wednes: (NaNo Runner)
The NaNoWriMo is upon us once again. I haven't won it in some time. My first year was 2004. I played and won for five years in a row. And before you say "writing is not a game you play," let me assure you that the NaNoWriMo can be as much a game as you make of it. Little bursts of productivity as you compete with smug strangers for hourly goals, stalking the forums with much clucking and head shaking, and the timeless wily game we fondly call Procrastination. But yeah, I'm doing it again this year, and I fully intend to win. Behind right now, which is why I'm blogging instead of writing--even though that makes no sense.

I've already drafted much of the novel that I'm working on. For now, it's called The Second Funeral which is catchy evocative, I think. As I write a new first draft (so called because I'm making so many changes), I have no idea what the theme of this book is yet. That makes it harder to write because I'm focusing on arcs, plot, and character instead of on theme. What is theme to me? It's the reason people should read the book. The theme of A Stabbing for Sadie is that a) you never know someone else's story, and b) it's wrong to murder people no matter how right, how justified, how fair and balanced you may think it is. The theme of Kiss Me Like You Love Me is that a) we're all full of shit to some degree and we owe each other far better than that, and b) some people never fucking learn. The theme of The Finster Effect is that a) one day all the daily bullshit we deal with is going to go to hell--then we'll be left with the people we are and the choices we make, and b) humans don't know what the hell they're doing, and are doomed as a species.

As far as I'm concerned, if my books don't have a compelling theme, a valid and vital message--then they're a waste of everyone's time. Just typing that out worries me. I fear that I sound like an elitist jag (which, if you're new around here, is something I constantly struggle with). Plenty of people write books without a life changing theme, and that's a totally valid and personal choice. I read books like that, and I rarely come away with a feeling that I've wasted my time. In some ways, I feel like I owe it to the horror genre to elevate it to more than knives and monsters. Then I wonder if horror gives a rat's ass what I feel. If horror loves me as much as I love it, it's keeping a tight lid on that shit.

Somewhere between the 2nd edit, I tend to have that "Aha!" moment where I realize the real-world significance of the book I'm writing. That makes it easier to edit the fuck out of the draft, and then write a 3rd (or final, depending) draft. The one I send out to beta readers. I usually end up cutting a ton of stuff out, tightening all of it, and adding more about things and people who should have gotten more focus initially.

Without a theme, it's hard to know where anything is really supposed to go. Until I figured out the ending of Kiss Me Like You Love Me, I had no idea how it was supposed to end. Once I had a theme, it was clear that it could only end one way. Tough luck, Character!

I guess my main point here is that the new book doesn't have a theme. I can tell you who the main characters are, and basically what is happening. But I have no idea what it's "about." So please don't ask. When I figure it out, I'll let you know.

In other news, Deep Blue Sea is on cable this month. One of those movies that I know full well is terrible and has no connection to logic or science. I must admit though, I find it highly compelling as a film to have on when I'm doing other things. It has a great cast including Samuel L Jackson and Thomas Jane (a blonde, American James Purefoy if you will) along with Aida Turturro, Michael Rappaport, Saffron Burrows, and LL Cool Jay. H and I saw it on a date during those brief months after we were a couple but before we started living together.
wednes: (Really?)
Was planning on getting up at a reasonable hour and getting a bunch of work done. I'm still gonna get a bunch of work done--but mos def NOT because I got up at a reasonable hour. I'm having another goddamn kidney stone, and it has me hobbling around like a 90-year-old without a cane. Dang and Fie!
As such, I didn't get out of bed until about an hour ago, and will be heading back there soon replete with ibuprofen.
The lesson: I can have a few almonds on occasion--such as in a KIND bar. But buying that big bag of smokehouse almonds for me and H? Nope. That is right out.

Anyway, my lawyer client in Texas needs 4 new blogs by tomorrow. I have 2 things to write for AC, and a couple of Kinkly thinks I need to get done over the next week. It will help when it doesn't cause agony to sit in my desk chair.

Shark Week sucks now. I know I've been saying this every year for a while now, but it makes me so sad that it's become a fearfest of shark attacks. Looks like there are a few conservation shows this year. But the alternate 7-Days-of-Shark on NatGeo is still a damn sight better.

I'm off to drink more water and go back to bed. Owwie.
wednes: (Really?)
As I was watching Ghost Shark last night, it occurred to me that these shitty CGI movies could be less shitty with better writing. I mean, make a stupid, over-the-top monster movie with boobs everywhere and a cast that looks straight out of the United Colors of Benneton (do kids still know what that is?). But do it with a compelling script, a zillion pop-culture jokes, maybe a single character that audiences actually like--just for fun.

I could do that.
One might even argue that with my love of monster-movies, sharks, and horror--with my wit and dark sensibilities, and my passion for good dialogue that I'm incredibly well suited to this sort of work.
I have some awesome ideas, but I'm not posting them here.
Someone with an agent would totally steal them.

But no...
It seems that prestigious film scripts like Sharknado, Piranhaconda, and Ice Spiders can ONLY come to the SyFy Channel via an agent.
Yeah, those cheap-ass, underwritten CGI crapfests that I love so well have all gone through agents.

Is anyone else picturing a Saul Goodmanesque agent extoling the virtues of mixing dangerous animals with weather or other dangerous animals to make a boob-filled teen romp that only the SyFy channel would air?


In other news, aside from not really having the voice for it, I think Ben Affleck will be just fine as Bruce Wayne/Batman
wednes: (Neville)
I am not sure I care for the idea of simultaneous submissions. I can see why they're a convenience to the writer, but now that I'm a big-city editor (Ha!) I'm finding the whole concept to be a pain in the ass. Not sure yet if this means I should ban them entirely (not that people would listen) or stay with the current policy which is Simultaneous Subs are strongly discouraged.

Literary types, do you think the submission numbers would go way down if I insisted on no simultaneous subs?
Is that something I should be insisting on considering that we don't pay pro rates yet?

Not sure how to proceed, but I do know that it's frustrating as hell to accept a story, plan out an issue, and then see the work get withdrawn--especially if I've already edited it.
I'm inclined not to accept any submission from an author who does this. But I'm not sure if that's reasonable, or a sign of petttiness on my part.
(I wasn't going to tell anyone this, but I can be damn petty at times--Ha!)

Little help?

In other news, tomorrow night is Ghost Shark.
If you're in the neighborhood and want to come by, it comes on at 9pm.
I also made chocolate chip bananna bread with pecans.
wednes: (Wizard or the Skull)
Or is it?

I'm incredibly busy for someone who barely leaves the house. Still doing all my usual SEO work. I have about a dozen SEO clients right now. I also write an article or two a month for Kinkly. Those articles tend to go bonkers online. I guess people on the internet like sex. Who knew?

Still reviewing Dexter (meh, so far) and Under the Goddamn Goddamn Dome or whatever it's called. I might as well make the title longer since they've got the nerve to give us a whole second season of that watered down claptrap. H hasn't read the book and he still says it's flat and absurd, and the dialog is clunky and most of the performances are stiff. Dean Norris is giving a stellar performance though. The totality of my snarky comments may be found at Geekbinge.
We're doing some Breaking Bad stuff to celebrate the new season. I'm doing an In Memoriam article with snarky commentary on everyone who died, and a short piece on why Skyler is the worst wife in the history of anything. Well, it's supposed to be a short piece. But she's awful, so it might get long and a little ranty. I'm caught up with the first half of Season Five, and am pretty stoked that they brought in Justin Louis. I love him! I was sad when he turned into a zombie that time.

And of course...the mag is going on. My experiences with theme issues thusfar has led me to conclude that there will be no more theme issues. I'd like to leave each issue as a grab bag where you never know what you'll get. We'll feature things in a way that has universal appeal among horror fans. Undead September is happening, and we've got some cool vampire stuff in the mix for October. Remember, vampires are villains, not fuck buddies.
Horror is a vast landscape and I don't want issues to be restricted to any one thing in particular. Submissions are slow at the moment. I'm hoping that once issues get out there and people see how badass the mag is, that will change. In the mean time, you might consider subscribing so as to get your hands on the horror. It's a mere $1.99 a month or $19.99 for a whole year. I'm not even sure how you could resist. You can't, can you? Besides, how will you review it if you haven't read it?

And finally, IT'S SHARK WEEK!!!
Granted, I liked Shark Week better when it was about shark conservation and the importance of not hunting apex predators to extinction. Now it's about how scary and bitey sharks are, and how high they can jump. I gotta confess, some of that leaping white shark photography is fucking awesome.
I mean, seriously.
wednes: (Elephant on Trampoline)
Picked up an extra shift at the day-job this week to cover for someone attending a funeral. What am I gonna say? No, I don't feel like it even though my plan was to stay home, relax and dick around on the computer? Possibly, but I didn't. I could use the scratch. I need to order new magnet bracelets since my good one broke (after over a decade) and my pretty ones aren't really strong enough. I got another pretty one that is stronger, and a super-dooper-uber-strong one that will top out at around 4000 gauss. Mmmmm...gauss. I realize that I am a great believer in a few medical things, like magnets and EMDR, that a lot of people assume are bunk.
Magnets, for example, are sold as being miracle cures. They aren't. They don't lower your blood pressure, stress level, or give you an enhanced state of being. But they have helped me through some awful pains. I first used them to take down the swelling in an abcessed molar. If you've never had the displeasure, it's like a throbbing kidney stone in your mouth. Magnets did the trick--I didn't even care how absurd they looked taped to my face. These days, they curb the carpal/cubital tunnel pain.

