Whaddaya MEAN You've Never Heard of Me?!?

Was planning on getting up at a reasonable hour and getting a bunch of work done. I'm still gonna get a bunch of work done--but mos def NOT because I got up at a reasonable hour. I'm having another goddamn kidney stone, and it has me hobbling around like a 90-year-old without a cane. Dang and Fie!
As such, I didn't get out of bed until about an hour ago, and will be heading back there soon replete with ibuprofen.
The lesson: I can have a few almonds on occasion--such as in a KIND bar. But buying that big bag of smokehouse almonds for me and H? Nope. That is right out.

Anyway, my lawyer client in Texas needs 4 new blogs by tomorrow. I have 2 things to write for AC, and a couple of Kinkly thinks I need to get done over the next week. It will help when it doesn't cause agony to sit in my desk chair.

Shark Week sucks now. I know I've been saying this every year for a while now, but it makes me so sad that it's become a fearfest of shark attacks. Looks like there are a few conservation shows this year. But the alternate 7-Days-of-Shark on NatGeo is still a damn sight better.

I'm off to drink more water and go back to bed. Owwie.

I am not sure I care for the idea of simultaneous submissions. I can see why they're a convenience to the writer, but now that I'm a big-city editor (Ha!) I'm finding the whole concept to be a pain in the ass. Not sure yet if this means I should ban them entirely (not that people would listen) or stay with the current policy which is Simultaneous Subs are strongly discouraged.

Literary types, do you think the submission numbers would go way down if I insisted on no simultaneous subs?
Is that something I should be insisting on considering that we don't pay pro rates yet?

Not sure how to proceed, but I do know that it's frustrating as hell to accept a story, plan out an issue, and then see the work get withdrawn--especially if I've already edited it.
I'm inclined not to accept any submission from an author who does this. But I'm not sure if that's reasonable, or a sign of petttiness on my part.
(I wasn't going to tell anyone this, but I can be damn petty at times--Ha!)

Little help?


In other news, tomorrow night is Ghost Shark.
If you're in the neighborhood and want to come by, it comes on at 9pm.
I also made chocolate chip bananna bread with pecans.

Picked up an extra shift at the day-job this week to cover for someone attending a funeral. What am I gonna say? No, I don't feel like it even though my plan was to stay home, relax and dick around on the computer? Possibly, but I didn't. I could use the scratch. I need to order new magnet bracelets since my good one broke (after over a decade) and my pretty ones aren't really strong enough. I got another pretty one that is stronger, and a super-dooper-uber-strong one that will top out at around 4000 gauss. Mmmmm...gauss. I realize that I am a great believer in a few medical things, like magnets and EMDR, that a lot of people assume are bunk.
Magnets, for example, are sold as being miracle cures. They aren't. They don't lower your blood pressure, stress level, or give you an enhanced state of being. But they have helped me through some awful pains. I first used them to take down the swelling in an abcessed molar. If you've never had the displeasure, it's like a throbbing kidney stone in your mouth. Magnets did the trick--I didn't even care how absurd they looked taped to my face. These days, they curb the carpal/cubital tunnel pain.

The "ENTER" key on my keyboard at work sticks terribly.
I find it irksome.

This weekend I'm hanging out with my new buddy, a little kid I'll refer to as G-man. G-man is the child of a chick I went to college with. His family is Mormon. He is a certified genius and a huge fan of all things horror. He came out to Ann Arbor a while back to record a short story for me--and was great. I think he's 9, though he might be 10. Anyway, he's coming over on Saturday and sleeping over in H's office. We're gonna talk horror, maybe record some more fiction, and watch whatever horror I have that is swear-free and hopefully won't scar the kid for life. I'm thinking of showing him Night of the Living Bread, maybe a few original Twilight Zone eps, and either the original Dracula or Frankenstein.

I'm also taking suggestions on stuff that is quality horror but can still be shown to a kid with religious parents. The original JAWS should be fine if he hasn't already seen it. Apparently, he loves megalodons.

Still chipping away at this med situation. Doubling my dosage tonight of the Celexa. Here's hoping it won't make me more tired than I already am. My appointment with my regular doc and psyche doc together is supposed to be next Thursday, but I just found out I have to work. I'm hoping I can get that figured out, since I can't get another refill until I see both docs together. I do feel a lot less tense, angry, and worried about stuff. But I'm tired and not getting very much work done. It's so hard finding a balance...

And finally, this Friday the 13th is the giant, enormo, FREE Kindle giveaway for A Stabbing for Sadie. ONE DAY ONLY, BITCHES! I don't have H's fly graphic with me at work, but please do tell everyone you've ever known. Graphic will be up by tomorrow. Honest.

No bites yet for long-term freelance work or steady, part-time writing gigs. Got offered a few projects, but nothing that will allow me to bid a fond Fuck You to my current day-job. Still, keeping up with my plan to apply to at least one new job every business day. Yay.

