSVP commence!! My nerves are on edge with all this wedding stuff, and I'm totally broken out because of it. Ew. Working on the music list is going to be a huge, awful task. At least the ceremony is written and the shopping is almost done.

I'm reading the novel of Howl's Moving Castle right now. It's pretty good and has a lot more going on than the movie. Once I finish it, I can start on the lycanthrope novels I got from my publishing house. I need to spend more time reading and less time watching TV. Of course as I type this I'm watching a marathon of Treehouse of Horror eps on tape. My favorite.

Is there a place where soda is really, super cheap but is not evil like Wal*Mart?
I don't know where I want to buy our soda from for the wedding.

I'm totally starting to freak out about all the stuff that isn't done for the wedding. It's only five weeks away, and well, I'm not going to bore you with a list but a ton of shit isn't done. I feel like sobbing about it because most of it is out of my hands...it's frustrating me to the point of madness. If I didn't have drug issues I'd be getting myself some Xanax or Valium or any of that other shit housewives take to chill out. I always stress before a party, and this is the biggest and most important party of my life. I've been planning this thing for a year and it feels like nothing is done.

There's the unpleasant matter of the shower. For some reason I have to clean my house, bake, shop, make hors d'ouvres and deal with assorted madness and people all fucking weekend. I didn't even WANT a shower, and now the people who insisted on throwing one for me don't have the time or inclination to actually do anything for it. Ain't that a kick in the teeth? I'm sure it will be fine once people arrive and the games are underway, but right now I'm just a big bag of stress about it.

I really, really don't want to go to work today. But I can't call off since a) we're busy and b) I need the money. We have to pay for the cake soon, which is a dastardly $400. I still can't believe I'm paying that much for a damn cake. I was going to do the cakes myself until I saw some Bridezilla losing her damn mind trying to make enough cakes for a wedding. Everybody better tell me how much they love that cake or I'm going to be very sad.

Still haven't decided what I'm going to do about catering. My caterer, as I've mentioned, is an alcoholic who keeps relapsing (read: going on 3-day benders that require 3 more days of recovery and tapering off). If I fire her, she's going to be crushed. But dammit, it's my wedding and I shouldn't have to worry whether I'll have no food for my guests because some people can't control themselves. I know I'm the last person to talk about self control, but dammit, my issues don't spill out all over everyone I know or threaten to ruin anyone's wedding. I want to just call the Greek restaurant and have them cater. But that's my last resort plan if the caterer doesn't work out.

Haven't reserved any hotel rooms because I have no idea who is coming in from out of town, except H's family. RSVP's aren't due until the end of this month, so hopefully I'll know then. I suspect that most of my college buddies won't be coming, but I don't really know. Our budget is so tiny that I really need to know who all is coming, but I hear that most people don't bother to RSVP anyway. Do you assume that people who don't RSVP aren't coming? I imagine that's what I'll do. At least there'll be extra cake.

So maybe I am turning into a Bridezilla. I just want shit to go right, since it's costing us most of our savings just to put on this thing. I wish my MOH was closer, we'd be getting our drink on right about now.

Wow. I feel much better after getting all that out.

I've been feeling pretty depressed lately over work and some other random things. I went in for EMDR yesterday to find that yet another member of Group has died...badly. The last time a girl died, she had gotten drunk and froze to death outside. This time the woman OD'd in her car, they think on purpose, and nobody found her for several days. You cannot conceive of how awful and depressing that is to me. Well, maybe you can. But it sucks.

I'm not at all excited for my shower, I just hope people show up so I'm not sitting here alone like a complete tool. I'm making a pineapple cake, and supposedly one of the girls from Group is doing the cooking. We shall see. We are doing the toilet paper wedding gowns, so that'll be fun. And there will be prizes.

JoJo got into the garbage that H left untied. So he ate some taco bell and part of a blood pressure pill yesterday. I have a feeling cleaning up cat puke is in my future. He can barely keep cat food down, let alone a meximelt. Stupid cat.

I'm on my way to work, where my secret work crush will be. I think I have sales training today or tomorrow, I forget which. And I also think I get Monday off for the "holiday". I'll likely use the occasion to grocery shop so I don't have to go on Sunday. I wish my review would hurry up and happen so I can find out how badly they think I'm doing. Not knowing is far worse than just dealing with something bad, I think.

I've had a cocktail and the liquors...well, they drunkened me. But I'm going to answer these questions anyway:

Amy, AKA kissdbyagnome inquired:

whats been your fav. part of planing the wedding. And whats been your least fav.

Not as simple as they sound, these questions.

The most fun has DEFinately been doing all the shopping. I did most of the wedding shopping online, and even with shipping charges I saved a ton of money and/or bought some wonderful things. For example, I could have bought a unity candle for under $14, but it wouldn't have had herbs and beautiful pagan poetry on it. I could have bought a thousand dollar dress, but in addition to no dinner being served, I wouldn't have found the beautiful blue one I'm actually wearing. So yes, the shopping has been uber fun.


