wednes: (Colbert Well Done)
I'm one of those people who enjoys believing in things. I spent decades trying to find the right religion--the one that, upon hearing its tenets I immediately realized this was the thing I'd been looking for forever. Despite reading about every religion I could, past and present, I never found it. Eventually, I resigned myself to the fact that supernatural things are a wish, not a want, and that joining the Satanic Temple made the most sense. It didn't require me to pretend to believe in anything stupid, and it actually did have a list of tenets I felt (and continue to feel) very strongly about. But this isn't really a post about religion.

I want to believe that government, while made up of people who are shady and greedy, is essentially good. This began as a childish (because duh, I was a child) faith that grown-ups, especially "famous" grown-ups, had access to facts and learning that I didn't. I thought rich people really were smarter and worked harder than most other people--probably because I was nine-years-old when Reagan got elected. Over the years, watching the government shit on poor people and minorities, watching the Tea Party lead a cadre of hateful morons into our highest offices, it became startlingly obvious that government wasn't so great. In truth, it was no better or worse than most other organizations run by rich, white men. *pause for MRAs to flip the fuck out as people who think feelings are bullshit rail on about how upset I'm making them*

I still can't help being attracted to men of high morals and ideals. Remember when that was Superman? But he's been roundly usurped by Captain America. On TV, my good-government-guy crush was on Aaron Hotchner of TV's Criminal Minds. Hotch doesn't speak unless he has something vital to say. He doesn't abide egos, he sticks to the facts and thinks all people are worthy of dignity, help, and respect. But like all things, my love of Hotch was doomed to end in sadness. Thomas Gibson, the guy who plays Hotch, turned out to be a cheaty, violent dickbag in real life. Sad!

But you know what? James Comey IS Hotch, a real-life one. Sure, he's not a criminal profiler, but he's def a man of high morality and ideals. I love that he takes his wife out to dinner and calls it "a date." I love that he doesn't use swears (my husband doesn't either even though I'm an electrified swear-machine) and that he does the right thing no matter what--even when he doesn't want to. Even when it can lead to bad things. Even when it means we're stuck with a lunatic. That wasn't his fault. Note: My saying this is not an invitation for anyone to tell me everything Comey has ever done that they don't like. I don't care. Don't ruin this for me.
When he said, days before the 2016 election, that there might be something else up with Hillary's Emails, ugh. I was so mad. He was ruining everything. Hell, I thought, Drumpf (I was still calling him that then) could actually win the election and then where would we be?!? Then he explained why he did it. And I had to be like, Damn, I really can't argue with his logic..
Comey was never afraid of Trump. He just didn't like him, didn't trust him, and thought he ought to take copious notes after their meetings--which all sounded like giant WTFs. Even after he got fired, he never seemed mad. Just like, REALLY?!? If that firing had been a romantic breakup, the methodology would have made DJT a villain for the entire rest of his life. That would have been like, Phil Collins territory.

I follow Comey on Twitter now. He's always saying telling things about justice, karma, and other things that might just be intended to get DJT's goat. Ha! I just realized, he's doing what Dumbledore does when he has to talk to people he doesn't like. He's unfailingly polite and dignified, even as his actions silently tell people to go fuck themselves.
Besides, Comey isn't Mike Pence. He and I could probably go out for a burger without our spouses present, and he wouldn't be frightened that my gender means I'm a ravenous amoral sex beast.
All things said and done, I would love to buy that man a beer.
And I don't even like beer.
wednes: (Santa?)
Every time I come over here to post I feel like I should apologize for not having done so earlier. Screw it. I can't imagine that anyone is truly fussed about whether or not I blog.

What's up with me?
Well, I'm still hoping to start a new business venture this year. It's gonna take about $3,000 for startup expenses for my Kickstarter. I need to buy some things for packaging, bases and other supplies, a printer with all that entails plus paying my cousin to build the new website. That should allow me to launch a successful Kickstarter and get the money I'd need to carry us through the first six months to a year.

I'm finishing my business plan for Scared Soapless this week, and will be shooting it out to a few potential investors. Know a rich person, a horror fan maybe, who wants to invest in my horror-themed HBA business? Let me know and I'll shoot them a business plan. I'm told that there is a new tax plan that's going to make rich people invest like there's no tomorrow--so that will be nice. ;-)

Because H took a pay cut this year (his company stopped being open at night, so he doesn't get the overnight bonus anymore. It was more than $2 an hour, and I think it's quite shitty that his reward for 20+ years of excellent work is to fuck up his schedule and cut his pay, while telling him he can't freelance in graphic design. But I digress...), we decided not to do gifts for birthdays or Christmas even though we usually have a limit of $40 per. But when we decided this, I didn't mention that I was already done shopping for him. So he got an array of cool gifts (Funko, book, shirt, new backpack, bike tire patch kit, etc) and now feels bad because he didn't get me anything. Apparently, gesturing broadly at the apartment and items contained therein didn't make him feel better. *sigh*

Sadly, I got a note from Amazon telling me the jig is up with all the free shit I'd been getting for review. Almost every kid I know got a drone from us this year, and we still have plenty of nice drones. It's a bummer not to be getting more free stuff--I almost got a fog machine. I'll still get a few things here and there, but the steady stream of cheap Chinese electronics is over. #Sad

I did get a few cool gifts from friends and well-wishers, including:
A giant box of loofahs I can use for soaping
The Monkees S1 and S2 box sets (which is all of them)
A new portable vape for that thing I do.
Big basket of yummy fruit
Some really beautiful cards
A Fredo Corleone Funko fig
A cool tree ornament
plus H and I actually ate Christmas dinner at someone else's home where I didn't even have to cook. That was pretty amazing, and something we'd never actually done together (we've had dinner at other people's houses, but not for a holiday). We love salmon.
wednes: (Bear Attack)
My typical plan for summer is to stay the hell inside with so much air on that I sometimes get high and think it's fall. Because heat sucks. Global warming and I are totally not going to get along.