My yoga stuff finally showed up.
Will take it for a test toast tomorrow.

Speaking of test-toast, H and I received the Caprica Cylon Toaster, so we can make sammies with cylons on the front. I'm stoked. It was a gift from this couple that H knows thru work and I kind of know thru H. Full pictorial spread coming once we make our sammies.
Cylons like bacon, right?

Still working on some subs, some articles, and reading like a fiend on this here Kindle. I have to be careful of this whole "Oh, it's only $.99, or $2.99 or wait...$6.99 is a really good deal for blah blah blah and the next thing I know, H is demanding to know why I spent $60 on Amazon. Oops. It's similar to the "problem" I had with iTunes until I discovered streaming. Still...I'm getting very into this Jonathan Maberry cat. Turns out, he's not just a charming guy from The Facebook.

Thus endeth the 5-day-job-day work week, of which I am not a fan. Well, not quite yet, as I'm going to be trapped here until 5pm. Happily, it's slow as fuck. I can't really get any actual writing done at the day-job, but I can read the fuck out of some books.
I brought my Kindle with me so I can continue reading Lemony Snicket. I've only read the first 3 so far--and I'm rereading them all before I move forward. Snicket starts killing loveable characters off much earlier than Rowling did. I still don't know why they didn't make the rest of the series into movies. Damn, that first one was a ton of fun with spectacular art direction.

I want to sleep for an entire day. I suspect that this day will be tomorrow.

Also, we got new phones. I didn't want to go with Sprint again because their phones looked sucky. We got LGRumor Touch phones. Big surprise, they are sucky. The scrolling is terrible--especially if you're used to iPod scrolling--which is good. You can make your own ringtones, but only the stuff you buy can be made into alarms, message indicators, etc. So as much as I want my phone to yell Son of a Whooooooooore when I get a message, it won't. I can only set it as a ring, which means it does it multiple times--which is less funny. Oh well...

The phrase "Judeo-Christian Sharia" is thrilling me greatly. Not that people are doing it, but that people are calling it that. These damn Christians hate our freedom and want to destroy us. That's why they're blowing up our medical clinics and shaming our women.
Santorum, you disgust me.

Shark Night (2D) is going on my Ridiculist. (Take THAT, Anderson Cooper) I watched it for free, and knew that it would not be good. In fact, I presumed it would be slasher-quality, with decent CGI and a few laughs. It wasn't even that good. It was like, SyFy Saturday "good". If you're gonna have a guy lose an arm (bloodlessly, for some reason), he can't get up a few hours later and kill a hammerhead with his one good arm and a sharp stick. If you do, you can't THEN decide that he's suddenly near death and can't even sit up by himself. And the blonde who can't figure out how to stay dressed? Tired.
Cookie cutter sharks do not aggressively hunt in packs.
And if 3 blithering, illiterate, racist, drunken idiots have captured multiple large sharks alive and then moved them to a centralized location (something professionals often screw up), and then placed them into traps (where they can miraculously breathe while staying still in the water) where they can be released at will...actually, it doesn't matter. Just don't do it. It's stupid.
Shark Night essentially takes Hostel, Vacancy, Wrong Turn, and Lake Placid, adds some shark CGI, a few chicks in bikinis, and some dumbass rednecks and calls it a movie.
It isn't. Not really.

I am not watching Shark Week this year. There, I said it. I have been watching Shark Week for over 20 years. Seven of those years, I recorded it on VHS. Shark Week is Discovery channel's highest rated week. It was an awesome opportunity to educate people, especially kids, about the importance of sharks in the food chain, and the oceans ecosystem. Slowly, they started focusing more on "feeding" (read: attacks on prey animals). But now, it's all about attacks...on people. oooooh, Scary, Scary Sharks!! *cue Jaws theme* And that, my friends, is bullcrap. So I'm not watching.

Lunch with my Aunt Barb tomorrow. She's pretty awesome. And it's nice to be reminded that there are some NOT mentally ill people in my family. A lot of bad illnesses seem to run in my mom's side of the fam: bi-polar disorder, hearing loss, apnea, bad backs, high blood pressure, and diabetes. It's a wonder the family line has continued at all. ;-]

I have a new interview coming out later today. Details to follow presently.

Been watching Huge on abc family. I'm pretty surprised that I like it so much. They've cast a good bunch of kids and have written them as both realistic (as far as I can tell, I mean, I'm like 40) and compelling. I like they way they are dealing with everyone as a whole person, and not just a walking weight problem. Although, it appears that The Hoff's daughter is snogging with one of the counselors. Not cool. But I gotta ask, where was the FA movement when I was a kid, or a teenager, or even a young adult? I could have been not hating myself and my body for all that time. No fair. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't get way more into the whole HAES and FA politics. It would certainly complement my feminist roots.

And finally, I went out for a drink with a co-worker on Saturday after work. They carded me for an Amaretto Sour. Ha!