The least fun thing has been planning for a wedding that no one in my family will attend. I guess once I put it like that, it is a fairly simple answer, just a complex situation. Thing is, I feel very responsible for my family not being there, which is really quite silly to anyone who knows the totality of the situation.

Even Ann Landers says we, as people, need to be away from violence and unhealthy relationships. Somehow though, when these unhealthy behaviors are coming from family, they are easy to forgive, or at least tolerate. I know many people with worse family histories than I who still communicate with their parents or at least their siblings. Of course even if I was the forgiving types, my family would not attend my wedding because of H's ethnicity. So I guess in the end there's nothing I could do to make them come except change myself, my whole life, and find another man. I don't plan on doing any of that soon though...

More questions later...possibly tomorrow.
And keep 'em coming!!!

I got tired of growing my hair out "for the wedding" and decided to get about 3 inches lopped off the bottom. Rather a drastic change at this late date, but I'm just wearing a circlet so it will look fine regardless of my hair's length. It's not like a veil where hair becomes a huge issue. I think it looks good nice and short, and it's def more comfortable.

I had a day off today and didn't do much but sleep, go to Group, and get my hair cut. Now I'm watching Shark Week, which is my favorite week-long TV event of the year.

I have to start bringing my lunch to work. Problem is, I haven't done that ever in my adult life, and need ideas of what I should bring. Those of you who pack lunches, what do you pack? What if I only want to bring food that doesn't require refrigeration? We have a fridge, but I might not want to use it. What should I pack for lunch?

Did you hear they found a Coelecanth? Thanks to Kassy for the heads up on that. Woo Hoo, I'm seeing Kassy after work tomorrow, which will be swell.

We watched 300 last night. It was really good for a movie with such a thin plot. Lots of cool spectacle and some really fun villainy. It gets my reccomends, and we all know of my lingering distaste for action movies. Not as good as Gladiator, but different in enough ways to make it a really enjoyable watch. Those poor elephants!

I just killed a large supporting character in my serial killer novel. I don't do a lot of that in my writing. Oddly enough, it doesn't really come up. I'd rather keep people alive so that more terrible things can happen to them than to have them die in some stupid way. It was kind of a drug related death, and I wonder if I'm not trying to once again work out my personal demons through my characters.

No matter what happens, I don't seem to be able to get away from writing about myself in one way or another. I wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand, it feels like lazy writing because this book has been coming together so easily. OTOH, maybe writing about ourselves is how we find the truth inside the lie (I didn't say that, Stephen King did). Writing what you know is key, and I know myself better and better with each passing year.

28,899 / 50,000 (57.8%)

In other news, I'm spending way too much money on wedding stuff. I bought $17 worth of makeups today, which doesn't sound like much until you realize it's from e.l.f. where everything is a dollar. Speaking of which, they make surprisingly awesome cosmetics considering what they charge. I wish they had nail polish too!

Crimson Tide was on TV tonight. That's one of those movies I love despite the fact that it's in a genre that I almost never watch. Certainly, that's one of the signs of a good film, when it transcends genre and is just plain old great. Of course, One Flew over the Cukoo's Nest was also on today, but being in a good mood, I didn't want to get near it with a ten foot pole.

Tried to see Harry Potter again this weekend, but plan after plan just seemed to fizzle and die on me. No matter, it's not like it's leaving theatres in a day or two, I have plenty of time. And I managed to get some good writing, editing, and TV watching in instead.

Think women have come a long way in society? You won't when you read the sexist, sizist, materialistic to an outrageous extreme rantings over at True Bride Confessions. I've been trying to think of something to post there, but I don't have any of the bullshit worries that these women have. My FH isn't cheating, he treats me right, my IL's are awesome, and I don't care how fat myself or my bridesmaids are--I only have a MOH and she's cute as a bug. They post about cheating and wanting to cheat, secretly hating their husbands and all kinds of stuff. It's insane. Maybe I'll make up something funny to post.

While planning for the wedding, it becomes increasingly obvious how grateful I am that uterdic has agreed to participate. In case you didn't know, he's walking me down the aisle and basically standing in for my family, who will not be in attendance. The more I think of it, he is really the representation of the very idea of having friends instead of family. When I think of being walked down the aisle by a good friend whom I trust implicitly, I'm not sad for the lack of family, I'm glad for the love of good friends. How's THAT for sappy? It's taken me a long time to get to this place where I'm...I won't say I'm not pissed at my family, but I'm considerably less pissed simply because I'm learning how not to let it affect me so much.

After Group, I came home and outlined 40 chapters of my serial killer. If all goes according to plan, this novel will indeed come out to 80K words. That will make it my longest novel yet. I also think it will be my best one to date. There's a new chapter posted (locked) over at wednes_writes, which you should totally join if you haven't yet.

The new line of wedding dresses over at Zaftique has got me wishing I'd bought a white dress. People are going to think it's my second wedding because I'm not wearing anything remotely white. Then again, what care I for the thoughts of others? Yeah...They are awfully nice looking dresses though. If I had a job, I could just buy one.

