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Everybody mentions Spider Pig, so I will not.

I think I'm going to try to hire some ceremony musicians since I've been spectacularly unsuccessful at getting anyone to play for free. Luckily, my new job has me surrounded by musicians who are looking for gigs. Problem is, it's a bit more expensive than I thought. At the same time, I only get one wedding.

What do YOU think?

[Poll #1035829]

We saw the Simpsons movie. It was indeed, funny. Nothing really to report, just a funny, funny thing with about the same amount of political and social commentary as the show. There was a smidge of naughty language, one very sad moment, and a penis. Oh yeah, and Spider Pig/Harry Plopper.

I had therapy today, they are still on me about quitting smoking entirely. I'm not gonna do it. I don't think it's so bad to have a vice or two. I'll probably be done with this program soon after the wedding. I'll just have to get my meds from somewhere else.

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I concur that "it's not so bad to have a vice or two".
I'm sorry to agree with the therapy guys, but smoking is not a vice. It's addictive suicide.

Declaring it a "vice" suggests that you're not admitting that you're addicted, or prepared to deal with that addiction. It took my own dad (a man of remarkable willpower) 8 tries to quit. And it took my mother-in-law more than 40 years to quit.

David Sedaris and Warren Zevon smoked to self-medicate/channel their obsessive/compulsiveness and good on them. But if you're not self-medicating or channelling a major brain condition then please please please cut it the fuck out. Pretty please?

To quote Cake's Rock-n-Roll Lifestyle: "Excess ain't rebelling, you're buying what they're selling".The idea that the merchants of death are laughing while you poison yourself makes me so sad...

You know, I've thought a lot about this and have really considered the points you've brought up here. I confess that I am aware that I have an addiction, and that's why I'm so reticent to give it up entirely (were talking about pot here, not tobacco. I don't smoke tobacco). I don't know if I'll ever be ready to do that, but I have cut back tremendously. I used to smoke pretty much constantly, now I don't.

I appreciate the sentiment and your desire to keep me alive. :-]

Ah... a little bit different beast there.
This was the very piece another friend had the most problem with. He just couldn't think that pot was in the same class as the harder and more vicious stuff he'd been using. But addiction is still addiction.

I'm delighted you got the right idea from my words though. :)

I obsess over the idea of never smoking again as something truly intolerable. That alone probably means I have an addiction...albeit a functional one. I still feel okay about it though.

Obsess and addiction so close together.
Meaningful.

But just because I find drugs a huge impediment to functionality and creativity doesn't mean everyone must...

That said, I'd be really curious to see how much writing (and living you'd get done without.

I find that I get very little first draft writing done without pot, I just don't feel inspired or focused, which is actually kind of sad. However, I do all my editing sober, which is where decent prose gets turned into something great.

I've been going without for days or weeks at a time, but I always want to come back in the end.

Ah! I find that the big impediment to creativity is:
F E A R!

And as bad as I've seen pot fuck up some creatives I know, I have to admit it does take fear out of the equation - taking you from a -100 to a -25 or so.

"I don't have a problem with drugs," said Keith Richards "I have a problem with the police."

But for you it might be fear.
What do you think?

Could be. I have plenty of issues with anger, fear, anxiety etc. I'm working on it in therapy but I have a ways to go.

I admire your willingness to consider that, and I'll keep my digits crossed for you. :)

Thanks man.

In AA, they told us that we shouldn't think of "never again"; just think of "today" (as in "I'm not going to have a drink today").

That program did not work for me--well, it did for a while--but some of the philosophies and approaches I picked up from it work in lots of areas besides drinking. It sounds to me, though, as if smoking is not something you're ready to give up, and giving up/breaking any addiction has to be self-motivated; otherwise there's no chance of really breaking it.

Do not, I repeat, do not, beat yourself up about it, however. It'll only make the smoking less enjoyable (no, that's not exactly the right word), and it won't help you quit.

Thanks man, I feel pretty much the same way.

I suggested the Stevie Wonder song as your recessional, not the processional. That is what a friend of mine did, and it was great. Pick just some really happy song that you love or some song that means a lot to you and H and use that as your down the aisle song. TRADITIONS BE DAMNED!