The "ENTER" key on my keyboard at work sticks terribly.
I find it irksome.

This weekend I'm hanging out with my new buddy, a little kid I'll refer to as G-man. G-man is the child of a chick I went to college with. His family is Mormon. He is a certified genius and a huge fan of all things horror. He came out to Ann Arbor a while back to record a short story for me--and was great. I think he's 9, though he might be 10. Anyway, he's coming over on Saturday and sleeping over in H's office. We're gonna talk horror, maybe record some more fiction, and watch whatever horror I have that is swear-free and hopefully won't scar the kid for life. I'm thinking of showing him Night of the Living Bread, maybe a few original Twilight Zone eps, and either the original Dracula or Frankenstein.

I'm also taking suggestions on stuff that is quality horror but can still be shown to a kid with religious parents. The original JAWS should be fine if he hasn't already seen it. Apparently, he loves megalodons.

Still chipping away at this med situation. Doubling my dosage tonight of the Celexa. Here's hoping it won't make me more tired than I already am. My appointment with my regular doc and psyche doc together is supposed to be next Thursday, but I just found out I have to work. I'm hoping I can get that figured out, since I can't get another refill until I see both docs together. I do feel a lot less tense, angry, and worried about stuff. But I'm tired and not getting very much work done. It's so hard finding a balance...

And finally, this Friday the 13th is the giant, enormo, FREE Kindle giveaway for A Stabbing for Sadie. ONE DAY ONLY, BITCHES! I don't have H's fly graphic with me at work, but please do tell everyone you've ever known. Graphic will be up by tomorrow. Honest.
wednes: (Wednes Logo)
New Yoga DVD is kicking my ass. Seriously, kicking it.
I can't even get through the first 25 minute segment. I are weak.
But soon...I shall be strong. *kicks guy into pit* THIS IS WEDNES!!!!

Had a delightful exchange on the Facebook with Marilyn Wann. I told her I had a shirt with her book cover on it, and she said I must be super badass. Duh. I told her I needed a shirt apprising people that Ms Wann thinks I'm badass. Ha!

Am working on my first article written entirely with Dragon Dictate. It's a cool program, until I take a short break and start singing along with the iTunes. There's a lot to like about Alcatraz. Sam Neill has long been a boon to horror and why do I give valuable time to people who don't care if I live or die. Yeah, it's silly. Still, DD knows a lot of great nerdy words. It understood that Daleks and Wookies do not go to Hogwarts. Ha again!

No new book reviews in some time. If you owe me a review, you better gets to writing it! Another great interview up at Zombie Zone News. I loved this guy's book and thought he was a great interview!

Alcatraz is pretty good so far. We're giving it a whirl. I'm not going to write a whole big thing here since I'm working on a thing for AC. Also looking into writing for Horror Web, as they are needing new writers and the contact guy seems nice.

The podcast is becoming a stressful pain in my ass. I will be very happy when I no longer have to fuck around with these. By which I mean that I hope I don't have to produce The Finster Effect myself. The cast is too friggin' huge anyway.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but both Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich have been two of the most hated men in contemporary politics for years. Santorum has been a hateful bigot for at least a decade, and Gingrich has been saying shitty things about minorities and the poor since I was a teenager. So why is anyone taking these pricks seriously? How is that even possible?!? Thanks to Dan Savage (and yay for him, I say) we simply cannot have a president Santorum. We just can't. Gingrich has always been a complete bastard. Mark Maron used to talk about him back when he was crazy smokin' hot. Maron's still attractive in a goofy way, but I guess every man can't age as well as John Schneider. Seriously. John Schneider is hotter now than he was when I was a kid.
Or am I just saying that to get you to watch the Super Shark musical trailer???

Because that's just the kind of thing I'd do...and he's all the way at the end.
Still, it's a marvelous trailer. Just delightful.
wednes: (Wednes Poison)
No bites yet for long-term freelance work or steady, part-time writing gigs. Got offered a few projects, but nothing that will allow me to bid a fond Fuck You to my current day-job. Still, keeping up with my plan to apply to at least one new job every business day. Yay.

My yoga stuff finally showed up.
Will take it for a test toast tomorrow.

Speaking of test-toast, H and I received the Caprica Cylon Toaster, so we can make sammies with cylons on the front. I'm stoked. It was a gift from this couple that H knows thru work and I kind of know thru H. Full pictorial spread coming once we make our sammies.
Cylons like bacon, right?

Still working on some subs, some articles, and reading like a fiend on this here Kindle. I have to be careful of this whole "Oh, it's only $.99, or $2.99 or wait...$6.99 is a really good deal for blah blah blah and the next thing I know, H is demanding to know why I spent $60 on Amazon. Oops. It's similar to the "problem" I had with iTunes until I discovered streaming. Still...I'm getting very into this Jonathan Maberry cat. Turns out, he's not just a charming guy from The Facebook.

Thus endeth the 5-day-job-day work week, of which I am not a fan. Well, not quite yet, as I'm going to be trapped here until 5pm. Happily, it's slow as fuck. I can't really get any actual writing done at the day-job, but I can read the fuck out of some books.
I brought my Kindle with me so I can continue reading Lemony Snicket. I've only read the first 3 so far--and I'm rereading them all before I move forward. Snicket starts killing loveable characters off much earlier than Rowling did. I still don't know why they didn't make the rest of the series into movies. Damn, that first one was a ton of fun with spectacular art direction.

I want to sleep for an entire day. I suspect that this day will be tomorrow.

Also, we got new phones. I didn't want to go with Sprint again because their phones looked sucky. We got LGRumor Touch phones. Big surprise, they are sucky. The scrolling is terrible--especially if you're used to iPod scrolling--which is good. You can make your own ringtones, but only the stuff you buy can be made into alarms, message indicators, etc. So as much as I want my phone to yell Son of a Whooooooooore when I get a message, it won't. I can only set it as a ring, which means it does it multiple times--which is less funny. Oh well...

The phrase "Judeo-Christian Sharia" is thrilling me greatly. Not that people are doing it, but that people are calling it that. These damn Christians hate our freedom and want to destroy us. That's why they're blowing up our medical clinics and shaming our women.
Santorum, you disgust me.

Shark Night (2D) is going on my Ridiculist. (Take THAT, Anderson Cooper) I watched it for free, and knew that it would not be good. In fact, I presumed it would be slasher-quality, with decent CGI and a few laughs. It wasn't even that good. It was like, SyFy Saturday "good". If you're gonna have a guy lose an arm (bloodlessly, for some reason), he can't get up a few hours later and kill a hammerhead with his one good arm and a sharp stick. If you do, you can't THEN decide that he's suddenly near death and can't even sit up by himself. And the blonde who can't figure out how to stay dressed? Tired.
Cookie cutter sharks do not aggressively hunt in packs.
And if 3 blithering, illiterate, racist, drunken idiots have captured multiple large sharks alive and then moved them to a centralized location (something professionals often screw up), and then placed them into traps (where they can miraculously breathe while staying still in the water) where they can be released at will...actually, it doesn't matter. Just don't do it. It's stupid.
Shark Night essentially takes Hostel, Vacancy, Wrong Turn, and Lake Placid, adds some shark CGI, a few chicks in bikinis, and some dumbass rednecks and calls it a movie.
It isn't. Not really.
wednes: (Sow the Seed)
So...plenty of stuff has been happening in the world. I'm at work, so you're not getting links, but all manner of crazy crap has been afoot. All those mysterious shark attacks in Egypt? Caused by sheep traders chumming the waters there regularly, then abruptly stopping. This, of course, makes for lots of hungry sharks expecting food and finding only tourists. Doesn't take Ron and Valerie Taylor to tell you that's gonna be trouble. Now, those poor whitetips are being killed, most recently by some drunken jackass doing a cannonball.

Disappearing Honeybees? This one has been going on only slightly less time than we've been hearing the omnipresent threat of killer bees coming soon to a schoolbus near you. Culprit? The EPA approved some pesticide that is harmful when ingested or touched. Not sure where the big mystery is, but guess what? Poison kills things. I no, rite? [sic}

DADT is dying a sputtering, Tim-Roth-in-Resevoir-Dogs-style death. You'd think people would be embarrassed to bray on and on that gays will make the military a terrible/unstable place. First of all, if you care so goddamn much about the military, how's about getting them proper equipment and medical care? And also, bigots said the same shit about the introduction of racial minorities AND women into the military. Guess what? We still have a military and their feats of bravery still manage to move me to tears on a regular basis. As much as I complain about my job, I'm pretty sure there won't be anyone shooting at me. Sheesh! All this gay-bashing nonsense truly amounts to God=good, gays=icky which is a matter of personal (and ridiculous) opinion, not a basis on which to pass laws. For fuck's sake, why are we even still talking about this?!?

