Whaddaya MEAN You've Never Heard of Me?!?

Was sick on Friday so they sent me home from the day-job early. Super tired and run down and sore. Saturday was homecoming at my alma mater, wherein I was welcomed:


Had to leave Ann Arbor by 8am to arrive nearly by 9:30am. The alumni ass-kissing was exceptional. Tons of students and staff checking in to make sure I was comfortable, if I needed anything, and then just asking me stuff about writing and getting published. As usual, my assistant was awesome. She even wrote down all the things I was agreeing "to do sometime, no rush" so I wouldn't forget. I ought to have her start writing down the names of people I met; I swear I don't remember half of them--which sucks because everyone always remembers my name.

Anyway, there were lots of people I was delighted to see, including one of the few professors I love who are still on campus.


Hung out at the house for a bit. For those who don't know, "the house" refers to the home of Alpha Lambda Epsilon which is where I pledged when I was a student. If you think pledging is only for assholes, it's because you've not met the fine men and women (Yup, co-ed house) of ALE.

Every pledge class makes a plaque with their names on it, a motto or phrase that reminds one of the pledging experience. As it happens, I designed, carved and painted out plaque, except for the names. I used to be quite handy with a set of tools.


If you're wondering what that bizzarre series of letters is after my name, it's the second name I had as a kid--technically belonging to my dear mater's second husband. It's also the name I used for the longest...so far. We'll just see how long I live. *snerk*

And finally, here's me and NYT best selling author Scott Sigler, who is more famous than me...and still a damn nice guy. It was nice to see him, and to sell more books than he did--because he didn't bring any. Ha!


Even though the party went on until well after 9pm, we left before 3pm because I was feeling so damn sick and tired. Everybody talked about how happy I seemed, and how happy they were for me. Then one of my sisters came out this way and crashed at my place. Somehow, it never occurred to me to take a pic of her. Ultimately, I had a nice time and sold enough books that I didn't lose any money on the trip.

Woke up this morning with a completely empty humidifier dish in Ye Olde CPAPe. As such, I had no voice whatsoever. Sucks too, since I was kind of awake at 6am. Drank a bunch of tea and went back to bed on heavy humidity. 5 hours later I'm feeling okay and can talk, though the high notes may not be back until later.

Finally, This is my favorite song at the moment.

Had a pretty busy week of visiting and socializing and doing work stuff. My dear friend Miss Grete was in town last week, so we hung out Saturday and then again on Weds. Had an awesome time.
Last night an old college classmate came by for a visit. Considering how nervous I get when I hang out with churchy types, it was a fun visit. I have, as you might imagine, a very poorly calibrated filter for what I say or do NOT say. I seem to have 2 settings: work, and free-for-all. That doesn't always sit well with religious types seeing as how part of my background inner-monologue is that we'd all get along better if we didn't blame our weaknesses or bigotries on supernatural shit. Last night, for example, I asserted that if somebody is Christian, they should at least be aware that the men who wrote the gospels did not live at the same time as Jesus. Sadly, the person I was with had learned it differently.
D'oh. But I digress.

This weeks ZZN interview was with the guys at Zombie go Boom! which is an awesome mythbusters-style YouTube series testing out different anti-zombie weaponry. Good stuff!

Today I'm at the day-job until 5pm. Then home to make a quiche with a mashed potato crust. I've never done a potato crust before, but one of tonight's guests can't have white flour. I also have to change the catbox before everybody arrives. Tonight's party is for one of my coworkers who is moving to London soon. If I don't make him a nice party, he might not send me anything cool from merry old England. LOL Considering how many friends and fans I have out that way, it's kinda surprising that I don't get more stuff. ;-]

Speaking of stuff. Me wantee Kindle. In fact, I'm sick to death of not having one, and am boycotting the buying of giant books until I get one. Hear THAT, George RR Martin? How about YOU, Stephen King? I have a hardcover of Under the Dome, but trying to read it exacerbates my carpal tunnel. Kindles are cheap now; about $140 for one that isn't constantly running ads. And there are TONS of free classics I am dying to read. Hello Project Gutenberg!!!

Wrote another article for Associated Content. People seem to like it, but I'm still not sure how to get strangers to find it, see it, read it, etc. It doesn't do me much good to write awesome articles that are only seen by a couple hundred of my closest friends. Applied for another writing gig, then did some research and found out that tons of writers complained about not getting paid. I need a writing gig that would actually allow me to quit this gig.
No dice.

A note about the Economy: Bill Clinton left office with a record budget surplus.
A RECORD. BUDGET. SURPLUS.
Dub-ya raised the debt ceiling 8 times to fund his crazy-pants, they-tried-to-kill-my-Daaaaaaaaaaddy war.
But somehow the current debt crisis is the fault of Obama?
Really?
Can anyone explain this mindset?
Anyone?
Bueller?

And finally, Livejournal, you suck. Could you at least wait until this latest DDOS attack is under control before telling me (again) how much I might enjoy a paid account?
I'm not paying you another damn dime, LJ. You've ruined yourself worse than Mtv.
Okay, I take that back. LJ is not as bad as Mtv, but it's still ruined.

And no, I'm not talking about Rik Mayall's unfortunately cut character in the Harry Potter movies. No...I'm talking about the things that other human beings do and say that make me think they should be the first to go when out Ape Masters reclaim the planet.

