Shit V Shinola: a comparative analysis.

[wednes]

I treated myself to some used DVD's today. I almost never do this, but I bought two things I'd never seen because the buzz was so damn good. Specifically, I got Wolf Creek which I thought was about Sawney Beane. Actually, it's about Ivan Milat. I had actually been confusing it with 2003's Wrong Turn in my mind. But this one will be much better, I presume. Although Wrong Turn was not half bad, and Jeremy Sisto is quite nice to look at.
Next up, I finally scored a used copy of Raging Sharks which I've been wanting to own/see since I first heard about it courtesy of sweinberg and his kick ass horror articles. I predict that I will find it delightfully horrible (maybe even as bad as Ultimo Squalo although James Franciscus and Vic Morrow far outstrip anything we might get from a Corbin Bersen performance). Suffice to say, I'm damn excited.
I have to go to bed in a bit since H insists on seeing X Men 3 tomorrow at 10:30am. I wanted to go on Tuesday, because I hate crowds and how people always talk during the film. I'm all for cheering, yells of terror or excitement, laughing etc, but conversations about your kid, your mom, or another version/segment of the film really need to wait until lights up. He wants to go tomorrow since he got the day off so he could sleep before the wedded bliss of uterdic and smarbaby commences on Sunday. Anyway, Kelsey Grammer rules, and so shall the X Men.

I was about to go out this evening when I found this note taped to my door:

It certainly would be a kindness if you allowed your little cat at least some time by an open space--somewhat opened window or doorwall. Animals need some access to Life Forces of the outdoors. We can go in and out but your pet does not. Sincerely, Your Neighbor

I have to tell you, I found that extremely presumptuous, rude, condescending, and creepy. First of all, my doorwall is open for several hours a night, every night, even in the rain. The only time it is not open is when it is over 70 degrees at midnight, which I think has happened once so far this spring. Besides, I think I can safely say that anyone who doesn't think I take my cats' well being seriously doesn't know shit from shinola. I can only assume that they think the door is never open because they are Day Walkers and haven't seen it open. Anyway, I was pretty mad, so I wrote a note and taped it up by the mailboxes:

Dear Anonymous Note Leaver,
Thank you for your interest in my cats. I am always pleased to know that there are other cat lovers around. However, I am uncomfortable and confused to learn that a stranger would be watching us or making strange and incorrect assumptions re: the care of my animals.
If you continue to have concerns, why not stop by and introduce yourself rather than creeping me out with an anonymous note? Thank you. Sincerely, Wednes (phone number attached)

I hope my reply was not too fucked up. H hates it when I "make a scene" but I am far too angry to do nothing.
I mean seriously, the nerve!!

Comments

[gifgal.livejournal.com]

hah! i love your note--straight to the point with no b.s. i would have probably added a bit of snarkiness, but yours seems a bit tame for what id expect actually hehe :)

but yeah...how weird of THEM in the first place!

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I do think it's cool that they are so concerned about my cat's well being. But that's just a weird, awkward way to go about telling me...plus they made some odd assumptions.

Anyway, I didn't want to be too bitchy about it while making it clear that I'm not a fan of anonymous notes.

[soundcraft.livejournal.com]

Bwahaha - I find it creepily amusing that there is an anonymous person in the world who reserves part of their brain to ponder if Wednes' pets are getting their fair share of the Life Forces. ;) It sounds like an elderly lady - do you have an suspicions yet? The note was not over the top. And thanks - I didn't realize that both products repel aliens. *makes mental note*

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I know who it is. Our neighbors are pretty diverse. It's probably not the new neighbors and almost certainly not the Muslim family across the hall. That only leaves the middle-aged-living-alone-lady w/out a job down the hall.

Unless it's someone upstairs, I don't know any of those people.

Teh crazy lady

[soundcraft.livejournal.com]

OMG that could totally be me in about ten years - living alone, writing crappy fanfic, reading too much, going vegan, practicing feng shui with crystals and being concerned about the animals around us receiving their proper share of universal Life Forces. :D In that case, I am slightly defensive at the "creeping me out" part but feel welcome by the invitation to stop by. My too-heavy interest in non-violent conflict resolution and the work of Scott Peck commends the use of non-blaming "I statements" in your note, and the inclusion of your real phone number is friendly enough.

Don't worry, I prolly won't be living near you in ten years. :-)

Re: Teh crazy lady

[bemoreshameless.livejournal.com]

I like your note! It is perfect: smart and sharp.

Re: Teh crazy lady

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

The neighbor phoned and apologized.

Re: Teh crazy lady

[wednes.livejournal.com]

If you are, just stop on by to introduce yourself. H and I really are a friendly, approachable couple.

Turns out, it was my upstairs neighbor, she phoned and apologized. I phoned her back and said "no hard feelings" and explained that I have TWO cats who have different needs, and told her a bit about how I care for them. I don't mind explaining to someone concerned; but was uncomfortable thinking I needed to justify myself to someone unknown to me.