Still have a bit of baking to do for the holidays. Everything will get shipped out tomorrow night or Weds morning via FedEx because we get a discount. H's birthday is today, and I'm giving him some cool gifts. Tomorrow I'm making him another mexican lasagne and marzipan cake. H's favorite cake in the whole world is my extra-rich marzipan butter cake.

1. Beer: Meh, no thanks.
2. McDonalds: Delicious, comes with toy.
3. Relationships: Mine are all pretty awesome.
4. Colour: Pink or Blue
5. Power Rangers: Ew.
6. Weed: I'd love some, thanks!
7. Steroids: Yep, for my sinuses
8. Cartoons: Simpsons, Looney Toons, Seth MacFarland
9. The President: I love you, Barack! Don't let the haters hate on you.
10. Tupperware: Yes, but no parties
11. Florida: The ground is covered with shells.
12. Santa: Gimme Gimme Gimme!
13. Halloween: It's the moooost wonderful tiiiime of the yeeeeeear!
14. Alice: in Chains: Meh
15. Grammar: I'm not immune to the odd mistake
16: Myspace: Not lately, no.
17. Clowns: Only if Gacy painted it.
18. Marriage: Mine? It rocks. I see a lot of shitty ones though.
19. Paris: She's a bimbo.
20. Thor: He's aight
21. Redheads: Renee and Jay
22: Blondes: Meh
23. Pass the: Pipe, Bogartor!
24. One night stands: Not lately, but fine back in the day.
25. Donald Trump: Braying jackass
26. Neverland: I'm not one for the growing up.
27. Pixie sticks: Like drinking sugar.
28. Vanilla ice cream: Paul Newman's Own
29. Public Busses: No, thanks/
30. High school musical: Ugh
31. Pajamas: Underpants and T-shirt
32. Woody: The porn award? Okay.
33. Wet Socks: Goddamit!
34. Zombie Movies: Rock my World
35. Love: H
36. River: Huron
wednes: (Default)
I am not watching Shark Week this year. There, I said it. I have been watching Shark Week for over 20 years. Seven of those years, I recorded it on VHS. Shark Week is Discovery channel's highest rated week. It was an awesome opportunity to educate people, especially kids, about the importance of sharks in the food chain, and the oceans ecosystem. Slowly, they started focusing more on "feeding" (read: attacks on prey animals). But now, it's all about attacks...on people. oooooh, Scary, Scary Sharks!! *cue Jaws theme* And that, my friends, is bullcrap. So I'm not watching.

Lunch with my Aunt Barb tomorrow. She's pretty awesome. And it's nice to be reminded that there are some NOT mentally ill people in my family. A lot of bad illnesses seem to run in my mom's side of the fam: bi-polar disorder, hearing loss, apnea, bad backs, high blood pressure, and diabetes. It's a wonder the family line has continued at all. ;-]

I have a new interview coming out later today. Details to follow presently.

Been watching Huge on abc family. I'm pretty surprised that I like it so much. They've cast a good bunch of kids and have written them as both realistic (as far as I can tell, I mean, I'm like 40) and compelling. I like they way they are dealing with everyone as a whole person, and not just a walking weight problem. Although, it appears that The Hoff's daughter is snogging with one of the counselors. Not cool. But I gotta ask, where was the FA movement when I was a kid, or a teenager, or even a young adult? I could have been not hating myself and my body for all that time. No fair. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't get way more into the whole HAES and FA politics. It would certainly complement my feminist roots.

And finally, I went out for a drink with a co-worker on Saturday after work. They carded me for an Amaretto Sour. Ha!
wednes: (Default)
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My oldest fear is sharks. Thank you, Senor Spielbergo. Guess what? Sharks are still scary and I love watching them just as much as I did as a kid. I watch every stupid shark movie I encounter, and I recorded new Shark Week every year before it became "Shark Attack Week." Now that we know better, I'm not really into sharks being portrayed as monsters that love to eat people. That's what zombies are for.

My most persistent fear is zombies. Duh. Zombies are still scary, even though I'm better prepared for them than I was at a young age. I started making zombie maps of the area in which I live in roughly 1986, and I still do them every time I move. They list cemeteries and hospitals as places to avoid, and gun stores and wholesalers as places to get to. Being in Michigan, the Militia is our friend. Plenty of people tell me I'm silly to prepare for zombie apocalypse; those are the people I won't be sharing my supplies with when the time comes. Frankly, the thought of a zombie fueled war is so damn scary to me that it seems woefully foolish not to prepare. I mean, we have a fire extinguisher but we've never used it.

As for me, I'm super busy because I'm trying to get tons of stuff done. Professional blogging, marketing, outlining the new book, podcasting, and working even more hours than usual at my day-job, which is stressing me out and robbing me of the sleep I so richly deserve. I will be so much happier when I'm famous and can do whatever the hell I want. Okay, I know in real life grown ups hardly ever get to do whatever the hell they want--still, it would be neat to own a house and maybe a car, to shop for groceries once a week instead of twice a month. I would like for my life to not be subjected to the whims of the scheduling manager. My work schedule was great until a new person started doing it. Frown and Fie!

Meeting up with my narrator tonight to record chaps 3 and 7. Have been trying to learn how to do an Indian accent because I STILL haven't found an actress. Craigslist has been fucking useless and only served to double the amount of spam that makes it into my Inbox. I might be able to pull off one of these voices, but certainly not both of them. What the hell was I thinking?!???

In annoyance news, here are the things I shouldn't have to say to customers but apparently, I do:

1. If your child is screaming in the background and you can't hear me, call back later.
2. If you have no idea what size instrument your kid has, I can't fit it with strings. Please find out and call back.
3. If you don't know where your credit card is, please find it and call back.
4. If I tell you you haven't given me enough information to ensure that you're ordering the right product, please take my word for it. I do this all day long.
5. I remember what I told you last time. And even if I don't, it's recorded so I can always check later. Please don't pretend that you can trick me. You can't.
6. I'm not going to give you a discount because you yelled at me. Why on Earth would I?
wednes: (Default)
Photoshop gets my hopes up again with this story of a supposed giant Great White Shark, (to be confused with a White Pointer, because that's what they call them where Steve Irwin is from). Sad thing is, it's obviously manipulated, which makes me very sad.

I do so wish it was real. But it's pretty clear that it isn't. Too bad, because overfishing has killed off most of the bigger sharks, and they're getting pretty rare. *sigh*
wednes: (Default)

Whelp, the Monterey Bay Aquarium is once again ringing the mystery out of life and the wildlife out of sharks by displaying yet another juvenile white shark. Let's hope they get this one back into the ocean before it dies. She's pretty!

H and I were watching Jurassic Park yesterday. We were struck by the fact that they fed the carnivores live prey. I used to feed my snake live mice (or rats, depending on what was on sale) but I've never seen this happen in a zoo. Are there zoos that feed with live animals? I guess I'm torn on that whole thing. It seems kinda...ew. But it's not so bad compared to what happens in the wild.

Was trying to find some iron-on rhinestone letters in order to make myself the snappiest version yet of a "No Fat Chicks" shirt. Turns out, rhinestone letters more than one inch in height cannot be found online for less than $2.95 each. Times that by ten, plus shipping, plus the price of the shirt and the time involved, you're looking at a $60 T-shirt which kind of defeats the whole purpose of T-shirts in the first place. Ultimately, I found some sparkly letters in a retro 70's font that I think will do nicely. They are supposed to work well on dark colored shirts, so we shall see.

My new Nike's got here today. For some reason, the FedEx guy left them in the furnace closet down the hall from me. Anyway, they look nice, fit well and are comfy.

H made me a hilarious new ringtone of Steve Smith from American Dad. For those of you not in-the-know, American Dad is by basically the same team as Family Guy. It's just as funny, tends to be more political, and has a lot more jokes specifically related to vaginas. Steve is the teenage son, who is sort of a spoof on those kids in bad 80's movies that scream all of their dialogue.

Have a listen!

wednes: (Default)
I've been thinking a lot about Obama and health care and why this is getting so stupid. People will insist on raving about how National Health Care will hurt old people and make all kinds of cost-based decisions on who is valuable enough to receive care under the new plan. What baffles me about that is that no one seems to be saying that what they claim to fear is exactly what most middle class or poor people are dealing with right now. Insuring the uninsured seems like such a no-brainer. Unless you're one of those people who honestly believes taxes is the same as stealing (Mainly because you want to tell strangers how to live their lives. Myself, I'd like to tell the military they can't have another dime of my tax monies until they stop being such dicks to gay people, but I'm not allowed to do that.) and that all poor people are stupid, lazy, and undeserving of medical care, this is an easy issue.

