wednes: (Wednes Poison)
You may have heard that The Finster Effect is available for purchase as an eBook and an Audiobook. What you may not know, is that members are not impressed. If you've listened to it, or read it, you might want to pen a wee review and help a sistah out.
I have a small number of FREE codes for reviewers. Not sure yet who's gonna get those.

Been listening to the audiobook for Kiss Me Like You Love Me The reads are fantastic. I am most def the weak link as far as doing voices. After a few tiny edits, it'll be up on Audible for approval. Then it will go live and you'll be able to hear it. I'm stoked, since it's so good.

In horror news, I am now the editor of an eHorror mag.
I have a name for it in mind, but don't want to tell you until it gets approved.
This should be a ton of fun, and allow me to flex my editorial muscle.
wednes: (Hail Ants!)
I disagreed with Jon Stewart last night. Aside from his occasional making fun of fat people--it's rare that Stewbeef and I disagree. But I don't understand the problem with the IRS "scandal." Groups get zillions of dollars from giant corporations, and they don't have to tell anyone where it comes from. Said groups then get to spend that money however they want--so long as they don't "coordinate" with a candidate. As we learned last election season, "not-coordinating" can involve being someone's parent or child, being their BFF, or even being their former coordinator. We saw churches telling congregations who they should vote for--threatening them with hell if they didn't. Yet none of these people paid taxes under the guise of being community based. Really?

So now the IRS is in the wrong for saying "let's look at groups that are advertising themselves as political?" Well duh. If I start a business called "Wednesday's Pot Emporium" and one called "Wednesday's Earthen Jars" it should not surprise me if one of these names gets more police scrutiny than the other.
I'm not clear on how this makes Obama a monster, or how this means the nutter screaming that the nigger Kenyan is coming for our freedomz is suddenly correct. I admit that I think the Tea Party is a oligarchal monster pretending to be an offshoot of ACORN (funny how grass roots organizations are awesome when they're for freeedumz).

In the end, I'd like to see Elizabeth Warren and Al Franken in charge of absolutely everything. Guys like Boehner, Paul Ryan, et al can give all their money to the poor (as Jesus commands) and get a shit job working at Wal*Mart.

As for me, I've got a zillion things going on, only some of which are firmly poised to blow up in my face. I'm also reading Under the Dome, which is seriously adding to my stress. I found out that the bad guy, Big Jim Rennie is being played by the DEA brother-in-law from Breaking Bad. Good call.

H and I invited another couple for dinner last night. We used our tax money to get a vacuum cleaner, so we're less embarrassed to have people over now. I made falafel, quinoa with veggies, and hummus. They brought choco peanut butter brownies, and some baklava. Mmmmmm...
wednes: (Kiss Me Like You Love Me)
Coming soon to wherever the hell you buy new reading materials.

Re recording of audiobook continues this week. I am reading 2 parts, though that won't be common knowledge even though I'm about it online. I'm supposed to hear the new narrator audition soon, so hopefully that will go well. The problem with casting that is that I don't know how to tell an actor how to give me what I want. I just know what sounds right, and what doesn't. As usual, the hard part is casting the Indian accents. It's too bad my favorite NP at the clinic isn't also a voice actress. Or maybe she is, I've never asked her.

My review of John Dies at the End is up. I review the movie, not the book. Do people actually read books anymore? ;-]

In worst things that could possibly happen news, my computer is on its last legs. This saddens me, since 100% of my money earning and roughly 80% of my interpersonal communication takes place via computer. Jojo broke the click bar and I don't know how to disable it. It clicks and/or stays clicked at random times even though I never touch it. No idea how I'm going to get another one, since H said it cannot possibly come out of the house budget. Why, oh why did I invest in those pajamas!?!?!?!
wednes: (Found Wednes)
I enjoy Valentines Day. So fucking sue me--as soon as you're done complaining about it, I mean. If you really find things to hate in hearts, candy, and couple-flavored fun, I might humbly suggest that you're a bitter crank? Did Cupid run over your dog or something? Giving people cards, candy, and small gifts is totally fun and nice whether it's for your partner, your sibling, or the harried single mom in the next cubicle. If you really can't bring yourself to join in the fun for some crank reason, at the very least, stop trying to ruin the good times for bitter fucking crank.

To whit, I got H a Blu-Ray copy of Flash Gordon (the movie with the kickass Queen soundtrack). It was astonishingly cheap and has awesomely heroic Alex Ross art on the cover. What? You don't like Alex Ross either? Damn, you ARE a crank.
I also got H a book about the making of Star Trek, Next Generation. It is really thick and cool and has an introduction by Ronald D Moore, who H is very fond of. He's already read me some fascinating stories from it. We're having Valentine's Day today because H works on Thursday. I'm making his favorite dinner tonight: chili con carne--which we call Chili.

H is in the kitchen right now, making a cake. Yeah, you heard right. He did this once before, and I literally talked about it for years. I even called his mom to tell her, back when she and I were friends (before the wedding). He's making the same cake again today. It's a flourless chocolate cake that requires him to melt chocolate in the double boiler, separate eggs, and whip cream by hand. I sure as hell don't do that when *I* make a cake.
See kids, that is romance. Not about money and mall jewelry necessarily, but about stepping out of your comfort zone to do things you wouldn't normally do. We're poor as shit and may never own a home or be able to retire. But we have a wonderful life, mainly because we're good and kind to each other.
And we don't have any kids. ;-] I don't know how people do that...

In other news, the marketing gig is being written off as a big bust.
Dang and Fie! But fuck that guy.
(Ha! That totally rhymes)
Kiss Me Like You Love Me is in editing and will be getting a new cover design--mainly because I don't own the rights to the other one. I won the battle to not have Mikey on the cover. Yay for that! It should be back out as an E-book in a few weeks, with the audiobook following as soon as I can schedule the recording sessions. A Stabbing for Sadie will be next.
Still looking to pick up part-time work in writing, editing, SEO, marketing, and the like. So if you know anyone...I'm WAY better at social media than say, whoever is doing that for Applebees.
wednes: (Wednes Poison)
I don't leave the house much since I quit Ye Olde Day-Jobbe. When I say "not much" I mean pretty much never. Before today, when I went to the doctor, I hadn't left the house in roughly one month. That's crazy. Crazy. Even thought I know it sounds bizarre and unhealthy, I don't feel particularly inspired to make any changes on that front. Then I want to wonder why that is. People suck, going out costs money, and everyone can shut up. Yeah, that's why.

Even though I'm well aware that part of good health is luck, access, and a few other things people can't control--I feel pretty good being told that I'm healthy enough to omit some medication. They told me that last time too, so I'm slowly stopping drugs for everything that isn't bi-polar disorder. I've pretty much resigned myself to those--unless H dies. Then it'll be some kind of crazy-pants free-for-all. So yeah, HAES wins again.
And for the first time ever, when I said HAES to the nurse, she nodded like she actually knew what I was talking about. I wasn't sure she did though, so I started to ask her. She motioned to her full hips and round belly and said "Yes, I'm familiar with that philosophy." Good deal, since I almost had to go to the clinic that has the terrible nurses.

Getting ready to start the new audiobooks. We're using Audible/ACX for The Finster Effect, and then my audio guy and I are doing new complete audiobooks of S4S and KMLYLM--also through Audible. I'm stoked.

I wanted to try that Wen shampoo that's supposed to be awesome. However, $30 a month for shampoo is Right Out. So I'm trying a Walgreens knock-off Wen, now that it has finally arrived. Report to follow. I'm hoping I can continue to treat my hair like complete crap, while still letting it grow out. If I want to fulfill my dream of having long, grey hair, I should probably start conditioning now. I do notice than Wen says to use 4 giant handfuls of their product on my hair, whereas the knock-off stuff says just one handful.

Oh, and in case you missed the news, I broke down and got a Twitter. @WednesFri is me. I still don't know if Twitter is case-sensitive. I dig the concept of just blathering online to celebs like I would to my friends. A responsible person might only do that kind of thing while sober--but I think we all know better than to think *I* will do that. Brian Keene retweeted me yesterday. There seem to be a lot of tweeters who make it their mission to get retweeted by famous people. If I were famous, I would never EVER retweet anyone who asked. But the mere fact that I have an opinion on this already makes me look like kind of a tool.
wednes: (Snakes on a Plane)
H wanted to watch Flash Gordon today while we were eating our pancakes.
We decided that Flash really could use a Hollywood facelift.
As such, we've decided on a cast:

Flash: Chris Hemsworth (because it's Hollywood)

Ming the Merciless: Patrick Stewart

Aura: Zoe Soldana

Zoltan: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Klytus: Ian Glen (Sir Jorah from Game of Thrones)

Dale Arden: Ellen Page

Hans Zarkoff: Robin Williams

Prince Baron: Bradley Cooper

General Calla: Angelina Jolie

*makes grabby hand motion*
Funding Please!

While I'm here, I did put up a new podcast ep today. Chaps 31 and 32 of Kiss Me Like You Love Me. It's a good 'un too. The new Mikey is creepy as shit!
wednes: (Heart Horror)
We went to see Prometheus, after making 1 million jokes about Jay Sherman's student film. Because, seriously...

I liked it very much, as did H.
Funnily enough, we watched A.I. last night. I'd never actually gotten around to seeing it. I thought it might make me sad. Yeah...
A friend described it as "greif porn." That pretty much nails it. It's wrenching, all the way through. It should have ended much sooner. It was like Logan's Run in that way--there were a few good places to end it, but it went on and on.
Still, it was a cool movie with a great cast and I'm glad I sat down and cried my way through it. I'm stoked for what will happen when Haley Joel Osment reemerges as a grown-up actor. Maybe he and Lucas Haas can play stoner brothers in something? Anywhoo, watching A.I. put me in a weird space to watch Prometheus. Plus, both movies had an artificial person named "David."

So yeah...Prometheus. An Alien Prequel/Spinoff
Thematically, it's the most *important* film in the series. Spoilers lurk here. )

No, Prometheus wasn't what I was expecting. And I'm glad of that. My favorite thing ever is when I don't see the ending coming. Prometheus was awesome in the truest sense of the world. I almost wish I'd seen this at age 22 on LSD. I'd have felt like every question in the universe had been answered and I could move on to more important things.

Speaking of universal questions, I have finally posted a detailed article about why I loathe The Evil Dead. It is my hope that I will never have to answer that question again. Please, horror peeps, link to your friends. I keep hoping for a ZZN flame war and I never get one.

In other news, I got a call about a job I'd love to have. Will be phoning them back tomorrow. Details to follow, if applicable.

Oh, and the Frankenweenie trailer makes it look like a delightful watch. I have to laugh though, because even among his animated characters, Tim Burton casts the same ones over and over. That is totally the kid from Vincent, and the dog face from Nightmare Before Christmas, and a couple of people from Corpse Bride. But hey, it's Tim Burton, so you know it's gonna be some fun watchin'

New podcast tomorrow. Kiss Me Like You Love Me. Yay!
wednes: (Dimitri)
H and I got this for Christmas, and it's totally taken this long for me to post pics of it. I know, right?

