Whaddaya MEAN You've Never Heard of Me?!?

Within say, an hour of this weekend's shooting, the Internet discourse devolved into a hateful screaming match about who is more responsible. I'm here to tell you that there is plenty of blame to go around.

Sure, there's plenty of violent rhetoric coming from the right. To rile up their angry, frightened, gun-and-scapegoat-loving base, conservatives do tend to employ a lot of aggressive language that many are citing as the impetus for this shooting. Now let me ask you this, how many of you have ever murdered someone because someone on TV told you to? Nobody? Okay, good. Now, how many of you have ever murdered someone because a couple people on TV, the internet, and politics suggested that you do so? Again, nobody? Awesome. Have you ever murdered someone (or even tried) because of a book, a song, a movie, a little devil on your shoulder, or a map with a bunch of cross-hairs on it? I thought not. That's because this is something disturbed people do. People who are not well acquainted with reality can sometimes take things more literally than intended, with ugly, horrible consequences. And of course, the Bible has been cited as the cause for many, man murders. So has Catcher in the Rye. But we don't dig up the corpses of Salinger or Jesus so we can hold them accountable, do we?

That said, I honestly do not think that Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, or Bill O'Reilly are actually glad that someone opened fire on a crowd. In fact, I bet they are horrified because they know full well that a lot of people will blame them for the actions of a lone loon. Yes, teabaggers are often also gun nuts. Yes, many are racists, homophobes, misogynists, etc. They are ignorant, misinformed, carry nonsensical misspelled signs, and are terrified of anything they don't understand. I think they are ludicrous, and need to shut up. I do NOT, however, think they are all okay with murdering people they don't agree with. In my opinion, gun nuts come in two basic stripes: Those who are nutty for guns the way that I am nutty for movies: enthusiastic, knowledgeable, passionate, are careful not to leave naughty things in reach of children. Then, there are the frightened, hateful types who keep tons of guns around because they are terrified that the gov't, the ter'rsts, the atheists, or whoever they're hating at the mo' are gonna come take their guns and kill their grandmothers or whatever. They cram the 2nd amendment down our collective throats and swear that they are nothing more than patriots who love their country...which must be the reason Sig Sauer puts out crap like this.

IMHO, the reason shit like this happens is largely due to the stigma surrounding mental illness. When we pretend that the ONLY diagnoses are "crazy" or "sane" and that telling someone they need mental help is a huge insult--we open the door for nuttiness to be confused with reality. This is exacerbated by denying poor people access to doctors and a general tenor in society that people who get help for mental issues are inherently less valuable, trustworthy, truthful, or reasonable than people who fervently pretend that they are fine. If you think spraying a peaceful crowd with automatic gunfire is a good way to get your point across, you're a loon. And you'd be a loon even if no one had ever heard of Sarah Palin or her endless chanting of "don't retreat, reload!"

Myself, I write exactly the sort of books that some loon might read the wrong way and think I'm telling him/her to murder someone or that "evil" is okay. They are crazy books, but like Michael Douglass in "Falling Down," they make an odd kind of sense. I do not advocate murder, nor do I believe in evil. Evil is a cop-out, just like Bill O'Reilly's version of god. I don't know what causes this, so it must be god/the devil/bob/evil/FSM. Like zero-tolerance policies, it is a short cut to thinking or having to decide things.

With all of that in mind, Fred Phleps and his ilk can fuck right off for their plans to picket the funerals of these people. I know I just said I don't advocate violence, but if I was a Christian and this guy kept telling people he was on the same side as me--I might well want to introduce his face to a jumbo roll of duct tape.

Leslie Neilsen died, which if you're on the Internets, you probably already know. Sad, as I recently wrote an article about Creepshow for Zombie Zone News. He didn't even get a chance to comment on it. Frown.