#1. Cut-and-paste status updates. If you can't bother to come up with your own sentence that succinctly explains your feelings on an issue--you can't possibly know much about it. So, plz, STFU.

#2. Knee-jerk reactions to complex issues. The sex offender registry does not keep anyone safe. Humiliating your kids in public does not teach them a lesson (unless the lesson is, my parents are douchebags). Mosques (and other places of worship) should be left the hell alone unless they are being used as sanctuary for law breakers. And please, I beg of you, stop trying to make your silly-billy, centuries-old church doctrine the law of the land--or if you must insist, please do not cherry pick which versus you love to follow. Anyone who thinks we should all live by the bible will not have my attention until they sell all their belongings and give the money to the poor as the bible commands.

#3. Saying songs on GLEE are better than the originals. Stop it. Just, stop it. While I have no quarrel with remakes per se, they have to bring something pretty spectacular to the party to make them better than the original when said original was completely new.

#4. Writers who don't read.

#5. The idea that asking for facts to back up a statement is mean, biased, or otherwise rude. Don't say stupid shit if you can't back it up with logic and/or facts.

#6. The idea that our entire economy should be based on the idea that some people are lazy slobs and we need to make sure they don't get anything they don't deserve. Some people are also money grubbing assholes. We could use a system that doesn't give the richest 400 people in the US more money than everybody else put together--then maybe some people wouldn't feel so hopeless that they don't even try.

#7. "What ever happened to loyalty to one's company???" It went out the fucking window when people lost jobs, pensions, pay, benefits, so that CEO's could further line their pockets. Any business owner who wonders where loyalty is needs to look at who they hire and the way that they treat them. Owners who treat employees well are more likely to inspire loyalty than those who say "You should feel lucky just to be working."

#8. The Smurfs movie. Smurfs in New York? Fuck you. Seriously.

#9. Anyone who did not RSVP to Saturday night's gathering. It's tomorrow, you slags. And I don't drive. Might have been nice to know how much food to make while I still had time to go to the store. (Chris Schwab is excused since I inadvertently left him off the invite list--sorry darling)

#10. Medical bills. One thing people don't seem to mention when discussing health care is that we have a system that allows regular (read: uninsured) people to be charged upwards of $400 a month for a single prescription, and nearly $2,000 for an emergency visit). How anyone can look at a fact like that and respond with "Hey, it's not my job to pay for other people's pills" instead of realizing that the whole system is broken--it's truly beyond me. Insurance companies have ruined medical care in this country. Just as TV news should not have commercials, insurance should not be a for-profit business.

#11. This annoying chick at my work. God DAMN she's annoying. Whiny voice. Unfunny jokes. No sense of what's going on in the world. Plus, I have this inner block wherein I am instantly disdainful of anyone who tries to win my approval. As Nelson Muntz would say: You WOULD like me, Loser!!

#12. SDCC. I hate it because I'm not there. But if I was there, I'd probably have a shitty time. I hate heat, crowds, and standing still for hours on end.


On a completely unrelated topic, have any of you ever hired a marketing service? How did it work out? How much should I be paying, and what should I be getting for it? Do they really do things I couldn't do myself? My SEO skills are for shit, and my site needs some tweaking.

Drawn by the lovely and talented Alex Heberling at BODYSLAM!

I have been told that my faith is not a "religion" because I don't actually worship anything. IMO, religion is supposed to act as a guideline to help me figure out moral and emotional quandaries. It has little if anything to do with kneeling and pretending I'm not as important as a (to quote flemco boogums in the sky. That is why I am, first and foremost, a follower of Crowley, and Thelema's first law:

Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

Not ten rules, not 3-fold this or that, no jumping through sacramental hoops to reach the finish line and make it past the big gates. It's very simple, decide what kind of person you want to be. Then aspire, every day of your life, to be that person. I do my best to follow this rule, and typically it leads to me having a good life, and/or feeling pretty good about the life I have.

Example: I have to work with someone I don't like. They drive me nuts. Not that bright, not especially kind or interesting, personable, or engaging. I had been cold to this person, willfully ignoring them--thinking that I was protecting myself from having to be annoyed. But really, the fact that I don't like someone does NOT relieve me of my responsibility to be a kind person. Bummer, since I'm really good at being bitchy and it's kinda fun. Sure enough, when I stopped being rude to them, I felt better. This is not just because I was taking the so-called high road; but because I don't want to be mean--if for no other reason than I hate it when bitches are mean to me.

Second thought for the day: I am really really good at knowing just what to say in a given situation. Great with words, getting my point across, and leading people to where I want them to be.
Why then, do I have no fucking idea when to keep my fool mouth shut? I have always been terrible about saying too much, being too honest, or just plain blabbing shit that is best kept private. I recognized this about myself over 20 years ago, yet I've made basically no headway.
Yeah...it's a puzzlement.

Leslie Neilsen died, which if you're on the Internets, you probably already know. Sad, as I recently wrote an article about Creepshow for Zombie Zone News. He didn't even get a chance to comment on it. Frown.