Get it? CAPRICA? Toaster? Hahahahahahahaha!

I forgot to resize one of the pics, so it's going under a cut for hugeness )

In other news, recording with my first child actor went swimmingly. He was enthusiastic and professional. I learned that a lot of the same skills one uses in customer service also help when working with children. There are pics of that event, but they will not be posted here. Sorry...

My interview with Night of the Living Dead's Judith O'Dea is now posted over to the Zombie Zone News. It's a really good one. She's a delight!
wednes: (Wednes Logo)
New Yoga DVD is kicking my ass. Seriously, kicking it.
I can't even get through the first 25 minute segment. I are weak.
But soon...I shall be strong. *kicks guy into pit* THIS IS WEDNES!!!!

Had a delightful exchange on the Facebook with Marilyn Wann. I told her I had a shirt with her book cover on it, and she said I must be super badass. Duh. I told her I needed a shirt apprising people that Ms Wann thinks I'm badass. Ha!

Am working on my first article written entirely with Dragon Dictate. It's a cool program, until I take a short break and start singing along with the iTunes. There's a lot to like about Alcatraz. Sam Neill has long been a boon to horror and why do I give valuable time to people who don't care if I live or die. Yeah, it's silly. Still, DD knows a lot of great nerdy words. It understood that Daleks and Wookies do not go to Hogwarts. Ha again!

No new book reviews in some time. If you owe me a review, you better gets to writing it! Another great interview up at Zombie Zone News. I loved this guy's book and thought he was a great interview!

Alcatraz is pretty good so far. We're giving it a whirl. I'm not going to write a whole big thing here since I'm working on a thing for AC. Also looking into writing for Horror Web, as they are needing new writers and the contact guy seems nice.

The podcast is becoming a stressful pain in my ass. I will be very happy when I no longer have to fuck around with these. By which I mean that I hope I don't have to produce The Finster Effect myself. The cast is too friggin' huge anyway.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but both Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich have been two of the most hated men in contemporary politics for years. Santorum has been a hateful bigot for at least a decade, and Gingrich has been saying shitty things about minorities and the poor since I was a teenager. So why is anyone taking these pricks seriously? How is that even possible?!? Thanks to Dan Savage (and yay for him, I say) we simply cannot have a president Santorum. We just can't. Gingrich has always been a complete bastard. Mark Maron used to talk about him back when he was crazy smokin' hot. Maron's still attractive in a goofy way, but I guess every man can't age as well as John Schneider. Seriously. John Schneider is hotter now than he was when I was a kid.
Or am I just saying that to get you to watch the Super Shark musical trailer???

Because that's just the kind of thing I'd do...and he's all the way at the end.
Still, it's a marvelous trailer. Just delightful.
wednes: (Springfield Wednes)
Yeah, so I was supposed to get caught up on all the work I've been slacking on due to The Finster Effect. I didn't realize how difficult it would be to get anything done with a houseguest. I kind of figured H and Girl-H would be out seeing movies, going to the arcade, or just generally not being here so I could work. But no. I've barely gotten anything done since Friday. And oddly enough, H got totally attitudey with me when I asked him to clear out so I could record before Girl-H woke up. I didn't make it, and a 20 minute recording took well over an hour. And I still have to edit, mix and post it. I'm super pissed off though, so I'm getting stuff off my chest so that anything I write today doesn't turn out sarcastic. I have to edit and post the Save Evans City Cemetery Chapel article, and draft that Dead Mann Walking book review. Spoiler Alert: I liked it!

Come to think of it, I was pissed off yesterday. Still sick--food poisoning, I think. Had to go to work and every single call I took was some older-than-Moses person who wanted me to explain how the internet worked. 'Tis the season for people who know less than fuck-all about the stuff they want to buy for their kids and grandkids, nieces and nephews, and then they want to argue with me about the stuff they know nothing about. For the record:
--There is no key of 6. Key signatures are in letters, genius.
--Cellos do not require chinrests.
--A viola needs four strings, and 13 inches is NOT "as big as they come."
--You can't use a pencil, vaseline, or tacky glue instead of rosin.
--The bow does not have strings on it. It has hair. Horsehair.
--We do not sell "vegan" bows. Fake bowhair sounds like ass.
--Everything that costs more than $20 is not necessarily a "ripoff."
--No, I will not transcribe the music before I send it. Even if I knew how, I wouldn't.
--No, I will not drive to the post office to stop your package because you ordered the wrong thing.
--No, it is not a good idea to leave a water resistant case out in the rain, idiot.
--No, I will not give you a discount just because you asked.
--No, you cannot have free shipping because you're a long-time customer.

Plus, my November sales bonus that I intended to use to buy Girl-H's gift was not even big enough to buy the warranty for her gift. The bonus scale already screws part timers because it's based on a 40-hour work week. But now that they've given me a zillion other jobs to do, I have even less time on the phones to make sales. Combine that with the fact that they took our holiday pay and I'm down a couple hundred dollars a year before I pay for a single cab.
Long story short, I really need to get the hell out of that place.

Quickly, TV-wise:
--Dexter is rocking my socks. I still really want Deb to die, though I love her more than ever this season.
--American Horror Story is consistently awesome and continues to kick my ass. Last week's reveal was truly magnificent. I heart Tate.
--Still watching Terra Nova. Meh.
--Boardwalk Empire finale was terribly upsetting. Fuck Eli.
--Bag of Bones is on the DVR, hopefully I'll have time to watch soon.

To sum up, I'm cranky and irritated and have tons of work to do.
Off I go then...
wednes: (Heart Horror)
Have you kids been listening to my incredible, FREE audiobook podcast, Take a Stab at THIS!? I and my meager editing and mixing skills spend some quality time with a few kickass actors, composers, and musicians to bring you all manner of scary shit. You can find chapters of both A Stabbing for Sadie and Kiss Me Like You Love Me. Roughly the first half of each book is there. That's not just a clever way to encourage you to buy the books, it's also a way to let me have a life by producing one new episode every month. Would you believe when I started this, I thought I was gonna do a new ep every week? Yeah, right...

This weeks ep is a departure from the book chapter format. The Happy Couple is a short story about a disgruntled cabbie who is not having a very good day. You might even recognize someone you know in there *wink*. The podcast eps are pretty short, usually between 10 and 30 minutes, with a few of the short stories being even shorter than that.

So take a listen, either at my site or at the iTunes.
If you like it, why not write a review, tell a friend, or otherwise spread the word?

In novel news, The Finster Effect keeps getting better and better. Past the halfway point on the final draft before it goes to the editor. Need to start looking for a place in town to host my book release party in April. If any of you's know of a good place, do let me know.
wednes: (Mockery)
The day-job is alarmingly not-shitty so far this week. In a mere 5 hours, I'll be off until Friday. Nice. We have a few new peeps who seem pretty good, and I'm happy to know that we're actually doing some hiring. Kind of tired of seeing working people get shafted over and over.

Heard from a person recently who literally believes homosexuality is a choice. I am baffled as to how someone who's ever been in love, or a teenager, can make that claim. Didn't everybody go through that phase when you have a mad crush on someone and couldn't get them out of your head no matter what? Can't study, everything reminds you of them, dirty thoughts etc? You have no "control" over those feelings. You can't switch them off or redirect them at another person, or another gender. You'd think the staggering numbers of gay teen suicides alone would make it abundantly clear that getting your ass kicked by dumb jocks and disowned by your parents is not a "choice." Michelle Bachman's "ex-gay" husband not withstanding.

Book went to Beta Readers yesterday. I anxiously await their commentary. Taking a break to catch up on interview Q's, podcast editing, articles, and a short story I've been pondering for a bit. I keep thinking that if I do enough networking and virtual mingling, that eventually I'll meet that one person with the power to propel me to fame. Truthfully though, it seems like successful writers are so because they work and write their asses off.
Hard work, feh. ;-]

The budget? No, I'm not discussing it. I'll just mention that I have enough faith in Obama to say that I think he's got something up his sleeve. He has a way of busting out with the good stuff at just the right moment. (Giggity) I believe in you, Barack.

And finally: Fuck, I'm tired.
wednes: (Default)
These last two rat chapters are kicking my ass. They are gonna be awesome, it's all planned. But man, I'm having a terrible time getting them down. Have to mix and post a new short story podcast tomorrow. This one features vocals and music from a bunch of peeps from my day-jon instead of my usual cast. It's a fun one.

I lost one of my Z for Zombies earrings. Sadness.

Kind of flailing on the freelance stuff. Associated Content keeps saying my pics aren't acceptable when they follow their guidelines to the letter. I don't get it. The only place online that I'm writing regularly (besides here, obviously) is Zombie Zone News. If you haven't already checked it out my interview with the director of Bong of the Dead is pretty funny. I really enjoy doing the interviews, but I gots to be makin' some money. Sadly, writing about zombies has not been very lucrative thusfar. Thinking I might start a horror column at Suite 101. The pay doesn't appear to be very good. But if it's only stuff I like writing, it might not be so bad.

Falling Skies is just interesting enough to keep me watching. I wouldn't say I love it or anything. It's fairly predictable, but the skitters are cool. New season of Futurama has been okay. True Blood is off to a slow start.
wednes: (Farnsworth/zombie jesus)
Contrary to the drunken conversations I've been having since high school, I will be going to my day-job tomorrow even though it's the day before The Rapture. Granted, a Friday night shift promises to be largely devoid of actual work. And I'll be coming home to stay up all night and write. Or wandering the desolate earth, looting and crying out for my lost opportunities to bond with a non-mexican named Jesus. Either way, I'll be working on The Finster Effect.

To paraphrase a movie I like:
This book is so goddamn good, it makes my heart hurt.

Still have not figured out the source of my podcast audio issues. Garageband produces stutters in the vocals, like the reverse of a skip--repeating a small segment of the vocal so it sounds like a stutter. Sometimes it does it two or three times in succession. I don't understand it. I don't know how to fix it. And I'm tired of it making me look like a chump. The Apple Geniuses were NOT aptly named in this case. It's not my recorder, it's Garageband. It's not related to memory, or disc space. Anybody have any ideas?

Are you guys aware of Poe? Not the goth horror guy, but the sister of the guy who wrote House of Leaves? She's a singer, and I love her. Her voice sounds like Sheryl Crow, but not annoying and not singing about being drunk, or on the beach, or drunk on the beach.