Spent a week house sitting while my more talented friends headed to SDCC. Got to play with doggies and kittens and watch a TV as big as my bed with a stereo louder than that really loud kid upstairs. We watched Skull Island, which was fun but not great. I spent most of it being irritated at the photographer who kept not taking pictures of stuff.
We also saw John Wick 2, which was awesome.
We rewatched Lego Batman and Guardians of the Galaxy, because I love Drax.
Not because I am Groot. I am not, in fact, Groot.

We got our 5th FREE drone this week, which is pretty friggin' cool. This one is another folding model. It's supposed to have one-key return, which will make it easier for a bonehead like me to fly it. I'm mostly just thrilled by having toys that fly. I suck at flying them even worse than I suck at zombie games. Anyway, we're getting a better drone next week, so H is extra stoked about that. For a few years I wanted to get him a decent toy drone to fly. But they were out of our budget. Now, it's pretty much raining drones.
Halleluiah.

The Radish thing is not thrilling me. They still don't have Horror listed as a genre, so my piece is in "general." Lame. I'm bugging them about it, but honestly I can't imagine that this is gonna become a thing for me. I'm a terrible judge of these things. But I'm not into the idea of spending another 18 months on a project that two dozen people see that I lose more money on.
Writing a test piece for a new gig this week. This has the potential to be killer, so I have high hopes.

Oh, and I hate the President. I make snarky comments to him every morning on Twitter, just because it makes me feel a tiny bit better. #LittleThings

Game of Thrones has kicked ass so far. Fuckin' Theon, seriously.
wednes: (Sad)
I'm going to be completely selfish in this post. What's new, right?

I am far too young to have lost so many classmates to early death. Sure, I'm almost 50, (well, turning 47 this year, so closer to 50 than 40) and that's a lot more time than a lot of people get. Hell, it might be more time than most people get. I haven't looked it up.

At this point, I went to school with people who died and left behind young kids. Cancer, brain tumors, AIDS, accidents, and a bunch of suicides. Come to think of it, I think I know of more suicide deaths from my peer group than accidents or violent crimes.

Feeling the death of another classmate today.
He was a good guy, never a dick to anyone online--which is a major achievement in my world, since most of the people I know online are the occasional penis-for-brains.
Jim left behind friends and family who are devastated by the loss. I can't even imagine it.

As many of you know, my greatest fear is H dying. When something really frightens me, I sit down and try to think up all the worst case scenarios and figure out what I'd do if they happened. I've figured out zombies, alien invasion, fire, plague, nuclear war, my mom showing up here, and a militia takeover of the state. Damn glad I know people in the militia now.
But when I try to think through what I'd to if H died, all I can see is me sitting in my good chair, staring into space and waiting for someone to notice that they haven't seen me around in a while. Then I'd die. That's not supposed to get your attention or make you feel bad for me. It's rather a crushing defeat to know that after 17+ years with H, that I literally have no idea how I'd manage to live and function without him. Hilariously, most of the people I know have ONLY known me with H. Aside from family and a few classmates I talk to on FB, "Wednes and H" are the only way we exist for them.
So yeah, I have no idea how people pick themselves up and get over it. I'd probably just send messages to Patton Oswalt every day until his agent's assistant's social media manager told me to stop.


As for the rest of life, working on Hellish Calling and dealing with the Radish site not working well, or maybe me not knowing how to work it. Either way, it's slow going.

Low

Jan. 19th, 2017 09:42 pm
wednes: (Wednes Poison)
Whelp, it was fun having a president who didn't make me ashamed to be an American. I mean, look at what we've had to deal with just in my lifetime.

Jimmy Carter was awesome, but treated badly due to his "soft" nature. See, when I was a kid, it was Democrats who said we should be a "Christian nation," by which they meant feeding the poor and housing the homeless. Like many things between Republicans and Democrats, this has completely flipped. Now the GOP co-opts religion for their own purposes, but apparently THEIR Jesus has no interest in feeding people or helping them have homes. Now religion means anti-gay legislation and the closing of family planning clinics. Because...god is love?

Then Reagan. Now, I think he was a pretty terrible president, policy-wise. He funded terrorists and talked a lot of smack about the poor and gays. His wife was even worse. But at least Reagan made rich people pay their taxes. Can't get that nowadays. As much as I disliked Reagan, I wasn't humiliated at the idea that he represented my country.

Bush Sr should never have been POTUS in the first place, mainly because he ran the CIA. That's not cool. If you ever work in a big box retailer, they have a particular way the money is sorted at the end of the day. One guy calculates how much money their should be, while someone else counts how much money there is. This is to prevent theft and chicanery. Apparently, the United fucking States of America needed no such safeguards.

Clinton. Awesome guy, down to earth. Solid policies, great economic growth. All he had to do was say "Actually, what I do with my penis is not relevant to how I run the country. Next questions?" But no...he had to do a stupid lying tapdance that eventually made him a laughing stock. That sucked.

Bush 2. Do I even need to explain this one? He and Rick Perry should do a road movie where they blunder their way across the country, occasionally getting schooled by the people they've sought to oppress.

Obama. *sky opens and rainbows so bright they keep us from seeing all the drone strikes, still open Guantanamo, and lack of single payer healthcare* Yaaaay!!! So eloquent, so unwilling to cheat on his wife, so personable...

And now...this.
I still don't get it. I don't care how poor you are, how angry you feel about political-correctness (AKA basic human decency), or how really racist you are. You'd have to be monstrously stupid to think a man like Drumpf is actually interested in helping the poor and middle class. There is no metric by which Betsy DeVos, Rick Perry, Jeff Sessions, or Ben Carson are good choices for goddamn anything. You might as well put Charles Manson in charge of youth outreach, and maybe Yosemite Sam as a liaison to the NRA.

In other news, now might be a good time to buy a set of encyclopedias. People laugh at having a set of books collecting known knowledge of the world. But see, a set of encyclopedias is a snapshot of the world as we know it. It's supposed to lack bias. But if you've ever read an encyclopedia from say, the 60s, some of the biases are much more evident now. The America we enjoy now and the one we'll be left with in 20/20 may be markedly different. Might be nice to have a hard copy to compare and contrast.
wednes: (Santa?)
So, we had Xmas. It was also H's birthday on the 20th. This means that at the Webster-Friday abode, there was much materialism, indulgence, and slothery. Why slothery? Because I made a commitment to watch #Arrow in its entirety, and I'm now about half-way through season three. Lots of shenanigans to be called on that show--but it's still a fun watch. Apparently it takes a mere 5 years and a death in your family to become a world-class assassin. Unless you're a girl, or a poor kid, then it takes even less time than that. Some things never change though, by which I mean John Barrowman is hot as fuck, and Ra's Al Ghul can kiss my ass (not literally of course).