[stranger-tales.livejournal.com]

The director of Wolf Creek claims the film wasn't based on any single event. And there do seem to be a number of similarities to several different Aussie crimes. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolf_Creek_(film)

As for the film itself, I enjoyed it. But I didn't think it was quite what most folks hyped it to be. Better than Wrong Turn? Certainly more realistic in approach and perhaps scarier because of that. More entertaining? Not hardly. Wrong Turn is lots more fun. Though as you say, it did have the benefit of Jeremy Sisto. And Eliza Dushku.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Wrong Turn was like an ultra gruesom Friday the 13th. Chase kill/Chase kill/girl runs at end...gets away. Although doesn't one of the boys actually live in that one?

I'm looking for something more gruesome and less comeuppance driven. Sometimes I like when you see the killer consequenced (Hostel is a great example of this), but it's just more horrifying when they don't (SAW 2, Ho1KC).

Regardless, I'll watch it soon and post my thoughts.

[locakitty.livejournal.com]

What's a doorwall?

[madush69.livejournal.com]

A sliding glass door, most often used at the back of a residence.

[locakitty.livejournal.com]

ah ok

hehehe...i just always called them sliding glass doors. :)

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I used to also, but this apartment complex called them doorwalls so I just picked up on it--as did my neighbor it seems.

[locakitty.livejournal.com]

so it's just the weirdo apartment complex people.

i was too quick to judge :)

[madush69.livejournal.com]

My family has always called it the doorwall, dating as far back as 1970 when we first put the family room on my folks house.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Where you have big sliding glass doors for a floor to ceiling window. Not very zombie safe, but good for breezes.

[locakitty.livejournal.com]

See, us southern folk just call them sliding glass doors. you midwesterners are weirdos :)

Two things...

[eroslane.livejournal.com]

1. I <3 Wrong Turn. Love it muchly. Of course, it just reconfirms what I have believed since I was about ten years old, and that is never leave the freakin' main road!

2. If you leave your doorwall open, especially at night, that is how the SCARECROWS WITH HOOK-HANDS will get in!!! Aiiiieeeee! ::runs:: ::hides::

Re: Two things...

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Too true about the main roads.

We don't actually have scarecrows in the city, but we do have some unsavory types. And you never know when the zombie uprising will commence.

Re: Two things...

[eroslane.livejournal.com]

::whispers::

"Scarecrows with hook-hands live everywhere.

::hides behind couch::
::whimpers::

Re: Two things...

[wednes.livejournal.com]

WHAT?!?

How has this information eluded me for so long?

*arms self*

Re: Two things...

[eroslane.livejournal.com]

Obviously, you don't read my blog entitled "Scarecrows with hook-hands scare the freak out of ErosLane: what you can do to avoid them while still being able to live basically a calm, rational life."

My first post was entitled, "The Pizza Man Always Rings Twice. Scarecrows Just Once. KNOW THE DIF."

Re: Two things...

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Now that I think on it, I presume that many zombie holocaust preparations will translate well to scarecrow defense. Hook hands do pose some special problems though...

[princezna.livejournal.com]

That's so weird that they taped that to your door!! People can be so weird about animals I tell you. No one ever seems to care about human children being abused however. It's a strange phenomenon.

I used to have a cat at MSU and we lived in a house that was by grand river on a sidestreet. There wasn't a lot of traffic but obviously I couldn't allow the cat to be outside on his own. He cried and cried to go out there though but I was afraid he'd get run over. I came up with an idea to put him in a cat harness and tied him on a long lead to a stake in the ground so he could roam around the yard but not go off the property. He'd usually just sit under the stairs for hours on end. I don't know what he did under there but he enjoyed it. The cat wasn't going to hang himself because it was a harness not a collar. Someone would always be watching him too. Some folks saw this and freaked out. They brought the cat to the door and said that it was wrong and that cat's shouldn't be chained like dogs! waaa waaaa!! They didn't even notice that the cat was attached with a harness not by his collar though. I just wanted him to go outside and be safe but these people took that opportunity away from him. I never let him go outside again because I didn't want assholes like them bothering me. Later, I gave Mr. Fonkers to my boyfriend hoping that he could roam around outside at his place freely. I hope he has a good life now.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. I'm glad people are concerned, but not that they make unfair or untrue presumptions. Turns out, it was my upstairs neighbor who "felt sad that poor kitty was always looking longingly out the window."
Duh--he's a cat, they do that.

[kissdbyagnome.livejournal.com]

People don't let dogs roam, so why is it okay to let your cat roam? I take my cats outside on leads as well. And if anyone were to say anything, I think i'd tell them where to shove it (hint it's not where the shineola comes out!)

[wednes.livejournal.com]

We actually went through a lot of effort and time (and earplugs) helping him make the transfer from an outdoor cat and one that is happy indoors. To have a stranger tell me I made the wrong choice w/out even discussing it with me is quite rude, I think.

My note was effective though, and she phoned and apologized the next day.

[kissdbyagnome.livejournal.com]

Oh good. I guess we all do things without thinking these things through first. And she's obviously NOT owned by a cat.

[kissdbyagnome.livejournal.com]

[i]Animals need some access to Life Forces of the outdoors.[i]
That part cracked me up, Life Forces. Bahahaha. I guess they've never had a cat and don't know that they can sit for hours on end in a window, or that they become sundials on one's carpet.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I thought that too. She seemed to think that JoJo never gets any fresh air because he sits at the window a lot. That's like saying he isn't fed properly because he always wants people food. Cats just want what they want.