Anyway, if I'm wrong and this Saturday really *is* The Rapture, I'm going to feel very silly. Eternal torment for refusing to kowtow to the HDIC (Head Deity In Charge)? That's like a forever version of a bad customer service situation. Oh, so you refuse to believe in me just because there are no concrete signs of my existence?'re letting the fact that I've hidden myself from your kind for hundreds of years get in the way of the blind obedience some of your people claim I require? Well, then that's the last time I try to bring salvation here!
And being stuck on the earth while all the godly pious types ascend? That's gotta feel like having to stay at work after your shift ends because of a tornado. Really? I don't even have to be here anymore and I'm still here? Hmmm...nice cars around here. I'd probably be a pretty good driver if there was no one else on the road.
wednes: (slow death)
This week is my doc appointment to discuss why I am unlucky enough to be victimized by recurring kidney stones. I gotta get to the bottom of this, as I am at the day job with another fucking stone. I'm gonna try and stay here, but nobody has anything stronger than ibuprofin. If I get a MedMar card, does that mean I can come to work high?
Seriously, these things are kicking my ass.
Happily, a co worker was kind enough to go out and fetch me a Peanut Buster Parfait.

In better news, I'm wearing some fly wide-leg pants I got from the fat-chick pantsery. They are pretty awesome, though could do with some laundering and some slight shrinkage. I got a few pairs of new pants recently so I could stop wearing ones with ripped out hems or JoJo snags on the upper leg. I always feel much more together when I have nice threads.

Came in to work to find my sweet calendar that H made me is mysteriously missing. I thought maybe the cleaning lady just knocked it down on accident, but I and coworker looked everywhere it could have fallen. It is nowhere to be found. I'm irked, because occasionally my pagan stuff goes missing (the pic on the calendar is my logo arranged in a repeating circle to look like a witchy star) and I later find out that it was stolen by some well meaning Jesus freak. If that has happened to me at my workplace, I promise you that I will be utterly humorless about it. Speaking of Jesus' fan club, 2 of the cookies I made for H's mom will never reach her, because I have them with me. Bwah hahahahaha!

Tonight is guacamole and a movie with a friend, followed by podcast mixing and posting, then noveling that is expected to last all weekend. Yay. Somehow the entire month of April went by without me ever posting a podcast ep. Oops. KMLYLM ch 21-22 will go up next, then a swell short I've been working on with 100% people from my day-job.
wednes: (Farnsworth/zombie jesus)
At Ye Olde Day Jobbe once again. It seems that the less I am here, the more coming in seems like a giant, annoying inconvenience. I want to stay home, wrestle with my Crazy, and finish this book. And kids, let me tell you that The Finster Effect is shaping up to be a damn good book. No idea if it will be done on time, but I'm totally going for it.

Killed a character last night, and not the one I was planning to kill. A lot of sad things are happening in this book. I guess Darabont and his penchant for zombie drama is rubbing off on me. Maybe Bear McCreary can score my book trailer, LOL. Speaking of which, I'm thinking that I will produce a book trailer this time around. It'll probably only take 3 or 4 times as long as producing a podcast ep. I'd just have to muddle through iMovie in a slightly better fashion than I muddle though Garage Band.

Glenn Beck's show is getting canceled. Before we celebrate the reemergence of sanity, let me remind you that this has everything to do with advertisers, and nothing whatever to do with conscience, reality, truth, fairness, or balance. Beck became so batshit crazy that pretty much only cheap gold hawkers, dehydrated food and bomb shelter companies, and Depends undergarments will actually advertise on his program. It doesn't mean that his batshit audience is maturing or regaining their sanity.

My annoyance with politics is once again, forcing me to take a step back. Every time Mike Huckabee opens his fat mouth, I just want to sock him in it. Fat bashing aside, all this Christian Nation bullshit gives me a rash. The biggest bite of it is, they don't actually want a charitable, kinder nation. When they say a Christian Nation they mean anti-gay rights, anti-choice, pro-war, and posting their Jebus rules on every building everywhere. Somehow, they also mean pro-death penalty, no gun restrictions, and violent rhetoric as far as the eye can see. They are no less "death to the infidels" than the fundie muslims they're always bitching about.

I have no problem with someone who says "I love Jebus." My issue is with those folks who think anyone who doesn't love Jebus is a Satanist, terrorist, amoral, evil, or trying to ruin this great Xian nation of ours.
wednes: (Elephant on Trampoline)
Well, because you guys are so great. Only a handful of people are actually reading this on DW. My loyalest fans (not to be confused with loyalists, which I totally skeeve) are still over to the livejournal. While Facebook does take up most of my internet time, I gotta blog. I just gotta. I'm so self absorbed, I think people I've never met want to see pics of me when I was little!
But I digest... [sic]

Here is a GIANT pic of me dancing with my cousin at my Aunt Barb's wedding: )

Put up the new podcast ep just now. Chapters 19 and 20 of Kiss Me Like You Love Me now available at my site, and on the iTunes. Chapter 20 is way far violent and you should only listen if you're into that sort of thing. For serious.

Read a review yesterday for the most recent anthology I appeared in. It's the first interview that mentioned my story specifically, and now I can't find it. Maybe it will show up on Amazon. The publisher on this is a real go getter, and he's pushy but not rude. I like him a lot.

Had lunch with my favorite aunt today, my mom's sister--Aunt Barb. She's pretty great. We went to iHop and had a 2 hour lunch full of family talk. Last time we went out, I let her know that she could give my current phone number to my mom--which she did. My mom didn't call, which is not a surprise. I've actually given my mom my number several times over the years, which she has not used. Ah well...what can ya do?

Today I plan to finish my Q's for Bear McCreary (I'm interviewing him via Email for ZZN, in case you missed that news), touch up my hair color, rewrite a chapter so it makes some goddamn sense, watch Sunday's ep of Big Love, and start my article for the ParaBlog. Ladies who Survive promises to be a great series despite a lame title.

Got new pants in the mail today. They are purple with a pink stripe up each side. They fit a little loose but I bet they will shrink when I wash them. I also got the first underwire bra ever that doesn't make me want to tear it off after wearing it for an hour.

And finally, I am seriously considering using this as my author photo on my next book:

It is also my Email response when people write to ask me why I have to write such unpleasant things. ;-]
wednes: (Queen of <3's)
This past weekend, I did my first ever appearance at a body-positive event. Preemptive disclaimer about the kind(s) of fuckery that will not be tolerated in the comments. ) These kinds of things are also referred to as "Fat Acceptance," "BBW/BHM events," "Health-at-Every-Size" initiatives, or may be associated with NAAFA or similar group. This particular one involved a new group called Love Your Body Detroit. The event was a fundraiser called BODYSLAM. There were vendors, poetry and prose, foodstuffs, and an art display--The Vagina Show to be exact. I like vagina's as much as the next person, but stuff like this is just silly to me:

I am so much more than my vag (excuse me, my yoni), my period, etc.

Anywhoo, it was held at the Trumbullplex. The chicks were awesome, the crowd was fun, there was a chick selling underwear with a diagram of uteri printed on the front, and some that said "yes means yes." There was also an artist named Alex Heberling who did a great drawing of me. Once H scans it, I'll be using it as a profile pic here and there. Eventually, I'll teach the world that not all women in horror are barely 18, half-naked, and repeatedly falling on their asses after tripping over nothing.

A few pics from the evening )

Oddly, there aren't any pics of me at the show. There is, however, some video. I've never actually posted a video of myself online before. Because you see...I'm pretty fat. Not someone who could be confused with chubby, no. I'm She'd be so pretty if... fat. AKA, Doesn't she know she could drop dead of a heart attack any second?!? fat. I exercise every day. Really. And while I do love cheeseburgers, I generally eat pretty well. I feel a great need to explain (read excuse) my weight, and insist that when judging me, people factor in my thyroid, depression, medication, etc etc etc so they know I'm trying. So they know I'm not lazy, not a gluttonous pig, not any of the things they assume I am based on my size. I am so uncomfortable looking at the footage of myself at the event, that it's a damn good thing I showed up.

Yeah, I'm fat. I'm also a goddamn genius. I'd take that over being a skinny idiot any damn day of the week. I couldn't get this vid to upload at my site, so I'm actually posting it publicly on YouTube, thereby making it viewable to the entire interwebs. If people are mean enough to me, maybe I can redeem myself on Daniel Tosh's show. ;-]
wednes: (Wednes Logo)
Some neat stuff has been going down since I started doing my thing over at Zombie Zone News. When I started writing over there, I said something to the effect of You don't have to pay me unless you're actually making money off the work. The editor agreed and within say, a month, he hit me up with some charts on what he's been making and what my cut was gonna be. A week later, he raised the percentage. Cool by me. As much as my dear friend [profile] katie_can_draw tells me that talking about money is important, and emphatically NOT vulgar, I have some difficulty with it.

Since then, I did a piece for Opstandelsen which has allowed me to be in touch with the director and the main actress. I look forward to being instrumental in the publicity for its US release. I am interviewing both of them for feature pieces closer to the release.

The icon herself, Kyra Schon, has agreed to answer a few questions for me. I'm scrambling to find some that she hasn't already been asked a zillion times. That's gonna be tough, since undead journalists have been trying to do that since 1968. During an especially heated political debate at my FB, Russ Streiner popped by to say how much he dislikes Sarah Palin. Double WIN! He has since become my FB friend. I know that is not especially unusual for famous types to add regular schmoes like me. But as I told Mr Streiner myself, I was schoolgirl giddy to see him around the Internets. I've asked him if he is agreeable to a virtual interview. He has not answered back yet one way or the other.

Figured out some of my podcast audio problems. Future eps will be much improved, and I hope to go back through and re edit some stuff. Behind on the new book, I guess that's not really surprising.

My hair is short, and awesomely crazy blue and purple. Observe:

Why I had bedhead at this time of day, I am not entirely sure. I can only presume its a no-hair-combing weekend. Let the casual disarray begin!
wednes: (Wut?  JoJo)
Ah yes, the Gregorian calendar year. Makes basically no sense, has to be adjusted ever four years, and puts the new year in the silliest place imaginable. Anyway, let's reflect on the year, shall we?

Resolutions, how we did last year; and looking ahead )

The year in TV had a few highlights. Unlike a lot of people, I loved the LOST finale. Still haven't bought the last season. I need to though, not like I have time to watch it.
Season 3 of True Blood was delightful. I adored seeing Denis O'Hare all flamboyantly jazzed up and creating discord. Even more fun than the fantastic Michelle Forbes last season.
The Walking Dead has lots to like about it. But not a whole lot that's new. Really, the most unique thing about it is that it focuses on the drama rather than the horror.
Caprica was well written and acted, not really sure why it was cancelled except that SyFy is probably trying to save up to buy more wrestling shows. Jackasses. That they have the nerve to show CGI crapfests all weekend long and then cancel the smartest show they had does not bode well for their future as a nerd approved network. Then again, neither did spelling their name with 2 Y's.
I discovered Criminal Minds this year, bidding Law & Order a fond farewell; and Dexter which made me realize that KMLYLM is darker than I realized.
The year's low lights include season 2 of Hung, V, The Event, and anything FOX plays on Sundays that is not a cartoon.