Anyway...
For H's birthday, I got him a super cool book about the Whovian universe.
Plus a T-shirt with the Planet Express logo on it.
Plus some high end super spicy corn chips from Paqui. I wanted to get him the One Chip Challenge, but they were out of them for the season.
I made H's favorite cake, which is Frangipan (a buttery white cake made with marzipan). He loves it, but it's expensive and massively unhealthy so he only gets it once a year.

For Christmas, we made our usual holiday lip balms.
Coconut lime, because that's everyone's fave--including mine.
Cherry cordial (which is chocolate, cherry, hazelnut, and almond flavors)
Cinnamon Bun (cinnamon and vanilla). This was a new flavor and I didn't love it. But always nice to have something different. Think I might bring back the chocolate orange next year. That was good stuff.

H and I didn't give many gifts outside the family. We got H's sister a set of knee braces that she wanted, because she's been working super hard to be healthy. She has more discipline than anyone I know, seriously. My brother is getting a batch of Aztec brownies, because he loves them.

H's stocking was filled with a 2-pack of Reece's cups that weighs a pound. Yes, that means he got TWO half-pound Reece cups, which is the very definition of holiday indulgence. He also got a small jar of Jif cookies and creme with hazelnut spread. It's like a swirl of cookies n creme filling with nutella. He loves it, but it's not to my taste. He got an assortment of hot sauces and a huge vinyl decal that is the Crack in the Wall from Doctor Who, plus some jalapeno cashews.

Gift wise, he got a Blu-Ray of #Interstellar, which he loves and I have not seen. Plus a TARDIS pillow since he loves to lie on the couch with pillows. And finally, I got him an Attack on Titan hoodie, that even comes with a cape. He loves it. So that was great. I was pretty stoked to be able to afford it, since when I first saw it it was $75.

H got me a fancy assortment of foodie food. This included 2 types of Zingerman's bacon (1/4 pound each), some nice bread, fresh mozzarella, a tiny box of palmier cookies, and a fancy lemonade. H's mom got me the study bible I've been wanting, and H's sister got me a White Walker fig from Pop Funko. Speaking of Funkos, H got me a Weeping Angel, which is awesome.

H got me the Master's pocket watch from Doctor Who--which is pretty cool and which I have also wanted for a long time. Plus a DVD of Pink Floyd The Wall, which I hope to hang onto by not letting anyone borrow it.

We got a sweet box of cookies from Bre and the kids, and some assorted sweets and cards from family. The Overstreets gave us the Pop-Up Game of Thrones map, which is badass, the 3rd Walking Dead Compendium, and the Hannibal Lector cookbook. The Lector cookbook is pretty amazing, as it's written by the food stylist for the Hannibal show and has tons of cool pics and trivia. Not sure I'll be making those recipes since they require crazy ingredients like calves head, lungs, or of course, Gillian Anderson's left leg. Bahahahahhaa. So yeah, we got gifted up good.

Holidays

Nov. 29th, 2016 05:15 pm
wednes: (Santa?)
H and I were gone all last week, housesitting for some good friends. It's pretty cool, because all the stuff they have is nicer than the stuff we have. Their living room TV is big as a bathtub and has a better sound system than the local indie theatre. The recliner goes up and down by itself, and the fridge makes ice and the most delicious water I've ever had outside an Evian bottle. Plus, dogs. I love dogs, but can't have one in the shitty matchbox I live in.

Of course, I didn't post online that both H and I were out of town, or that our apartment was sitting empty (well, with cats, but they aren't good at guarding things). But everyone seemed to want to put it on my page. "Hey, aren't you guys out of town?" "Are you and H having fun being away?" "Who is watching your cats while you and H are gone?" It's as if people don't know that we live in a shitty neighborhood with shitty security and neighbors who would barely take notice if a stranger stole our shit in the middle of the night. Happily, though, nothing bad happened. Some errant JoJo puke and the eating of birthday flowers. That's all. H and I had a swell time eating unhealthy food (mostly) and watching HULU, which I've learned has even shittier horror movies than Netflix. I was actually tired of bacon by the end of the week.

I got some birthday presents:
A collection of Amazon gift cards allowed me to buy myself this.
I also got a fancy electric herb grinder...for grinding herbs.
H got me a Duck Dodgers Pop Funko, and a kickass book of Grimm fairy tales I've been wanting. Plus he made me another wonderful card like he does every year.
I got a cool witches oven with a cauldron and such. It's kind of amazing.
Plus: chocolates, cookies, flowers, some great cards, a hat, and I'm told--a big scary head to put on display. So yeah, I gots the hookup for sure.

As much as it's fun to hang out in a different place, it's also good to be home.
My own bed, bathroom, cats, and kitchen are always more comfortable--even if we live in a total shitbox. Why? Because it's OUR shitbox.

In other news, we had a death in the family. Uncle Tom (not technically MY Uncle, but the Uncle of my cousins on my godmother's side) was a cool guy. We thought he was a ton of fun, until someone explained to us that he had a drinking problem because of the war--and that the stuff he did wasn't funny. I disagreed then, and still kinda do. No, alcoholism isn't funny. But Uncles at family BBQ's are. He was a nice guy, jovial and bitter in a way that incorporated a lot of humor. He also had a glass eye that he once removed and rolled down a picnic table. How can that possibly be described as anything but hilarious? I don't know. Godspeed, Uncle Tom. The world is less funny, and a little less kind without you in it.

I sort of forgot that I was doing the NaNoWriMo this year. My head exploded after the election and never quite got put back together. Ah well. As [personal profile] flemco loves to point out, I can write whenever the hell I want.