So what's the problem? I think I know. I think people have a difficult time understanding Obama's plan or even his basic attitudes. Why? Because he speaks in paragraphs. As Americans, we are used to politicians translating everything they do into short, crisp slogans and declarations. "Shock and Awe" "Zero Tolerance" "No Child Left Behind" "Patriot Act" "Mission Accomplished" They are all nationalistic rallying cries that sheep can get behind without really thinking. Nevermind that "No Child Left Behind" was a scam to lower school funding and the "Patriot Act" implied that you were unAmerican for not wanting to piss on the Constitution because you're frightened.

To understand a paragraph, you have to read the whole thing. Then you probably have to think about it. Sadly, this is too much work for many, many people including those who enjoy discussing politics or perhaps blogging about them < / irony >. The average person's apathy and unwillingness to put for that effort is a real stymie to someone like Obama, who doesn't speak in rehearsed one-liners. People will insist on loving one-liners.

Interestingly, this need to define concepts in single sentences is something that has long bothered me about many Christians. You know how they recite single lines from their holy book as if one sentence represents the entirety of a concept? I hate that. You wouldn't do that with any other book...or maybe you would. Take Jaws for example. The great fish moved silently through the water. Okay, that does happen in Jaws. It's accurate and factual. But it is by far the whole story. What about the attacks? The Mayor's dicketry? Ellen Brody's treacherous affair with Matt Hooper? You wouldn't know any of that because you stopped listening after the first sentence. So you certainly should not claim you understand the novel Jaws because you agree with that one single sentence. So it is with holy books, and political concepts. "Do onto others" is a great concept, but not so much when the rest of the book says it's okay to allow your daughters to be raped by strangers or that you should kill a man for toiling on the sabbath.

I have my own issues with Obama. I'm still peeves about DOMA and DADT because they are both stupid and grounded in a faith I do not share--and am not required to share by any US law. But dammit, health care is important. Keeping the Earth habitable for humans is important. Jobs are important. So for fuck's sake people, just let the man work without shouting your FOX/Lou Dobbs inspired one-liners at him. You embarrass yourselves, and indeed, all of us.

While I'm here complaining, I think I'll mention that Shark Week used to be about the sharks. Thusfar this year, it's all been about the attacks. The point of Shark Week in the beginning was conservation and awareness of why sharks are important and awesome. Filling people's heads with stories about little boys getting killed and "innocent" honeymooners getting attacked does nothing more than incite fear and therefore hatred. (In America, we love to hate that which scares us. That's why there's so much unscary horror out there, but that is a rant for another day). If I'm sitting in my living room and a cheeseburger floats by, I may very well take a bite of it (okay, not really because that's creepy). It's the same for sharks. If you go in the ocean, you're making yourself equal with ocean animals. There is a food chain there, and the only reason we think we're at the top of it is because we were smart enough to invent gunpowder. For serious. Maybe I'd be better off pulling out my Air Jaws/Ultimate Guide VHS's from 2005-2007

And finally, from the pages of "Duh" Magazine: Psychologists finally decide you can't therapize someone out of being gay. Great, you also can't meditate yourself into a new eye color. Well played, psychology.
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My brother Mark came to visit H and I and join us for dinner. We had tossed salad with fresh mozzarella and a good red balsamic, then stuffed shells with italian sausage. Decadent and very tasty. For dessert, Sara Lee pound cake with a nice strawberry/blueberry reduction and some cool wHip. Yummy.

We planned to hang out and play a bunch of video games. I borrowed Wii Play so we could play some pool. H and I have been talking about getting set up for Wii Resort which is gonna be sweet. And Mark brought us Bully for the Xbox360 because he already beat it and thought we'd like to check it out. I also thought we'd play some SceneIt! and some PinballFX. And then...tragedy struck.

Our TV (which was a wedding present) has been having this problem where the top of it has some kind of weird reflection thing going on that messes up the top, oh say, 1/8 of the picture. H and I started talking half-assedly about what we might do when we finally need a new TV. Our TV turns itself off when you turn it on. Sometimes it goes so far as to make a little sound, then it shuts itself off again. Even when you unplug it, the "on" light continues to blink for a few seconds, then nothing. Sadly, it doesn't seem like there's any fixing it.

This is bad, because we enjoy TV. It's also bad because we can't afford a new one. There are a couple of shows I'm watching this summer, plus I've been wanting to catch up on some DVD's. What I didn't even realize until later was...get ready, it's awful...

Shark Week starts tonight.
And I have no TV.

Obviously this is not a big deal in the grande scheme of things. But right here, right now, at this present point in space and time? It sucks.

So if anybody wants to hip me to a cheap TV, do let me know.
Cable Ready
In good working order

EDIT 10:12pm hand-me-down 27" TV just arrived. Will set up tomorrow.
Many thousands of thanks to everyone who offered to help out.
You guys rule, and I really mean that!!
wednes: (Default)
Happy Halloween kids!!

I wasn't going to dress up for anything this year, then I found out they are giving cash prizes at work for best costume. So I'm gonna zombie it up a bit, just for fun. They are also feeding us pizza, which is cool because I'm become disgruntled with work as of late. I hate having to arrange for the cab every morning, I hate how much of my life it takes up, and I hate how incredibly hot it is in the office where I am. I was fine with it being cold all summer, but hot all winter is gonna be difficult to bear.

We watched Shark Attack 3: Megalodon again. H had never seen it. It's so funny. We had just watched Jaws and found this a good follow up. Watching it on DVD is much better than on Sci Fi since it turns out, there's a bunch of swearing and drug use. Anyway, that movie is courtesy of film critic [ profile] sweinberg. You can read his reviews over at Rotten Tomatoes in case you didn't know.

Since everyone cool is doing it, I'm gonna post about horror movies for Halloween. Here's my list of six great horror movies you've probably never seen:

Night of the Living Dead. I am amazed at how many people haven't seen this movie front to back. Sit down and watch it some time, and then remember that it was made in 1968. Not only is it the best American horror movie ever, but it inspired every zombie movie that followed it, and that's a LOT of movies. Romero sets the standard, and we're not mentioning Land of the Dead

The Last Broadcast. I love this movie, even as I concede that the ending could be seen as frankly preposterous. It's a little film with a lot of heart, and well worth sitting down and watching. Like High Tension, I love the wacky ending everyone else seemed to hate. Give it a go, if you can find a copy.

Open Water. This movie was billed as the "scariest shark movie since Jaws". While that is true in a manner of speaking, such a tagline ruins the suspense of the movie. It's not a "shark" movie as much as it a terrifying film about people adrift in the open ocean. Another small budget gem with 2 great performances and superb direction.

Series 7: The Contenders. Not a horror movie per se, but a truly scary premise well acted between a lot of jerky, shaky camera work. A gritty, contemporary Running Man-like game where anyone can be chosen and forced to play and be the last one alive. A cool little film, again, if you can find a copy.

The Descent. Horror fans tend to love this movie. Non horror fans would never watch it, which is too bad. Because once you get past the women's personalities, you've got a gory, scary, very satisfying foray into scary monsters that hide in the dark--and what the fuck is scarier than that?

Rope. Hitchcock's movies are usually in the drama section, rather than horror. But of course, some of them are really very scary. Of course Psycho is my favorite Hitch film, but Rope is a strong second. It's a portrait of two college friends, like Leopold and Loeb, who thrill kill their friend and toy with his loved ones at a party. It's a taut psychological thriller with awesome performances and intense camera work. Plus it was shot in all ten minute takes.

May your Halloween be filled with fun and pretend scares!
wednes: (Default)
Cute? Or terrifying?

Apparently this was not photoshopped.
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I got tired of growing my hair out "for the wedding" and decided to get about 3 inches lopped off the bottom. Rather a drastic change at this late date, but I'm just wearing a circlet so it will look fine regardless of my hair's length. It's not like a veil where hair becomes a huge issue. I think it looks good nice and short, and it's def more comfortable.

I had a day off today and didn't do much but sleep, go to Group, and get my hair cut. Now I'm watching Shark Week, which is my favorite week-long TV event of the year.

I have to start bringing my lunch to work. Problem is, I haven't done that ever in my adult life, and need ideas of what I should bring. Those of you who pack lunches, what do you pack? What if I only want to bring food that doesn't require refrigeration? We have a fridge, but I might not want to use it. What should I pack for lunch?

Did you hear they found a Coelecanth? Thanks to Kassy for the heads up on that. Woo Hoo, I'm seeing Kassy after work tomorrow, which will be swell.

We watched 300 last night. It was really good for a movie with such a thin plot. Lots of cool spectacle and some really fun villainy. It gets my reccomends, and we all know of my lingering distaste for action movies. Not as good as Gladiator, but different in enough ways to make it a really enjoyable watch. Those poor elephants!
wednes: (Default)
Well, I'm off to work. My first day yesterday was full of training and paperwork. The people seem pretty nice, mostly music nerds and Harry Potter fans. I feel sort of out of my element since there's so much product knowledge I lack, but I have some good resources and it should all come together pretty soon. I've been taking cabs so far, it's only $6, but once I don't have to carry tons of stuff back and forth I'll be able to ride the bus in and just cab it home. They also want me to take a break during my shift. As if I need a break from sitting by a computer and talking on the phone...