In movies, I really enjoyed The following new movies:
Harry Potter 7.1
Piranha 3D
Iron Man 2
Shutter Island
I also dug a few movies I'd been meaning to watch:
Let the Right One In
Home Movie
The Road
No Country for Old Men
Inglourious Basterds

I also discovered Jack Ketchum this year. God damn, he is like the find of a lifetime. He has altered the way I look at horror and the writing of it, the creation of fear, boundaries, how to take people along for the ride, how to build suspense without the reader even realizing. He is just fucking incredible. Not being him, I just don't have the words to fully express the profundity with which I adore his work. I was also reminded that some fantastic novels have been turned into some bland, awful films. Sadly, The Girl Next Door is one such instance. I still don't think the people who made that movie understand why the book is good.

As for me, I turned 40 this year without incident. I had a tiny cancer scare and learned that all my friends are wonderful people. My third horror (and best to date, if I may say so) novel was published. I produced my very first audiobook CD which a great many amazing talents supported and participated in. I appeared in my third published anthology and my first hardcover. I had my first classy book release party, and got my first bit of hate mail based solely on one of my books.

Happy Pretend New Year, Everyone!
As the late, great Carlin would say "Bye Bye! Don't let self doubt interfere with your plans to improve your life!" Well, some people need practical advice.
wednes: (Santa?)
If you're curious to know how our holiday was, this is where you can find that out. )

And then, this happened:

Back to work tomorrow for a 3-day week. Dropping down on the hours so I can get some real work done. Have to finish The Finster Effect by the end of summer, which means I'll be working my ass off on it. New podcast ep this week, and new ZZN article and ParaBlog article too. That's right, no more dicking around. Back to the REAL work! Apparently the main difference between being somewhat talented and actually being successful is a metric fuckton of hard work. My new desk setup is awesome, so I really have no excuse for not getting everything done that I need to do. Well--unless that new HDMI cable that lets me watch downloaded vids on my big TV counts as an "excuse." I'm hoping not...but there is an awful lot of Bugs Bunny here.
wednes: (Neville)
30104 / 50000

Have to run out to WAAM in a bit to rerecord some stuff for the podcasts I am NOT producing this month. Next ep will go live on my birthday, November 24th. Starting next month we'll be back to novel chapters etc. produced by me. Not sure how I plan to finish this draft, bake Xmas cookies, work 4-days a week, write for ParaWomen and ZZN, and still produce a new podcast ep every other week. But I guess I have to. How the hell else is anybody going to figure out who the hell I am, right?

Have a big pile of notes on stuff that will need to be rewritten for the second draft of The Finster Effect. The story is coming along fine, but a lot of it is passive voice, and there's far too much telling and not enough showing. Overall, I loves it! These dog chapters are breaking my sad little heart.

Haven't seen Harry Potter 7.1 yet. Didn't make it to the midnight show for various reasons, and have been home all day today writing. Plan to see it tomorrow some time after work. Yeah, working a long day tomorrow, and the shopping orgy madness is well underway.
Saturday night movie crowds are my most hated of all movie crowds. People better turn their goddamn cell phones off and take their crying kids the fuck out of the theatre. I know it's PG-13, but for fuck's sake! If you must take your 5-year-old to that movie and pretend it's not scary, at least take them to a friggin' matinee. Thank you.
wednes: (Stabbity)
This sucks. It's one of those Monday mornings that shows up and you're like Really? But I didn't even get a weekend! I was at work Friday and Saturday; Sunday I was up by 9am so we could grocery shop in time for me to come home and cook a nice meal for my brother--who visited yesterday. People over all day Sunday, no time to relax much less get any work done. Taking a break from the podcast for the month of November, I think. Perilously close to burnout and will be doing the NaNoWriMo again. Might even post a short story this week since I'm so short on both energy and time.

Working all day today AND tomorrow. Training today, which means nonstop talking and being annoyed and frustrated all afternoon. *sigh* Plus I bought new band-aids to cover up this grossness on my forehead. They are too big and I have to get new ones--which means an extra trip to the store. Sometimes I actually wish I *could* drive. Life would be much simpler.

It was good seeing my bro, as always. Our conversations remain fairly superficial, which is not what I'd prefer--but dealing with those Private types has never been my strong suit.

JoJo is basically back to his old, terrible self. He still needs to put on more weight; but his personality is back and none of his wounds got infected. We are also past the danger time for rabies--so he appears to be free of that as well. Thank Bastet for small favors!
wednes: (Zombie B&W)
If you are interested in seeing my articles over at the Zombie Zone News, bookmark this page because it's where my new stuff will get posted. First up is a compare and contrast of REC v Quarantine that was posted today.

If it reads like I wrote it stoned in the middle of the night...I have no idea why that is.

Speaking of your enjoyment, Chapters 13 & 14 of Kiss Me Like You Love Me are available now on my website. You can also subscribe via the iTunes to Take a Stab at THIS! Chandra kind of sounds like someone is being loud in the background. My recorder is trying to incur my wrath, I can sense it.

And finally, mad thanks to Craig (I have no idea how to link people over it the same?) for sending me a burned DVD of Dark Night of the Scarecrow to tide me over until the new release. It came in a slick Halloween card with Edgar Allan Poe stamps. It's damn cool.
wednes: (Night of the Living MadLib)
I actually got a lot done today. This pleases me. I wrote and submitted my first contribution to Zombie Zone News. It has not been accepted formally yet, so we shall see. It's a fun article comparing REC and Quarantine--a bit trite, but something zombie people still talk about.

I also got the rest of the new podcast ep edited, mixed, and posted. So, you know...Take That, Guernica! I've begun the nit-picky research for my latest ParaWomen article. That drops this weekend. Continuing with the Ladies of Villainy series, this ep is about Evil Queens. No, not haughty gay men--actual Queens who rule lands of yore and poison chicks with apples. I'm pretty excited about it; though not so much about the fact that this series is almost over. According to my notes, there will be 2 more installments after Queens. Then begineth a series on badass female survivors (and shoulda been survivors) in various horror, haute-tension or dark drama movies, books, and other fun media.

Still catching up with Season Four of Dexter. Sadly, someone spoiled me on the big thing that happens in the season 4 finale. I know the internets were losing their goddamn minds over it when it happened. I'm still stoked to watch it all break down, but...damn. I haven't been spoiled this badly since the sixth Harry Potter book. Not only did Snape kill Dumbledore, but someone actually called me out of the blue and told me about Inferi as if maybe I wouldn't enjoy reading the introduction of zombies into the Potterverse myself! I know, that's nerdy and all...but damn. What's the fucking point of going out of your way to make other people enjoy something less?

And now: Tonight's Criminal Minds off the DVR. Then bed, work tomorrow and off Friday to get some organizing done for the NaNoWriMo, and maybe a draft of one of my ideas for short horror stories for young kids. Oh, plus I have to read over the galley for my short story Boris and the Neighborhood Watch, which is another absurdly long title. I've really got to stop that.
wednes: (Criminal Minds)
You may have noticed that I'm still here at LJ despite my rather dramatic announcement from last week. You may suspect that because LJ reversed it's choice to allow sharing of our locked posts, that perhaps I would just go ahead and stay. This is emphatically NOT the case. I fully intend to make the move over to Dreamwidth. They have some cool features and do not appear to be dickheads. So that will be good. My weekend was filled with fun and productivity, so I simply did not have time to do it.

Friday night [ profile] custardfairy drove me to a party at [ profile] sarahmichigan's place. We watched a terrible "scary" movie, and there was food, wine, and hilarious and stimulating conversation. I totally have a girl-crush on a chick I met there.

Saturday night I finally mixed my new podcast ep. The day-job has been kicking my ass and I haven't had as much time to do my real work. [ profile] absinthofheart took me out for a feast at Red Lobster--which is her fave chain restaurant. I had an amaretto sour, and many, many shrimps. Then back to my place for Lips on the Xbox. Once in a while, *I* get to be the loud, annoying neighbor. ;-]

My website hits are way, way down. Having to switch to every-other-week is hurting me much more than I thought it would. I am bummed, but as my main actor for KMLYLM simply cannot get me chapters every other week, this was really the only solution. Once again, fame eludes me and I'm feeling far too impatient to wait for it.

I have one week left to finish watching Season 5 of Criminal Minds. I want very much to be caught up by the Season 6 premiere on the 22nd. I have ten episodes left, and they are all on my iPod. *insert profound and relevant quote here*
wednes: (Default)
Had a meeting with my supervisor today. I always hate when they call me into the conference room for a chat--it's gotten so they now say Can we have a quick chat in the conference room, it's nothing bad. We talked a bit about how I don't smile as much at work. My humor has become a bit more bitter and sarcastic even though I like my coworkers, and indeed, my whole department very much. They gave me a twenty cent an hour raise and assured me that they appreciate me and I do good work. They've been having me train the influx of new kids they hired for fall rush. They seem like a good group. Sadly, one of my favorite co worker's last day is tomorrow. Happily, he's going to take an awesome job he'll be great at. As for my day job, I anticipate a hilariously themed shirt day in the near future.

Finally moved ahead a bit on the zombie novel. Made some choices about the order in which things would happen, and the order in which they'll be told. Major characters from the early draft will be taking a major back seat in favor of some much more interesting characters I've come up with recently. I was going to have a serial killer amalgam loosely based on the Oakland County Child Killer, but then I came up with a much better idea. It's devilishly clever, and I'm pretty excited about it. I've introduced all my major characters, and have decided who is going to be introduced later on.

Not sure what the deal is with podcast actors, but one of my actors hasn't returned any of my many attempts at contact. So I guess I'll be recasting. Seriously though, how fucking hard is it to say "Sorry, I will not be able to do this, go ahead and recast?" Not very, I should think. I spoke with an actress a few months ago that I'm sure can do it. But it will cost me at least $80, which is kind of a lot for the number of chapters it is. Plus I have to bring books to at least one signing in October which will not be cheap.

I've decided that I'm going to get my awesome logo tattoo'd somewhere on my person. Haven't decided where yet, and I'm open to suggestions. Thinking about my inside right forearm, but not sure.

H brought home dinner tonight. Some repulsively decadent burger from the Burger King. Not at all what I should be eating, but very thoughtful of him nonetheless, considering he rode the bus in the rain to get it.
wednes: (Default)
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Me, young: That chick from the new Hairspray, and Huge.
Me, old: Kathy Najimy

H: Laurence Fishburn, duh

Pentelope: a Liger

Joey JoJo Junior Shabadoo: a swath of destruction

Ryan: Harrison Ford

Mark (my brother): Adrien Brody

Mom: Piper Laurie

Fascinating, no?

