Lies, Violence, and Ass Haberdashery:

I have recently been informed that I am not a good friend, and that I cannot be trusted, and I'm a backstabber. And what's more, I've been accused of these things by someone who is taking the word of a known liar/asshat at full face value--and without so much as a single inquiry as to whether or not the events in question actually took place. In short, someone who was supposedly a freind of mine took the word of a woman we all know is totally full of shit over mine. The liar is one of those people who has told a bunch of lies to a bunch of people and wants them kept apart so they don't compare notes. And after that huge betrayal, they are making it out like I'm the bad guy. I am beside myself with anger, even though I realized that the friendship was a sham from the beginning, it must have been.

Of course, I have some issues with the whole lying vs truth telling concept. As most of you know, I had a violent childhood. And my mother, being an untreated bipolar, was batshit crazy. We got regular beatings whenever she felt stressed or bad, and it didn't matter if we told the truth or lied, it only mattered what she ultimately thought regardless of truth.
I did tell lies as a kid; I was pretty fucked up for awhile there. And of course, my batshit crazy mother was quick to remind everyone that they couldn't beleive anything I ever said (some of my little kid lies were outrageous and unbeleivable) so I was branded a "liar" instead of a troubled kid who really needed treatment for mental illness.
If a kid is already "pretending" that mom isn't crazy or that they got that bruise from "falling down" why was it so awful to pretend something else if it will help you avoid a beating? I'm of the opinion that anything anyone (particularly a child) says to avoid violence being done to them is probably okay. It's the violence that is wrong. In the end, it left me with some big issues about honesty as a concept. Ultimately though, I'm a pretty honest person toward people I care about. And telling me I'm not honest is one of the surest ways to "push my buttons" and piss me off. I do tell "little" lies on occasion, and I am not particularly proud of them. A few days ago I told someone I was out of weed because it was easier than explaining how irritated I was that they are a mooch.

Right now, I'm angry to the point where I actually want to throw down in fisticuffs with this woman who lied about me. That would be stupid for several reasons, not the least of which being that the liar is not the one I'm really angry with. Some people are compulsive liars. I know a guy who lies pretty much constantly, but deep down, I like him and don't think he's a bad guy. Some people are just fucked up like that.
I'm really more angry that someone would beleive something so terrible about me, and would accept the word of someone they KNOW is a liar without even asking me what really happened. As Homer Simpson would say "It takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen." Which isn't so far from the truth. A lie can hurt, but not if no one beleives it. If no one beleives it, it's just more innane background noise on the AM radio of life...but if people accept a lie as truth, it forever alters the perception of the lied-about party.

In better news, thanks to the swell anonymous person who sent my the fly balloons for my info page!