My 40th birthday party was wicked awesome. I'd love to regale you with pics, stories, and tales of all the awesome people, gifts, foodstuffs, drinkables, and etc that went down. However, my corpal tunnel is out of freakin' control. Despite wearing my braces religiously, it hurts to type. In fact, the only really comfortable position for my hands is curled into a loose fist. Also, my pinkie fingers occasionally go numb even if I'm just resting my hands. Need to get an ergo keyboard for my laptop immediately. I am terrified of hand surgery, and tend to freak out about medical shit long before my doctor actually tells me what's going on. Seeing the doc on Weds. I'm so worried, I'm going at 9:25am instead of waiting a week.

The party was awesome though. All the food turned out great. It was our largest crowd ever, with many of my favorite peeps in attendance. Some came from far and wide just to be there. I got some beautiful gifts-- like a cool dream-catcher, a thing or two off my wish list, some lovely and/or hilarious cards. The outpouring of genuine affection was indescribably amazing. I'm not one to use the word blessed, so I'll just say I am fucking lucky. Here is me and just one of the incredible gifts I got:



Also had no voice to speak of *heh* when I woke up. After drinking tea all day, it's a bit better. So I'll have to go to work tomorrow, unlike today.

Harlan Ellison is dying.
*bevy of emotional commentary*
I feel about Harlan Ellison the way any writer with a brain feels about him. He is god to us. Praise him. He inspired people who inspired people who inspire me. He doesn't pretend to like shit, and he doesn't hold back what he thinks even when the result is directly harmful to so-called networking. His integrity and commitment to his craft may be even more impressive than his work.

This is just the kind of attitude that makes my heart swell with admiration for him:

"My wife has instructions that the instant I die, she has to burn all the unfinished stories. And there may be a hundred unfinished stories in this house, maybe more than that. There's three quarters of a novel. No, these things are not to be finished by other writers, no matter how good they are. It could be Paul Di Filippo, who is just about the best writer in America, as far as I'm concerned. Or God forbid, James Patterson or Judith Krantz should get a hold of The Man Who Looked for Sweetness, which is sitting up on my desk, and try to finish it, anticipating what Ellison was thinking -- no! Goddammit. If Fred Pohl wants to finish all of C.M. Kornbluth's stories, that's his business. If somebody wants to take the unfinished Edgar Allan Poe story, which has now gone into the public domain, and write an ending that is not as good as Poe would have written, let 'em do whatever they want! But not with my shit, Jack. When I'm gone, that's it. What's down on the paper, it says 'The End,' that's it. 'Cause right now I'm busy writing the end of the longest story I've ever written, which is me."

Beneath my laughter and raucous applause, I am sad.
Thank you sir, for everything.

Photoshop gets my hopes up again with this story of a supposed giant Great White Shark, (to be confused with a White Pointer, because that's what they call them where Steve Irwin is from). Sad thing is, it's obviously manipulated, which makes me very sad.



I do so wish it was real. But it's pretty clear that it isn't. Too bad, because overfishing has killed off most of the bigger sharks, and they're getting pretty rare. *sigh*

New episode of LOST hits January 27, 2010.
It is entitled "LAX."
Oooooooooh, I am super stoked.

In violin news, I think the problem with tuning this violin is the humidity (or lack thereof) in my apartment. So I need to spend on some kind of humidifier. I still think the peg is bad because it shouldn't shrink that badly after just a few hours in my apartment. Of course, maybe I'm just saying that because I don't want to spend $30 on a case humidifier and a hygrometer. I guess I don't really know. But the fact that it's only one peg leads me to think the instrument bears some looking at. Some of the other pegs don't turn very smoothly, but I don't know if that's them or me.

Happened to find my 4th grade teacher on Facebook recently. She remembered me, which I guess is one of the good things about having a ridiculous name.

Remember a little while back when some jackass in Florida let his snake escape and it killed a little girl? Seems that he and the mother are being charged with manslaughter. I am glad to hear it. Not to be a bitch, but that girl would still be alive if they'd had the common fucking sense to latch the cage properly and maybe stack some books on top. My snake turned mean on me after we got the cats but he still never escaped. I was always really careful. I knew I couldn't live with myself if the snake every hurt one of my cats (or vice versa, but that wasn't very likely).