Just scored an exercise bike for $100. It's being dropped off on Sunday. Didn't even occur to me to ask if it had a weight limit. As some of you know, lots of exercise equipment is not designed for fat people. Not just Wii fit, but other things too. That is smart, because everybody knows that NO fat people exercise--EVER. And if they didn't want to spend $2,000 on exercise equipment that will accommodate their fatness, they shouldn't have gotten fat in the first place. That said, I hope this works out for me, and is not too hurty to my back and legs. EDIT: This did NOT work out for me. Weight limit: 250 llbs. I'd been wanting to get one for awhile but have had far too many expenses lately. In general, marketing a book is expensive. Podcasting is turning out to be expensive too, which leads me to my next announcement:

Our podcast schedule for new episodes is changing. It will now be every other week, instead of every week. Even though our eps are pretty short, it takes a long time to edit and mix them properly. Couple that with my actors also having lives and jobs and families and such, this seems much more reasonable for me. Plus you know, I am also working on what will become the greatest zombie novel since Serpent and the Rainbow. Yeah.
wednes: (Default)

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Was going to get a jump on my editing tonight so I wouldn't have to post my new podcast ep at 2am, as I so often do. But just as I was getting started, I heard a knock at the door. Out in the hall was a big box from Hirt's. Turned out its the thing that I wanted the most--and in fact, I referenced it in this recent post. It was expertly packaged and everything looked great. I put it together but haven't watered it as I don't have any distilled water in the house. And that's what carnivorous plants crave--not Brawndo. ;-]

Today I'll be beginning season 2 of Dexter with [ profile] uterdic. I have to edit, mix, and post the new chap of A Stabbing for Sadie. I made a doc appt for next week, so that's good. And I need to start meeting up with actors again to get some future chapters recorded. The podcast is doing pretty well. I need to find a few more shows to run my promo.
wednes: (Default)
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For the love of God, HELP ME!!
I've been held in a fortune cookie factory for over 30 years.
Your lucky number is 420

I'm not going to finish the JulNoWriMo.
There, I said it.
I've never lost a monthly WriMo before, so it's new to me.
I have decided though, that I'm going to write 50K, I'm just stretching it out to two months. That way, I'll stay motivated and writing but not stress myself out or flake on things that are important. Like today, I have to record the vocal for tomorrows podcast, and cook a big rigatoni for me and H.
Speaking of Take a Stab at This! I've had lots of traffic. Not much in the way of feedback, but a lot of people are looking at it. A couple hundred every day, so that is good news. Sent my lead actor a refurbished iPod which he should be getting today. Might make my life easier to send him the new Zoom H1 recorder my work will be carrying soon. Maybe I'll be able to afford it soon. I still have to buy some copies of my books to have on hand, get new glasses, and then it'll totally be time to work on my Halloween costume, then Christmas and every jackass I know has a birthday in either November or December--the jerks!

Our organic food delivery is coming tomorrow. We're getting spinach (Stop. Omlette Time!) and chard, two pounds of red grapes, and some other stuff. Not exactly sure who is growing grapes in Michigan, though I guess there are wineries here. St Julian's has been around forever. I used to love their sparkling juices as a kid. I ordered a bottle of dressing to go with the great lettuces, tomatoes, and cukes we are getting. I've never been so excited for a salad in my life!

Finished season one of Dexter. Even though I guessed who the bad guy was almost immediately, I thought it was a very well written show. Jennifer Carpenter annoys the hell out of me, but whatever. I'm stoked to get going on season two, and bummed that there's a season 4 spoiler on the cover of the CD set. Thanks, Showtime. You're still not HBO, so just get over yourself already. I do love how so many networks have figured out that people will watch shows if you bother to make them good--and that plenty of people really do know the difference between Art and Product.
wednes: (Default)
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I have a pretty low tolerance for unhappiness, and an even lower tolerance for abject despair. As such, I work only jobs I don't hate even if I could be making more money doing other things. I could make pretty decent money in retail management, or even management at my current gig. I'm confident that they'd promote me if I agreed to be full-time. But I would hate it. I don't want to dread my work, and I don't want to be miserable all the time. Hence the fact that I'm almost 40 and I've never owned a car and will probably never own a house. I'd rather be poor than have a miserable life. I imagine people don't really lament on their death bed that they wish they'd had more money. And I say that as a great lover of material possessions.

Way behind on the JulNoWriMo. I'm right about half of where I should be right now. Not sure I'll be able to catch up, but I'm not going to stress about it. I still have a professional blog I'm working on, and the podcast, and also trying to secure some reviews and take advantage of some networking opportunities. Lots of people owe me reviews right now. If you are one of them, feel free to step your game up! ;-]

So far, the podcasts have been very well received. My daily hit count went up over 100/day between May and June, and so far is up another 100 hits a day since then. Over 1,100 people have hit up the iTunes feed since July 1st, and I already got a piece of hate mail. I wish I'd saved it, but I accidentally deleted my first bit of hate mail. It said my work was disgusting and that I should be ashamed of myself and that my parents should be ashamed of me. I wanted to write back and tell them they should buy a whole bunch of my books--and burn them, and to remember to alert their local media of the event. *snerk* Sent one of my actors a fabulous gift because I'm not paying him. Hopefully that will arrive soon.

The book is coming right along. The intro chapters I'm writing currently will not end up being the beginning of the book. I'm five chaps in and there hasn't been a single zombie yet. The dog POV chapter is totally weepworthy though. I'm gonna start the actual novel with something more punchy, and chompy, with some character being evil. Some of these people are damn interesting and keeping in line with my theory that EVERYONE is batshit crazy, we just don't always notice until it's too late.

I've downloaded James Purefoy in Solomon Kane to watch soon. I'm also gonna check out Dead Girl which I've been hearing great things about. Both Predators and Despicable Me open today. I would like to see one or more of those provided the reviews are not overtly terrible. I'm hoping for good things on both of those. Remember when Aliens came out? I was in high school and we were SO super stoked by its goodness. I've also been watching the first season of Dexter which has really fantastic writing. I don't like seeing Mark Pellegrino play a bastard though, I like him better as Jacob.
wednes: (Default)
Still stuck on the "Dog" chapter of the new book. It's killing me. If I can't punch through it today, I'm just going to make a place holder and move on. After all, JulNoWriMo starts tonight at midnight. I know I said in December of 2008 that I was I was done with the WriMo's. I'm rethinking that, as I'm working on the new manuscript and need to invent some motivation that will make me bust through it while I still have these short work weeks. Come August, my day-job will be busy and I will feel like I don't have a second to myself. So I'll need to be "almost done" with the first draft before then.

My web site was having issues again last night. None of my databases were loading because of some SQL nonsense. They're back up today, and a good thing too. This week's new podcast episode is the chilling tale Whitman, I ain't. It's pretty short, and features a fun reading by [ profile] porcelain72 and music by [ profile] peteralway. If you haven't already subscribed via iTunes, you can find it here.
Not sure how pissed I should be about the website fail. I do pay a bit of money for that and this is the second time in two months it was out for more than 3 hours. Not cool. They should do like LJ and give me free time when they fuck up my site. But I'm not very computery, so I don't know if that's even reasonable.

Looking into getting fresh produce delivery on the weeks when we don't go to the grocery store. If you don't know, once every two weeks (payday weeks, duh) H and I cab it to the grocery store. It costs $20 round trip. We get everything we need, having made a careful list, and don't go back again unless there's some emergency--which is almost never. So we really only get to have fresh fruits and veggies the first week.
I'm trying to eat better, since I've been eating a lot of crap lately. If the kitchen isn't clean and I'm tired, I'd rather order out than clean it and then cook something. Sucks. But if I had a steady influx of fresh produce, I'd be stoked to cook more often. We're also talking about buying less meat and better snacks. We're getting too old to eat like college students 3-4 times a week. And it might not be necessary to keep potato chips in the house at all times. I'm also in the market for a cheap exercise bike if you know of any in the area.

Also planning to dye my hair up all crazy. Going to start by dying all of it either black or dark plum. Then, I'm going to bleach a few streaks in it and do some blue and pink. That's gonna be a riot. Somehow, pretending to be a youthful redhead just seems disingenuous the closer I get to 40. And who knows? Maybe soon I'll be rich and widely-read enough to be referred to as eccentric.
wednes: (Default)
Dang and Fie! I have once again forgotten to ask for Summer Solstice off work. So, I'm here all day today even though it's ridiculously nice outside. Bummer. I'm also kind of pissed at Ye Olde Day-Job right now.
Communication here can be astonishingly poor, especially considering that we're a family-owned company that employs roughly 100 people. At our last All Company Meeting (that part-timers such as myself do NOT have to get up at the crack of dawn to attend) they said we were making a transition from a call-in mail order company, to an E-commerce company that also has a contact center. Makes sense to me. Even Amazon has a contact center.
I gave this some thought. At the beginning of May, I Emailed our VP of Marketing to ask if anyone was pursuing us offering a chat feature for customer service. I would be damn good at that, and told them I wanted to be involved. Found out late Friday night that they went right on ahead and set the whole thing up with no input from me whatsoever. Granted, I didn't single-handedly invent chat support. In fact, I thought of it because the web host I use has that and it's awesome. But an Email a) thanking me for my input and/or b) letting me know they are going ahead with it would have been swell. Even though my department is awesome and my supervisors are totally supportive and great--the company as a whole does not do a very good job of motivating people. In fact, that's my main complaint about the company.

Next ep of Kiss Me Like You Love Me audiobook podcast is going to be late. I'm sad that one of my actors can't get me a 10 minute recording once every 3 weeks. I do mine every other week and they are twice as long. Then again, I only work 4 days a week and do not have any kids. Still, this is such a big deal for me and I'm trying not to stress about it, which is tough when I'm not getting my chapters in time.
Got a bit written over the weekend. So far, aside from figuring out a coherent plot, the toughest part is coming up with a voice for the Dog. That's right, one of the many first-person narratives I'm doing this time around is a dog. I am told that a dog's vocabulary should be about 200 words. That sounds like too many to me, and I'm struggling with how to go about it. I want it to be minimalistic, but still easy to understand.

I guess since I have down time on the podcast, my next ParaBlog post will be early. I'm also guest-co-hosting the ParaWomen Radio show this week with [ profile] kissdbyagnome. That's on Thursday if any of you's want to check it out.

So yeah, trying to be a successful and popular author.
Feeling rather twarted in that endeavor.
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Since going on the new meds, I've found that my tolerance for annoyance has decreased considerably. For example, when people call me at work and begin each call with 10-20 seconds of Um...hi, yes. I want to you need my last name or something, wait--is this the right department? Did I call *business*? Okay um...I bought um...I've been buying with your company since 1972, blah blah not getting to the fucking point blah. How difficult is it to succinctly tell me why you're calling and what the fuck you want? Is it really such a chore to be in the same room as your credit card, your list of things you want to order, or your child for whom you aren't sure what size instrument they need? How the hell am I supposed to help you without those things? YOU called ME! How are you not ready to talk about your issue? Some jackass today told me we "had no right" to authorize his credit card for the things he ordered, because donchaknow he changed his order later in the day? He ended up calling back 4 times and jackassery abounded every single time. So that sucks. Still, I have the kind of supervisors who are totally helpful and empathetic. Still, I'd like for these asshats to NOT piss me off as much as they do. I'm documenting this moodiness for posterity so I can tell the doc about it when I go in for my follow up appointment--which I totally need to make next week.