Photoshop gets my hopes up again with this story of a supposed giant Great White Shark, (to be confused with a White Pointer, because that's what they call them where Steve Irwin is from). Sad thing is, it's obviously manipulated, which makes me very sad.



I do so wish it was real. But it's pretty clear that it isn't. Too bad, because overfishing has killed off most of the bigger sharks, and they're getting pretty rare. *sigh*

I've been thinking a lot about Obama and health care and why this is getting so stupid. People will insist on raving about how National Health Care will hurt old people and make all kinds of cost-based decisions on who is valuable enough to receive care under the new plan. What baffles me about that is that no one seems to be saying that what they claim to fear is exactly what most middle class or poor people are dealing with right now. Insuring the uninsured seems like such a no-brainer. Unless you're one of those people who honestly believes taxes is the same as stealing (Mainly because you want to tell strangers how to live their lives. Myself, I'd like to tell the military they can't have another dime of my tax monies until they stop being such dicks to gay people, but I'm not allowed to do that.) and that all poor people are stupid, lazy, and undeserving of medical care, this is an easy issue.

So what's the problem? I think I know. I think people have a difficult time understanding Obama's plan or even his basic attitudes. Why? Because he speaks in paragraphs. As Americans, we are used to politicians translating everything they do into short, crisp slogans and declarations. "Shock and Awe" "Zero Tolerance" "No Child Left Behind" "Patriot Act" "Mission Accomplished" They are all nationalistic rallying cries that sheep can get behind without really thinking. Nevermind that "No Child Left Behind" was a scam to lower school funding and the "Patriot Act" implied that you were unAmerican for not wanting to piss on the Constitution because you're frightened.

To understand a paragraph, you have to read the whole thing. Then you probably have to think about it. Sadly, this is too much work for many, many people including those who enjoy discussing politics or perhaps blogging about them < / irony >. The average person's apathy and unwillingness to put for that effort is a real stymie to someone like Obama, who doesn't speak in rehearsed one-liners. People will insist on loving one-liners.

Interestingly, this need to define concepts in single sentences is something that has long bothered me about many Christians. You know how they recite single lines from their holy book as if one sentence represents the entirety of a concept? I hate that. You wouldn't do that with any other book...or maybe you would. Take Jaws for example. The great fish moved silently through the water. Okay, that does happen in Jaws. It's accurate and factual. But it is by far the whole story. What about the attacks? The Mayor's dicketry? Ellen Brody's treacherous affair with Matt Hooper? You wouldn't know any of that because you stopped listening after the first sentence. So you certainly should not claim you understand the novel Jaws because you agree with that one single sentence. So it is with holy books, and political concepts. "Do onto others" is a great concept, but not so much when the rest of the book says it's okay to allow your daughters to be raped by strangers or that you should kill a man for toiling on the sabbath.

I have my own issues with Obama. I'm still peeves about DOMA and DADT because they are both stupid and grounded in a faith I do not share--and am not required to share by any US law. But dammit, health care is important. Keeping the Earth habitable for humans is important. Jobs are important. So for fuck's sake people, just let the man work without shouting your FOX/Lou Dobbs inspired one-liners at him. You embarrass yourselves, and indeed, all of us.


While I'm here complaining, I think I'll mention that Shark Week used to be about the sharks. Thusfar this year, it's all been about the attacks. The point of Shark Week in the beginning was conservation and awareness of why sharks are important and awesome. Filling people's heads with stories about little boys getting killed and "innocent" honeymooners getting attacked does nothing more than incite fear and therefore hatred. (In America, we love to hate that which scares us. That's why there's so much unscary horror out there, but that is a rant for another day). If I'm sitting in my living room and a cheeseburger floats by, I may very well take a bite of it (okay, not really because that's creepy). It's the same for sharks. If you go in the ocean, you're making yourself equal with ocean animals. There is a food chain there, and the only reason we think we're at the top of it is because we were smart enough to invent gunpowder. For serious. Maybe I'd be better off pulling out my Air Jaws/Ultimate Guide VHS's from 2005-2007

And finally, from the pages of "Duh" Magazine: Psychologists finally decide you can't therapize someone out of being gay. Great, you also can't meditate yourself into a new eye color. Well played, psychology.

Happy Halloween kids!!

I wasn't going to dress up for anything this year, then I found out they are giving cash prizes at work for best costume. So I'm gonna zombie it up a bit, just for fun. They are also feeding us pizza, which is cool because I'm become disgruntled with work as of late. I hate having to arrange for the cab every morning, I hate how much of my life it takes up, and I hate how incredibly hot it is in the office where I am. I was fine with it being cold all summer, but hot all winter is gonna be difficult to bear.

We watched Shark Attack 3: Megalodon again. H had never seen it. It's so funny. We had just watched Jaws and found this a good follow up. Watching it on DVD is much better than on Sci Fi since it turns out, there's a bunch of swearing and drug use. Anyway, that movie is courtesy of film critic sweinberg. You can read his reviews over at Rotten Tomatoes in case you didn't know.