Plus, I actually have an occasion to use my old Madstone coffee cup--for water.
I also have an excuse to buy some new clothes, which I'll be able to afford.

JoJo is not at all cool with my new schedule. He's acting like some kind of maniac cat. Maybe I need some kind of superhero to chill him out:

I got hipped to this pic by [ profile] eroslane,
I didn't draw it--what am I, [ profile] smarbaby?!?

This weekend shall be crazy writing so I can catch up with, and most likely finish the JulNoWriMo. I'm sure my serial killer misses me by now.
And then...Shark Week!!!
wednes: (Default)
This story is kinda like that, but with sharks.

It seems that hammerhead sharks can reproduce asexually

And like all really cool animal news, the baby shark was killed almost immediately after being born. That's how they know it had no male chromosomal input. Isn't that just so wild?

Scientists are freaked out by it, saying that this kind of reproduction is bad for the species as a whole. I don't know about that. Making babies without men can only be a good thing, no? ;-]

Okay mammals, we're the only ones left who aren't asexually reproducing.
Let's get a move on, shall we?
wednes: (Default)
The good?

We're finally getting our engagement pics taken today, just 8 months after we actually got engaged.

The bad?

I have mosquito bites on me. They itch and are very annoying.

9 year old boy find 135 million year old shark tooth )
wednes: (Default)
I used to have a fish tank, a 20 tall to be exact. In it were some poisonous frogs, a fire newt, and some snails. Oddly enough, the snails were far and away the most interesting things in the tank. the frogs just sat there, and the newt, as it turned out, was trying to avoid being eaten by the frogs. BTW, never trust anyone who works for PetCo to know anything about the animals they sell.

Anywhoo, I gave the frogs et al to the nephew of a friend. The snail, name of Gary (ha), is now bigger than a human fist. I miss him, all big and yellow tooling around the tank.
Yesterday a buddy of mine without an LJ came over with a book for me. He said he was getting rid of his 5 gallon tank and the plants within. Perfect, I think, for storing a snail or two. So I have it. It's full of plants and water being filtered so that in a week or two, I can intriduce a yellow snail, and maybe a brown one. It's gonna be great.

In other aquatic news, Jimmy Hall, who was supposed to host Shark Week this year, won't be. Apparently he died base jumping. He only taped half of his Shark Week segments, so who knows how that'll work out.
As if that weren't freaky enough, Ken Doudt who wrote a best selling book about his own shark attack 20 some years ago, has drowned while surfing. This confirms my theory that being one of those outdoorsy people is a recipe for death. I knew it!

Reading over my recent journal entries has convinced me that I'm depressed enough to warrant taking a look at the meds I'm on. I'm seeing the doc this week to make him give me something (or maybe take away something) so I can feel a bit peppier, more alert, and less fucking depressed. This particular dark cloud has been here for over 2 months, which is far too long.
wednes: (Default)
I gotta ask, am I the only one who feels like they've already seen Spiderman 3? The trailers are getting kind of long and revealy.

On a scarier note, why did no one tell me of the existence of the terrifying Bear Sharks? Even more horrifying are the Zombie Bears. It's as if Colbert (or ColBEAR as he is sometimes called on the site) is making Wiki entries with the express purpose of scaring the hell out of me.

Online quizzes define me once again:
You Are Straight

There's not much queer about you.
So let's just say you're straight... but not narrow.

I have a bad cough. It sucks.
wednes: (Default)
With megalodon-sized thanks to [ profile] groovesinorbit

Eighty percent of all deep sea monster myths were cleared up today with the discovery of this fucking thing in, where else, Tokyo--the home of fuckin' Godzilla.

This frilled shark is what they are also calling a "fossil shark" because it was thought to be extinct and so we have only seen it as a fossil. Genius, those scientists! It swims from side to side like any good fish, and is usually far too deep in the sea to come in contact with humans.

Fossil Shark (or frilled shark)
Fossil Shark (or frilled shark)
I probably also live in loch ness!
Frilled Shark (or fossil shark)
Frilled Shark (or fossil shark)
Hello, I am terrifying! I have a mouthful of razor sharp needle teeth.

Figures, of course, that a marina captured this animal and it immediately died.
Frowny, for sure, but just a matter of time before they catch another one.
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I got up early today so H and I could go to Borders. I had a gift card from my birthday and wanted to get Crowley's Book of Law since mine mysteriously disappeared, and an unabridged complete Edgar Allan Poe for the same reason. I swear, I'm not going to loan out books anymore if people don't start returning my shit. All my books have my name in them too, so it's not like people don't know they're mine.
Anyway, we missed the bus and I didn't want to wait half a damn hour in the cold, so we went home. Suck.
But then I found out I could order online with my gift card, and everything was solved.
It really is very cold out though...but not so cold people can get into the homeless shelter w/out registering. Drag.

My new Stampula pin arrived this afternoon. Stampula is what I call my Dracula stamp lapel pin I got from USPS years ago. This new one came with a Wolfman pin also, which we are calling Stampenwolf because we are hilarious. Anyway, these are bigger and less shiny than my other one, but it's cool. My other one had seen better days...

As if New Zealand hasn't done enough for the world, now they are now banning all harming and killing of Great White Sharks. That is especially good news since New Zealand is second only to Australia as having lots of white sharks. And as you may know, I loves those Great White Sharks. Ooooh, scary! Thanks, New Zealand!!

My copy of A Blade in the Dark also arrived today. Macabre is also on the disc. They are 80's slasher films by Lamberto, the littlest Bava. LOL Anyway, I borrowed this movie from [ profile] psychswitch a while back and have wanted to own it ever since.

Come to think of it, I've gotten plenty of cool stuff in the mail as of late. H's grandmother sent me some pics of H as a kid, he's probably about 8. This is probably some kind of stepping stone on the way to complete familial acceptance. I mean, H's fam has never been anything but cool to me; but I think this is when I start developing my own relationships with H's family instead of doing everything thru H. Does that make sense? I'm not good with families, since my mouth basically has no filter on it. I'm always afraid of saying just the wrong thing and offending everyone. I've done that lots of times...and it almost always sucks.

We need to get our engagement pics taken soon. I want to put the announcement in my hometown paper so people can be jealous of my happiness. That'll be sweet. ;-]
Also been pricing wedding cakes. They charge by the serving, just like caterers. All I can say is that it'd better be the most delicious cake anyone has ever heard of. I'm still looking at non-pro bakers, but we might just splurge on one of these proffessional types if we don't find a great one. I was looking at a chick in Ann Arbor, but then she won some kind of Food Tv cake contest and her prices have doubled. Dang.


Nov. 20th, 2006 07:37 am
wednes: (Default)
I forgot to mention, I got comic book in the mail from [ profile] paulcurtis signed by none other than Clive Barker. Don't you wish you were as cool as me? I know... Many thanks, Paul.

Trying to break 35K in the NaNoWriMo today. Having a guest makes it more difficult. I'd much rather cook, socialize and just hang out than buckle down and think about story. At the same time, the first half of the book (the part that's already written) is the sane part. Now it's time to write the Crazy Part. And there's nothing I do better than writing the crazy part. ;-]

Yahoo mail is extremely irritating right now. They don't want me to comment to LJ from there, and I'm having all these security issues with it, despite checking my setting twice to make sure they're right. Also, I started marking my spam and spam instead of deleting it. I thought that might give me less; instead it has more than doubled. Fie!

I picked a thing for the honeymoon. Okay, I can't really afford it, but wouldn't that be sweet? They have shark tours where you can stay on the boat and they draw the sharks to the surface, or they'll take you out to where they're feeding and Air Jawsing and stuff. There's even a tour where you can meet Rodney Fox. I know!

IMO These have been pretty accurate for a meme. So I did mine, and was not disappointed:

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

wednes: (Default)
I was really going to try to stop talking about Steve Irwin. H says I need to stop thinking about things that upset me. But if one more person says he "deserved what he got" or that he "exploited animals" I'm going to punch them in the face. What the fuck is wrong with people? I can only assume that they never watched his shows or listened to him speak or read anything about him. It's ass hattery of the first order.

Speaking of animal related Ass Hattery, The geniuses over at the Monterey Bay Aquarium have yet another White Shark on display. Unlike the last one, which was accidentally caught in a fishing net, this one was caught on purpose for the sole reason of displaying it. This is after their first shark had to be released because it was killing other animals in it's tank. Apparently the workers at a major aquarium didn't quite realize that white sharks are dangerous to other marine animals. Guess they didn't watch enough Steve Irwin.

In much, much, much happier news, George Romero is preparing to do a new zombie movie!!! From the looks of it, it will be a damn sight better than Land of the Dead. I dislike that movie more every time I watch it. This one though, looks like a cross between an actual zombie movie, and Blair Witch Project. My own zombie script is set largely in the woods in rural upper Michigan. I'm sure when I finally meet George in person, he'll be damn impressed with it.