I was shocked and saddened to learn that a new power cord for my computer is $72. I don't have to pay for it, of course, thanks to the AppleCare. But jeez. And it's not like you can get by without one. Also, I got a new cord for H's camera, which I had lost. It doesn't work on my computer for some reason, it says it's drawing too much power and is going to "shut down the hub." Problem is, it was plugged in directly. It's a puzzlement, but I'm going to try a few things before I insist that they send me a new cord.

For some reason, my back has been hurting really, really bad lately. Not sure what that's all about, but I'm doing extra yoga to see if I can blast through it, so to speak.

In animal news, some stupid jackass in Florida let his python escape and it killed a little girl. Honestly, that's a crime so ridiculous it almost feels like they're using the snake to cover up a deliberate murder. What fucking moron doesn't know how to keep a snake from escaping? Oh right, the kind who shouldn't have one in the first place. In Florida, you need a permit to house a snake. Presumably, so you'll learn how to care for it properly. This asshat didn't bother to get one. Plus, when he saw the snake on the girl, he yelled at and stabbed it to get it off her. Here's the thing, if you read even one book on amateur herping, it will tell you that snakes have no pain sensors, and cannot hear sound in the air. So say again: Jackass.

Speaking of jackassery, H sent me a would be funny if it weren't so fucking sad vid of a 911 call where a guy felt "robbed" by a McDonalds. I have to say, both the guy and the 911 operators handled this badly. The caller should have been less of a stupid, selfish, immature, douchebag. The 911 op should have given the caller the non-emergency number. He didn't. Honestly, I've called 911 for non-life-threatening-emergencies because I didn't know the non-emergency number. Say, an enraged customer who has not threatened bodily harm, but whom I still want the fuck out of my store. Not a true emergency, but I've no time to go looking up numbers. Anyway, the biggest problem with this kind of behavior is that it's often cited when something like this happens.

In better news, I finished the third draft of Kiss Me Like You Love Me which, as I mentioned, is not based on anyone I know in real life. Seems to be some confusion on that, so I'm clearing it up once again. Anyway, it's perilously close to being done. Mmmmm...done.

So...waterboarding is legal, is it? I guess that's what the courts have said recently. So no one responsible for ordering torture, or actually torturing someone is going to answer for it.

And Dr Tiller's family is not planning to reopen his clinic. Sad.
I guess in this case, the terrorists win.

Meanwhile the murderer of Dr Tiller has proclaimed that there are many more acts of domestic terrorism planned, but he wouldn't give specifics.

So I must ask: why aren't we waterboarding this sick fuck?
If it's legal and therefore morally correct, what's the problem?




Obviously, I do not support torture. But so many people are screaming about how torture is justified with terrorists and even that to NOT torture them makes one a "terrorist sympathizer." Does this only apply to brown terrorists? Only to foreigners? I honeslty don't get it. This guy is a murderer and intent on using fear and violence to get his way. Ergo, he's a terrorist. Last I heard, we had a War on Terror in this country. So, if you're okay with torture, what's the problem with torturing this fucker to keep more doctors from being murdered?

White Tiger kills zookeeper while tourists watch.

So...the animal lived it's whole life in captivity in what were reported to be cramped and crowded conditions. And when it exercised its natural instincts, it was put down. I don't want to say it's not tragic when a person dies just doing their job. But man...wild cats are NOT meant to be kept in cages. And whaddaya know, it led to death of both a person and a rare animal.
Plus, this particular tiger was killed after the attack had ended. I can understand shooting a tiger if it's actively attacking someone, or even if it is loose in a crowd of people. People say that once they see people as food, they will be more likely to attack us. I say that big cats already see us as food, and that it's fucking stupid to ever assume otherwise. Just ask Roy Horn...or don't, that guy is crazy.

Apparently the guy running the park was investigated by NZ's Ministry. After assessing the animal's conditions and surroundings, they considered putting 40 of them down. There were 42 big cats being housed there at the time. I guess being some kind of famous "Lion Man" doesn't necessarily make you a competent zookeeper.