My 40th birthday party was wicked awesome. I'd love to regale you with pics, stories, and tales of all the awesome people, gifts, foodstuffs, drinkables, and etc that went down. However, my corpal tunnel is out of freakin' control. Despite wearing my braces religiously, it hurts to type. In fact, the only really comfortable position for my hands is curled into a loose fist. Also, my pinkie fingers occasionally go numb even if I'm just resting my hands. Need to get an ergo keyboard for my laptop immediately. I am terrified of hand surgery, and tend to freak out about medical shit long before my doctor actually tells me what's going on. Seeing the doc on Weds. I'm so worried, I'm going at 9:25am instead of waiting a week.

The party was awesome though. All the food turned out great. It was our largest crowd ever, with many of my favorite peeps in attendance. Some came from far and wide just to be there. I got some beautiful gifts-- like a cool dream-catcher, a thing or two off my wish list, some lovely and/or hilarious cards. The outpouring of genuine affection was indescribably amazing. I'm not one to use the word blessed, so I'll just say I am fucking lucky. Here is me and just one of the incredible gifts I got:



Also had no voice to speak of *heh* when I woke up. After drinking tea all day, it's a bit better. So I'll have to go to work tomorrow, unlike today.

This sucks. It's one of those Monday mornings that shows up and you're like Really? But I didn't even get a weekend! I was at work Friday and Saturday; Sunday I was up by 9am so we could grocery shop in time for me to come home and cook a nice meal for my brother--who visited yesterday. People over all day Sunday, no time to relax much less get any work done. Taking a break from the podcast for the month of November, I think. Perilously close to burnout and will be doing the NaNoWriMo again. Might even post a short story this week since I'm so short on both energy and time.

Working all day today AND tomorrow. Training today, which means nonstop talking and being annoyed and frustrated all afternoon. *sigh* Plus I bought new band-aids to cover up this grossness on my forehead. They are too big and I have to get new ones--which means an extra trip to the store. Sometimes I actually wish I *could* drive. Life would be much simpler.

It was good seeing my bro, as always. Our conversations remain fairly superficial, which is not what I'd prefer--but dealing with those Private types has never been my strong suit.

JoJo is basically back to his old, terrible self. He still needs to put on more weight; but his personality is back and none of his wounds got infected. We are also past the danger time for rabies--so he appears to be free of that as well. Thank Bastet for small favors!

Still no sign of JoJo. My neighbors thought they saw him, but there is actually another black cat running around the complex without a collar. I suspect that's who's been eating the food I've been leaving out. I am sad, and quickly running out of hope. He's been gone since Monday night. It's freakin' Friday now. I can't stop thinking that something terrible has happened to him even though I know it's just as likely that he's out there having a swell old time. Fucker.
Everyone I know has a story about a cat being gone a long-ass time and coming home once all hope was lost. I imagine they all also know 3 or 4 stories when a cat runs away, never to be seen or heard from again. I will presume he was taken in by a new family if I don't ever hear anything. I've called all the vets and shelters in the area, and have an ad on Criagslist and a few local places. Plus I put a ton of flyers on people's cars.

Going out of town tomorrow for a book signing at my alma mater, Olivet College. I haven't been on campus in, I think, about 10 years. Maybe a bit less. Facebook keeps me in touch with several classmates, some of whom I'm stoked to see this weekend. Plus I'm hoping to sell a lot of books, hype the podcast, and get people fired up for my big Kindle release at the end of the month. We're leaving A2 at 6:30am in the hopes of being there by about 8:30. We'll be hanging out at Longman House for a bit--I predict we'll split outta there early as my assistant will not really know anyone.

Just found out that the anthology I'm in is going to be available in hardcover. Fancy! I don't expect any of you to pony up $23 for a hardcover book just to read one of my short stories--but you should feel free to do that if you want to. The publisher on this is a pretty nice guy.

Finished season 4 of Dexter and hope to catch up on season 5 this Weds. Whoa, you think it's gonna be the same formula they've been doing all along--and then BAM! A thing happens. I can honestly say that while it was logical and utterly plausible, it was totally unexpected.

New South Park. Meh.
We also gave up on The Event. We decided we just didn't care.
Caprica premiere was great though. It's a really strong show.

Holiday shopping is underway. H is getting some kickass stuff once again this year. I know people rail on about making the holiday too commercial, but it is well established that I think it's fun to buy cool gifts for people I like. I also enjoy baking food and giving it away. So there.

Despite the fact that I haven't posted in a week, I really do enjoy having a Livejournal. I started this thing in 2002 (with an invite code--'member those?) at the persistent insistence of my dear friend uterdic. It was great fun then, and slowly more and more of my friends made their way over here, making it even more fun. I started joining comms and meeting more people, and before I knew it, I'd met a great many people here who I've become actual friends with. There's an even larger circle of people I'll probably never hang out with in RL, but whom I love keeping up with.

Whenever I, or my cats, needed something, Lj peeps were there. You guys shared in my sorrow when I lost my job, and when I lost Clarence. You shared in my happiness when I got married, and got published. You followed the saga with my family that continued with me actually having a relationship with various family members. I can honestly say without fluffly, wanky drama, that I really do love and admire a great many of you. (This is one of those rare cases when I probably AM talking about you *snerk*)

So it is with heavy heart that I announce (I opted to forgo the press conference) that am packing up this thing and moving to Dreamwidth. I will probably feed some unlocked posts over here. I cannot allow my locked posts to run the risk of ending up on Facebook, or worse yet...turned into *gak* Tweets. I plan to stop by and read the half dozen or so of you staying here, but this place is a freakin' ghost town anyway. I'm not giving another penny of my dough to a company that doesn't give a rat's ass about my privacy. True, internet privacy is an oxymoron, but if I can't at least pretend that my secrets are safe, I won't be able to sleep at night.


