dammit.

[wednes]

I've been feeling pretty depressed lately over work and some other random things. I went in for EMDR yesterday to find that yet another member of Group has died...badly. The last time a girl died, she had gotten drunk and froze to death outside. This time the woman OD'd in her car, they think on purpose, and nobody found her for several days. You cannot conceive of how awful and depressing that is to me. Well, maybe you can. But it sucks.

I'm not at all excited for my shower, I just hope people show up so I'm not sitting here alone like a complete tool. I'm making a pineapple cake, and supposedly one of the girls from Group is doing the cooking. We shall see. We are doing the toilet paper wedding gowns, so that'll be fun. And there will be prizes.

JoJo got into the garbage that H left untied. So he ate some taco bell and part of a blood pressure pill yesterday. I have a feeling cleaning up cat puke is in my future. He can barely keep cat food down, let alone a meximelt. Stupid cat.

I'm on my way to work, where my secret work crush will be. I think I have sales training today or tomorrow, I forget which. And I also think I get Monday off for the "holiday". I'll likely use the occasion to grocery shop so I don't have to go on Sunday. I wish my review would hurry up and happen so I can find out how badly they think I'm doing. Not knowing is far worse than just dealing with something bad, I think.

Comments

[peteralway.livejournal.com]

Bad crap sucks.

Here's rooting for the good stuff to take hold in your brain, and beat down all the nasty neural pathways and brain chemicals with happy connections between neurons and friendly neurotransmitters!

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Thanks man. I take pills that help with that very thing!

[groovesinorbit]

That's awful about the Group member. Yeesh. What a way to go.

Pineapple cake sounds awesome, though.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I hope the shower is fun and not too sad because there'll be someone missing. ;-[

[groovesinorbit]

I hope so, too. Maybe raise a glass (of whatever) to her, in memory? She's bound to be there in spirit wishing you well.

[lickingtoad.livejournal.com]

We still love you.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I love you too.

[madush69.livejournal.com]

Sorry to heear about your friend.


As for work, you've got to be doing WAY BETTER than I did.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I dont' feel like I'm doing so well. Everytime I come in there's another little note or Email about something I fucked up.

[vjsmom.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry about the woman from your Group. I know the previous death was so hard on you, and it has to be awful to go through it all again. My thoughts are with you.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I appreciate that. This time around is more difficult just because I knew this woman better. She was going to help out with my wedding, so now the day will just feel like someone is missing.

[kissdbyagnome.livejournal.com]

Clyde was sick the last 2 months of my wedding planing . He never made it to my wedding in fact, and died a month later. I think Clyde would have been happy for me, and I also think your friend was happy for you. It's easy to say don't be sad, but just know that there will be many people there for YOU. People will be there on that day just for you and H. It's a great thing:)

[wednes.livejournal.com]

That's very sad about Clyde. I wondered about the timing and why I didn't see him in your wedding pics. You're right though, it will still be a good time surrounded by friends and H's family.

[kissdbyagnome.livejournal.com]

Yes I considered canceling the wedding. My aunt Jane called me and spoke to me and suggested I not do that. I was torn. My mom had to leave almost right away to go back to the hospital. I felt selfish in a way because I wanted her with me, but understood why she had to leave. So yeah, stressful things happen. I guess the world doesn't know that it's your day and it should behave (not to make light of your friends passing.)

Just remember to take time and feel the day. It goes by to fast. And let people do things for you on that day (and the day before if you have to set up)...because if you don't you will be very tired. AND try to stay in the moment.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

That's good advice. I hope I can keep it in mind through all the stress.

[diachrony.livejournal.com]

That really does suck about the woman from Group. No wonder you're feeling down.

Toilet paper wedding gowns are really fun though. And the cake sounds delicious.

Hope you feel better soon!

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I'm slowly getting back to normal, with the help of some meds, which I admit I missed a few doses of.

I'm sure I'll be fine soon.

[cmdavi-70.livejournal.com]

Condolences and wishes for happier times.

I hope your friends come through and make your shower worthwhile. I have a feeling you need their presence and friendship a lot more than whatever gifts you might receive

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Ha! I keep forgetting that I'm supposed to get gifts at this thing. Most of my friends, esp ones from Group are pretty poor.

[sexyrockgoddess.livejournal.com]

Wow- thats would be an awful way to go.. pineapple cake is tasty- for the rare occasion that i eat cake:) I am more of a cheesecake & ice cream person:D Kitties are silly aren't they? One of my kitties will press the button on the garbage and grab the plastic wrap to seal my ice cream and run around the house chewing on it.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

LOL Cats are so funny when they get in the trash, running around with their booty like they're all important...

[kissdbyagnome.livejournal.com]

I'm coming! Just got my invite yesterday, haven't rsvp'd to the number, but i'm coming. So no tools:)

I've been feeling blu about my job as of late as well.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

That's sweeet.

[lirrin.livejournal.com]

Drop me an email, willya? I can't find your email addy to save my life, and I wanna give you an update on a couple of the Projects I have going for you. :)
lisa (at) triplelle (dot) com

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Okay!