This is, as it happens, the second recent White Tiger attack in a zoo. Last November, a cleaning guy in Singapore got mauled to death by two white tigers. People thought at the time the guy might have been "crazy" or suicidal. As he's dead, they still don't know. Anyway, here's the cell phone footage of the Singapore attack. Warning: this is actual footage, with sound, of a guy being attacked by tigers and people reacting to it. It is truly horrifying to watch, so much so that you might not want to. Seriously.



The difference between the Singapore attacks and most others is that Singapore Zoo determined that the attacking tigers would NOT be put down. They said they were acting "naturally."

Of course a year earlier, a Siberian Tiger escaped from its enclosure at San Francisco Zoo. It killed a zoo patron and attacked two others before being shot dead by police, who for some reason, were on the scene before zookeepers. Later, it was determined that not only were the victims taunting the tiger, but also that the enclosure did not remotely meet current zoo standards for tigers. So again, a person and an animal died.

I think I've mentioned, I'm torn on the whole zoo thing. There is certainly value in providing sanctuary for animals who can't live in the wild for one reason or another. Breeding and acclimation programs for endangered animals is generally a good thing. And teaching future generations about the beauty and importance of having animals in the wild is also very important. Zoos are doing better and better when it comes to providing healthy habitats for most animals. When I was a kid, pants-wearing monkeys smoked cigars and rode tricycles at Detroit Zoo. Now they fling poo just like real monkeys (kidding, only captive monkeys do this). Still, wild animals in captivity is a big fucking drag.

Okay, enough about that. It's my day off and I have another character to kill.

Not really "feeling it" today. Don't want to go to work. Don't feel able to write. Not wanting to be social or productive and am really just forcing myself to do regular, normal stuff. In short, I'm very depressed. And I'm sick to death of it. Had to postpone my doc appointment due to finances, but hopefully I'll be able to go next week.

H and I watched the BattleStar Galactica finale last night.
( My spoilery thoughts on the matter )That said, I can't imagine we'll watch Caprica. I don't even know who the Greystone's are.

I also caught the Big Love season finale last night. I have to say, I feel bad for Albee. With Roman as his father, I don't see how he could have become anything other than what he is. Nicky is a different story, as she has had the unconditional love of a family for quite some time now, and she keeps fucking up. I think Bill is in the right there. Joey's whole deal was a surprise, though of course it makes a lot of sense. I really do enjoy that show, though even for HBO, a ten episode season is pretty punk.

The latest word on Daniel Radcliffe's stunt double is that he will be a quadriplegic. It's very sad, the poor kid was only 25. I guess they've finally repoened the set and have resumed filming.

Funnily enough, I was just watching The Naked Gun on cable, and now it's non-murderous* co-star is dead. Adeiu, Ricardo Montalban. Know in your heart that I have a bunch of movies in my collection with you in them, like Wrath of Khan, Escape to and Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, and the aforementioned Naked Gun. And you know, 88 is a rich, full life. He was married to the same woman since 1944 until she died in November of 2007. That is an insanely long time. I should be lucky to have half so much time with H.

*the other co-star being Orenthal J Simpson. Not to be confused with H.



I've been working on book publicity things all day. New tip sheets for both books, new book signing proposal letter, and new compilation of reviews. I sent a bunch of pics to gusterize who is designing my website. I'm also working on the bio for the site, not sure what all I want to include. I need to read a bunch of other authors sites to see what kind of things people are putting in their bios. Is it possible to be zany and professional? I hope so. I also have a new list of independent bookstores I'm going to try to get signings at.

Still very frustrating to hear that other writers from my publishing house are getting Borders signings, and I still can't. It's like ramming your head against a brick freaking wall.

Also, swayworn: that music you sent me was wicked awesome. I finally had a chance to sit down and listen to it. My socks were sufficiently rocked. So many thanks for that.

8,607 / 50,000 (17.2%)

It's been slow going, as I've just barely be keeping up with my wordcount. I have to break 10K today, and am going to try to get some of that done at work. Hopefully it will be slow enough for me to do that.