In other news, I'm battling my social anxiety by going to a party tonight where I will ONLY know the hosts. Someone I've never met before (a friend of the hostess)is giving me a ride. Many people don't know how terrifying I find many social situations because I'm usually the one having the party. I'm fine in my own element, but take me out of it and surround me with strangers--it's a recipe for intense nervousness and being downright ascared.
So...you know, wish me luck with all of that.

Because if you do, this may be the funniest thing you've ever seen.
My good buddy uterdic hipped me to this, and I'm telling everyone in the whole world.

Be sure to let it load all the way, because if it stops to buffer you may miss some of the genius.



You're welcome.



In the mean time, Criminal Minds is an enormous time burglar. I'll be going to bed early tonight so I can get up at a reasonable hour and get some podcast editing done tomorrow.

Hoping to go see my friend from work in a marimba recital at U of M. Not sure if I'll get to go as I may not have a ride. But I'm hoping so since this guy is both great personally and talented musically. Plus, he's a Simpsons fan.

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Many of you will recall that I met H on the Internets in June of 1999. I had been using various dating site, and before that, I even met a few people through the MetroTimes in like 1993-1995. This was difficult for me. Typically I'd have a few great conversations with someone, then agree to meet them. They'd see that I was fat, and I'd never hear back. Several people were outright rude about it. One guy named Terry, I actually dated a few times. Things were going reasonably well until I had a crazy manic upswing that ended up lasting almost 6 months. By the time it was over, he had met another woman and gotten married. Too bad too, he was my first nerd boyfriend and a nice guy. Sadly, I was the mythological psycho-ex. Then I got over it.

After the drunken dairy farmer and I broke up in 1997, I swore off dating for about 9 months or so. Then, I got back on the Internets. I wanted to figure out a way to let men know I was fat in a time when only wealthy people had digital cameras. I was still using a freakin' Polaroid in 1998. Still, I had a few ads in a few different places, and met a few interesting people but nothing stuck. Then, to my great joy, I found a site called Generous.net. It was for fat people, and people who admired fat people. That's when I learned about BBW's and that there were lots of people who didn't think it was a crime against god and nature to be overweight. Divorced men in particular were more focused on personality, presumably having married for looks and ending up with an evil bitch.

H and I traded Emails for several weeks. He was neat, funny and smart. I can recall hearing from him and then checking to see if he was from the fat girl site or some other site. I was delighted to learn that he was from the fat girl site. Yay! Then we met and 8 short years later, we got married.

Overall, I don't think the Internet has a profound effect on how superficial people are. Some people still demand a photo upfront, and choose people to contact by a photo first and formost. Others really want to meet people they're compatible with almost regardless of looks. Everybody seems to say in re: dating that they "aren't asking so much," not realizing that compatibility is really tricky and that their laundry list of required traits may not match any one person anywhere on the planet. Superficial people will remain so until they learn the hard life-lesson that looks are trivial and mostly based on luck. Then again, not everyone is looking for a mutually gratifying partnership based on love. Some people just want a trophy to dangle on their arm, and they're perfectly happy to trade up to a new one every couple of years.


In other news, I'm having a very difficult time getting motivated to do all the stuff I need to. Should have sent out press packets this morning, but didn't. Sent out a couple of businessy Emails yesterday but haven't heard back from anyone yet. Feeling that kind of stress where I feel paralyzed to pull myself out of it and just get some shit done. Got an Email yesterday from a guy I promised to write a review for just as soon as I was done with the Vampire Ball. Oops. So now I have to do that by the end of the week. At least that book will not be terrible, like some of the tripe I've agreed to review.
Oh, and I need to get some professional reviews of my own book lined up. I'm really behind of everything and that still isn't enough pressure to get me to focus. Frown.

In better news, I got some more Peanut butter and jelly ice cream at the store yesterday. Mmmmmm.

I had a party for New Year's Eve--just like always.
And just like always, I'm posting pics as proof that I have friends! ;-]


( See more under here ) It was a delightful affair. There was a strawberry shortcake trifle that I forgot to get a picture of. I think Jay took one though, so I may be able to post it eventually. There is a lot left, but it's not really ready for its closeup anymore. There is also a fair amount of yummy salsa. I will probably turn that into chili after we go shopping. We had a few first timers at the party, including some coworkers, local freelance writer sarah_michigan who arrived with her husband, and a guy named Doug who had the best laugh ever. Absolutely making my night, as the arrival of the_hula which was utterly delightful, as I had not seen her since my wedding. There were a few MadLibs, some Simpsons Scene it! and plenty of music, foodstuffs, and stimulating conversation. No fighting and nobody got sloppy drunk, so that was all good. I was hoping to introduce Sarah to some of my writer friends, but none of them actually showed up. Fie! Okay, it's the new year. So it's totally time for me to get back to working on writer things. If you want to interview me, review my book, or book me for a reading or signing, now's your chance. Get in touch with me before my dance card is full. Okay, my dance card will probably not fill up, but you should still get in touch with me anyway! Feliz Ano Nuevo kids!

2010 Wall of Tidings. You'll notice that my stocking (below) has an asterisk. That's because my gift didn't fit in it. The gift was in the fridge, also with an asterisk.