H's work schedule is terrible right now. They switched him to 5 days a week (used to be 4 10-hour days, now it's 5 8-hour days) which means more travel time and expense and less time for us to watch TV and do stuff together. Do we really think people will avoid posting spoilers for Gotham, Supergirl, Agents of SHIELD, or Z-Nation? I don't. But one of his coworkers accidentally killed someone (driving like a maniac, I'm told) and now has to go to prison. The world is a crazy place, kids.
wednes: (Really?)
Like many of you, I have a family. And within that family, there are a wide range of people, some of whom believe things I think are patently batshit. My favorite Aunt once told me she'd never vote Bernie because "he's a socialist." I have a cousin who swears the min wage shouldn't be raised because it mostly applies to kids working part time, and that Citizens United is a "free speech" issue. I enjoy spirited debates when I encounter beliefs like that, but I find not everyone is willing to discuss what they believe.

So today, my youngest cousin posts a hate video....Cut for what prompted this post )

This led me to think that one reason it's so difficult to talk about racism is this idea white people have--that the only way to be "racist" is to be in a skinhead group, the KKK, or to liberally use the N-word. Kids, that's not so. Even if you've never uttered a racial slur, you can still be less than inclusive. Tim Burton probably does not hate minorities. There's no evidence to say he does. But that doesn't mean it isn't an issue that his movies have very few POC. Thinking "white" people/culture/hairstyles are "normal" and everything else is "other/different/weird/ethnic" is a problem in terms of race relations. So is presuming that every character in every book is white unless the author specifically says they aren't. So if someone tells you that you aren't being inclusive, or racially sensitive, or are being kind of a dick, they aren't necessarily saying you're Mel Gibson or Hitler. That doesn't mean you shouldn't hear them out. Though yes, you have free speech and can absolutely choose to tell them to fuck off.

To that end, I say: Ron Weasley.
JK Rowling made Ron Weasley racist on purpose, and for this very reason. He's not a Death Eater, he's one of the heroes. He's not a supremacist, but he's got issues with squibs (they have one in the family, but he's never talked to them), werewolves, giants, Durmstrangs (or maybe just the one who's sweet on his gal), and Slytherins among others. He's also fine with house elves in servitude and considers Dobby an odd man out (in fairness, so does Hagrid).
Ron isn't a bad kid. He's not malicious, though I do find him petty and tantrummy at times. I don't think he's hateful either. He just believes certain things because they make sense to him, and has never bothered to question it. You know, like how a lot of the people who go around talking smack about Muslims have never knowingly had a conversation with one--or if they have, they come away saying they're "ONE of the Good Ones." It's why the Washington Redskins logo doesn't offend people who have never been called a "redskin" out of hate. Why WOULD they understand it?

But after someone explains it fully, to respond by saying they're lying or being "overly sensitive" is...pretty racist.

When I hear someone say something overtly bigoted, the first thing I try to do is ask questions to make sure I got that right. "Are you being sarcastic? Are you saying he deserved to be shot because he took his earpiece out? Are you saying all Muslims want to kill us for our freedoms?" The answer to that question usually determines whether a discussion ensues, or a screaming match, or I just disable notifications for that post. Calling someone a "racist" is a bad idea most times, since no one, even members of the KKKlan, actually admits that they're racist. Besides, "racist" is a label we slap on a person to let them know we don't like their opinion. It doesn't help anything. Nothing is solved by calling someone a racist. But opening a dialogue? That might help.
It's hard to hear that you're not being racially or culturally sensitive. I hate hearing it, and my first impulse is to explain why I'm not. But dammit, if you've got any kind of privilege, you also have an obligation to acknowledge it, and to think about how life might be (or listen to people when they explain it to you) for those who don't have it.

People tell me it's "not worth it" to "argue" with people on the internet. I maintain that discussions can make all the difference in the world if both parties have some modicum of respect for whoever they're talking to. If I'm wrong, I wanna know why. I want facts or a fresh perspective that tell me why my thinking is wrong, and what I should have noticed that I didn't. I deserve the chance to say, Holy Shit, Long Duk Dong is TOTALLY racist, and I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner.
So yeah, if you begin by calling someone a racist because they posted a meme they didn't even read carefully, the ensuing discussion probably won't go well. But if you open up an actual dialogue you might actually get somewhere. Not always. Some people love being angry and hateful, it's like a fuzzy warm blanket to them. But usually, people just don't want to be afraid. If they learn why they don't have to, that might also help.

Ultimately, my cousin took down the fake video because she "didn't want to argue." I think that's a shame, because the ensuing discussion was a good read.
wednes: (Cat/Bird)
Like most of us, I don't normally answer my phone when I don't recognize the number. But when it rang around 6:45 this evening, I figured it was either a telemarketer I could mess with, or an amusing wrong number. In fact, it was H's Aunt Sherry, who I don't think I'd ever talked to before.

H's grandmother, a lovely woman named Virginia (also a family name in my own family of origin) had died on Valentine's Day. We hadn't heard from her in a few months, and H was afraid to phone because he kind of expected that this was the reason. Yes, I could have phoned as well. I didn't.

I've blogged about H's grandmother before because she was such an awesome lady. Her husband had a stroke a year or so before he died, and she cared for him full time. They'd been together for over 60 years, which boggles the mind. When he died, she never really got over the sadness of it. Her heart had broken. I imagine that's exactly how I'll feel if I'm unfortunate enough to outlive H. It def speaks to my own selfishness how much I DON'T want to outlive my husband.

I didn't realize, until Aunt Sherry told me, that H and I really were in her thoughts often. She showed off all the gifts and cards we sent her over the years, and displayed our photo prominently in her home. When she went into the hospital and then to hospice, she took our photo with her (and the other grandkids) so she could look at us whenever she wanted. Even when she couldn't keep food down, she asked the nurses to apply the lip balms we sent her for Christmas. She had told me once how amazing it was that I knew how to make them. They're embarrassingly easy. I didn't realize this, but a lot of H's family think I'm a great wife and a wonderful influence on him--and that it's great of me to keep in touch with the family on his behalf.