Here's a pic of me taken many years ago, I think when I was living at the Heathen Ranch in Saline.

It's of me, with my giant glasses and Ames (kissdbyagnome), who performed my wedding ceremony. Nice, no?

In sadder literary news, Michael Crichton died at only 66. I've got to think he had a few more novels in him. Prey was supposed to be made into a movie years ago...I wonder what ever happened with that. Movies of his books tend to make a lot of money.

Per Chris Baty, I'm supposed to be making a list of things I love in novels:
Insane but loveable characters
gruesome murders
suspense
insight into character's past
drug use esp pot smoking
things that make me want to suspend disbeleif

things I hate:
too similar to last novel by same author
miraculous recoveries
religious overtones
trite retells of old monsters: vampires, werewolves etc
unbelievably happy endings

What's on your list?

Sad times, as Levi Stubbs of the Four Tops is dead at age 72.

Levi may be best remembered as the voice of Audrey II in the musical movie version of Little Shop of Horrors. So just imagine that I'm not at work and I took the time to dig up an awesome pic of the carnivorous plant for you all. Oh, ta heck with it, here:



In other news, I have but one single lonely review of The Cat's Apprentice over at Amazon. That is so sad...and I need more. So as soon as you crazy kids have read your books, please make like groovesinorbit and leave me a review.

Another author at my publishing house secured a Borders signing without the BINC number every Borders in Ann Arbor has assured me I need to get a signing. My sales are stupid low, as pretty much everyone I know who intends to buy a book has already bought one. My commercial is doing shit for business despite how much it costs, and there are over a million books on Amazon doing better than mine.

Couple that with the fact that pretty much no one was interested in the FREE zombie story I posted at MySpace, nor the deleted Sadie chapter I posted here. I know I don't post these things for the purpose of collecting comments, but I did expect that some of you would be at least a little excited about the previously unseen chapter.

Maybe that's my problem, I'm not making people get excited about the book.
My new book is coming out in September, and it's nowhere near as good as the Sadie book.
So it's not going to do nearly the sales that Sadie did, which as I mentioned, were alarmingly low.
I swear I'm gonna be stuck selling violins and living in an apartment for the rest of my fucking life.
Fie!

The rest of the world appears to be up in arms over the Obama New Yorker cover. I must admit I was initially offended by it. But it's not as if the New Yorker is calling Obama a muslim extremist, not really. It's actually a great compliment to be on the cover of the New Yorker, I wouldn't sneeze at it, no matter how I was depicted. Of course it's easy for me to say that seeing as how it will never happen. Anyway, I guess the New Yorker is much cleverer than me...which is why once I again, I didn't quite "get it." But I guess it's a satire of how people keep trying to derail Obama's campaign with depictions of him as a Muslim or terrorist sympathizer. I guess there are still people who are offended by Obama's not wearing a flag lapel pin. Asinine! It amazes me how fucking gullible people can be.

Stan Winston died.

He was only 62.

...that I don't have one single review up at Borders, OR Barnes & Noble. I begged, I pleaded, I sent out individual Emails and made people promise to leave me a review at either Borders or Barnes & Noble. And still I have none.

*sniff sniff*

This books stuff is really important to me, you know?
Because it's probably the most important thing I'll do in life.

But there is good news:

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating

I've got a half a mind to go to Best Buy and buy The Mist.
Damn, that was a good movie.

Roy Schieder has shuffled off this mortal coil. Sad times. So much for my idea for a Seaquest reunion. I'll have to get the DeLuise kids back on TV some other way.

My dulcimer arrived in the mail today, despite the tracking saying it is going to Brooklyn. They are fast tracking another one to me, so whichever one looks best, I am keeping. I haven't opened it up yet, H is hogging the big table while watching Sarah Connor Chronicles. So far, it's tiny and it's a weird kind of orange color. I may paint it or something, I'll have to research what I can do.

I'm looking for a tabulature of Greensleeves in DAA tuning. I found one in DAd but I'm not quite ready to go to a new tuning yet. Anyway, my new dulcimer seems like a nice, very basic starter instrument, I'm going to have a riotous blast playing on it. I eventually won an eBay auction for a dulcimer kit, so my buddy Steve and I will likely get started on that soon.