Bre took this pic of me and H hugging.

So...Christmas happened.

H and I exchanged some great gifts and had a nice meal. H got me some Godiva (that he got from the mall on Xmas eve because he is awesome), a laptop riser which I totally needed, and a cool digital frame. I got him a sour candy kit (with lots of extra flavors and acids), pajamas, a DVD and the book Shutter Island which I am also into reading myself.
We tend to pick up strays around the holidays, and this year was no exception. Sara, joined us for dinner of Alfredo pasta (Yummers!) and we also went to visit Cindy. Happily, Cindy refrained from any racist comments and didn't start talking about death and gloom for 45 whole minutes. Then, we left. I gave Cindy a few dozen cookies, and Sara the first Brian Froud Faerie book and a pendant featuring same. So that was nice. I love it when gifts I give are a big hit.

For whatever reason, I'm in this space where I'm fed up with doing things for people because I don't think they appreicate anything. I'm fed up with selecting and buying nice gifts for people who can't even come up with a handmade card. I grow weary of shopping and cooking for parties that people bitch about before they even start. If I take the time to make you a cookie bag, don't tell me you're giving it away because you got too many cookies--especially if you can't be bothered to bring US any cookies.
Being that the holidays are almost over, I'm looking forward to locking myself in my apartment and concentrating on doing writer things and marketing things and other stuff that only I will have control over. I need to line up some reviews for the new book, and I need to get writing on the zombies. Mmmm...zombies.

JoJo woke me up no less than 3 times last night. We have this whole system in place so that air can circulate into our bedroom so H and I can be less cold and sick. But JoJo kept busting through the barrier and pestering me to pet him. Good thing for him he's so damn irresistable.

Didn't get to see sudrin which was a total bummer. Fed Ex'd him a few dozen cookies that will arrive tomorrow. Apparently we're going to get something from H's grandparents, and maybe his parents too. Not sure yet, but we've been told to watch the mail. My friend in Afghanistan sent me an awesome scarf, and a cool censor with a sacred cow carved on it. It's nifty.

Tonight: tacos and spicy rice. Mmmmmmm...

I still haven't made my way through the manual for my new TV. I've read through most of how to work my H2 recorder, and a bit about how to setup the new cable box and DVR thingy. I'm feeling pretty high tech as of late. I haven't figured everything out, but it's coming right along.
To add to my tech-confusion, I'm trying out Google Chrome and getting a new phone tomorrow. We're switching to a new phone company called Credo. They are supposed to be non-evil and with better reception than those punks at AT&T. We shall see.

Went to see Precious today at Showcase. There was a group of stereotypical Ann Arbor liberals who came in late, giggling and talking (mind you, these women were at least 15 years older than me). It was damn annoying, but at least they shut up during the film. The movie was produced by Oprah and Tyler Perry. It was hardcore with a pretty fierce sense of truthiness. I think the ending was meant to be hopeful, but I'm not sure I agree. I applaud a woman taking control over her life, but with all the evil that was foisted upon her, it's tough to imagine she'll ever be "alright." Great performances all around, but a pretty tough watch as the subject matter is heavy and supremely distasteful.
Got one of those "Coming Attractions" flyers at the movie. Found out that Jerry Bruckheimer is producing a live-action version of Disney's The Sorcerer's Apprentice starring Nicholas Cage. The director is quoted as saying "This film has spectacle!" Translation: this will be a vacuous pile of shit. I'm not what one would call a major Disney fan. But I do enjoy Fantasia, and I resent it being turned into a product. Dammit.

In case you missed Colbert tonight, here's a lovely pic of the Krampus:
He's a mensch, that one. Why more kids don't know about him is a mystery to me. He's certainly in line with the old school Grimm's wicked children shall be punished philosophy of discipline. It's certainly no more hideous and nightmare inducing than the concept of say, Original Sin.

New Year's Eve Party to welcome 2010 is a go!! Turns out, my work is closed on New Years Day so I'm good for an all-nighter if necessary. I'll make some yummy food and we'll do all the usual stuff. By popular demand, there will be NO CIGARRETTE SMOKING in common areas. These include the living room, and kitchen, with H's office being off-limits to party guests. 420 in the back bedroom only.

I got am awesome giant envelope from gifgal full of those catalogs they put in hotels in Vegas so you can pick out which prostitute you want to be at your room in 20 minutes. We also got the beautiful card. So many thanks to her.

Was supposed to start baking cookies today. Ended up doing other stuff. Have to get going on it this weekend.

And finally, my carpal tunnel is not getting better yet. I got a second set of double-secret-super braces to wear at night. Wish me luck!

( Here are a couple of pics from my birthday party. This is by no means everyone who was there, more of a random sampling. )

As you all know, I had a birthday recently. People were very generous; lots and lots of friends sent beautiful cards, thoughtful gifts, and heartfelt well wishes. That kind of thing makes me want to use an expression I never EVER use: it makes me feel blessed.
The party included a bunch of my co-workers, with whom I am just beginning to hang out with socially. I like a lot of them very much, which I do say pretty often around here. Also, the guy I had a crush on in junior high was able to come. We've reconnected via Facebook. He turned out to be a really neat guy. We disagree on political stuff--but respectfully. He's conservative, but he's not a loon. It's kinda cool.
I got a new TV for my birthday from that one friend I have who enjoys giving extravagant gifts. When I'm online shopping I often think Damn, if I was rich, I'd buy this for so-and-so. This friend is able to actually do some of that stuff. So now I have a 40" HD TV. It's rad. I need to read the manual, it's kinda huge.