:)

I'm hoping H will want to pick the recessional song, but if we hire the string players it will almost certainly be me.

Thanks for the advice, I'm all about bucking tradition.

The string music was really classy for my brother's wedding and definitely fit the mood of the outdoor ceremony. You could achieve something similar with an iPod, but you'd definitely need a soundsystem. Chris and I used a stereo with a CD player for ours, but we had a live performance during the ceremony from his friend a guitarist. At our wedding, the processional music was Bach's "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" [sample mp3 here] by Leo Kottke and the recessional was "Beautiful Day" by U2.

Wow, those music pics are awesome. I'm really leaning toward hiring the string players and just doing the iPod thing for the reception.

Just to say, the klezmer clarinet was at a Jewish wedding I attended 15 years ago, and it was just the coolest. Gave a neat vibe to the whole thing.

And I agree with you on the smoking. It sounds to me like you have a better handle on it now. Go you!

Sadly, I wouldn't know where to begin to find a clarinet player...

Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good about the pot thing too. I'm still thinking about it though, it's a thin line for me.

It's a tough call. I went without for the last month, while R was down in Maryland and while Mom was with us. It wasn't hard at all (except for a few nights when the dog was being especially annoying ; ), but we both lit up the evening she left.

I think breaks from smoking are a good thing. The high's better for one thing, I find. But I don't know if I'd want to give up the few times a week I do smoke permanently. I just enjoy it and the way it makes me feel. Takes the edge off this fucked up world we're in.

I burned CD's for my wedding. One for the prelude, then the March/Recessional, and one for the reception. Worked well for us, but it was an indoor wedding in late fall.

Pachelbel's Canon is good too, someone else mentioned it. I personally chose a random Medievalesque march that I liked when I was listening to all the music I had available. I couldn't even tell you what it sounded like now, how sad is that? :)

We may end up using CD's for the reception if we don't go with the iPod. I haven't figured out the logistics of all that yet. It's kinda stressing me out. Luckily, I have a great audio guy to figure all that out for me. :-]

Hmmm, who might that be?

I was actually referring to Ryan.

You're my voice guy!

I'd play a cello at your wedding for free if I wasn't in... Ohio. Hurm.

As far as CD/iPoddery goes, my cousin and his wife had a small outdoor wedding by a lake last September, and the CD player and speakers worked just fine for the ceremony music. Since everyone was standing during the ceremony save for those who couldn't, they just asked my brother to stand near the CD player and play the appropriate tracks at the appropriate times. Since it was small and the stereo was loud, everyone could hear and all was well.

I wonder how that would work in a big, open space?

This would be much easier to plan if it wasn't outside. Stupid paganism...

It was pretty open but I think it worked because everyone was rather close together, so they kept the speakers close. Best thing I can think of is to go out to the site with whatever you would use and see what you can do. Probably a time consuming pain in the ass, but it would work. ;)

If I get married I'd really like to do it outside, but the more I know about outdoor weddings the more it already gives me a headache. We had to squeeze my cousin's in between thunderstorms in a bit of a panicked rush. Blech. Problem is my getting married in a church or any sort would just be silly. I suppose I'll figure it all out when the time comes.

I've been thinking about just having it inside the venue, it's a big farm house. I dunno, I guess it depends on the weather.

I'm a huge fans of budgets --- especially for weddings.

Stick with whatever budget you & H have already set.

Maybe substitute something else for musicians, using the saving to pay for?

Or pickup a second job (Subway?, etc.) for a finite period of time, say 90 days. Just thinking aloud here.

Certainly, the temptation is there to spend "just a little more on this... and this... only one wedding... and this too...", but really ---- it is soooooooooo much nicer spending your first days, weeks and months married free of debt from the day itself.

Thanks. We're def not going into hock for the wedding, but now that I'm back to work we have a bit of extra dough to play with, and I really wanted some nice ceremony music.

Our budget is freakishly small, only $3K, so I don't think going up to $3500 is so bad.

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Everybody mentions Spider Pig, so I will not.

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