I hear that at my work, they use reviews as a means to gank people's bonuses. I just found out what my bonus is supposed to be, should be interesting to see what i actually get. I'm new to the concept of actually making less money for doing a sub par job, which I'm convinced my job performance will be viewed as. My sales are average, but I still screw up on a fairly regular basis. So we shall see.

Tomorrow I have to be up early, but I'm not remotely tired. Fie.

Evel Kenevel, who when I was a kid was a big, freakin' deal, died today.
He was *snerk* 69.
Here's the news thingy.

I'm not a big fan of the whole daredevil thing, but when I was a wee Wednes, he was the coolest guy around. He wore red, white and blue back when America's colors weren't just for rednecks and Bush supporters. It was a different time, when nobody cared about TV violence and Happy Days had not yet (literally) jumped the shark. And especially because Robbie Keneval is a pale, silly approximation of his father, Evel Keneval will be missed.

I totally watched that FOX special with Robbie Keneval a few years ago. It was supposed to be a live jump, but it wasn't. Because after he made the jump, he said a swear and it was edited out. Stupid cheater FOX and Robbie Keneval.

Anyway, in honor of Evel, I think we should all jump over something dangerous today. Maybe I'll light my wedding broom on fire and jump that...

I've been feeling pretty depressed lately over work and some other random things. I went in for EMDR yesterday to find that yet another member of Group has died...badly. The last time a girl died, she had gotten drunk and froze to death outside. This time the woman OD'd in her car, they think on purpose, and nobody found her for several days. You cannot conceive of how awful and depressing that is to me. Well, maybe you can. But it sucks.

I'm not at all excited for my shower, I just hope people show up so I'm not sitting here alone like a complete tool. I'm making a pineapple cake, and supposedly one of the girls from Group is doing the cooking. We shall see. We are doing the toilet paper wedding gowns, so that'll be fun. And there will be prizes.

JoJo got into the garbage that H left untied. So he ate some taco bell and part of a blood pressure pill yesterday. I have a feeling cleaning up cat puke is in my future. He can barely keep cat food down, let alone a meximelt. Stupid cat.

I'm on my way to work, where my secret work crush will be. I think I have sales training today or tomorrow, I forget which. And I also think I get Monday off for the "holiday". I'll likely use the occasion to grocery shop so I don't have to go on Sunday. I wish my review would hurry up and happen so I can find out how badly they think I'm doing. Not knowing is far worse than just dealing with something bad, I think.

I used to have a fish tank, a 20 tall to be exact. In it were some poisonous frogs, a fire newt, and some snails. Oddly enough, the snails were far and away the most interesting things in the tank. the frogs just sat there, and the newt, as it turned out, was trying to avoid being eaten by the frogs. BTW, never trust anyone who works for PetCo to know anything about the animals they sell.

Anywhoo, I gave the frogs et al to the nephew of a friend. The snail, name of Gary (ha), is now bigger than a human fist. I miss him, all big and yellow tooling around the tank.
Yesterday a buddy of mine without an LJ came over with a book for me. He said he was getting rid of his 5 gallon tank and the plants within. Perfect, I think, for storing a snail or two. So I have it. It's full of plants and water being filtered so that in a week or two, I can intriduce a yellow snail, and maybe a brown one. It's gonna be great.

In other aquatic news, Jimmy Hall, who was supposed to host Shark Week this year, won't be. Apparently he died base jumping. He only taped half of his Shark Week segments, so who knows how that'll work out.
As if that weren't freaky enough, Ken Doudt who wrote a best selling book about his own shark attack 20 some years ago, has drowned while surfing. This confirms my theory that being one of those outdoorsy people is a recipe for death. I knew it!

Reading over my recent journal entries has convinced me that I'm depressed enough to warrant taking a look at the meds I'm on. I'm seeing the doc this week to make him give me something (or maybe take away something) so I can feel a bit peppier, more alert, and less fucking depressed. This particular dark cloud has been here for over 2 months, which is far too long.