I'm almost done holiday shopping. Just waiting for a new more gifts to arrive. I've never been done before Black Friday before. So that's neat. The holiday baking with begin soon.

I have until Sunday night to give my publisher the final revisions on the galley for Kiss Me Like you Love Me. I love the hell out of that book. I want it perfect. So one more going over should do it. I'm going to send it to myself so I can look over it at work. I'm working both Friday and Saturday, which is going to be really busy and sucky, I predict.

Sadly, my high school frienemy sith_lord died just after midnight on my birthday. It is a terribly sad story. ( I'll keep it short ) As if that wasn't shitty enough, my other frienemy, Cindy, has just been told that her COPD is "end stage." So she will almost certainly die within the year.

H's mom is sending me the memory card and card reader for the Zoom H2 Recorder I've been wanting forever. So...I decided I'd go ahead and buy myself one. I got it way cheap on amazon (almost $60 less than people who sell them locally) with free shipping. So it will be here in a week or two. Yay!

I gave up on V. I just didn't like it very much. Big Love is coming back in January. I have to rewatch Season one of Tru Blood so I can rerecord it. Hopefully they'll put it back On Demand soon. I have no idea who has my copy of season one (not to mention my Masterpiece Theater version of Jane Eyre) and it looks like at this point that I won't be getting them back. The Jane Eyre was a gift, so that sucks. From now on, everyone signs stuff out.

Tomorrow, chicken and stuffing, green bean casserole and good company. Yay!

Because I'm totally menstrual, everyone and their dumbass kid is getting on my nerves this week. ( Work is extra extra annoying. ) Okay, end rant.

Only three more paychecks until "the holidays." And of course, H's birthday is only 5 days before Christmas, so that makes it extra stressful and tough. Most of my local peeps are getting baked goods and stuff. Plus H and I will likely do another fanciful card for the delight of everyone we know. Not sure what I'm getting H. I tend to get him some kind of clothes, some kind of sour candy, some sort of DVD or game, and some Onion books. We set a cap this year of $40, $40, and $40 (birthday, Xmas, stocking) so we'll see how that goes.

Shopping for my birthday party tomorrow. It's the glorious return of Mexican Dip (layer of spicy beans, layer of creamy guac, layer of extra spicy rice, then cheese on top) and the expected pineapple bundt cake I do for almost every party. Plus a nutella pastry and some of my famous spinach dip. That will all be lots of fun. Of course I do have an Amazon wish list which you can find under "Wednes" or "Wednesday Lee Friday: author, A Stabbing for Sadie" if you are really interested. Gifts are, of course, not required or even expected. But people always ask.

I am going to finish this poetry challenge if it kills me, and it may.

My so-called friend who's been being a dick to me still hasn't called to apologize. Frankly, if he wants to trash a 15 year friendship because I don't Tweet or let other people tell me who my friends should be, well that's just stupid. I know better than most people that bi-polar disorder can lead one into doing and saying things they later feel like an ass for. But I also know that all you really have to do is own up to it, apologize, and try to be more aware of your own bullshit next time around. It's not that difficult, but you do need to grow the fuck up.

The Tale of the Vampire Ball, by Wednes
(this will be a poem, but not right this minute)

( I'm cutting this for length, potential boringness, and many grainy pics of Voltaire. ) In case you were curious, Voltaire dresses to the right.

So yeah, that's the broad strokes of it. My Tio's is here, so I shall close. And just so I've said it, I'm hearby coining the phrase *EPIC SQUEEE*

I don't really do bar nights anymore. Maybe three times since I met H in '99. But this was way far fun. Thanks to H for the tickets. I won a door prize of a Vampire Romance novel, a zillion assorted bookmarks, and a button that says "Strangely Beautiful" which is going on my hoodie. yay!

Okay, one more:

They: *something controversial online*

Me: "I see. How come?"

They: *something I don't agree with*

Me: "Oh. Well, I don't agree. I think *my thoughts on the subject*"

They: "Oh you *group of people with whose philosophy they disagree* You never respect other people's right to free speech. You always have to argue!"

Me: "Admittedly, I love to have sociopolitical debates. And I do respect your freedom of speech. By all means, say whatever you want. But understand that freedom of speech is for everyone. If you say something as outrageous as *thing* you can't expect people not to respond."

They: "Whatever. I didn't want this to turn into a whole thing. I don't feel like discussing it."

Me: "Then why the fuck did you post about it on the Internet?"

Fin.

LOL, I think I might count this post as a poem. ;-]

For some reason I'm just now getting around to posting that I went to the midnight show for Harry Potter 6 on Tuesday. Fandom was, as expected, ridiculous and absurd. The little kids were the most well-behaved, their parents were the worst, and silly teens in "sexy" Hogwarts uniforms cracked me up. Oh Fandom, you embarass yourself and me.