I spent the better part of last night playing Wii and then rereading the first 27 chapters of my serial killer novel, just to get a handle on where I am with it. Turns out, it's pretty fucking good. Later on tonight I hope to add another chapter. I just have to figure out where it's all going.
As for the Wii, my Wii age is currently 49; I think I can do a bit better than that. My tennis timing is very off. But my bowling skillz rock the house.

EDIT: it is down to 38. Woot!

Saw a pic of my handfasting besom today. In case you don't know, it's the broom we're going to jump over at the end of the ceremony. Someone at etsy put it together for me:


Nice, eh?

Some of those people at The Knot are crazy. Tonight I got badmouthed because I'm not having my hair and nails done by a professional. Apparently I'm going to look "slovenly." Then they laughed at my plan to just use curling shampoo the day before and hope for the best. I don't see any reason to not look like myself. I'm pretty cute in my natural state, after all...

I'm almost done with the wedding shopping. I just have a few more gifts to buy for people who are helping out. I love having an excuse and a budget to buy people gifts. And they are getting some fly stuff! Lots of jewelery and pretty things.

Finally went back for EMDR this last week. I'm feeling quite a bit better than I have been, except now I have a toothache. I think I've just been grinding my teeth again, I hope I don't have to go to the dentist because I can't freakin' afford it. In non-toothy news, I'm having EMDR again in two weeks, hopefully it will continue to be helpful. It better be, it's really hard work.

I don't have much to say, but I did get my engagement pics back.
We wanted pics where we looked like ourselves doing things we would normally do.
These are a few of my faves:

the ring, and us This is one of my favorite shots, I really wanted this one. We'll do another like it with the wedding rings.

( A few more under here! )

H surprised me with a trip to the mall today. We picked out our wedding rings and put the deposit down on them. I got the one I wanted, all sparkly and diamondy with some blue sapphires. I won't post a pic because I posted one when I first picked it out. Check out my handfasting tag if you missed it and really want to see it now.
H got a titanium ring which looks good and was very reasonably priced. We also looked at Bulova watches for him, but he thinks they are a needless expense. I thought he might like a big-boy watch since he's a grown man and all. But H thinks spending more than say $100 on a watch is just silly. I admit, he has a point. Then H took me to Godiva for a few truffles, which are my favorite.

The engagement pics yesterday went well. We took a bunch of outside shots, and some of us in the apartment clowning around. It was pretty fun and only took about an hour. Next week or so, I'll have pics to post so's you can all see them.


In more infuriating news, here's a charming story about a teenage girl who was sexually assaulted in a park by three teenage boys. But wait, the girl is fat. So according to the barrister, she was not raped. She was "glad of the attention". I realize that women are often painted as "asking for it" based on many irrelevant factors, but this just kills me. I don't even know what else to say about it; it's so enraging to think anyone would make such an ugly assertion, especially to a victim of such an awful crime.

This is yet another wedding post more for my own records than anything. So feel free to disregard if you find this sort of thing boring.

A zillion wedding related things came in the mail today. My sixpence coin is here, as promised, in a collectible thingy for my wedding album. Our Official Mad Lib pens arrived with our names and date and stuff on them. They turned out really nice and cute and have no typos. Navy blue pens with silver writing on them...I just kind of wish I hadn't gone with Comic Book Sans. I grow weary of that font. Anyway, I got 100 of them for about $60 shipped, which I thought was pretty good. They'll look really cool with the little Mad Lib books we'll be making for favors.

My big gifts for the caterer arrived. She is getting a set of five candle holders that look like chinese takeout boxes. They are so damn cute! The box they came in was enormous.

Our unity candle is also here, it's a pagan one which I got from Magickal Omaha, which is my new favorite place to get witchy things.

Probably most fun of all is the big box of gifts for the fellas, ushers and stuff. I dont' want to give away the surprise but They Are SPEED BEETLE Yo-Yo's which frankly is one of my all time favorite Duncan model Yo-Yo's. H loves them too, so we thought that would be a good gift. Plus how fun is it to get a big box of Yo-Yo's in the mail?

Shopping has been tons of fun so far. I'm almost finished buying all the fun stuff though. Now all I have to do is find a new cake baker (I decided my old one was too expensive--$400 is just too much) and get with the caterers on the menu. Plus we didn't get to have our engagement pics taken because of the crappy weather and etc. Who knows when we'll be able to reschedule that, soon though. My plan to throw my happiness in people's faces must continue unabated. ;-]

My friend from Group isn't here to pick me up. I guess I'm not going.
Too bad too, because I also needed to go to the pharmacy.

Can anyone explain to me why sixpence coins are so damn expensive.
Aren't they only worth like, six pence?

I do realize that collectible coins can be worth a lot, but I don't see how it is that I can't find a single one to buy for less than $80. That seems like an enormous scam to me.








I was too sick to go ring shopping.
I am also too sick to smoke the reefer.
Dang, I'm sick.