Last night, we watched The Cavern, which is also called WIthIN. This is one of those movies that, to get any enjoyment at all, you need to keep in mind that the budget was alarmingly small. A wide variance of performances, some very bad, some pretty good. A fairly flimsy script made up of typical stock characters in no-brainer circumstances with only the vaguest hint of depth. The killing scenes were all a big cheat, though the aftermath was gruesome. Once things got going, it was a bit suspenseful.
I realize they were in a cave system, but there were far too many moments spent in total darkness. Open Water makes the same use darkeness in leiu of special effects to a lesser and far more effective degree. The ending was rushed and didn't have anything to do with the bulk of the film. It was quite abrupt as well; I was a bit impressed with the level of risk taking involved, but overall I think this movie falls flat on many levels. Since it only cost $4 for both of us to see it, I won't complain too much.

My Interests Collage! )
Create your own! Originally Written By [ profile] ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by [ profile] darkman424

wednes: (Default)
I woke up this morning to find this news printed by H, sitting on my desk And I was like Hey, is this for real, or is it a gag? And he assures me that it was for real.

The first time I saw Steve Irwin on TV, he jumped into the water from a tiny boat to remove this croc from the water. He finally got it onto this muddy bank, and Terri jumped on the back of the croc (he was on the front) and they didn't have anything to cover it's eyes with. So he told her to tear his shirt off. It was like croc-porn or something. I was embrassed to find it as arousing as I did, frankly. But I never missed an ep after that!

When H and I were really short on cash (because of me, why else) he didn't have much to spend on my birthday gift; so he got me this (the one with the snakes on it) because he knew how much I loved Steve Irwin. And even though this is shouldn't logically be a terrible, horrible shock, it actually is.

A sting ray? A Sting Ray?!?.
This guy has handled the ten deadliest snakes in the world. He swam with sharks, wrestled crocs, and has braved terrains I didn't even like looking at pictures of. And he starred in one of the worst non-horror movies I have ever seen. I can't beleive a stupid little barb is what ended his life. And he wasn't even ten years older than me.

I am pretty sad, even though my doll probably just quadrupled in value.

Steve Irwin probably taught me more about animals than Jacques Cousteau and Jack Hanna put together. Plus, he was nice to look at and really, really brave. I suppose one could say that he didn't respect the danger enough, or the animals enough. If he didn't have tiny kids, I'd say it's cool that he died doing what he loves best, and all is well with the universe.

Since he did, I'll just say "dang" and turn on some Animal Planet.

All internet humor aside, I am really bummed.
Luckily, I have plenty of Croc Hunter Croc Files on tape.

Edit: HA! I just looked to see if anyone else posted about this.
It seems that EVERYONE posted about it.
You people and your opinions...sheesh! (some of you guys are mean)
wednes: (Default)
The second most influential guy in the history of telelvision is no longer among us. Aaron Spelling had the audacity to die of a stroke without ever taking on Norman Lear in Celebrity Deathmatch. He was 83.

As much as I decry the dumbing down of American television, I have to admit that I have enjoyed many of Spelling's shows over the years. I loved Fantasy Island as a kid. In fact, I even loved the new Fantasy Island...what little there was of it. In my young adult years, I went through a Melrose Place phase...that even moved into my watching The Models Inc once a week with my VERY stoned comrades.
Besides, TV has become much more dumbed down since Spelling. Even he thought reality gross-out shows were stupid. As stupid as the OC? Yes, and probably moreso. It's a sad commentary on our viewing habits when we, as a nation, are pining for the days of Burke's Law or Dynasty. But there you have it.

So, Mister Spelling, now that you are gone, I officially forgive you for releasing your perpetual wedgie-having offspring, Tori Spelling, onto an innocent world.

In other death related news, Patsy Ramsey died without confessing on her deathbed. I guess I'm out $10. ;-/

And my beloved Fabien Cousteau narrowly averted death even though he was attacked by a Great White Shark while tooling around in his little Shark Submarine. Not to be a ghoul or anything, but I cannot WAIT to see that that I know he's okay, of course.
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As you may know, I had a disappointing rejection earlier this week. It left me pretty bummed, even though they did ask me to submit when I had something else. So it's not all bad. I also found out I can't even get an interview to work at the Michigan Theatre. Frown.

Last night I decided to query another publisher via Email, in addition to the one that should be going out today (if my mailing guy is able to do it, anyway). When checking my Email this morning, I saw that I already had a response. Dammit! I think, knowing that any response this soon is not good news. I second guess the very idea that I could sell a book to a publisher, nevermind surviving reviews and finding an audience. How could they reject me that soon? Why wouldn't they at least LOOK at it? My query letter is pretty good now, and my first three chapters are killer and grabby. Woe is I, whatever shall I do?!? etc.

Finally, I find my figurative testes and open the damn thing, which reads:

Dear, userinfowednes,

Thank you for your initial submission to [name withheld] Publishing, LLC.
We are sending this email to confirm that we have received your
synopsis and sample chapters and are able to open them without any problems.

You may expect to hear back from us within the next four weeks as to
whether or not we would like to see your full manuscript. If you do not
hear from us after four weeks have passed, please feel free to contact us for an update.


A. Publisher.

So I guess, once again, I just need to chill the hell out.
Maybe I'll go for a nice, relaxing swim.

Did I already mention that I had to quit the NaNoWriYear?
Fuckers and thier mid-year changes!
wednes: (Default)
Took some time away from procrastinating to watch Raging Sharks. It had aliens in it. Aliens that make sharks rage. I realize that they need something to intensify shark behavior for horror movies. Thanks to Shark Week most people know that sharks aren't into destroying our boats or willfully chomping us. Alien intervention is a whole nother story. That, a lack of an FX budget, and a much more horrible cast separates this movie from say, Deep Blue Sea.

I was able to watch this movie in about 45 minutes since I fast forwarded through a lot of "plot" featuring truly horrible casting, acting, dialogue, photography, sound (what's up with all the growling?) and I'll mention the acting again because it was just so painfully bad. The shark attacks were bloody and pretty cool even though they used certain stock shots too many times. Plus, why did they keep going out in the water when they knew there were Raging Sharks afoot? I mean, staying away from water is a pretty easy way to not encounter sharks. The whole painful experience was totally worth it to see a school of Raging Sharks lay waste to a beach full of happy, swimming families. Oh yeah, and Corbin Bernsen stood out as giving the only non-painfully bad performance.

Of course after watching so much tasteless violence, I was ready for some tasteful violence. Happily, The Krays came on IFC at 3am. I'd never seen it all the way through, and it was a damn good watch. Billie Whitelaw is amazing as always as Violet Kray, and the twins who played the Kray twins kept me mesmerized. Good, strong, bloody stuff. Do catch it if you're into such things.
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I treated myself to some used DVD's today. I almost never do this, but I bought two things I'd never seen because the buzz was so damn good. Specifically, I got Wolf Creek which I thought was about Sawney Beane. Actually, it's about Ivan Milat. I had actually been confusing it with 2003's Wrong Turn in my mind. But this one will be much better, I presume. Although Wrong Turn was not half bad, and Jeremy Sisto is quite nice to look at.
Next up, I finally scored a used copy of Raging Sharks which I've been wanting to own/see since I first heard about it courtesy of [ profile] sweinberg and his kick ass horror articles. I predict that I will find it delightfully horrible (maybe even as bad as Ultimo Squalo although James Franciscus and Vic Morrow far outstrip anything we might get from a Corbin Bersen performance). Suffice to say, I'm damn excited.
I have to go to bed in a bit since H insists on seeing X Men 3 tomorrow at 10:30am. I wanted to go on Tuesday, because I hate crowds and how people always talk during the film. I'm all for cheering, yells of terror or excitement, laughing etc, but conversations about your kid, your mom, or another version/segment of the film really need to wait until lights up. He wants to go tomorrow since he got the day off so he could sleep before the wedded bliss of [ profile] uterdic and [ profile] smarbaby commences on Sunday. Anyway, Kelsey Grammer rules, and so shall the X Men.

I was about to go out this evening when I found this note taped to my door:

It certainly would be a kindness if you allowed your little cat at least some time by an open space--somewhat opened window or doorwall. Animals need some access to Life Forces of the outdoors. We can go in and out but your pet does not. Sincerely, Your Neighbor

I have to tell you, I found that extremely presumptuous, rude, condescending, and creepy. First of all, my doorwall is open for several hours a night, every night, even in the rain. The only time it is not open is when it is over 70 degrees at midnight, which I think has happened once so far this spring. Besides, I think I can safely say that anyone who doesn't think I take my cats' well being seriously doesn't know shit from shinola. I can only assume that they think the door is never open because they are Day Walkers and haven't seen it open. Anyway, I was pretty mad, so I wrote a note and taped it up by the mailboxes:

Dear Anonymous Note Leaver,
Thank you for your interest in my cats. I am always pleased to know that there are other cat lovers around. However, I am uncomfortable and confused to learn that a stranger would be watching us or making strange and incorrect assumptions re: the care of my animals.
If you continue to have concerns, why not stop by and introduce yourself rather than creeping me out with an anonymous note? Thank you. Sincerely, Wednes (phone number attached)

I hope my reply was not too fucked up. H hates it when I "make a scene" but I am far too angry to do nothing.
I mean seriously, the nerve!!
wednes: (Default)
Your instructions:

Go to here.

