After Action Report #20

Mar. 13th, 2026 11:00 am
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Nancy Hartunian

Meet Trina, who indulged her dom’s desire. Did she love it? Did she hate it? Listen and learn. Did YOU try something new to you, and want us know about it? Write it up and send it in to Q@Savage.Love.

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[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Dan Savage

Struggle Session is a bonus column where I respond to a few comments from readers and listeners. I also share a letter and invite readers to have the first crack at giving the advice. I’m away this week — so Tuesday’s column was a repeat and there’s no Struggle Session today. But I’m not slacking: … Read More »

The post Struggle Session: Drunken JO Sesh Ends in Disaster appeared first on Dan Savage.

Magnum Extra: Sex & Television

Mar. 12th, 2026 11:00 am
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Nancy Hartunian

Dan brings back Matt Baume, author of “Hi Honey, I’m Homo!”- a history of queer characters on sitcoms. They talk about the gratifyingly realistic nature of Ilya and Shane’s relationship, how gay characters in the 70s were usually murderers and engage in a talmudic debate comparing the homo hockey show with Heartstopper.

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Epstein Files Libido Crash

Mar. 10th, 2026 11:00 am
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Nancy Hartunian

Naturally, on this sex and relationship podcast, many of you are thinking about the Epstein files. One caller used to be a dom/daddy for younger women who sought him out and enjoyed him. Still he feels guilty. And another caller is having their libido crash when they read the news. Meanwhile a straight man has … Read More »

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Poly Under Duress

Mar. 10th, 2026 11:00 am
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Dan Savage

Dear Readers: I’m off this week. To tide you over until I’m back, the tech-savvy, at-risk youth pulled some classic “PUD” questions from the archives. A PUD, of course, is someone who is “poly under duress.” Because while some start poly and some achieve poly, others have poly thrust upon ’em. These are their stories. … Read More »

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After Action Report #19

Mar. 6th, 2026 12:00 pm
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Nancy Hartunian

Vanilla. Straight. Cis. Monogamous. How could this story possibly be sexy? A monogamous couple tried a dual massage in a foreign country. Mirrors on the ceiling. Pillows on the bed. Jacuzzi. Steam room. At first they wondered if they were allowed to have sex. They were. Hear the tale! If you have a story you … Read More »

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Struggle Session: Folly Jamboree!

Mar. 6th, 2026 03:18 am
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Dan Savage

Struggle Session is a bonus column where I respond to comments — just a few — from readers and listeners. I also share a letter that won’t be included in the column and invite my readers take a turn giving advice. I’m hosting the HUMP Film Festival in Seattle this weekend — come see me … Read More »

The post Struggle Session: Folly Jamboree! appeared first on Dan Savage.

A Cure for Cottonmouth?

Mar. 3rd, 2026 12:00 pm
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Nancy Hartunian

When does subbing morph into self-harm? The relationship between a man and his much younger trans woman lover involves intense physical abuse. The girl has a wretched history, and engages in self harm. Although she gives consent, there’s also a language barrier that makes everything they do seem out of control and destructive. A bisexual … Read More »

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Quickies

Mar. 3rd, 2026 12:00 pm
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Patrick Kearney

1. My boyfriend swears he’s cut. I say he’s totally uncut. He insists he was circumcised as an infant. How do I convince him? Some circumcisions are “tight” (all of the foreskin removed) and others are “loose” (most of the foreskin left intact). The looser the circumcision, the more “uncut” a man’s cock might appear. … Read More »

The post Quickies appeared first on Dan Savage.

[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Dan Savage

Struggle Session is a bonus column where I respond to comments — just a few — from readers and listeners. I also share a letter that won’t be included in the column and invite my readers take a turn giving advice. Hey, everybody! HUMP 2026 Spring Program opened last night in Seattle — watch the … Read More »

The post Struggle Session: Come See HUMP (And Me!) This Weekend in Seattle! appeared first on Dan Savage.

After Action Report #18

Feb. 27th, 2026 12:00 pm
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Nancy Hartunian

They designed, engineered and built their own fuck box. Dan’s question: “So did you upholster it?” Hear all about it, how it fit into the sex party and whether they enjoyed it or not. Do YOU have a perverted tale to tell? Write it up and send it in to Q@Savage.Love.

The post After Action Report #18 appeared first on Dan Savage.

Sex & Politics #43

Feb. 26th, 2026 12:00 pm
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Nancy Hartunian

Peter Rothpletz is hot shit. The commentary writer has appeared in The New York Times, The New Republic, The Hill, MSNBC, and The Guardian. He is the morning newsletter chief for Mehdi Hasan’s Zeteo, and the Senior Writer and Producer for The Don Lemon Show. When Rothpletz first appeared on Sex & Politics in November … Read More »

The post Sex & Politics #43 appeared first on Dan Savage.