Since everyone cool is doing it, I'm gonna post about horror movies for Halloween. Here's my list of six great horror movies you've probably never seen:

Night of the Living Dead. I am amazed at how many people haven't seen this movie front to back. Sit down and watch it some time, and then remember that it was made in 1968. Not only is it the best American horror movie ever, but it inspired every zombie movie that followed it, and that's a LOT of movies. Romero sets the standard, and we're not mentioning Land of the Dead

The Last Broadcast. I love this movie, even as I concede that the ending could be seen as frankly preposterous. It's a little film with a lot of heart, and well worth sitting down and watching. Like High Tension, I love the wacky ending everyone else seemed to hate. Give it a go, if you can find a copy.

Open Water. This movie was billed as the "scariest shark movie since Jaws". While that is true in a manner of speaking, such a tagline ruins the suspense of the movie. It's not a "shark" movie as much as it a terrifying film about people adrift in the open ocean. Another small budget gem with 2 great performances and superb direction.

Series 7: The Contenders. Not a horror movie per se, but a truly scary premise well acted between a lot of jerky, shaky camera work. A gritty, contemporary Running Man-like game where anyone can be chosen and forced to play and be the last one alive. A cool little film, again, if you can find a copy.

The Descent. Horror fans tend to love this movie. Non horror fans would never watch it, which is too bad. Because once you get past the women's personalities, you've got a gory, scary, very satisfying foray into scary monsters that hide in the dark--and what the fuck is scarier than that?

Rope. Hitchcock's movies are usually in the drama section, rather than horror. But of course, some of them are really very scary. Of course Psycho is my favorite Hitch film, but Rope is a strong second. It's a portrait of two college friends, like Leopold and Loeb, who thrill kill their friend and toy with his loved ones at a party. It's a taut psychological thriller with awesome performances and intense camera work. Plus it was shot in all ten minute takes.

May your Halloween be filled with fun and pretend scares!

I got tired of growing my hair out "for the wedding" and decided to get about 3 inches lopped off the bottom. Rather a drastic change at this late date, but I'm just wearing a circlet so it will look fine regardless of my hair's length. It's not like a veil where hair becomes a huge issue. I think it looks good nice and short, and it's def more comfortable.

I had a day off today and didn't do much but sleep, go to Group, and get my hair cut. Now I'm watching Shark Week, which is my favorite week-long TV event of the year.

I have to start bringing my lunch to work. Problem is, I haven't done that ever in my adult life, and need ideas of what I should bring. Those of you who pack lunches, what do you pack? What if I only want to bring food that doesn't require refrigeration? We have a fridge, but I might not want to use it. What should I pack for lunch?

Did you hear they found a Coelecanth? Thanks to Kassy for the heads up on that. Woo Hoo, I'm seeing Kassy after work tomorrow, which will be swell.

We watched 300 last night. It was really good for a movie with such a thin plot. Lots of cool spectacle and some really fun villainy. It gets my reccomends, and we all know of my lingering distaste for action movies. Not as good as Gladiator, but different in enough ways to make it a really enjoyable watch. Those poor elephants!

This story is kinda like that, but with sharks.

It seems that hammerhead sharks can reproduce asexually

And like all really cool animal news, the baby shark was killed almost immediately after being born. That's how they know it had no male chromosomal input. Isn't that just so wild?

Scientists are freaked out by it, saying that this kind of reproduction is bad for the species as a whole. I don't know about that. Making babies without men can only be a good thing, no? ;-]

Okay mammals, we're the only ones left who aren't asexually reproducing.
Let's get a move on, shall we?

I used to have a fish tank, a 20 tall to be exact. In it were some poisonous frogs, a fire newt, and some snails. Oddly enough, the snails were far and away the most interesting things in the tank. the frogs just sat there, and the newt, as it turned out, was trying to avoid being eaten by the frogs. BTW, never trust anyone who works for PetCo to know anything about the animals they sell.

Anywhoo, I gave the frogs et al to the nephew of a friend. The snail, name of Gary (ha), is now bigger than a human fist. I miss him, all big and yellow tooling around the tank.
Yesterday a buddy of mine without an LJ came over with a book for me. He said he was getting rid of his 5 gallon tank and the plants within. Perfect, I think, for storing a snail or two. So I have it. It's full of plants and water being filtered so that in a week or two, I can intriduce a yellow snail, and maybe a brown one. It's gonna be great.

In other aquatic news, Jimmy Hall, who was supposed to host Shark Week this year, won't be. Apparently he died base jumping. He only taped half of his Shark Week segments, so who knows how that'll work out.
As if that weren't freaky enough, Ken Doudt who wrote a best selling book about his own shark attack 20 some years ago, has drowned while surfing. This confirms my theory that being one of those outdoorsy people is a recipe for death. I knew it!

