Just when you thought it was safe...to die quietly in your home.

Peter Benchley died through no fault of sharks.

In all seriousness, I don't know how to feel about Peter Benchley. Of course Jaws, both the book and the movie, scared the crap out of me as a kid. It's still pretty scary when you watch it today even knowing that sharks would never do what "Bruce" did. Of course it looks like a very fake shark NOW; but I'm telling you it was scary in it's day.
Please, after I read Jaws (I was maybe...ten or eleven) I was afraid of all water...swimming pools, freshwater lakes, bathtubs, washing machines...forget about it. Terror. Abject terror of sharks...of being eaten alive...of not being able to see what might be lurking around unhidden. Damn...it's scary.

So scary in fact that it led to rampant sportfishing of sharks and a near dessimation from which they are only now starting to bounce back from. Some people assert that the shark population was never in danger and/or that the only good shark is a dead shark. Honestly, netting around beaches kills more sharks than fishing does. There are very effective ways to keep from being attakced by a shark, such as staying on land. When things you didn't invite come barging into your living room, you're either gonna chase them away or kill them. So we can't really blame sharks for being interested in us. Plus, they're awfully nice to look at.

Benchley did spend the remainder of his life working with people like Mark Marks and Ron & Valerie Taylor (who did principle shark photography for Jaws) working on shark conservation and education. There has to be something to be said for that.

Thanks for the scares, Mr Benchley.
May I terrifying half as many people as you, Good Sir.

Never seen the Jaws tour at Universal? Watch a tiny video of it here!

Say...

Does anyone know where I can score a cheap DVD of Secret Smile?

I really, really want to see it.

30,721 / 250,000 (12.3%)

While I'm here, I'll mention that I caught the first hour of Dave Chapelle on Inside the Actors Studio. I must say, he is brilliant. He had many insightful things to say, and is probably the most intelligent, unpretentious guy I've ever seen on that show. It was a very brave and revealing interview and I highly reccomend checking it out.


In the mood for some funny? Duh, who isn't? These Star Wars Valentines from Something Awful are moderately amusing. Law & Order SVU Valentines. Well drawn and hilarious. Speaking of Valentines, how come no one ever sends me a Singing Barbershop Quartet. I know you would if you really cared. Because in the end, that's what Valentines Day is all about, being reminded of how little you all really want to spend buying me gifts. And I for one am disgusted. ;-}

In linguistic news, lickingtoad and I have invented a new word.
Gorno/Gornopgraphy Noun: a movie, book or magazine that one watches by fast forwarding thru tedious and unsatisfying plot to get to the "good stuff" in this case: gore. Good examples of this might include the Final Destination Films, Reign of Fire, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. Gornographic Adj: The condition of being unworthy of making me sit thru your thin and silly plot just to see some of the old ultraviolence.

Who Equates love with Horror Movies?

Duh, I do. And sometimes H does. Today he did.

Instead of going out to some crwoded, noisy-ass restaurant, H and I decided to stay home and order King Shing for their amazing chinese delivery. Those guys are so nice and their food is so good. We don't even mind waiting over an hour to get it, it's that good. H actually did want to go out but didn't tell me that until I said I didn't want to. Then I said of course I would go and it would be fun; but he didn't want to go because he knew I didn't want to. Sometimes I just wish he'd let me do something for him instead of always being so goddamn nice.

Anyway...

We treated ourselves to a viewing of lickingtoad's copy of The Golem, which is, as it turns out, a fucking masterpeice. Touted as the precusor to Frankenstein, which came out 11 years later if I'm not mistaken, it's tagline calls it a Cabbalist Thriller. Who knew they could even have such a thing? I will probably watch it several more times before I give to to P to make me a copy.

It's a German silent film from the 1920's about a Cabbalist Rabbi trying to save a town from an Emperor who is just a total dick. He creates a Golem despite the obvious dangers involved. Predictably, things go horribly wrong and it reaches a startling climax that doesn't follow any of the expected american movie cookie cutter crap most of us are used to by now.
The films execution was imaginative and inventive. Modern filmakers can and should learn much from these old films. The use of color, filters and old, old, old-school editing techniques made this film not just charming in it's archaic demeanor, but a damn impressive thing to watch. And at only 89 minutes, you're fullfilled without having time to get bored.
There is one scene where the Golem is supposed to be busting int to this chicks bedroom, and he knocks loudly on the door. I must say, that was fairly amusing. But most of the movie is intense and visually stunning. The costumes are unlike anything you'll see today, and almost make me think of Corman's period stuff. Great violence and some really gripping death scenes. Fine performaces--for the silent film era and lots and lots of cool editing. I reccomend it to classic film buffs and horror fans alike.

And now...I'm off to watch Battlestar Gallactica.