Watch, laugh, send around.

Repeat as neccesary.

Twenty Five Feet of thanks to userinfoeroslane
wednes: (Default)
Peter Benchley died through no fault of sharks.

In all seriousness, I don't know how to feel about Peter Benchley. Of course Jaws, both the book and the movie, scared the crap out of me as a kid. It's still pretty scary when you watch it today even knowing that sharks would never do what "Bruce" did. Of course it looks like a very fake shark NOW; but I'm telling you it was scary in it's day.
Please, after I read Jaws (I was maybe...ten or eleven) I was afraid of all water...swimming pools, freshwater lakes, bathtubs, washing machines...forget about it. Terror. Abject terror of sharks...of being eaten alive...of not being able to see what might be lurking around unhidden.'s scary.

So scary in fact that it led to rampant sportfishing of sharks and a near dessimation from which they are only now starting to bounce back from. Some people assert that the shark population was never in danger and/or that the only good shark is a dead shark. Honestly, netting around beaches kills more sharks than fishing does. There are very effective ways to keep from being attakced by a shark, such as staying on land. When things you didn't invite come barging into your living room, you're either gonna chase them away or kill them. So we can't really blame sharks for being interested in us. Plus, they're awfully nice to look at.

Benchley did spend the remainder of his life working with people like Mark Marks and Ron & Valerie Taylor (who did principle shark photography for Jaws) working on shark conservation and education. There has to be something to be said for that.

Thanks for the scares, Mr Benchley.
May I terrifying half as many people as you, Good Sir.

Never seen the Jaws tour at Universal? Watch a tiny video of it here!
wednes: (Default)
There hasn't been any cool shark news to report in quite some time. Yeah, a few people have been attacked, and more of them are "fighting back" and surviving and all. Newsflash: if sharks actually wanted to eat people, we couldn't go into the water at all. And we certainly couldn't "fight them off".

Contrary to popular beleif, the Great White Shark is a mere third in the rank of man-eaters and shark attacks on humans. Both the bull (shark) and the tiger (shark) are more aggreessive, and more likely to kill a human for the purpose of eating it.

However, these are not the scariest sharks in all the sea. Some people assert that there are still Megalodons floating or...swimming around out there. I don't think so. But I've never been to the depths of the ocean. And after seeing Open Water I don't think I ever will.

Above is a recreation of the megolodon recently reconstructed by the San Diego Natural History Museum. It's cooly cool. But Wednes, you may ask, How big were these Megolodons, REALLY?. Well, to be succinct, Pretty Goddamn Big.
wednes: (Default)
Oh man...I'm sitting here watching this Nigel Marvin thing about sea monsters. It's really well done and I was totally sucked into it. However, they just showed a megalodon and they had it look just like a Great White. Sorry to say that the lastest science suggests that the megalodon is actually closer related to the Tiger, or perhaps even the Bull shark. I hope it's not the bull, those were the most aggressive. Although I suppose the chances of my running into one are scarce at best.

I went ahead and signed up at NaNoWriYe again. Hopefully I will fare better this year than last. I was pretty pumped last year after winning NaNoWriMo my first time out, so I wanted to keep going. But there was a bunch of stupid admin drama and then a bunch of shoddy-ass moderation and community organization. It was kind of a mess. Plus I was writing about Clarence for awhile and that didn't really gt off the ground because of all that happened.

K and N were over on Saturday. We finally watched Kinsey, which was excellent. Funny, poignant, and kind of sad. Lots of great performances and did I mention that it was funny? Well, sex is funny and movies are often funny, so I guess that all stands to reason. Chris O'Donell called his wife in the movie a "prick nibbler". Can you imagine? It was hilarious.

I bought H this Akira Special Edition thing from ebay. It looked fine to me, but then I found out that later the auction was cancelled and the seller banned. The worse part? I did the "buy it now" option, so I've already paid for and recieved it. I'm fairly sure I was swindled, because it didn't come in a tin like it was supposed to. It was shrink wrapped and I didn't want to open it because it was a gift. I suspect though, that it is a copy or something.
Actually, I thought it was okay because of the shrink-wrap; which is silly of me since I already know from my BBuster days that any idiot can shrink-wrap anything if s/he has access to the machine. I don't even have the email anymore (I deleted it when the item arrived, shinkwrapped).
So I guess I'm just boned. I thought I'd just give H the thing early and tell him what happened. It's a drag though, I'm working my ass off to make him a bountiful, gifty, Xmas because he so deserves it. I still have not secured purchase of GTA for PSP and Resident Evil 4 for PS2. So I'm kinda bummed about that, too. I hope they are not too hard to find, otherwise he'll get a gift certificate, and who knows what he'll buy with it. Maybe something without any zombies in it. *gasp*

Oh man...they just put a crittercam on the megalodon. Amazing!!!
wednes: (Default)

And they really need to stop perpetuating negative stereotypes about sharks.
wednes: (Default)
Aside from some minor household cleaning, and functioning on very little sleep, I didn't do much on Sunday except watch delightful things and have a cheesburger.

Happily, Lifeboat was on at noon. I had never seen this movie all the way through, so I watched. I'm sure most of you know this, but WOW!! Hitchcock rarely ceases to amaze me. Solid characters, horrific circumstances, and still fitting in his cameo even though they were all on a lifeboat. If you've never seen it, do add it to your netfix cue.

Then, it was time to see Corpse Bride. Some people had said they couldn't understand the lyrics to the songs, but I did not have this experience. It was a fun movie, cool to look at. For once, Helena Bonham Carter (Burton) was not horribly miscast. Great voicework and incredible stop motion animation. Look for the "Harryhousen" organ (no, the one that's like a piano, you pervs!). Many delightful characters, including a worm who talks like Peter Lorre. Damn, I loves me some Peter Lorre.

Took a tiny nap and got up to record Sunday Night FOX, not initially realizing that it would be the last new Simpsons ep until Nov 5th when the new Treehouse ep airs. Not wanting to spoil myself, I haven't looked to see what they're parodying this year. Hopefuly, I can have it be a surprise.

Sadly though, I'm tapped out financially and will have to ride the bus to all my appointments this week and next. Let's hope it doesn't rain on me.

And finally, in Shark related news, it seems that The Monterey Bay Acquarium is having trouble catching another Great White Shark. --the hell? Am I the only one who remembers they had to let the last one go because it was killing other sharks and growing too large for them to handle? Are they hoping to find a Great White Shark who doesn't grow or kill prey? This does not seem like a reasonable goal. I know there've been a lot of shark attacks this summer, but I don't see how capturing a live shark is going to quell that. And they've already killed sharks trying to assimilate them to captivity. So hear this Monterey Acquarium: you did it, you kept a shark. We were all very impressed. Now, stop it. If you're looking for something to do, why don't you go help out the New Orleans Zoo?

TV Tome?!?

Jul. 21st, 2005 11:58 pm
wednes: (Default)
What in the world happened to TV Tome??? I just came from thier website and it looks like it's been bought out by some kind of high powered conglomerate that doesn't know how to make it's links work properly. I'm hoping that whatever happened is very recent and they are ironing bugs out of it or something. But I suspect that it just plain sucks now and I'm going to need another go-to site to get my episode guides and such. Any suggestions?

I've been going to group with more regularity these days, and therapy as well. Plus tomorrow I'm seeing my employment counselor guy to tell him that I want a damn job ASAFP. They were talking about carving me out a job in an advertising agency. I'll be so Melrose Place! "I'm a poweful advertising executive. Dig my short, short skirt!" Of course I'll still be reading tarot for people; and maybe I'll even expand beyond 5 paying customers and K. That would be nice.

Another Harry Potter thinky )

In other news, Shark Week has been okay so far. Not as great as I'd expected. Tonight was an hour on the guy who was purportedly the inspiration for Jaws. I don't mind telling you that 60 minutes (okay, 42) glorifying the murder of sharks for sport is not what I'm looking for in a shark show. The only difference between this guy and Vic Hislop is a boat load of tourists.

They showed Air Jaws today. It was awesome, as usual.
wednes: (Default)
So I'm watching some show about a Robot Shark. It's actually pretty cool. It's so fooling to the other animnals that it has a real remora swimming under it. Adorable!

Robot Shark swims around to investigate and record all these different shark know...incognito. It can do that since it's fairly ambiguous looking, so far as sharks go. It was really amazing to watch. Then Robot Shark went somewhere else and got totally chomped on by these crocodiles. I don't know where they were because I was listening to itunes and we don't have the subtitles anymore on the TV.

Anyway, it was kind of sad to watch poor Robot Shark get chomped.

The scientist guys made another one though. I think he's called Robot Shark 2.
I bet it won't be as good as the first one; they almost never are.