Reading over my recent journal entries has convinced me that I'm depressed enough to warrant taking a look at the meds I'm on. I'm seeing the doc this week to make him give me something (or maybe take away something) so I can feel a bit peppier, more alert, and less fucking depressed. This particular dark cloud has been here for over 2 months, which is far too long.

With megalodon-sized thanks to groovesinorbit

Eighty percent of all deep sea monster myths were cleared up today with the discovery of this fucking thing in, where else, Tokyo--the home of fuckin' Godzilla.

This frilled shark is what they are also calling a "fossil shark" because it was thought to be extinct and so we have only seen it as a fossil. Genius, those scientists! It swims from side to side like any good fish, and is usually far too deep in the sea to come in contact with humans.

Fossil Shark (or frilled shark) I probably also live in loch ness!

Frilled Shark (or fossil shark) Hello, I am terrifying! I have a mouthful of razor sharp needle teeth.

Figures, of course, that a marina captured this animal and it immediately died.
Frowny, for sure, but just a matter of time before they catch another one.

I forgot to mention, I got comic book in the mail from paulcurtis signed by none other than Clive Barker. Don't you wish you were as cool as me? I know... Many thanks, Paul.

Trying to break 35K in the NaNoWriMo today. Having a guest makes it more difficult. I'd much rather cook, socialize and just hang out than buckle down and think about story. At the same time, the first half of the book (the part that's already written) is the sane part. Now it's time to write the Crazy Part. And there's nothing I do better than writing the crazy part. ;-]

Yahoo mail is extremely irritating right now. They don't want me to comment to LJ from there, and I'm having all these security issues with it, despite checking my setting twice to make sure they're right. Also, I started marking my spam and spam instead of deleting it. I thought that might give me less; instead it has more than doubled. Fie!

I picked a thing for the honeymoon. Okay, I can't really afford it, but wouldn't that be sweet? They have shark tours where you can stay on the boat and they draw the sharks to the surface, or they'll take you out to where they're feeding and Air Jawsing and stuff. There's even a tour where you can meet Rodney Fox. I know!

IMO These have been pretty accurate for a meme. So I did mine, and was not disappointed:

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I woke up this morning to find this news printed by H, sitting on my desk And I was like Hey, is this for real, or is it a gag? And he assures me that it was for real.

The first time I saw Steve Irwin on TV, he jumped into the water from a tiny boat to remove this croc from the water. He finally got it onto this muddy bank, and Terri jumped on the back of the croc (he was on the front) and they didn't have anything to cover it's eyes with. So he told her to tear his shirt off. It was like croc-porn or something. I was embrassed to find it as arousing as I did, frankly. But I never missed an ep after that!

When H and I were really short on cash (because of me, why else) he didn't have much to spend on my birthday gift; so he got me this (the one with the snakes on it) because he knew how much I loved Steve Irwin. And even though this is shouldn't logically be a terrible, horrible shock, it actually is.

A sting ray? A Sting Ray?!?.
This guy has handled the ten deadliest snakes in the world. He swam with sharks, wrestled crocs, and has braved terrains I didn't even like looking at pictures of. And he starred in one of the worst non-horror movies I have ever seen. I can't beleive a stupid little barb is what ended his life. And he wasn't even ten years older than me.

I am pretty sad, even though my doll probably just quadrupled in value.

Steve Irwin probably taught me more about animals than Jacques Cousteau and Jack Hanna put together. Plus, he was nice to look at and really, really brave. I suppose one could say that he didn't respect the danger enough, or the animals enough. If he didn't have tiny kids, I'd say it's cool that he died doing what he loves best, and all is well with the universe.

Since he did, I'll just say "dang" and turn on some Animal Planet.

All internet humor aside, I am really bummed.
Luckily, I have plenty of Croc Hunter Croc Files on tape.

Edit: HA! I just looked to see if anyone else posted about this.
It seems that EVERYONE posted about it.
You people and your opinions...sheesh! (some of you guys are mean)

As you may know, I had a disappointing rejection earlier this week. It left me pretty bummed, even though they did ask me to submit when I had something else. So it's not all bad. I also found out I can't even get an interview to work at the Michigan Theatre. Frown.

Last night I decided to query another publisher via Email, in addition to the one that should be going out today (if my mailing guy is able to do it, anyway). When checking my Email this morning, I saw that I already had a response. Dammit! I think, knowing that any response this soon is not good news. I second guess the very idea that I could sell a book to a publisher, nevermind surviving reviews and finding an audience. How could they reject me that soon? Why wouldn't they at least LOOK at it? My query letter is pretty good now, and my first three chapters are killer and grabby. Woe is I, whatever shall I do?!? etc.

Finally, I find my figurative testes and open the damn thing, which reads:

Dear, wednes,

Thank you for your initial submission to [name withheld] Publishing, LLC.
We are sending this email to confirm that we have received your
synopsis and sample chapters and are able to open them without any problems.