[syndicated profile] rudepundit_feed

Posted by Unknown

This week, we got word that the Justice Department is finding it impossible to move forward on the autopen case against former President Joe Biden. See, current President Donald Trump thinks Biden didn't use the autopen correctly. Specifically, Trump believes that Biden was so out of it that the autopen was used to sign pardons that he was unaware of. Trump wants those pardons rescinded and people punished for this "crime." 

It should go without saying that Biden wasn't actually completely brain dead and still isn't; Biden's alleged mental incapacity is just a basic belief of the MAGA mob at this point, something that apparently every cabinet member is required to say at every appearance. Also, all those pardons, like for Gen. Mark Milley, Anthony Fauci, and Biden's son, Hunter, are of people that Trump wants to hurt because he thinks they made him look bad or just because, and the pardon is in the way. 

The reason the DOJ is having such a problem is that prosecutors can't find a crime to charge Biden or his aides with. And, when it comes to President Biden, the Supreme Court's utter disgrace of a decision granting presidents immunity from prosecution for things done in office doesn't just apply to Trump, even if it always seems that way with this court. But, of course, there was never anything there, just like there was never anything there with the case against six Democratic members of Congress who made the video that told soldiers not to follow illegal orders, just like there's no case against Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell or James Comey or Letitia James. None of these are legitimate. They are merely vehicles for Trump to get vengeance on or harm people who don't go along with everything he wants or who want to hold him to account for breaking the law.

Think for a moment about the amount of time and money wasted on these investigations: the work hours, the use of materials, and, in some cases, the time of the grand juries. It's not simply that MAGA cretins support Trump in contorting the DOJ into his own private legal army to go after heretics and unbelievers. It's that they believe that all of those people have committed crimes worthy of prosecution by the federal government because Trump has told them they have. 

That's how we live now. So much of what the government does is because it's responding to Trump's warped delusions or to affirm the lies that he needs people to believe. Take the 2020 election, for instance.  Essentially the first tenet of the MAGA faith is that Trump won the 2020 election and it was stolen from him due to some combination of foreign interference, Democratic cheating, outright fraud, and possibly the devil. There is no evidence for this and it has been adjudicated literally dozens of times. But the federal government is currently spending millions of dollars "investigating" the election, including the FBI seizing the records of Fulton County, Georgia, to look for this alleged fraud. That's for a state where the election was run by Republicans, just not Republicans willing to throw their workers under the Trumpian bus. It's a lie, it's an illusion, and it's now the agenda of several agencies to "prove" this fantasy. 

Every major thing being done by this administration is happening because Trump wants to force us to exist in his fake world, the one where he's always right, anyone who opposes him is an enemy seeking his destruction, and everyone needs to be grateful that he's taking care of the joint. When I talk about the sheer amount of money being wasted on this effort, I'm not including the corruption that has enriched Trump and his family and other close to him. I'm talking about all the funds being wasted in our name.

The heartbreaking death and destruction of our "war" on Iran is part of this. It's all based on lies and delusions, delusions that go back to 1979, when Trump, like many wannabe hawks, reacted to the Islamic Revolution and the kidnapping of Americans by demanding that the US bomb Tehran into oblivion. Everything around the evolving reasoning for the war is an extension of this fake reality. Iran wasn't remotely close to building a nuclear weapon. Iran wasn't on the verge of bombing Israel. Everything is nonsense, but we're at war because Trump believes in it all. Or makes a good enough show at believing it.

Like I said, this is how we live now. We exist at this nexus between actual reality and a false MAGA reality. The problem is that the latter is where we're forced to fight. So it might be in actual reality that virtually all immigrants, documented or not, are hard-working members of communities who make the nation a better place and deserve the chance to become citizens. But in MAGA reality, most are violent criminals who want to cut white teenage girls to pieces. In order to get to act on what's really at stake, the fake stuff needs to be defeated. So we can't even get to immigration reform until we get over the mass deportations and ICE insanity. False reality is wrecking actual reality.

If you want a measure of how far we've slipped, there's this: On Saturday, at 4 in the morning, a plaque was installed near an entrance to the Capitol in DC. That plaque honors the members of law enforcement who defended the building during the insurrection of January 6, 2021. A law was passed by Congress in March 2022 mandating the installation of the plaque by March 2023 (Republicans took back the House in November 2022). Instead, the thing sat in the basement as Trump and the GOP contorted the reality of January 6, turning a violent riot by marauding idiots determined to keep their racist/rapist president in power into, as Trump puts it, "a day of love." The police who were there, getting beaten and maced, with over 140 injured and 4 committing suicide because of injuries and effects of that day, became seen not as the heroes they were, but as traitors to the MAGA reality, condemned, threatened, and demeaned. 

It points to something else that is chilling about all this policy based on unreality; it's as chilling as an HHS policy that will kill children, it's as chilling as the end of USAID causing deaths by the hundreds of thousands, it's as chilling as the war with Iran where the goal seems to be mass murder and suffering, and it's as chilling as the cruel and callous version of reality that the MAGA movement wants to impose on us. It's that Trump and the MAGA cretins don't care who gets hurt in order to make the world to fit their warped vision, and that includes children at a school in Iran and it includes us. In fact, Trump, the odious Pete Hegseth, their manosphere lackeys, all seem to thrill at the deaths that have happened and the potential for many more. 