As many of you know, H's mom and I don't see squarely on many issues. So it's nice to know that there are people in his family that are in favor of our relationship. I mean seriously, we've been together over 15 years. Get over it! H's mom is more bossy than warm, and has been married three times that I know of. I often wondered how H managed to be so kind and loving, fair and patient growing up with his mom. Upon reflection, it was clearly Virginia and her husband Fred who modeled for H what a loving and successful marriage look like. I suppose that means that I owe her a great debt.

It's my job to help come up with something for the inscription at the memorial where the ashes of Fred and Virginia will be interred together. I've got a 26 character limit including spaces. We'll see.

Aunt Sherry told me the greatest thing though. Apparently Virginia wanted to be at home among family at the end. But what she actually said was "I don't wanna go out like a punk," which meant she'd go out on her own terms. And she did.
That is just fucking beautiful.
wednes: (Colbert Rage)
People who know us know that H is a wicked talented graphic designer. I love his work, but obvs I'm biased. He's made many cards and gifts for people--lots of posters, printed scripts with cool covers, etc. He designs all my marketing stuff, and created the logos for Under the Bed magazine and The Horror Within, among other things. He's designed some awesome book covers and more marketing stuff for friends, family, and clients.

I'd been pestering him to put a portfolio together, so he could make more money doing something he loves and is awesome at. He didn't. A year ago I figured, screw it. We'll start a business together. I can do book layout and editing, he can do cover and internal graphics. Together, we could help people self-publish their books, and maybe even publish some people outside what I already did with the magazine (except with better communication and more money), and what I do with the site now (again, with more money). So we've had a few clients and done some good work.

Then...one of our clients took some of H's designs to H's day-job for printing. I'm not saying the name of H's work here, and if you know it, please refrain from saying so in the comments. Anyway, this led to questions that then led to H's work informing him that he is not allowed to perform, for profit, any service that his company offers. Even if it's to people who were not customers already. Even if it's something he doesn't actually do for this company, and therefore doesn't involve poaching customers. Even though it doesn't involve using his work's equipment or resources, or wouldn't impact his job function in any way. Even though he's been with the company for almost 20 years and has never been reprimanded in any capacity. He isn't allowed to use his skills to make money on his own time, because employees of his company in another facility H has never even been to, do something similar to what he does--design graphics.

I can't even put into words how sad and angry I am about this.
Our new business was going really well. We had annoying clients who paid us a good wage, and let us work together to do great things for a variety of projects. It was great and promised to only get more awesome as time went on.

Now it's over.
Sure, I can still take on clients for layout and editing. But I don't have H's skills backing me up. We can't offer cover design services or marketing support that requires the use of graphics (ie: most of it). We'd never be a full-service company for people who want to publish books. All because an obscenely profitable and absurdly huge company thinks they have a right to tell H what to do in his own time, with his own computers and talent. And being H, he's not even going to argue with them. Because that's the kind of employee he is.
I can't even let H know the full extent of my disappointment and anger, because he already feels really bad about it.

So long, [name of company redacted].
You were a good dream.
wednes: (Shaun/Beatin')
I finally, at long last, have my proper medication in hand after being more than two weeks without it. As of last night though, my psyche was pretty much broken. I was within a breath of telling H to "shut the fuck up and stay away from me," which is simply not how we speak to each other. But my brain was broken.

In weirdness news, I learned that there's a way to report people who steal your Tweets. One wouldn't think stealing Tweets would be a thing, since there's a simple button that lets you retweet. But for a few months now, there's a chick who's been copy/pasting my tweets, putting her initials in front--basically posting Tweets that look like she's telling me something I just said. But on her feed it looks like it's her own content. Why would anyone do this, aside from general fuckery? I do not know.
So today, after this person stole and copy/pasted my tweet about (of all things) reporting stolen tweets, I told her that I reported her. She responded as if she had no idea it was unethical to copy/paste other people's Tweets. She seemed to think that because she tagged me in "her" Tweets, that she was giving me credit.

I had to SMH and laugh, because I have a book client right now who I've literally spent hours with, trying to explain Twitter. But they still don't understand it. I realize that all social media sites have their own idiosyncratic elements that have a learning curve. But really?

Blue Cross Blue Shield can fuck right off, BTW. They decided to stop covering something I need. So instead of it costing $5 a month, the new "uninsured" price is $235 a month. Needless to say, that means I won't be getting it. I can almost understand why they wouldn't cover it. But I cannot understand how concentrated hydrocortisone could possibly cost that much. Fucking pharma-bros, all of them! I'm told that in other parts of the world, it's illegal to make a profit on medical supplies. Seems like common sense, right? Another way the US of A is teh oligarchy. Maybe everyone should shut the fuck up and stay away from me, at least until I feel more like my usual charming self.

Indian Food

Jan. 5th, 2016 12:37 pm
wednes: (MamaCass)
I had Indian food for the first time last night.

Paneer with spinach and a seafood dish in a spicy sauce with yogurt and nuts. Also, garlic paneer. H had paneer as well and a citrusy tomato sauce. It was really spicy. Mine was supposed to be "medium" but I also found it intensely spicy.

Here's the thing.
I need to learn to make--at the very least, paneer and that sauce, which is called "korma" sauce. I'm guessing that this will require a bunch of specialized shopping, since I doubt I have any of the spices I need onhand. Well, garlic. Always garlic.

How did a whole nationality of cuisine this awesome escape me for my whole life up to this point?


In other news, I went to the doc yesterday after not going for almost a year. The new doc is actually pretty awesome. My numbers were slightly worse than last year, which stands to reason since I was out of a few meds and have been taking abysmal care of myself since falling into a crazy depression. I got a referral for a therapist, and they also want me to have an EKG stress test thingy. I don't know why provoking my heart is a good idea, but I'm not a doctor. I'm also behind for a mammogram, so I probably should call back and get a referral for that too.

I need to get one of those lights for seasonal affective disorder. I was hoping my insurance would cover it, but no such luck. They're surprisingly costly. Fie!