You may expect to hear back from us within the next four weeks as to
whether or not we would like to see your full manuscript. If you do not
hear from us after four weeks have passed, please feel free to contact us for an update.

Signed,

A. Publisher.

So I guess, once again, I just need to chill the hell out.
Maybe I'll go for a nice, relaxing swim.

Did I already mention that I had to quit the NaNoWriYear?
Fuckers and thier mid-year changes!

I treated myself to some used DVD's today. I almost never do this, but I bought two things I'd never seen because the buzz was so damn good. Specifically, I got Wolf Creek which I thought was about Sawney Beane. Actually, it's about Ivan Milat. I had actually been confusing it with 2003's Wrong Turn in my mind. But this one will be much better, I presume. Although Wrong Turn was not half bad, and Jeremy Sisto is quite nice to look at.
Next up, I finally scored a used copy of Raging Sharks which I've been wanting to own/see since I first heard about it courtesy of sweinberg and his kick ass horror articles. I predict that I will find it delightfully horrible (maybe even as bad as Ultimo Squalo although James Franciscus and Vic Morrow far outstrip anything we might get from a Corbin Bersen performance). Suffice to say, I'm damn excited.
I have to go to bed in a bit since H insists on seeing X Men 3 tomorrow at 10:30am. I wanted to go on Tuesday, because I hate crowds and how people always talk during the film. I'm all for cheering, yells of terror or excitement, laughing etc, but conversations about your kid, your mom, or another version/segment of the film really need to wait until lights up. He wants to go tomorrow since he got the day off so he could sleep before the wedded bliss of uterdic and smarbaby commences on Sunday. Anyway, Kelsey Grammer rules, and so shall the X Men.

I was about to go out this evening when I found this note taped to my door:

It certainly would be a kindness if you allowed your little cat at least some time by an open space--somewhat opened window or doorwall. Animals need some access to Life Forces of the outdoors. We can go in and out but your pet does not. Sincerely, Your Neighbor

I have to tell you, I found that extremely presumptuous, rude, condescending, and creepy. First of all, my doorwall is open for several hours a night, every night, even in the rain. The only time it is not open is when it is over 70 degrees at midnight, which I think has happened once so far this spring. Besides, I think I can safely say that anyone who doesn't think I take my cats' well being seriously doesn't know shit from shinola. I can only assume that they think the door is never open because they are Day Walkers and haven't seen it open. Anyway, I was pretty mad, so I wrote a note and taped it up by the mailboxes:

Dear Anonymous Note Leaver,
Thank you for your interest in my cats. I am always pleased to know that there are other cat lovers around. However, I am uncomfortable and confused to learn that a stranger would be watching us or making strange and incorrect assumptions re: the care of my animals.
If you continue to have concerns, why not stop by and introduce yourself rather than creeping me out with an anonymous note? Thank you. Sincerely, Wednes (phone number attached)

I hope my reply was not too fucked up. H hates it when I "make a scene" but I am far too angry to do nothing.
I mean seriously, the nerve!!

Peter Benchley died through no fault of sharks.

In all seriousness, I don't know how to feel about Peter Benchley. Of course Jaws, both the book and the movie, scared the crap out of me as a kid. It's still pretty scary when you watch it today even knowing that sharks would never do what "Bruce" did. Of course it looks like a very fake shark NOW; but I'm telling you it was scary in it's day.
Please, after I read Jaws (I was maybe...ten or eleven) I was afraid of all water...swimming pools, freshwater lakes, bathtubs, washing machines...forget about it. Terror. Abject terror of sharks...of being eaten alive...of not being able to see what might be lurking around unhidden. Damn...it's scary.

So scary in fact that it led to rampant sportfishing of sharks and a near dessimation from which they are only now starting to bounce back from. Some people assert that the shark population was never in danger and/or that the only good shark is a dead shark. Honestly, netting around beaches kills more sharks than fishing does. There are very effective ways to keep from being attakced by a shark, such as staying on land. When things you didn't invite come barging into your living room, you're either gonna chase them away or kill them. So we can't really blame sharks for being interested in us. Plus, they're awfully nice to look at.

Benchley did spend the remainder of his life working with people like Mark Marks and Ron & Valerie Taylor (who did principle shark photography for Jaws) working on shark conservation and education. There has to be something to be said for that.

Thanks for the scares, Mr Benchley.
May I terrifying half as many people as you, Good Sir.

Never seen the Jaws tour at Universal? Watch a tiny video of it here!

Oh man...I'm sitting here watching this Nigel Marvin thing about sea monsters. It's really well done and I was totally sucked into it. However, they just showed a megalodon and they had it look just like a Great White. Sorry to say that the lastest science suggests that the megalodon is actually closer related to the Tiger, or perhaps even the Bull shark. I hope it's not the bull, those were the most aggressive. Although I suppose the chances of my running into one are scarce at best.