( Anyway, I thought... )

Made a rather depressing realization about my personal life. When I was younger and in the dating scene I had a serious issue with proactivity. If I decided the person I was dating was unsuitable for me, I would never do the breaking up. Instead, I would just stop caring what the person thought of me, and treated them accordingly. When they broke up with me, I could then pretend that I was being victimized. Apparently this is a pretty common pattern among survivors of abuse.
I was disappointed to become aware that I repeated this same pattern with a person I was in a supposed friendship with. Rather than being clear about saying I don't like you. I don't enjoy your company. I'd rather not interact with you unless I have to. I bascially reverted to what I'd call "not putting up with their shit." This translates to me not being remotely respectful of the fact that the person I don't like has feelings. I thought that I had progressed beyond that kind of passive aggresive game playing. Apparently not. So yeah...that was a bummer. On the plus side, the situation exploded and now I don't have to pretend not to dislike anyone anymore.

Went out of town this past weekend. Got a bit of writing done, about a chapter and a half. Have a bit more work to do on the novel, of course, but as I keep saying it's moving right along. I'm working a short day tomorrow, then off on Weds so it should be easy for me to get lots written this week.

Lately I've been thinking about relationships and how I need to be better at setting limits and determining where my boundaries are. I've been feeling quite taken advantage of lately with one thing or another. I also think I've been putting up with far too much nonsense and shenanigans--the kind of stuff that leaves me feeling angry, frustrated, or depressed. As such, I'm making some moves to cut those influences out of my life.
I guess part of it is that I am "surprised" when I get treated in a disrespectful manner by people, mainly because I'm a pretty good kid and am pretty respectful in most situations. So I'm baffled when someone treats me like a maid, a cash-machine, or some kind of personal assistant--especially when the people in question aren't doing shit to help themselves or better their own situation. I want to be helpful and be a good friend, but not at the cost of my own emotional well-being. Point is, I shouldn't be surprised, because none of this is new news.
Myself, I grew up with lots of interesting problems and issues. As I grew older, I spent over 10 years trying to get a proper diagnosis, proper meds, and therapy that would actually help me recognize some things and be a better person. It's a long struggle but I'm pleased for the most part with where it has all gone. So it really galls me when people don't want to do any of the emotional work and just expect everyone else to rearrange their lives to accommodate someone who patently refuses to examine their own behavior. Okay, end rant.

I've been downloading some Season Five eps of LOST. Now I can see The Smoke Monster let Ben live whenever I want. Sweet! I'm also going to watch the Season Five Finale 20 or 30 times until I understand exactly how Ben got so duped. Poor Ben, he has such a terrible time of things. It seems that like most people, all Ben really wants is to be valued. No matter what he does, he can't get the validation he's so sure he deserves. Sad.
Now I have a whole bunch of Michael Emerson on my iPod. 6 Practice eps, 7 LOST eps, and an audiobook of Four Blind Mice which he co-narrates. There's another book on tape he reads but I can't find it for free and I certainly can't afford it right now.

Yahoo! just took it upon itself to delete everything in my inbox. So if you've sent me and Email and are wondering why I haven't responded, that's why. How damn annoying. I had a bunch of Emails in there too.

I had another LOST comment I thought of: if Richard Alpert does turn out to be an ancient Egyptian, wouldn't that totally explain the eyeliner? Ha! It would!

Still quite congested and coughsome. Slowly getting better though.

Went to IHOP for lunch (spinach omelette) with a former co-worker. She's a nice lady, the kind that has a zillion stories to tell. I'm off today since I have to work tomorrow. Plan is to take a short nap and get up and get some writing done. I may even be able to get some writing done at work tomorrow too. Depends on whether or not we're busy.

Wanted to get my hands on Season Five of The Practice. That is, of course, the season that features William Hinks. Michael Emerson won his first Emmy for playing that role; and he was superb. Anyway, no luck yet. Maybe I'll check out Hulu.

My plan to read less news and political crap is not going to well. Ignorant people will insist on drawing me into arguments I can't believe I'm having in contemporary America. For the point of clearness, here are a few facts:

1. Other than the fact that he is charismatic and leading a country through dark times, Obama is not like Hitler. If you think he is, you are a fucking idiot.

2. Gay marriage is not hurting The Family, our values, or our children. The assertion that gays should instead marry people of the opposite gender is ludicrous and nonsensical and in fact WOULD be an affront to marriage.

3. Islam is no more violent or repressive than Christianity, historically. To imply that Islam is wicked and evil and that Christianity is great and good is a product of being either grossly uninformed or a hypocrite of the highest order.

4. It is not weakness to show manners and respect toward foreign leaders.

5. It is not Un-American to imply that America has shown arrogance. If you honestly don't see how we have been arrogant as a nation, you are part of the problem.

And none too pleased about it. Feeling kind of sickly, couldn't keep a granola bar down this morning. Hopefully I'll start feeling better as the day goes on. Sometimes if I push myself a bit, I can force myself into keeping the sick at baY. We are going to be crazy busy with returns and complaints. So I need to have my figurative customer-service hat on.

My chocolate cherry chip cookies came out great. For some reason, the dough didn't firm up, so it was more like batter. As such, I baked them in a pyrex casserole, more like brownies than cookies. Then I sliced them and brought them in to work. They are damn tasty. I used Alton Brown's Puffy recipe, added almond extract and tart cherries (thoroughly drained) from a can. YUM!
Too bad I can't watch AB anymore because he's a fat-hating jerk-ass.