Let us all observe a moment of silence for my laptop battery, who despite being plugged in, has been at 0% for 2 days now. Sad times.

The only thing worse than hearing about a person freezing to death outside is hearing that it was someone you knew, liked, and respected.

Myself, I am a pretty staunch anti-drunkeness person.  I have a drink or two every now and again. But I have not known one single person in the history of time whose personality was improved by booze. Alcohol is also the most dangerous drug to detox from, more people die detoxing from alcohol than heroin and cocaine put together.

Did you also know that 90% of the alcohol sold in the US is sold to alcoholics?
This seems to suggest that only 10% of people are actually drinking responsibly like the commercials plead.
EDIT: Actually, not.  See comments below.


Anyway, a woman from my Group relapsed, got lost in the snow, and died in the middle of the damn city.
She was not yet 40 years old.
She could have gone to any number of people, myself included, for a place to crash, but her alcoholism simply would not allow her to take care of herself.   As you might imagine, I am both angry and sad.



In other news, I did not get over to see Christopher Moore at Borders today.
My hero, right here in town, and I didn't get to go say hi. 
That's also kind of a drag...

Which Hazel? got turned down by the publishing house I wrote it for. Mind you, they didn't ask me to write it, I just really thought they'd want it since I'm so great and Hazel is so great and blah blah blah. But they didn't. Which means that this particular house has actually turned me down twice (I sent them Sadie as well).

So...what does it actually mean when they say it "does not fit (their) publishing needs"?
It doesn't neccesarily mean I suck, does it? Or does it?
I doubt it. It probably means something more like "I don't know who you are or what this is, but we don't want to be bothered by your drivel" which at least means it's on them for not reading it.

Then again, Hazel is not really my best work. It's outside my genre of choice and was written for the purpose of being marketable. And it isn't, which I guess makes it a failure on many levels. Then again, even writing a shitty novel is probably good practice. Thankfully, the one I'm working on now is scarier, and much less shitty.

And now...to drown my sadness in a nice nap.
Later I'll get up, write, and maybe have a tuna melt.

I know I complain about America a lot. Things seem hopless here and have ever since the Devil's Handpuppet had his family steal an election for him. With everything that's going on, I have a lot of serious bitching to do. And in all that bitching, I sometimes forget how good we have it, in many ways.

Today for example, I was glad we didn't have to deal with this. Not yet anyway. So at the very least, we can be glad that people like Stewart and Colbert haven't been murdered on their way home from the grocery store.

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
wednes goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as zombie.
absinthofheart tricks you! You get a toothbrush.
chaodai gives you 3 brown coconut-flavoured gummy worms.
fflo gives you 8 dark green cola-flavoured pieces of taffy.
fyreangel gives you 16 milky white chocolate-flavoured gumdrops.
gusterize tricks you! You get a 3.5-inch floppy disc.
hulk_smashy gives you 18 dark blue banana-flavoured nuggets.
kissdbyagnome gives you 19 light yellow spearmint-flavoured gumdrops.
lickingtoad gives you 6 green pineapple-flavoured wafers.
maxverbosity tricks you! You lose 61 pieces of candy!
roane gives you 12 dark green grapefruit-flavoured gummy worms.
wednes ends up with 21 pieces of candy, a toothbrush, and a 3.5-inch floppy disc.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Note to self: Lorne is a JERK!!

But seriously folks, tonights big season premeire extravaganza was well worth waiting for. And in fact, I didn't have to wait very long because I had no idea that the new Simpsons season was going to be starting 2 months earlier than usual. So I had a few people over, and a good time was had by some. ;-]

The Simpsons featured Michael Imperioli and Joe Pantoliano as...well, mob guys out to get Fat Tony. It was delightful and funny and spoofed both Sopranos and Godfather. So you know, Squeeeee! People sometimes talk nonsense about The Simpsons not being funny or not being as funny as it used to be. Those people should probably add a sense of humor to their Amazon wish list. The holiday season is fast approaching.