Loot

Dec. 25th, 2015 12:25 pm
wednes: (Santa?)
I gave H a Kindle Fire for Christmas. Its low price allowed this to be the first time in 15 years together that I've bought H any electronics. However, I didn't keep the secret very well. Five minutes after he opened it he went into his office and returned with a case.
Me: "Oh, it came with a case? That's awesome, I didn't realize..."
Him: "No, it didn't."
Me: "But that's a case right there."
Him: "I know. I wanted to make sure it was protected."
Me: ...

I also gave H a ton of candy from the vintage candy store. Funny, because the candy is new and old all at once. Most of it is either sour or hot. He also got an Agents of SHIELD pin, which is awesome, and a Matchbox batmobile, because I was in a mood to buy people batmobiles this year. No reason.
JoJo got a new cat bed that's shaped like a shark, and a heating pad for the inside. Pentelope is too cranky to celebrate Xmas, but she did get some tuna treats that look like tiny steaks.

What did *I* get?
Well, first H and I both got a new vacuum. It's a Dirt Devil that promises to stand up to the hair-nanza that is our cats.
H's mom got us a humidifier, which I'm pretty sure is a passive-aggressive gift. After not acknowledging my birthday last month, she got us something she knew I would hate. I told her at our wedding (before she walked out in a huff before the ceremony) how much I hate humidity. Ah well...

H got me some movies:
Deep Red (Profundo Rosso)--a fave of mine that I lost years ago in a tragic loaning mishap.
Jane Eyre (the one with Mia W. And Michael Fassbender). My 3rd version of Jane Eyre on DVD. Sweet!
The Strangler (starring the great Victor Buono)

He also got me some fancy food:
Salt and Vinegar kettle chips
old fashioned shortbreads from Zingerman's
Zingerman's "magic" brownie (but not 420-magic)
marcona almonds (hilarious, because of the Specific Store on Family Guy)
And a deck of Harry Potter playing cards (or minor arcana tarot, if you prefer).

I'm told that one of my gifts will be late. Not sure what's up with that.
We also got an impressive haul of cards, but no cookies.
That's right, not a single person sent us homemade holiday cookies, and I didn't bake any. Oops. And here my doctor has been begging me to work more cookies into my diet. Not.

Okay, time to make pancakes and sausages.
wednes: (Handfasting)
H's birthday is more fun for me than my birthday.
For my birthday, I throw a party. I clean everything and cook a bunch of food and stress out about invites and reminders and every silly detail. Then the party happens and it's somewhere between fine and awesome, and then it's over.

For H's birthday, we don't really have people over. He's even less fond of other people than I am. So I cook him a nice meal, get him some cool pressies, and do all the other *ahem* stuff a good wife does. ;-)

This year, he was taken to see Star Wars, which he loved. His mom sent him the very grown-up gift of a humidifier with some kind of whiff that goes in it. Ryan got him a combination birthday/Xmas gift. Since it's not Christmas yet, H has decided to wait to open it. Where he gets his self control, I do not know. Hope it's not a puppy, because he'll be mighty hungry by Friday. LOL

I got H the following:
An assortment of classic, hot, and sour candy.
He loves that shit.
A replica of the Lawkeeper badge from Defiance.
A book called "The Science of Doctor Who" which is cooler than most similar sounding books. Not really an examination of what they got right or wrong. Rather, it's about how actual RL science could give us the kind of events seen on the show.
Coooooool.
I also got him a graphic novel version of the teleplay "City on the Edge of Forever," which is from Star Trek TOS in case you didn't know. Ellison FTW, amirite?

Later, I'll be making H some nachoes, because that's what he wants. Also, some cookies. He likes Alton Brown's puffy cookie recipe with Reece's chips instead of chocolate.

Okay, I'm off to do some child-care, which I'll actually be doing at home.
That means kids movies and Ninento Wii for the bulk of the day. Better than what I had planned, which was SEO articles.

Berfday!

Nov. 27th, 2015 08:10 pm
wednes: (Vyv ;-()
What did I get for my birthday? I knew you were dying to know.

H got me four new Pop Funko figures: Jason Vorhees (#1 in the hockey mask), Pennywise the Clown, and two from The Walking Dead: Little girl with the plushie, and The Governor. Nice!!! He also took the bus to get us Five Guys Burgers and Fries. I love that place.

H's sister got me a Game of Thrones coloring book, and my Aunt sent me a lovely card. So that's all awesome. Tomorrow is my party, which will include fantastic company, yummy food, and conversation that will tear your soul apart...or something. H is gonna take tons of pics, I hope. He has to take them because he doesn't want to be in them.

H's mom did not acknowledge my birthday. If I didn't know better, I'd swear she was MY mom. Ha!

There have been two terrible shootings since the last time I blogged. #BlackLivesMatter protestors were shot at a rally by...well, we know who they were shot by. Funny, I didn't hear anyone lamenting that those protestors didn't have weapons, lest they defend themselves from the racist asshats who shot them.
And today at Planned Parenthood. Without knowing who the shooter is or why this happened, I'm prepared to make the standard presumptions: some fake Christian who wants to protect fetuses while voting away any programs that might help actual children. I'll predict that his weapon(s) were bought legally, and that the media will focus on mental illness and extremism as root causes. Because heaven forfend we talk about how easy it is for violent nutters to get guns.

No word on how many people croaked during Black Friday shopping. I'm sure we'll find out tomorrow when the YouTubes of in-store fisticuffs start showing up.

And finally, I won the #NaNoWriMo. Because I am awesome.

Holidays

Oct. 17th, 2015 09:08 pm
wednes: (Go Crazy?)
Today is Sweetest Day, which I completely forgot.
Was going to cab it over to the mall to get H a pressie, but it's football Saturday, which I also completely forgot. I could not possibly care less about football, except that it makes me want to leave the house even less than usual. Drunken crowds, you know.

Halloween is coming up, and I have no plans. Bummer.
If you know of any cool events that I'd be welcome at, do let me know.

Started Xmas shopping. H is probably getting mostly books and movies, candy, socks, and a T-shirt of some sort. If this new gig works out, I might also be able to buy him a small drone. He would have tremendous fun with that.

Thinking that my birthday party will be the Saturday after Thanksgiving, as per usual. I never know if it's gonna be a huge party or a tiny one. Thinking about making a coconut cake with a chocolate ganache. That would be tasty.