I'm also looking at distancing myself from all but a few people for a time. I'm finding myself getting really upset about things I can't do anything about. Not only is it painful and difficult to tell a friend I think they need mental help, but most of the time, the friend in question will be completely unwilling to consider what I'm saying. Or if they do consider it, they have a list of reasons they "can't" have therapy, that is so thorough and long that I wonder if they didn't prepare it in advance.
I'm also trying to network and collaborate and do things that I think are important and helpful to my career goals. I feel like I should be apologetic for even having career goals--which likely stems from my mom's ever-present mantra "What makes YOU think you're so special?" I let that discourage me from even attempting to be a writer, and it discourages me still when I'm not watching out for it specifically.

Take a Stab at This! is up and running over at the iTunes. I had to rename some stuff and fine tune the metadata, but it seems like things are moving right along. The Growlers seems to be catching a few people's eye(s). If you get a minute, please head over there and rate, leave a review, or tell a friend. I'm spending a ton of time and energy on these podcasts and I really need them to get me some notice. This week: Sadie Chapter 4.

I'm due for new glasses soon. Yay. I'm hoping to go full-on Granny Glasses with the beaded chain and everything. I found a shop in Ann Arbor that says they have vintage frames, and I think they take my insurance. Happily, the optical insurance I have through H's work is pretty good. So I'm looking forward to that.

In cat news, JoJo (Joey JoJo Junior Shabadoo to you) is a breed called a British Bombay. They are characterized by their unique appearance, including black pads on their little paws. They are way far dog-like. The want to fetch and love running after treats. They tend toward overeating and LOVE human scraps. Um...scraps of food leftoever from the food humans have eaten. Not like, scraps of human or anything. Anyway, they say the breed takes well to being taken outside with a harness. I'm very into that idea, but have never done it before. Facebookers were most helpful in lending some tips and regaling me with their own experiences. The word "drag" was used a lot. That's not really what I'm going for. I don't really know what to look for in a harness as far as quality and safety.
Little help?

This guy...THIS is the guy.

And here's one of both of them, because they are cute:
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BP can fuck off. I'm declaring it. My Jurassic Park analogy notwithstanding, I honestly think their "plan" all along has been to twiddle their thumbs until the fucking thing runs dry. And for that, I say fuck them in the ear until they deaf--just like they're deaf to the cries of the planet, the livelihoods they've destroyed, and animals they've killed through sheer arrogance and apathy. Not exactly an unusual sentiment, but there you are. In other "Duh" news, State of Arizona is also welcome to go fuck itself. Please and thank you.

That kid who destroyed ACORN is at it again, making people he doesn't like look bad with a combination of lies, douchbaggery, and clever editing. Fuck that kid and his minion, and fuck that little minion's wrist. If you go out of your way to antagonize someone, and then cry like a bitch because they pushed you out of their way--go fuck yourself *cue dancers*. I'm sick of people behaving like total assholes that turn all weepy and accusatory when their dicketry isn't well-received. Poor, poor you.

Podcast still moving ahead swimmingly. New promos went out this week. The chick doing the voice of Mikey's Mama has a wild accent. She's southern, but has lived in MI for a while so she's losing her accent a bit. It's kinda fun and kinda ridiculous. You'll have to tell me how it sounds when I post chaps 5-6 later tonight. Looks like I'll be recording with "Fran" tomorrow afternoon, so that'll be good. She's a smoker, so she's got exactly the vocal quality I'm seeking for Fran. Still waiting to hear back from iTunes. I submitted my podcast for review on Thursday last, still no confirmation or link. EDIT: Spoke too soon! right after posting this, my Email showed up from iTunes and I am APPROVED!!!!

I'll be a guest co-host on ParaWomen Radio next week. They've been gracious enough to have me on a few times to talk about my books. This time I'll be filling in for one of the regular co-hosts who is on vacation. Not sure who the guests will be yet, but should be a riot all the same. Ladies of Villainy is still going well over at the Extraordinary Women of Paranormal and Horror. There's another chick writing there named BellaDonna Drakul who I enjoy very much. The fetching and chill-worthy [ profile] kissdbyagnome is over there was well.

Finally, I'd like to bring up the subject of Pleasure. Things that feel good. As you may know, I'm someone who is prone to addiction and excess. It makes sense for me that I follow a path that allows for some indulgence and doesn't equate forgoing pleasure with overall morality. Seems like there's some debate about this in the world at large. You're a smart bunch, so I'll ask: do you think that abstaining from things that give you pleasure makes you a more moral person? What does hedonism mean to you? Is it really so bad to do things simply because they feel good? Are most things that feel good actually bad for you--or is it all too subjective to generalize? So many of the limits we put on ourselves, the criminalization of sexuality for example--it's all just so goddamn arbitrary and nonsensical. Grrrrrr.
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Let's change that, shall we.
At work, we do what's called "Hilarious Friday" wherein many of us do our damnest to be even funnier than usual. For some people, this is cake. Me, I'm always pretty funny, so I have to go out of my way.

I'm not working Friday, because I have to work on Saturday.
So I'll let fly with the funny now:

Needs no explanation.

This is the first commercial I ever made a point of recording on one of my various cartoon videotapes:

In honor of Dr Demento going off the air:

Have a Hilarious Friday, Everyone!

Also, I'm waiting for my podcast, Take a Stab at This! to be approved over at the iTunes. Once it is, you'll be able to search for me there, and download my stuff instead of having to go to my website.
Woot, right? Woot.
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In the middle of 3 days off in a row. Yesterday I recorded, edited, and posted Chapter Three of A Stabbing for Sadie audiobook podcast. It sounds pretty good if I do say so. You can listen or download here! I also recorded Chapter 5 of Kiss Me Like You Love Me so I can get Chaps 5-6 up next week. So that is all more or less on schedule. Next week I don't get that extra day off, which sucks, because I freakin' need it.

Today I need to write my new blog for the Extraordinary Women of Paranormal and Horror. In case you hadn't heard, I'm doing a series on Ladies of Villainy. This week: mothers. It will include: Margaret White, Medea, Norma Bates, Mrs Iselin (from Manchurian Candidate), Tiamata, some real-life bad moms like Joan Crawford, and Augusta Gein, and a few other fun surprises. Do watch for that. There are plenty of other Parawomen and Horrorwomen bloggers at the site, though none so prolific as me. ;-]

I'm way behind fleshing out these intro chapters for The Zombie Novel, which I have not even come close to naming yet. I've got to start choosing shorter titles for things, so this will take some thought.
I'm also developing a new short horror story (about --guess what? A crazy person who murders people!), and a YA short story about bullying for an anthology I'm donating to. A novelists-against-bullying thing.

Last time we went to the store, one of our bags somehow got left behind. As such, I am going to run out of tomatoes (which sucks, because I love to top my hippy hash with them), I can no longer make cheesecake brownies for [ profile] madush69 even though he's working on some awesome promo's for me. I shudder to think what else we're missing that we paid for, but I am very sad. It's only about $15 worth of groceries, but it costs $22 to cab it back and forth to Meijer. Drag and Fie!

The cable situation is not as dire as once suspected. We're still getting a goodly number of channels, albeit NOT in HD. No more HBO, so the new season of True Blood will elude me, even though it starts on Sunday. And no DVR, so I can only watch shows when they are actually on. It's amazing how quickly I got used to DVRing things. It now feels like a total hardship to not have 3-7 eps of Criminal Minds to dig into at any given time. But I can watch anything on network, plus we have A&E, ION, Comedy Central, and Animal Planet. So I can't complain about any of that. Well, I *can* but I shouldn't, because it's not really so bad.

And finally, some cute little kids came by selling candy yesterday afternoon. They said it was for Girl Scout camp. Having been forced into a bunch of that crap as a kid, I bought some. Upon inspection, the candy did not have any sort of fundraiser or Girl Scout logo on it. In fact, it said "2 for $1" on it. Conclusion? I got boned. I'm pretty annoyed that you can't even trust little kids not to look you in the face and lie. I was really nice to them too. The next kid who knocks on my door is getting a faceful of super soaker. That'll learn 'em!
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It's a FREE audiobook story about my favorite thing in the whole wide world.

No...not chocolate.

Not H.

Not wacky tobacky...



Plus, I wrote it. [ profile] madush69 reads it.
A guy I work with does the music.

And you all are supposed to listen to it, because it's goddamn scary.
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Bachelor Party was on cable tonight. I ought to watch as much HD cable as I can while it's still here. I think Tom Hanks is about 12 in this movie. ;-] I remember it being pretty funny, but not so outlandishly ridiculous. It ends with the happy couple riding off into the sunset in a yellow school bus. On the back, instead of "Just Married," it says "Just Having Sex." Not exactly what you'd expect to see on the back of a Catholic school bus. LOL Anyway, it turns out that with Comcast, basic cable with Internets is cheaper than just the Internets by itself. So I guess we're keeping the basic. I don't know how many channels that is. I imagine it will end around channel 65. And no HD or DVR. Drag.

My audiobook podcast is coming right along. My old college classmate, Scott Sigler said if I sent him a promo, he'll feature it on his show. I thought that was awful nice of him. He's a NYT Bestselling author now.
I did an interview recently that will air this morning. Whenever I tell someone that I have an appearance, or review, or interview, they invariably tell me how cool it is that things are "happening" for me as a writer. I don't really feel like anything is "happening." I'm just doing stuff. Once in a while, someone pays attention. Sometimes I meet someone who helps me secure an interview, a professional review, or tells me about anthologies that are taking subs. How do you even know when you've "made it?" It's not as if Weird Al Yankovic does parodies of novels.
I'm networking with lots of writers on Facebook. Some of them have written episodes of shows, or movies. Some have produced video game scripts/stories, and/or graphic novels. I met one guy who writes those novels they release after a movie comes out--like a novelization of a movie that isn't already based on a book. A lot of people don't do novels, but they publish tons of short stories. And the more I'm on Facebook, the more I notice that a ridiculous amount of people have small press novels out. Most of them are not "famous" but many still get invited to lecture and do convention panels. Again, it's all about networking, it seems. I keep waiting for something to click, setting off a massive chain of events that leads to Christopher Moore, Jack Ketchum, and Stephen King all getting together to sing my praises. Plus, we all smoke a joint together. ;-]

If you're bummed because I'm posting less often, check out my strictly horror postings with the Extraordinary Women of Paranormal and Horror. They are quite a fascinating assemblage of writers, actresses, paranormal investigators, and all manner of wild stuff. It's a pretty neat blog, even though I always have to snicker that there's a genre called "Paranormal Romance." Romance is bad enough...but with ghosts? C'mon.