I went ahead and signed up at NaNoWriYe again. Hopefully I will fare better this year than last. I was pretty pumped last year after winning NaNoWriMo my first time out, so I wanted to keep going. But there was a bunch of stupid admin drama and then a bunch of shoddy-ass moderation and community organization. It was kind of a mess. Plus I was writing about Clarence for awhile and that didn't really gt off the ground because of all that happened.

K and N were over on Saturday. We finally watched Kinsey, which was excellent. Funny, poignant, and kind of sad. Lots of great performances and did I mention that it was funny? Well, sex is funny and movies are often funny, so I guess that all stands to reason. Chris O'Donell called his wife in the movie a "prick nibbler". Can you imagine? It was hilarious.

I bought H this Akira Special Edition thing from ebay. It looked fine to me, but then I found out that later the auction was cancelled and the seller banned. The worse part? I did the "buy it now" option, so I've already paid for and recieved it. I'm fairly sure I was swindled, because it didn't come in a tin like it was supposed to. It was shrink wrapped and I didn't want to open it because it was a gift. I suspect though, that it is a copy or something.
Actually, I thought it was okay because of the shrink-wrap; which is silly of me since I already know from my BBuster days that any idiot can shrink-wrap anything if s/he has access to the machine. I don't even have the email anymore (I deleted it when the item arrived, shinkwrapped).
So I guess I'm just boned. I thought I'd just give H the thing early and tell him what happened. It's a drag though, I'm working my ass off to make him a bountiful, gifty, Xmas because he so deserves it. I still have not secured purchase of GTA for PSP and Resident Evil 4 for PS2. So I'm kinda bummed about that, too. I hope they are not too hard to find, otherwise he'll get a gift certificate, and who knows what he'll buy with it. Maybe something without any zombies in it. *gasp*

Oh man...they just put a crittercam on the megalodon. Amazing!!!

Aside from some minor household cleaning, and functioning on very little sleep, I didn't do much on Sunday except watch delightful things and have a cheesburger.

Happily, Lifeboat was on at noon. I had never seen this movie all the way through, so I watched. I'm sure most of you know this, but WOW!! Hitchcock rarely ceases to amaze me. Solid characters, horrific circumstances, and still fitting in his cameo even though they were all on a lifeboat. If you've never seen it, do add it to your netfix cue.

Then, it was time to see Corpse Bride. Some people had said they couldn't understand the lyrics to the songs, but I did not have this experience. It was a fun movie, cool to look at. For once, Helena Bonham Carter (Burton) was not horribly miscast. Great voicework and incredible stop motion animation. Look for the "Harryhousen" organ (no, the one that's like a piano, you pervs!). Many delightful characters, including a worm who talks like Peter Lorre. Damn, I loves me some Peter Lorre.

Took a tiny nap and got up to record Sunday Night FOX, not initially realizing that it would be the last new Simpsons ep until Nov 5th when the new Treehouse ep airs. Not wanting to spoil myself, I haven't looked to see what they're parodying this year. Hopefuly, I can have it be a surprise.

Sadly though, I'm tapped out financially and will have to ride the bus to all my appointments this week and next. Let's hope it doesn't rain on me.

And finally, in Shark related news, it seems that The Monterey Bay Acquarium is having trouble catching another Great White Shark. --the hell? Am I the only one who remembers they had to let the last one go because it was killing other sharks and growing too large for them to handle? Are they hoping to find a Great White Shark who doesn't grow or kill prey? This does not seem like a reasonable goal. I know there've been a lot of shark attacks this summer, but I don't see how capturing a live shark is going to quell that. And they've already killed sharks trying to assimilate them to captivity. So hear this Monterey Acquarium: you did it, you kept a shark. We were all very impressed. Now, stop it. If you're looking for something to do, why don't you go help out the New Orleans Zoo?

So I'm watching some show about a Robot Shark. It's actually pretty cool. It's so fooling to the other animnals that it has a real remora swimming under it. Adorable!

Robot Shark swims around to investigate and record all these different shark species...you know...incognito. It can do that since it's fairly ambiguous looking, so far as sharks go. It was really amazing to watch. Then Robot Shark went somewhere else and got totally chomped on by these crocodiles. I don't know where they were because I was listening to itunes and we don't have the subtitles anymore on the TV.

Anyway, it was kind of sad to watch poor Robot Shark get chomped.

The scientist guys made another one though. I think he's called Robot Shark 2.
I bet it won't be as good as the first one; they almost never are.








Note: this is not to be confused with Troy, the Shark Submarine that Fabien Cousteau has been tooling around in as of late. That one is definately supposed to be a Great White (or a blue pointer for you's in the UK. Do you's still call them that?)

You ever have those kind of period cramps where it just feels like you're being kicked in the stomach every few minutes until you just wish Flanders was dead? Me too. My back is aching and I'm exhausted despite getting plenty of sleep.