Had given up on getting a regular writing gig I applied for, but then I heard back from them. The work seems pretty straight forward and the pay is good. So I'm stoked about that. Also have a new short story I've been noodling for a few weeks now. Looking forward to getting that drafted before the NaNoWriMo starts. Oh yeah, I'm doing the NaNoWriMo this year. Go me! ;-) Who else is playing? Be sure to add me as a writing buddy.

Movies have and will watch soon:
Green Inferno
The Visit
Knock Knock
Honeymoon

I should probably start working on my list of horror for the year-end wrap up for Geekbinge. American Horror Story is going well, BTW. By which I mean the show itself, and my reviews. South Park commenters at the new sites are often shitty and mean, and make personal slams when they disagree with something. But AHS fans comment about the show, the references, and horror in general. Speaking of TV, Simpsons is having new Halloween eps two weeks in a row. They're totally embiggening the whole season.
wednes: (Go Crazy?)
I quit ArticleCats this week. Nice people there, but I've had 4 editors in the last 8 months because they all either quit or get fired. Lamesauce. Plus, my assignments there were boring, and the pay was too low.
Got offered another geekwriting gig. But again, not enough money for the work they're asking me to do.

It's not that I'm unwilling to write geekery for a low base wage. I am. But I only have so many hours a week to devote to stuff I don't make a decent wage from. Three reviews a week for peanuts is quite enough.

The new business venture H and I are doing is working out well. I've helped a handful of authors with getting their books formatted and ready for publishing. H is awesome at graphic design. So now we're hiring ourselves out as a full-service team for people trying to self publish. We edit, do layout and formatting, design covers and internal graphics, and offer marketing consultation. Our hourly rate is competitive--lower than many other places that do the same thing--yet still a wage that makes us happy. So that's been great.

If you haven't checked out http://thehorrorwithin.com/, you should totally do so. We've got tons of great content up including great FREE fiction, an array of incredible art, reviews for movies, books, and TV, plus a lot of extra horror features. I'm thrilled with how well our staff has risen to the occasion, and with how great everything is going. I'd love to see more fiction subs. And I'd love for more authors to contact us about hyping their horror books.

Here's some fun news: I'm doing the NaNoWriMo this year. I haven't done it seriously since the aughts, so it's totally time. I have enough free time (is there really such a thing as "free time"?) these days, and a story that needs working on. So I'm prepping that now. Wish me luck! Um, unless you hate the NaNo, then don't.

Finally watching the Democratic debate. What strikes me the most after watching the GOP debate is that *this* is a stage full of politicians debating issues. It's fucking tragic to think that the most impressive feat of the Democrats might have done thus far is to not descend into a sea of prideful ignorance and playground insults. Even if Trump wasn't running, the GOP would still be a total shitshow. I'm still feeling the Bern, but everybody except Webb was fairly impressive.
wednes: (Colbert Well Done)
Remember a few weeks, maybe a month ago, I found out H and I weren't getting the check from our 2013 income tax refile? I was super bummed because it was my fault and we sort of needed the money? Well, the check mysteriously arrived today, over a month after it was supposed to and after we were told it wasn't coming at all.

Wha--?

My back is still stiff and sore and terrible. Normally I'd do some stretches while lying on the floor. But the vacuum we bought last year is already broken and H doesn't want to buy one from Craigslist. So I'm not lying on a floor that hasn't been vacuumed in a month. No, not even when I'm in pain.

That bitch from Nerdly who talked shit about me in a review (and stole one of my pics, which has since been removed) is now attempting to justify her terrible behavior. Did you know that being transexual makes you the spokesperson for every transexual? I had no idea. Fascinating, right? Too bad I'm so "disrespectful" and need to "educate" myself. *shakes head*

Honestly, is there a difference between "she revealed herself to be a biological male" and "she revealed herself to be a transgendered woman" in terms of respect or dignity? If my phrasing (the first one) was honestly disrespectful, I do want to know about it. Though I maintain that calling me out publicly while lumping me in with people who made Crying Game jokes or used the term "He/She" is right out. The review was for Penny Dreadful, which is set in a time period before terms like transgendered or transexual were used, as far as I know. I find this annoying because a) I don't think I'm an ignorant or hateful person, and b) if my verbiage is off, I want to discuss it rather than fend off an accusation--especially from a total stranger. Gah.
wednes: (FG/Psycho)
I was fully prepared to write about Kim Davis here today. But my Kim Davis stance turned out to be interesting enough that I'm selling it to one of the sites I write for. That means you'll see it soon enough, just not here.

Besides, I realized that this second week of September marks the 20 year anniversary of the last time I spoke to my mother--outside of the screamed conversations that happen when I'm alone. Ha! No, really...

I'm not going to go into what caused the estrangement. Anybody who doesn't know but would like to is welcome to peruse my "family" or "wednes past" tags to catch up with me talking about mumsy and her whole deal. No, I didn't ever call her "mumsy," I just think that's a hilarious way to refer to a mom who wasn't especially motherly. For a beautifully exaggerated and somewhat fictionalized version of life with mumsy, you can always read my self-indulgeant debut novel, A Stabbing for Sadie. When people ask me if I'm Sadie, I like to look shocked while shaking my head and proclaiming that such would be impossible...because Sadie is fat. Hahahahahahaha!

My mom is a big TV watcher. We grew up knowing that TV was the only activity our family could engage in together without screaming or violence. By not talking to her for 20 years--we never got to discuss huge TV events like LOST, Game of Thrones, or even The Sopranos. I bet she likes them. I have no idea if she's seen the Harry Potter movies (she doesn't read, or didn't when I knew her), though I imagine she's all over that Christian Grey shit. Ew. When we last talked, LA Law, Animaniacs, Romper Room, Star Trek Next Gen, and the Arsenio Hall Show were still on the air.
I know, right?

