Crying into my goddamn drink...

I am really not one to advocate drinking to feel better about problems. But I must say that I see no other option at this precise moment. I'm going to watch some more of American Psycho and smoke some Salvia Divinorum, but I will continue weeping openly and alone into my coke and SoCo until I figure out why some people turn out to be spineless back-stabbing jerk-offs.

I am so angry at this person (and will not be mentioning any names, because its someone from work) whom until last night, I greatly respected. My error, of course, was in having such respect for a person I knew so little about. It's like that syndrome where you assume that your favorite musician or actor would be cool as hell to hang out with, even though you really don't know them. And now I feel like I've been slapped in the face, publicly...and without warning or explanation.

While I am damn mad, I am also quite sad about the whole thing. The situation itself is bad enough, but it has been handled with incredible thoughtlessness and without regard to several of us MadStoners who if I may say so, work very hard and very competently. Where do people think they get off treating hardworking staff with utter disregard? And if circumstances decree that something bad has to happen, people should be spoken to privately and not taken off guard in front of the whole rest of the staff.

You know, if a friend came to me and told me that someone she trusted had just stabbed her in the back, I would tell her that their treachery was not her fault. That it is always good to trust people (until/unless you have reason not to), and bad if they break your trust. Trust is a good thing, and only losery types fuck it up.

Knowing all that, however, does not make me feel like any less of a complete tool. I have been disrespected, and my work disregarded for reasons that no one seems to be able to divulge. For the record, this person is welcome to bite my shiny, metal ass! It is, however, still very sad.

Igby Goes Down:

Even though my job is a source of sad at this time, I thought I'd tell you that Igby Goes Down is a great little film.

The cast includes Kieran Culkin, Ryan Phillipe, Susan Sarandon, Bill Pullman, Amanda Peet, Claire Danes, and Jeff Goldblum. Contains nudity, drug use, swears, violence, and people doing it.

Everyone says this movie is supposed ot be like Catcher in the Rye. Those people should get over themselves. While many young, angry types who hate hypocrisy may remind us of Holden, this does not mean that this particular movie is about him, or would be endorsed by Holdens reclusive creator. It is an exploration of people and thier bullshit, and how you can be really idealistic when you are young and people take care of you. And how sometimes, sensitivity is a curse that brings naught but pain.

It made me laugh, it made me cry (not much of a trick, since I'm bi-polar). Some of these actors did stuff I've never seen them do before. Goldblum is less of a funny clever dude, and more of a self centered prick. Sarandon is as you've not seen her before, and that little Culkin kid was awesome. So if you're at the Madstone, wave to me, then see this movie. And bring a sweater, since theatres 5-7 are really fucking cold.