Got my old Casio keyboard returned to me after many moons away. I still can't really play piano, but I'm pretty good with scary background music. For some reason, I can't find my purple "wah" pedal that I bought to go with my theremin. So if whomever I loaned it to would be kind enough to return it to me, that would be nice.

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon was on again last night. I watched it while playing computer solitaire and it was delightful once again. That's the Sci-fi channel movie where they tak stock footage of sharks and superimpose the actors being chomped over them. Plus they poorly copy such films as Jaws, Alien, and Jaws 2. Ha HA! Later, some "bad" guy jet skis right into the mouth of the megalodon. Funny though how the shark that's supposed to be the "Meg" is actual a great white; top sharkologists (okay, ichytheologists if you want to get technical) assert that the Meg is actually closer related to the modern Tiger Shark than the white. In case you didn't know, I wanted to be a shark scientist when I was a kid.

Later, the original Cat People with Simone Simon was on. Both of those movies with her are amazing. She's so sexy, and evil. Plus it fits right in with the theme of my current novel, which is coming along slowly. Hopefully after the move it will all be easier. I want to have it finished by late September so I can work on my zombie novel for this years NaNoWriMo. Mmmm...NaNoWriMo.

Last but no least, or maybe least--I don't know. Anyway, I didn't send Walt anything for Father's Day.
We haven't really talked in months except when I wrote to update him on some publshing stuff. He just doesn't seem very interested, so I guess I'm not either.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaayum!!

Oh, and here's this thing:

Open Water is, to a lesser extent, akin to Blair Witch project. People seem to either love it or hate it, with very little middle ground. Also, almost everyone who sees it can't wait to tell you how they feel about it. That "hype" is how small films like this get noticed. Not much advirtising, but everyone who sees it has to tell everyone they know about it; especially horror fans and the lesser included "shark fans".

( Spoilery Goodness ) So in short, brush up on your Shark Week and check out this film! I can't believe it took me so long to see this film. In truth no one wanted to see it with me, I guess I'm just a big lame.

Speaking of sharks, here's a pic I like to call Diver learns U-turn in record time!

Big tough man with fishing pole kills giant mako shark by removing it from water!

But you know...it's still pretty scary. The top pic looks like one of the three rig sharks from Jaws. Sharks are fascinating, and even though they can and do kill people, we kill 10,000% more of them than they kill humans. While I hate the idea of films that stir up hatred of sharks, I can't stop watching them.

Nowadays, most of the really big sharks have been fished to death, they simply don't get to live long enough to get really huge. Lots of places protect them, but they still get tangled in fishing nets and in beach nets because they can't swim backwards. It's actually pretty sad. Not to mention that sharks are apex predators and fishing them out means an explosion in seal and sea lion populations. And THAT means that I have to pay more for fish at the grocery store. Okay, I'm getting off on a tangent.

My point is, you can kill a shark with a fishing pole. It's not really even that dangerous.
And while I'm outraged at the idea of anyone killing sharks for sport (including that damn Vic Hislop), I still am fascinated by these kinds of stories.

I mean Damn! Look at the size of that shark!

None of you took the time to add my good buddy cmdavi_70 even though i told you how great he is. So I guess you don't have enough information. He is AWESOME, and he is my old boyfriend from college and we're say...12 years into the whole "lets just be freinds" thing. Because if you are a mature adult, you can be friends with your exes if they are not complete tools. Ever find that?

Anyway, Dave is an excellent writer and has a great deal of interesting life expereince. He has similar taste in films to mine, but much mor eclectic tastes in music. My own taste in music is pretty average and run of the mill in case you hadn't noticed; while my taste in movies is snobby and stubborn. He works with kids and is pretty sexy.

I do know enough about music, however, to know that this is sad news for guitarists everywhere:

String maker for "God" dies in California

Jaws 3 is on TV right now, the one in 3D. And man...is it ever terrible.

The reason Jaws was a good movie is not just because of the big, scary shark that does things no shark would EVER do. It is compelling because you have enough background information on the characters to make you care a great deal about them. Quint is like that Ahab guy with his whale, which is why he has to die by it. And Hooper is not having an affair with Brody's wife (as per the novel) so we get to like him too. And a island sherriff afraid of the water? Le mou jouste! People have been trying to copy Jaws and I daresay The Italians did the most hilarious job. I love this rip-off with Vic Morrow as "Quint" and James Fransiscus as "Brody".
Plus, you know...Jaws manages to be genuinly scary with a PG rating and no swears. This is particularly evident in the scene where Quint smashes the radio, thereby dooming the crew. Brody reads him the riot act (aka, gives him the what-for) with no swears at all...yet in a completely convincing way. Plus I love that scene where Quint smashes the beer can and then Hooper drinks out of the styrofoam cup and smashes it making that mean face. Classic.

Now I'm off to bake. I'm trying a new Sweet Oatmeal bread for the party. But in case it sucks, I'm also making a yellow butter cake with chocolate frosting out of a can. So if that sucks, you can blame Duncan Hines, not me.