My bro is coming for dinner Monday afternoon, or in about 11 hours. I'm making a spicy coconut/peanut stir fry with chicken and scallops. It'll have pea pods, bok choy, 2 kinds of mushrooms, broccoli, orange and red capsecum, and a bit of baby corn, bamboo shoots, and water chestnuts. I'll serve it with rice, those little crunchy noodle dealies, and crab rangoon. Dessert (from scratch) dark chocolate cheesecake brownies with Heath chips:
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Previously on LOST...

Jack frantically searches for the Final Horcrux, while Miles tries in vain to determine who the last cylon is. Hurley and Dr Melfi stare at a picture of Bob Denver for two hours, then go out for Onion Rings. Clare and Charlie jump a great white shark on some waterskis while holding a baby between them at Joanie anc Chachi's wedding. Suddenly, Desmond calls someone brotha as he gives Ben Linus the ol' one two punch--that ends up being more of a 4-8-15-16-23-42 right in the kisser! Sawyer and Eko wake up in bed next to each other, and notice that Juliet has actually been in the shower all this time, and she used the last of the Dharma shampoo:

I'll just cut this for spoilers then, shall I? )

Maybe it's the new meds, but I'm really comfortable with suspending my disbelief these days. I gotta snap out of it for the new book. You know what they say: The difference between fiction and real-life is that fiction has to make sense.

In kickass news, I was thinking about buying one of those Dharma decals you put on your macbook that have space for the Apple logo in the middle. Neat. But when I looked around for one online, I decided that this was way more amazing, and ordered it from a chick on Etsy:

I'm going to order this to go underneath it:

And there will be much rejoicing.

Stay tunes, kids. tonight I'll be posting chapters 3 and 4 of Kiss Me Like You Love Me: The Audiobook Podcast over at my website. You really should try to catch it. 'Tis a scary, scary thing.
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You know how I took that whole week off work to get my shit straight and deal with the mania? Yeah...I went back to work for 2 whole days and then had to call off. When I went to the docs last Thursday, we decided to try a really low dose of Risperdal. I didn't get the pills until Saturday, and by Monday afternoon I felt way far high. But I wasn't. For reals. I was feeling totally loopy at work and by the next morning I was totally confused and foggy. Got a few extra hours of sleep (like, 6) and felt moderately better. I'm okay today, but I hate that evening out period where anything goes. It freaks H out and I don't like that at all. I feel like I'm punishing him for caring so much, because sometimes I'm just not well. Sucks. Anyway, I'm feeling better. Look ma, no mania!

Was watching TV with H yesterday and a bizarre thing happened. A little box came up on the TV during a commercial for some car or something. It said to click "enter" for more information. Aghast, we decided to click, and it said "click again if you'd like..." basically saying that Comcast would send this company my contact info so I could get "more information." WTF?!? No...
So...strike two, Comcast. Your prices are ridiculously high already, and you nose into your employees business with your drug testing policies. Now this? You are on my last nerve, Comcast.

Moving on LOST lays it out, because that's how they roll. )A show about Miles and Sawyer as cops would crack my ass up...

As for me, I'm gonna record, edit, and post Chapter 2 of A Stabbing for Sadie podcast tonight. My poor Mikey is having some time crunch issues, so I'm still waiting on him. Happily, the new Dami/Chandra is wonderful, so I'm excited to get a bunch of those chaps laid next week. I may have found a delightful Fran as well. So it's very exciting and fun. Plus, I love the theme song for Mikey.

Of course, I am having hard core LOST fans over on Sunday for the whole shebang. Do let me know if you'd like to attend.
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I've never really been a fan of summer. When I was a kid, school was awesome because even though there were bullies and gym class and plenty of apathetic teachers (and some good ones, but the bad ones can ruin your whole day), nobody treated me like I was treated at home. Summer is hot. I don't like being hot. I don't wear skimpy clothes, I don't go to the beach, or amusement parks, or community pools. So--summer doesn't really do much for me.

But now...I only work 3 days a week in the summer. It's our slow season. I have time to blog at work. I get free air conditioning all day, free filtered water, and I enjoy my co-workers. So that's all good. As it happens, this summer has been okay thusfar. The kids are gone, so it's easy to get a cab. And some things are coming together fairly well.

My doc appointment has led to the addition of 1mg of Risperdal to my daily pill intake. I don't care for the term anti-psychotic, as you might imagine. I don't fancy thinking of myself as someone who needs a pill to not be a psycho. But that's mainly connotative. In truth, it's supposed to even out my mania. And at this low dose, it kind of reminds me of Zyprexa. It makes me kind of sleepy and makes everything feel soft and nice--sort of like being stoned. It's also giving me the munchies. Seriously.
Happily, this pill comes into my life the same week as the badass recliner I just scored for my living room. It's a Lay-z-boy and is pretty damn comfy. I'm gonna write a short story about as soon as I figure out what horrible thing is hiding inside it. ;-]

My most difficult podcast casting dilemma worked out for me as of yesterday. I found someone who is able and willing to read both Dami and Chandra for the low, low price of $10 an hour. So that is sweet. My new biggest dilemma is that my Mikey is short on free time and is having a tough time getting the chapters to me. I'm okay with waiting a bit, because he's really, REALLY good. But I'm also antsy and nervous because I'm like that.
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Let me begin with a belated pic in honor of all you mothers out there:

Obviously, I could have gone a lot of different ways with this: Margaret White, Mrs Vorhees, that wench from "Mother's Day," Augusta Gein, or even the mom from Flowers in the Attic. I went with a classic, because that's how I roll.

I've been craving the kind of food elementary kids eat for lunch. Bologna and "american cheese" slices, tiny chocolate puddings in a little cup, if I'm not careful, I'll find myself drinking colored water out of a little plastic barrel. This week, I bought chicken and pork bologna instead of beef, and Meijer brand "american cheese" slices to save $5. Not sure how it will taste. At least I didn't buy WonderBread or Miracle Whip. When a processed foodstuff sounds like it has magical/mythical properties, it's probably best not to eat it.

Today is the first official day of my week off. I'm not back at work until this Saturday. Today is mostly spending time with H. We're gonna play Left 4 Dead 2 DLC: The Passing. Then perch, salad, and cornbread for dinner; and a viewing of The Box which we have not seen yet and which did NOT get good reviews. When H and I first got together, we talked for hours on end, almost daily. One day we were talking about old TV shows, and we both remembered one ep of Twilight Zone remake in particular--and after talking at length about it, we realized that it was based on "Button, Button" by Richard Matheson. Matheson, of course, being responsible for some of the best horror TV and movies of all-time. For serious.
Tomorrow, recording with my Narrator, then LOST, then writing. Wednesday is audio editing and writing. Thursday is my doc appointment, and writing. Friday is open for now, hoping that the lovely userinfokissdbyagnome will join me for lunch or some such. And then more writing.

Finished Off Season by Jack Ketchum. Goddamn. He scares the hell out of me, even though this was his first book and he got even better. I read the Unedited version, which means the version he didn't have to compromise on. The apathy of my publisher is a drag some times, but I'm glad he's never made me cut anything I felt was important. And I had a little scare over the elephant story in S4S. But it's in there, as some of you know.

Went to Blockbuster over the weekend to spend some gift cards I'd had forever. Scored copies of Analyze This, Precious, 9, and The Box for $17 total. Wanted to buy Home Movie as well but they only had it as a rental. Turns out, when you start a new account at Blockbuster (I hadn't been there since I got married and couldn't remember my old phone number) they give you a free rental with "no return date." So I'm keeping their rental copy. Ha! I really do love that movie and am stoked to watch it on my big TV. Downloaded Incredible Shrinking Man for iPod yesterday, just for fun.

My Bic lighter just died. And I don't have another one. Drag.

And finally, my new Audiobook Podcast, "Take a Stab at This!" is now live on my website. Pod-o-matic wanted a LOT of money to host all my eps there. Since I'm already paying for a site with purportedly unlimited bandwidth and storage, there was no reason in the world not to put everything over there. You can listen at the site, download FREE mp3's, or subscribe through iTunes to get automatic updates. Pretty sweet, eh? New eps will go up once a week.
And for the love of all that is scary, please tell your friends!
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I've been feeling overwhelmed and unwell to the point of actually contemplating a short hospitalization. Of course, I have a job and therefore can't afford that, because I'd actually be expected to pay for it. Also can't afford the med I've been prescribed, so I'm going to see if I can get a ($50) appointment with the mental health doc they now have at my local community clinic. I want to discuss some med options and see if there's anything that might help me without making it so I can't get to my Crazy--which I need for writing.

My boss is giving me most of next week off, per my request. Aside from my own personal Crazy, my day-job has been kicking my ass. The last two weeks have been fucking unbearable, they really hung us out to dry. Like Christmas times a million, plus web support we are in no way trained to provide. I'm working tomorrow and Friday, then not again until the following Saturday. In that time I will sleep, edit and mix audio for podcasts, and outline the new book. Then I will sleep a bit more, play some Xbox and watch a few movies I've been meaning to watch. It will be glorious. I am getting pretty damn excited for the new book to start coming together. Zombies, you know.

Have you guys read Under the Dome yet? I got it for my birthday, but the I started reading Jack Ketchum and haven't stopped yet. But I'm thinking about picking it up during my week off, since it isn't really a good book to carry around in your purse. Will the ending make me mad? (You know how some Stephen King novels end like he couldn't think of anything so he just stopped writing or flipped a coin or something? userinfowednes
no like.) With that in mind, should I read it?

Speaking of Jack Ketchum, I think I got banned from posting at his Facebook fan comm. I posted something about how the movie version of The Girl Next Door sucked, and how whoever made it didn't seem to understand why the book is so goddamn good. Then, I couldn't post over there anymore. That's a drag, but I was being absolutely sincere. I adore Ketchum's work, and it infuriates me that someone would (or could, I suppose) make such a sub-par movie out of such an impressive book.

H and I watching a silly little zombie movie called Insanitarium. I expected that it would be laughably bad. It was almost good. Had some very cool elements, even if they weren't well fleshed out *snerk--zombies? fleshed out? Hahahahahaaa!* or well-acted. Supposedly, nanotechnology made the zombies, but aside from telling us that verbally, there's nothing else on nanotechnology in the whole movie.

And finally, if you're like me, you've been waiting for Google Chrome for mac to finally allow you to organize your bookmarks. It's still in Beta, but they have fixed that and I am now using it to great affect. Yay!
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Why I think I have PMDD. Cut for girliness. ) Cue Internet research and the suspicion that I have developed PMDD. So...what do I do about it? No, I'm asking.

Have been given a small writing project at work. Seems the plan is to let me do a few things to demonstrate that I am able to write in a way that will benefit the company. Writing well about things I'm not necessarily into is challenging. I'm also finding it difficult to strike a balance between casual rapport and professional discourse. I am pleased that our VP of Marketing is taking me seriously, and confident that I will rise to the challenge.