We got some fancy salsas that we'll be serving on NYE. One is pineapple, the other is peach. I love serving fancy pants gourmet food to peeps. Somebody will need to bring corn chips. I'm looking at you, lickingtoad.

Having friends over for Xbox Scene It! and maybe some Lips tonight. That should be excellent fun.

I made us tilapia with peach compote this week. I wasn't sure if H would eat it or not, his not being very culinarily adventurous. But he ate it, and liked it. It was pretty spicy, nice and hot which is how he likes stuff. So that was nice. I always enjoy trying out new dishes I made up.

H sent out the first batch of cookies and breads to family. He sent a package to his Mom's fam, his grandparents, and my brother Mark and his wife. I made my brother and his wife some hats as well. Saturday we're sending stuff to H's Dad and to my Aunt and her family. I figured out the right amount of extract to use, though grinding the cinnamon on a microplane myself is a hassle. Next year I'm buying the ground stuff.

Made a hat for my Secret Santa person at work. Since she is a Harry Potter fan, I'm also going to copy her all the audiobooks on a couple of CD's. That should be a wonderful gift.

As for New Years Eve, it's gonna be a small, intimate gathering I think. Only about 5 people have confirmed, and the rest are maybes. As such, I'm going to make sure I have either Lips or Scene It! to play if I have to buy one myself. H's sister works at a video game store, so she might get me one for Christmas, but if I don't get one, I have money put aside to buy one.



H's birthday is Saturday. Please make a note of it!!

I feel kind of guilty this holiday season. Firstly, I won my fifth NaNoWriMo and realized that I've never once donated money to the cause. So this year I'm giving them some dough. I mean, I would never have written a novel in the first place if it wasn't for them. And since I've sold 2 NaNo novels and plan to sell 2 more, it's only fitting that I give something back.

By now I'm sure you've all hear about the poor employee who died being trampled by Wal*Mart customers. It's bad enough that a 34 year old man has to work at Wal*Mart in the first place, but to be killed there just for doing your job is just fucking ghastly. And it's not the kind of crime you can even prosecute because it literally was a mob scene. I'm so disgusted and ashamed to be an American consumer right now, even though I do enjoy holiday gift giving.
Myself, I don't shop at Wal*Mart because I think they are an evil, horrible company that treats it's workers like less than shit. It's one of the small political choices I make with my money that I hope stands for something somewhere. Words can barely capture how I feel about that poor man and the tragedy surrounding him. I thought it was a hoax when I first heard it, but then it was everywhere.
Talk about senseless...

Going to see some of my favorite people tonight, yet again. My favorite thing about the holidays is that you get to see people you don't normally. People coming in from out of town, people having days off from work, people just generally being more social. It's awesome.

Think I'm finally getting the hang of the bread machine. Made some cinnamon bread yesterday that stayed kind of unmixed in the corners. I think that means the dough was too wet and didn't mix properly. Plus I missed the knead cycle so I didn't put any raisins in. Going to try another one later with less water. All the bread has been delicious thusfar, just not so beautiful.

And can I just say, the Macy's RickRolling was awesome. I've been RickRolled online once or twice, and it's always, always funny.

Almost forgot to mention that StoneGarden.net is having a half-off sale tomorrow Decemeber 30thSo you can get 50% off of any StoneGarden book. This would include:
A Stabbing for Sadie
The Cat's Apprentice
The Garden
and lots of other fine books.
So if you've been waiting to buy my books, or you want to give them as gifts, now's your time!!!

EDIT: Sorry kids, it's TODAY, November 30th. I'm just way ahead of myself.
So sorry for any inconvenience.

It's true, today is the 38th anniversary of my birth. I'm feeling both old and spry at once.

Friday, gifts started arriving, making me wonder how I could reconcile getting an Xbox360 and finishing the NaNoWriMo. As a result, I'm a little bit behind. I hope to break 40K before I retire for the evening.

Saturday I worked all day, then came home and baked a pineapple cake for the party, while uterdic set up my Xbox for me. He's bringing me some sort of adapter that will allow the Xbox and the Wii to be plugged in at the same time. That's gonna be sweet.

Then we had the party. Many of my favorite people were there, while some were sadly unable to attend. It's a bummer that several of my best friends don't live within comfortable driving distance. Frown. But the party was enormous fun, though for some reason we never got around to doing any Mad Libs even though I have a new book of them. It was decided that I would indeed, be having some people over for New Years Eve. I got some awesome gifts including Se7en, Shock Corridor, Cooking Mama for the Wii, and Sir Graves Ghastly on DVD this last item was lovingly processed by pak_man78 just for me because he knows how much I love Sir Graves. H also got me the Underdog box set which I have been wanting forever.

Yesterday was dinner at Mark's house (my brother). It was the second time I'd seen him in 9 years, and the first time I'd been to his house. nate101000 was kind enough to drive us. I know, right. That was pretty nice. My bro's house is very cool, they have a fireplace. There is also a brick wall in their kitchen. I really like my bro's wife, and they seem to be a good match for each other. That makes me really happy to see.

Today we went grocery shopping and bought fixin's for a semi traditional Thanksgiving. We're having a casserole of ground chicken and stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and bread from the breadmaker, and cranberry sauce. Although I like to make my own cranberry sauce, they didn't have any fresh cranberries at the store. Bummer.

Not sure what we're doing tonight.
Might order food, might not.
H doesn't have to work again until Friday. Lucky guy!