Note: this is not to be confused with Troy, the Shark Submarine that Fabien Cousteau has been tooling around in as of late. That one is definately supposed to be a Great White (or a blue pointer for you's in the UK. Do you's still call them that?)
wednes: (Default)

H ate so much sour candy, he put a chemical burn on his tongue.

It's gross.

Plus, what are the odds of two people getting two separate chemical burns from simple, around-the-house items in the same year?

Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket.

Anyway, we're going to see Batman tonight before anybody else spoils it for me with thier careless-ass posting. I also have my plan in place to see Land of the Dead on Saturday night. Wheee! Zombies.

New, scary shark attack article.

And now, I'm off to computer class!
wednes: (Default)
You ever have those kind of period cramps where it just feels like you're being kicked in the stomach every few minutes until you just wish Flanders was dead? Me too. My back is aching and I'm exhausted despite getting plenty of sleep.

Got my old Casio keyboard returned to me after many moons away. I still can't really play piano, but I'm pretty good with scary background music. For some reason, I can't find my purple "wah" pedal that I bought to go with my theremin. So if whomever I loaned it to would be kind enough to return it to me, that would be nice.

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon was on again last night. I watched it while playing computer solitaire and it was delightful once again. That's the Sci-fi channel movie where they tak stock footage of sharks and superimpose the actors being chomped over them. Plus they poorly copy such films as Jaws, Alien, and Jaws 2. Ha HA! Later, some "bad" guy jet skis right into the mouth of the megalodon. Funny though how the shark that's supposed to be the "Meg" is actual a great white; top sharkologists (okay, ichytheologists if you want to get technical) assert that the Meg is actually closer related to the modern Tiger Shark than the white. In case you didn't know, I wanted to be a shark scientist when I was a kid.

Later, the original Cat People with Simone Simon was on. Both of those movies with her are amazing. She's so sexy, and evil. Plus it fits right in with the theme of my current novel, which is coming along slowly. Hopefully after the move it will all be easier. I want to have it finished by late September so I can work on my zombie novel for this years NaNoWriMo. Mmmm...NaNoWriMo.

Last but no least, or maybe least--I don't know. Anyway, I didn't send Walt anything for Father's Day.
We haven't really talked in months except when I wrote to update him on some publshing stuff. He just doesn't seem very interested, so I guess I'm not either.
wednes: (Default)
It seems that the good people at the Monterey Bay Acquarium have decided to release thier coveted Great White Shark back into the wild. Aside from it attacking and killing other know, like an apex predator might...they decided that large animals are more dangerous than smaller ones. Hence, they are releasing the shark before it get's to Jaws-esque proportions. Good for them.

They claim that she is still in great shape and will be fine in the wild, despite being adorned with a rather silly looking radio collar that will spy on the sharks activities in the wild for the next month. Kind of like those ankle bracelets they put on parolees except the sharks' only crime is being interesting. I hope the shark is really healthy as captive white sharks tend to deteriotate quickly health wise if kept captive for any length of time. For those of you who don't know, sharks hate electricity (and no...I don't mean like in Jaws 2) so they are very bothered by pumps and filters and lights and all the other crap they use to make an acquarium pretty so people will come look at it. In fact, some ocean-side states have experemented with useing electric current rather than shark netting to increase effectiveness and kill less sharks. Because sharks can't swim backwards, they get caught in the nets and die at a rather alarming rate. However, the electric "netting" is more expensive and is rarely used.

I really do love sharks, I just think they're neat.
And that's why I despise Vic Hislop, even after all these years of despising him!

Feel free to join me in hating Vic Hislop.

Shark Research Institute USA
Info on Shark conservation UK
wednes: (Default)

Oh, and here's this thing:

My LiveBrownie status!
wednes: (Default)
Thanks to [profile] nate100101 for hipping me to this amazing story.

Um, anyone here ever seen Jaws 3-D? That's the one where they keep the white shark alive in captivity at Sea World, in the 80's. And it's fascinating because at the time, they had never been able to keep a white shark (a "blue pointer" for you Ausssie types) alive in a tank. And until recently, they still hadn't.

Great White Shark breaks captivity record in Monterey Bay Aquarium. While I do find this fascinating, I'm not a big fan of keeping any sharks in captivity. But what do I know? I love going to the zoo!

Anyway, now that they have a white shark in captivity, they are surprised that it is biting and killing other sharks in the same aquarium. Um...duh? One would think that, as the proverb goes, they knew it was a shark when they picked it up.
wednes: (Default)
Open Water is, to a lesser extent, akin to Blair Witch project. People seem to either love it or hate it, with very little middle ground. Also, almost everyone who sees it can't wait to tell you how they feel about it. That "hype" is how small films like this get noticed. Not much advirtising, but everyone who sees it has to tell everyone they know about it; especially horror fans and the lesser included "shark fans".

Spoilery Goodness ) So in short, brush up on your Shark Week and check out this film! I can't believe it took me so long to see this film. In truth no one wanted to see it with me, I guess I'm just a big lame.

Speaking of sharks, here's a pic I like to call Diver learns U-turn in record time!
wednes: (Default)
All I'm saying is, if you're name is Fabien Cousteau, and you're one of the famous Cousteaus, and you're an oceanographer who specializes in sharks... it too much to ask that you NOT be so DAMN sexy?

Because I'm watching this sharky program, and he's pretty damn sexy!

And, here's a little something for fans of the elder Cousteau: That's right! You can eBay your very own model of The Calypso!!!
wednes: (Default)
Big tough man with fishing pole kills giant mako shark by removing it from water!

But you's still pretty scary. The top pic looks like one of the three rig sharks from Jaws. Sharks are fascinating, and even though they can and do kill people, we kill 10,000% more of them than they kill humans. While I hate the idea of films that stir up hatred of sharks, I can't stop watching them.

Nowadays, most of the really big sharks have been fished to death, they simply don't get to live long enough to get really huge. Lots of places protect them, but they still get tangled in fishing nets and in beach nets because they can't swim backwards. It's actually pretty sad. Not to mention that sharks are apex predators and fishing them out means an explosion in seal and sea lion populations. And THAT means that I have to pay more for fish at the grocery store. Okay, I'm getting off on a tangent.

My point is, you can kill a shark with a fishing pole. It's not really even that dangerous.
And while I'm outraged at the idea of anyone killing sharks for sport (including that damn Vic Hislop), I still am fascinated by these kinds of stories.

I mean Damn! Look at the size of that shark!
wednes: (Default)

Toothy Shark Toothy Shark

This is a picture of a scary shark. There is a lot of blue, and I am posting it to see how the posting feature works. So there ya go!

H and I had chinese food for dinner. I had deluxe rice noodle and some chicken. Me likee chicken.

Went to the Village to scope things out, it looks like they just arrived there today, because it's basically the same as when we Madstoners left it. They are indeed showing first run movies, and have 2 copies of Shark Tale for when they opne this Friday . Adults $7.50 in the evenings and $5.50 matinees every day. So even if I don't work there it'll be a good place to catch a movie.

Plus I changed all my user icons to scary ones until after Halloween.
Enjoy the horror!


Sep. 11th, 2004 02:18 pm
wednes: (Default)
None of you took the time to add my good buddy [ profile] cmdavi_70 even though i told you how great he is. So I guess you don't have enough information. He is AWESOME, and he is my old boyfriend from college and we're say...12 years into the whole "lets just be freinds" thing. Because if you are a mature adult, you can be friends with your exes if they are not complete tools. Ever find that?

Anyway, Dave is an excellent writer and has a great deal of interesting life expereince. He has similar taste in films to mine, but much mor eclectic tastes in music. My own taste in music is pretty average and run of the mill in case you hadn't noticed; while my taste in movies is snobby and stubborn. He works with kids and is pretty sexy.

I do know enough about music, however, to know that this is sad news for guitarists everywhere:

String maker for "God" dies in California

Jaws 3 is on TV right now, the one in 3D. And it ever terrible.

The reason Jaws was a good movie is not just because of the big, scary shark that does things no shark would EVER do. It is compelling because you have enough background information on the characters to make you care a great deal about them. Quint is like that Ahab guy with his whale, which is why he has to die by it. And Hooper is not having an affair with Brody's wife (as per the novel) so we get to like him too. And a island sherriff afraid of the water? Le mou jouste! People have been trying to copy Jaws and I daresay The Italians did the most hilarious job. I love this rip-off with Vic Morrow as "Quint" and James Fransiscus as "Brody".
Plus, you know...Jaws manages to be genuinly scary with a PG rating and no swears. This is particularly evident in the scene where Quint smashes the radio, thereby dooming the crew. Brody reads him the riot act (aka, gives him the what-for) with no swears at all...yet in a completely convincing way. Plus I love that scene where Quint smashes the beer can and then Hooper drinks out of the styrofoam cup and smashes it making that mean face. Classic.

Now I'm off to bake. I'm trying a new Sweet Oatmeal bread for the party. But in case it sucks, I'm also making a yellow butter cake with chocolate frosting out of a can. So if that sucks, you can blame Duncan Hines, not me.

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