Cut new vocal tracks for chaps 1 and 3 of KMLYLM audiobook podcast. Took just over an hour, and was really outstanding. The guy doing it is an old buddy of mine from the Heathen Ranch. I hadn't hung out with him in years, which is stupid because he's right in town. He used to have super long hair, but now it's regular dude hair length. Anyway, that is going well and I am pleased. Also picked a new theme song for S4S audiobook podcast. Remixing that today, hopefully. I'm feeling mentally shagged so I might just make cookies instead. ;-]
Pretty soon, the podcast (now titled Take a Stab at This!) will be up and running on my website. You can listen to them there, or download them via the iTunes. Once I have a bunch of episodes I'm going to put them up on Podiobooks, where all the cool kids are podcasting their audiobooks.

This week I have four opening shifts. One of which forced me to cancel lunch with my favorite Aunt. *dislike*
I know a lot of people get up early every day. I am not those people. I mean, there's a reason I'm almost 40 and still working shitty customer service jobs. I can't do that 9-5 thing how people do. I hate waking up in the morning--it is physically painful. I hate working a bunch of days in a row without a break. I can do it, if I have to. But resentment and unhappiness start building up pretty quickly, so I'd rather head it off at the pass. I'm gonna talk to my boss about going down to 3 days a week for the rest of the summer--I did that last summer and it kicked ass.
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You know, the more I think about this South Park business, the angrier I get.
And the only thing I can think of to say is:

It's old news, people. And while I don't have a choir backing me up like some people, my resounding chorus of "Go Fuck Yourself" still rings out in the night, that all terrorists may hear it and know that we are not afraid of them and their veiled threats of violence against artists. Yeah, I'm a total badass from the comfort of my own home while I'm sitting here alone at my keyboard. But dammit, we take free expression seriously in this country.
Besides, many if not most Muslims do not actually believe that it is heretical to create and display representations of Mohammed. When I used to work at McDonalds, I worked with a guy named "Muhammed." We were allowed to say his name without getting bleeped. Simpler times...

In other news, I'm auditioning people for the role of The Narrator in the podcast of the new book. So even though my Mikey is sheer perfection, I have to remix everything I have so far once I get the new narrator vocal. I may go ahead and recut some A Stabbing for Sadie chapters and post those during the delay. Pretty soon, my website will be updated and I'll be posting all my new podcasts from there, where you can subscribe through iTunes if you are so inclined.


Apr. 24th, 2010 09:58 am
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Life is totally chapping my ass right now. Wanna hear about it? Good.

Cut for whining )

Bonus: JoJo woke me up every hour with loud meowing and scratching on the bedroom door. I finally let him in to see WTF. All he wanted was to flop down on the bed and be petted. Jackass. So on top of being worried, frustrated, and pissed, I'm also operating on about 3 hours of sleep. So right now, at this moment, everyone in the world can shut up and leave me alone--not exactly the best attitude for a CS rep, but there you are.

Also--anybody with a decent mic feel like doing some narration for me?
You know...just in case? *grumble*

In better news, I scored a copy of the original The Collector starring Terrence Stamp. This is a creepy, delightful movie based on a creepier, more delightful book. In fact, The Collector is one of those books that inspires people who do horrible things. Lake and Ng were very into that book--well, Lake at least. I should probably compile a list of books that inspire killers:
The Collector: John Fowles
Catcher in the Rye: JD Salinger
The Bible: anon
Johhny Got his Gun: Dalton Trumbo
Collected Works of William Shakespere: Edward De Vere ;-]
The Trial: Franz Kafka
Am i missing any? That's just off the top of my head.

I also downloaded the new ultra-violent horror movie called The Collector (no connection that I am aware of to the John Fowles novel) that I'll be checking out soon. People are saying good things--so we shall see.
Finally watched South Park ep 201. Comedy Central is a coop full of cowards who lay down like bitches to let terrorists win. Lesson: our government will not negotiate with terrorists--but Viacom totally will. Also, the scene between Cartman and the "Head Ginger" is one of the greatest scenes that's ever happened in the history of Colorado.
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My oldest fear is sharks. Thank you, Senor Spielbergo. Guess what? Sharks are still scary and I love watching them just as much as I did as a kid. I watch every stupid shark movie I encounter, and I recorded new Shark Week every year before it became "Shark Attack Week." Now that we know better, I'm not really into sharks being portrayed as monsters that love to eat people. That's what zombies are for.

My most persistent fear is zombies. Duh. Zombies are still scary, even though I'm better prepared for them than I was at a young age. I started making zombie maps of the area in which I live in roughly 1986, and I still do them every time I move. They list cemeteries and hospitals as places to avoid, and gun stores and wholesalers as places to get to. Being in Michigan, the Militia is our friend. Plenty of people tell me I'm silly to prepare for zombie apocalypse; those are the people I won't be sharing my supplies with when the time comes. Frankly, the thought of a zombie fueled war is so damn scary to me that it seems woefully foolish not to prepare. I mean, we have a fire extinguisher but we've never used it.

As for me, I'm super busy because I'm trying to get tons of stuff done. Professional blogging, marketing, outlining the new book, podcasting, and working even more hours than usual at my day-job, which is stressing me out and robbing me of the sleep I so richly deserve. I will be so much happier when I'm famous and can do whatever the hell I want. Okay, I know in real life grown ups hardly ever get to do whatever the hell they want--still, it would be neat to own a house and maybe a car, to shop for groceries once a week instead of twice a month. I would like for my life to not be subjected to the whims of the scheduling manager. My work schedule was great until a new person started doing it. Frown and Fie!

Meeting up with my narrator tonight to record chaps 3 and 7. Have been trying to learn how to do an Indian accent because I STILL haven't found an actress. Craigslist has been fucking useless and only served to double the amount of spam that makes it into my Inbox. I might be able to pull off one of these voices, but certainly not both of them. What the hell was I thinking?!???

In annoyance news, here are the things I shouldn't have to say to customers but apparently, I do:

1. If your child is screaming in the background and you can't hear me, call back later.
2. If you have no idea what size instrument your kid has, I can't fit it with strings. Please find out and call back.
3. If you don't know where your credit card is, please find it and call back.
4. If I tell you you haven't given me enough information to ensure that you're ordering the right product, please take my word for it. I do this all day long.
5. I remember what I told you last time. And even if I don't, it's recorded so I can always check later. Please don't pretend that you can trick me. You can't.
6. I'm not going to give you a discount because you yelled at me. Why on Earth would I?
wednes: (Default)
Almost ended up with a 4-day weekend. But then I remembered that I require money to buy the things I want to have. Like groceries and meds. I'm off tomorrow and back to work on Monday, so that's still gonna be sweet. Tonight I'm having fun, getting some cartoons off the DVR and putting them on some discs. Got a bunch of fun things planned for the weekend, parties, recitals, shopping trips and visiting the bro. I'm gonna bring him my famous mexican dip, because he's never had it, and some kind of fancy dessert--maybe a Pepperidge Farm cake. Those are surprisingly cheap and good. I'm also going to cut new versions of Chaps 1 & 2 of the podcast for the new book. I have some much cleaner, better versions of the vocals. I'm stoked.

Any of you guys check out Home Movie? My God. It is terrifying. Even my saying that is kind of a spoiler because you wouldn't really guess that it gets as crazy as it does. Yikes. The direction and camerawork are quite good. My copy was kinda shitty, but I thought it needed more light a lot of the time. I can chalk that up to truthiness and scariness, but as a viewer, I was straining to see more. That's probably just what they wanted. *sigh* This movie has some chilling performances, unbearable suspense, insane music. It's Dark as Hell. I am not kidding. LOVED it.

I also intended to watch Martyrs this weekend. But the version I got lost the subtitles when I converted it for iPod. Sucks. I can't find a version with subtitles, so I'm hoping someone I know has a DVD of it. I work less hours in the summer and I can't go around buying stuff like I like. My love of shopping is why that Pet Society game on Facebook is so damn much fun. Or I guess I could learn French. Pierre Boulle has eluded me for far too long anyway. ;-]

Speaking of NOT buying things, I'm about to run out of both paid time and extra userpics. I doubted the staying power of LJ when there are so many other popular places to hang out online. But dammit, I'm in this for the long-haul. I likes it here. There's plenty of smart people around saying cool things. There's also lots of wankers spouting nonsense and serving as a cautionary, virtual example. So yeah, if anyone feels like hooking me up with a month or two, it'll be well utilized.

In case you haven't heard, I'm contributing to the new blog by League of Extraordinary Women of ParaNormal and Horror. Yes, that's a long title. But we have a lot to tell you's, so you might as well settle in. I chat it up about horror, movies, a lot of the stuff I'd mention around here, but more objective and (dare I say) professional--and less personal. Feel free to sign up if you can possibly bear to read more of my ravings.

And finally, please enjoy this Burger King placemat that people get to use when they aren't in Los Estados Unidos:

wednes: (Default)
My new standard breakfast at work of late is untoasted Pop-Tarts. I had somehow convinced myself that they are made of decent ingredients, like fruit, and fortified with a bunch of vitamins. Plus, they are WAY lower in fat than toaster strudel. I felt okay about it. Today, I decided to read the label (probably something I should have done sooner). So...they are made with "real fruit" with an asterisk* by it. Turns out, they contain 10% fruit. That's the same as those cheap juices that I refuse to buy because I want real juice. Pop Tarts also have 5 grams of fat EACH, because a serving is only one--even though it comes in a non-releasable package of two. So really, I'd be better off with a multi-vitamin and a bag of potato chips. But then someone would say, Potato chips for breakfast? That's so unhealthy. I shake my fist at you, Battle Creek! So yeah, I really do need to wean myself off of processed foods. It's just that the processing adds both convenience and deliciousness.

Thought I was going to have a 3-day weekend this week since I have Friday off. Came in today and checked next week's schedule and it looks like I may have Monday off as well. So hmmm...4-day-weekend! Neat. It's our slow season at work, so hours are fewer and far betweener. Going to a co-workers going away party on Friday, a recital on Saturday, and seeing my bro-ham on Sunday. I'm thinking of bringing some of my famous Mexican Dip with chips, and some kind of store-bought dessert.

I got new recordings of Chaps 1,2, and 4 of Kiss Me Like You Love Me for the podcasting--which premieres on Tuesday, by the by. We're going to post 2 chapters every 2 weeks, with the in between weeks being a new short story until I run out of them. And it's much easier than I thought to route stuff over to iTunes. In fact, the first short story from "A Spoonful of Murder" is already there. I'm also planning to submit to Podiobooks. They love Scott Sigler over there; and I guess they even pay the authors when people give them money. Neat.

And finally, I watched the Collateral Murder vid. It made me sad, angry, and confused. I guess "The Troops" are like every other cross-section of society. There are lots of amazing people, and some tools so drenched in shadenfraude that it turns my stomach.

September 2017



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