This is beyond the fact that Republicans make policies based on lies. This is about forcing a certain kind of thinking, a faith as delusional as the followers of the Supreme Leader in Iran have. The question is how the fantasists will react when actual reality comes crashing in, as it will. Wars never go how you think. Court cases can keep maintaining some adherence to facts. But as long as Trump keeps forcing the entire operation of the government to act and react according to whatever beliefs he pulls out of his aggrieved, diseased brain or the phantoms that plague him, like his 2020 loss, we will not be free of the fake reality. And we'll have to keep paying for its continued existence.

(Note: I'm not saying that "both sides lies" because I can't think of a single lie or delusion that Democrats have believed while in power that so contorted the operation of the government.)

Books and Telly

Mar. 7th, 2026 02:51 pm
ofearthandstars: A stack of books by a window. (books)
[personal profile] ofearthandstars
I finally finished reading An Immense World by Ed Yong this morning. Part of me felt guilty for taking so long, but, well, the paperback version I purchased had ridiculously tiny print, so required reading with both reading glasses + reading light, and is not something I could simply lie down and absorb passively. Also, each chapter is so full of interesting research and covers several different species and their unique senses/Umwelts, and so it is definitely a book that requires a little bit of savoring and time for adsorption. It's Ed Yong, though, so it's accessible, and views the world with Delight, which is as it should be.

I also finished up Patchwork Dolls a little bit ago. I enjoyed it, the feel of it reminded me a lot of "Tales from the Loop", but with a bit of a feminist undertone. My book reviews are saved here.

Podcast wise, I am behind in everything, but still enjoying catching up on back episodes of WTNV while cleaning. One day I will be caught up (except they keep producing -- not that I'm complaining!) That said, the Weather in one of the episodes I heard today was absolutely stunning.


We are still watching "The Pitt" (♥ though the formula is predictable); "Reservation Dogs" (♥ adore, and genuinely funny); "Hacks" (decent); and "Tiny Beautiful Things" (not sure how I feel about this one yet). I'm also catching up on Grey's Anatomy (which, I know, okay, but I started that show by binging the first 8+ seasons while recovering from hip surgery and having to pass a lot of time on a stationary bike, and now I must just see it through). Also enjoying new episodes of "Bridgerton", and I do not care if L. refers to it as my smut, it is fancy woke Regency fantasy smut, and I will enjoy turning off my brain and letting myself enjoy the inanity of it all because...pretty flowers, pretty clothing, pretty peoples.

Anyhoo...the house is cleaned (~*\o/*~), the back porch is swept, and I have a little time to relax before this evening's festivities.

May you be safe, may you be happy, may you be content and at peace. ♥

FridayFive: Snow 'Nuff

Mar. 7th, 2026 10:21 am
ofearthandstars: A single tree underneath the stars (Default)
[personal profile] ofearthandstars
From this week's [community profile] thefridayfive:

1. Do you know of any other words for snow? What's your favourite and why?
The main other languages I know any of are Spanish, French, Italian, or German, so: nieve, neige, neve, or schnee. I think my favorite is just snow, though, if that's okay. The Spanish/French/Italian versions also elicit a sense of the quiet calm that comes with the event, though.

2. What's your ideal temperature range for winter?
40-56°F, with maybe a couple of days in the 20-30°F range. The cold makes me hurt.

3. Favourite winter activity? What about it makes it your favourite?
Probably making hot cocoa, because it's a special drink that everyone looks forward to, and can be a nice reward for any outdoor work. I also tend to bake more in winter, since it helps to warm the house, and we try to avoid using the oven as much as we can the rest of the year.

4. What are three things you can't do without when winter arrives?
Armwarmers, warm socks, a hot drink.

5. Do you have favourite winter holiday activities?
I love a bonfire, or even just a candle, burning through the solstice. I also love the clarity of the winter night sky, but I do not get out to enjoy stargazing as much as I used to.

Friday Five Feelings Edition

Feb. 28th, 2026 04:24 pm
ofearthandstars: A single tree underneath the stars (Default)
[personal profile] ofearthandstars
From this week's [community profile] thefridayfive:

1. What made you happy this week?
I managed to knock out a fair amount of tasks at work, and also achieved some monthly goals (planning for upcoming trips/birthdays). Feeling accomplished is good.

2. What made you sad?
I can't say that I've felt particularly sad over the last week, but I've been doing a lot of continued grieving over work and personal life changes in the last year.

3. What made you angry?
The news—from Kansas, from Minnesota, from EPA, from Iran, from everywhere. I'm so tired of terrible people being terrible.

4. What are you looking forward to in the next week?
My SO has a birthday next weekend, and we'll be celebrating that as best we can.

5. What are you not looking forward to?
My daily work is a bit of a slog right now, and it's hard to stay mentally motivated and engaged.

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