Hear that noise?

That's the sound of all these little pills going back from my pill planner into the bottle. For I refuse to take them any longer. I've been feeling drunk and heavy-headed all week, punchtuated by a short bout of unexplained (but freakishly heavy) menstruation on the day I forgot to take one dose. Nuts to that, says I! I haven't gotten anything done all week, and this cannot continue.
Truth be told, I'd rather take the stuff I was taking before. But I don't understand how it can possibly be okay to take something I'm clearly allergic to. The doc thinks it's fine; and H thinks I'm nuts for even considering it. I don't know what to do. I trust the doc...really, but I don't know what he's talking about in this case and he won't explain it to me and I feel like he's being dismissive so it makes me uneasy. Again I say, why does this have to be so hard? Could be worse? I could have to pay for this shit out of pocket.

Started reading Cell last night. It doesn't waste any time getting right into the carnage. I was totally freaked out by page 10. And then a totally bizzarre thing happened. H came in and took the book out of my hands and said "C'mon, you don't want to read this right before bed. You'll have nightmares" I was speechless. Seriously. I felt like I was six, except no one was swearing at me or hitting me. It was really weird, and reminded me of how I did go thru this phase where I wanted a fatherly type boyfriend to "take care of me" because I felt so incapable of managing my own life. Even though I'm in financial ruins, I still feel perfectly capable of choosing my own reading material. Now to be fair, I am prone to horrible nightmares, and I don't REALLY think H is trying to be the boss of me. He did buy me the book, after all. I'm sure it's my own baggage making me so annoyed, but I am annoyed all the same. Maybe I should take this little expereince to EMDR after I work through 2 years of my mom calling me an "interloper" after I came home from college.

In wednes_writes news, I think I'm going to put my What to do About Franklin editing on hold for a bit. I'm really in the mood to pursue some kind of hip, chatty, chick story about a fat girl who realizes a bunch of stuff. Much like when I wrote Sadie, I want to get some things off my rather ample chest, and this is the best way to do it. Plus I've recently been hipped to a house looking for exactly what I'm wanting to write. I had mentioned a few times before about writing a "romance" novel just to make contacts and break into the business. But my opinion of that genre was so low, that I snooted my snooty nose right away from it...in reality though, a "romance" can be anything that ends with someone getting laid under happy circumstances, no? Anyway, I'm pretty sure I can do it. And my mind is active idea-filled enough right now that I should be writing instead of (or at least, in addition to) editing these days. Who knows, I might feel so pumped after turning out a new chapter or two that I can go back and edit more Franklin anyway.

Taking Requests:

I've seen that meme going around again, as it does, where you ask people to ask you things and you answer.

I don't ususally do these, because I tend to make my inquiries as they occur to me and not by invitation only. I daresay that some of you have been remarkably forthcoming and open, and I have been consistently moved and impressed by some of your revelations.

I should think by now that you'd all know that any or all of you should feel free to ask me any old thing whenever you want. And unless you're being really nosy or especially rude, I'll probably tell you.

But since I've been specifically asked to take part: for the second time in the 4 year history of this journal (I know!) here is an open invitation to make inquiries on any Wednes related topic.

You may each ask up to five questions about absolutely anything.

I'll answer them later in one or more journal entries.
If you're shy, you can ask anonymously.

Go!


While I'm here, I'll mention that the new South Park was quite disappointing.