American Dad was also serving up the parody love with a hilarious send-up of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolfe featuring Roger and Francine as the fake-baby-making-up couple. And that's only the secondary plot! Good stuff.
Family Guy was awesome as always, and still more parody ensued. This time, Peter accuses his doc of a The Accused style assault when in fact, he was giving him a prostate exam. Again, hilarious. Come to think of it though, I don't recall seeing Chris or Meg in the whole episode. I'm hoping this season will uncover the mystery of what ever became of Cleaveland Jr. Did he go the way of "Chuck" on Happy Days (or Donna's little sister on That 70's Show--for you youngsters)?
Who knows? Not me.

And Venture Bros was pretty funny too. No surprises there.


I posted a new short story over at wednes_writes which is much closer to the horror stuff I love so well. I kept telling myself to take a break from horror, but it's not really working out. Mostly it's giving me nightmares and putting me off my game.
In that vein, I'm hoping that by Monday I'll be able to turn on Animal Planet without feeling so goddamn sad. Steve Irwin's funeral was Saturday. His family turned down the offer of a State funeral, saying that he would have hated all that fuss. He is to be interred at Australia Zoo. Now I hope I can just watch my animal shows again without sad "commemorative" spots 4-6 times an hour.


Just to get it out of the way, I'll say a little something about the 5 year anniversary of 9/11:
I'll say that even though we've been supposedly beating the terrorists (whatever the hell THAT means) since this thing happened (and of course there are still scads and oodles of questions about how it happened and why that aren't being asked, let alone answered) confidence in our government has gotten steadily worse. Rights have been curtailed and citizens villianized unlike anything we've seen in this country since McCarthyism was rampant. People hate the US like never before, election results are being faked, and domestic issues are being badly bungled again and again and again. Gas prices are ridiculous, minumum wage is laughable, jobs are nowhere to be found, and more than half of our citizens can't even afford to see a doctor let alone pay for medication. Comedians are addressing government issues better and more honestly than journalists, and no one is doing anything to stop our own government from bold-face lying to us. Every effort is being made to legislate Christian morals and curtail rights of many minorities. And I still don't have a damn job.
And you know what? None of that is the fault of terrorists.

I woke up this morning to find this news printed by H, sitting on my desk And I was like Hey, is this for real, or is it a gag? And he assures me that it was for real.

The first time I saw Steve Irwin on TV, he jumped into the water from a tiny boat to remove this croc from the water. He finally got it onto this muddy bank, and Terri jumped on the back of the croc (he was on the front) and they didn't have anything to cover it's eyes with. So he told her to tear his shirt off. It was like croc-porn or something. I was embrassed to find it as arousing as I did, frankly. But I never missed an ep after that!

When H and I were really short on cash (because of me, why else) he didn't have much to spend on my birthday gift; so he got me this (the one with the snakes on it) because he knew how much I loved Steve Irwin. And even though this is shouldn't logically be a terrible, horrible shock, it actually is.

A sting ray? A Sting Ray?!?.
This guy has handled the ten deadliest snakes in the world. He swam with sharks, wrestled crocs, and has braved terrains I didn't even like looking at pictures of. And he starred in one of the worst non-horror movies I have ever seen. I can't beleive a stupid little barb is what ended his life. And he wasn't even ten years older than me.

I am pretty sad, even though my doll probably just quadrupled in value.

Steve Irwin probably taught me more about animals than Jacques Cousteau and Jack Hanna put together. Plus, he was nice to look at and really, really brave. I suppose one could say that he didn't respect the danger enough, or the animals enough. If he didn't have tiny kids, I'd say it's cool that he died doing what he loves best, and all is well with the universe.

Since he did, I'll just say "dang" and turn on some Animal Planet.

All internet humor aside, I am really bummed.
Luckily, I have plenty of Croc Hunter Croc Files on tape.

Edit: HA! I just looked to see if anyone else posted about this.
It seems that EVERYONE posted about it.
You people and your opinions...sheesh! (some of you guys are mean)