I've changed mightily as a person since last speaking to Mater. It's amazing how much one can grow and develop when no one is hitting them, screaming how ugly, fat and stupid they are, or just generally not having someone figuratively step on your neck every time you try to speak or move. Even if I'm never as kind, considerate, or accepting as I'd like to be--I can take solace in the fact that I'll never EVER be the frightened, duplicitous, lasher-outer that passed for a mother where I grew up.
It makes me happy to hang out with kids and see that I don't have the urge to smack them, even if they're little assholes. For people who grew up thinking smacking people was normal, this is kind of a big deal.

Of course, I have almost no memory of ever speaking to my biological father. I grew up with a stepdad, only I was NEVER supposed to refer to him that way. My mom was hysterical when she thought someone was lying to her--but that was nothing compared to what she would do if someone told one of her truths.
wednes: (AB/Waffle Man)
I do the overwhelming majority of the cooking around here, since H can only cook bachelor food. His fave meal that I make is chili, because I am the ace at it. I think my chili con carne is so good, that I'd enter it into cookoffs if they happened anywhere near me. But I'm certainly not schlepping my chili and fixin's down to Texas. I hear it's hot and racist down there. ;-)

Tonight though, H wants his second favorite meal--which is abbreviated thanksgiving. I take a whole mess of veggies and mix them with a bag of Pepperidge Farm cornbread stuffing. Add chicken stock and bake--serve with gravy that came out of a jar. That's right, a jar. You wanna fight about it? Sometimes I mix in some ground chicken, but today I'm keeping the ground chicken on the side for portion control. Meat is expensive, you know. With it, we're having green bean casserole. H friggin loves green bean casserole--and like many African Americans, he had never heard of it as a kid.

This is a discovery that I made in my adult life--that the Campbells cookbook from 1968 didn't make it out of middle-class white neighborhoods. When H and I first got married, H's grandmother asked me for the recipe after having it at her new church. She was the 3rd or 4th black person I knew who had never heard of it, despite being part of casserole culture. As far as I knew--if you knew about tuna casserole, you should also know about green bean casserole. Not so, though.

Like most people, I make personal adjustments to my green bean casserole. I always use frenched green beans out of a can, and more mushrooms than the recipe calls for (I loves mushers). I use cream of chicken mushroom instead of regular cream of mushroom. I also add sour cream and a healthy couple of shakes of Kraft parmesan. No fresh foods to be found, really. I stir it twice during cooking. Then of course the crunchy onions--which H would put on everything but breakfast cereal if he could.

In other news, my short story, "Raja" has been accepted by an anthology called "Not Your Average Monster." I had a feeling it would be a good fit for them if they liked it. I did a lot of work on this one before submitting, since another pub (that folded before they could publish it) made me edit it down to absurd proportions. So I'm pretty stoked for this fleshed out version to be getting some ink. Yay!
wednes: (Handfasting)
I live a life rich in anxiety, which is not a surprise to anyone who knows me. My main way of dealing with anxiety is to stay the hell at home and not go out into the big, scary world unless I have to. So if you've seen me socially outside my home--that means that I probably love the hell out of you. It also means that if I've inexplicably dashed away from a planned gathering, that it has nothing to do with you.

Anxiety. One of the things I'm most anxious about is that something bad will happen to H. He walks a long way to take the bus to work, and has been hassled by cops as to why he is out at night, where he's going, etc. I used to stand outside the video store where I worked waiting for cabs for upwards of an hour without incident--but when H was waiting with me we'd be questioned regularly. We were even pulled over in a cab once.

So, I occasionally call H at work, just to say Hey and to quell my anxiety. I'm aware that this is lame, and could be perceived as needy and controlling. H is cool with it.

Last week, I called H after waking up from a dream that he was shot in a robbery at his work. Not out of the question--especially since he's there alone during the overnight shift. So yeah, I called just to make myself feel better. The phone rang and rang, but he didn't answer. Doing my best to stay calm, I waited three minutes and then called back. Again, no answer.

I wanted to call the cops, explain the situation (leaving out the dream and some of my own ridiculousness) and just ask them to check in and make sure everything was okay. But I didn't.
See, H is a black guy who stands over 6 feet tall. Statistically, this is the scariest type of person in America. I then envisioned multiple circumstances by which H could be "accidentally" shot by "helpful" cops who thought he was robbing the place. This week, we learned that some cops think it's okay to beat the shit out of people for being "arrogant," or not properly kissing the asses of cops as they hassle us. If anything bad happened to H because I asked the cops for help, I couldn't live with myself. Seriously. I'd have to be hospitalized to prevent my own suicide after something like that. No lie.

It occurs to me how incredibly fucked up it is that I should be afraid to call the cops, because it seems that being helped and being killed or beaten are roughly equally likely in some circumstances. People like to pretend that the cops only kill people who are criminals, or who are threatening their lives. But we know better now. The proliferation of cameras on phones, on dashes, or in businesses have clearly proven that you can be standing around near a slice of pizza, making a minor traffic error, or just walking down the street and be murdered for the crime of looking scary, making someone uncomfortable, or standing up for your own dignity.

Nutzo police are not the norm in Ann Arbor. But they did murder a mentally ill woman last summer when a relative called the cops to help calm her down. Apparently 2 (or 3, I forget now) grown men couldn't take down a mentally ill woman with a kitchen knife in any other way except shooting her in the head. So yeah, why take chances?

No point to this story, I guess.
H was actually vacuuming the floor and didn't hear the phone ring.
He was fine...probably because I didn't call the cops for help after all.
wednes: (The Horror Within)
Been spending less time online than usual, mainly because I'm developing the incredible superpower known as Not Engaging. I'm disgusted to see and hear the rampant racism and hate from people I normally think are only kind of stupid. If you're really more upset about the "rioters" than about another person getting away with murder, I don't know what you and I could possibly have to say to each other.

My birthday was nice, but the real celebrating will happen on Saturday.
H and I ordered some mexican food and watched our shows off the DVR.
He made me another cool card full of loving sentiment.
H also made me a mini poster of my new logo (which you can also see in this user icon) for The Horror Within.
And he got me two knew Funko figures: Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones, and Papa Legba from last season's American Horror Story. Coo el!

We're having Thanksgiving dinner today so we can work around H's work schedule. I'm making a spicy mexican meatloaf that's stuffed with cheddar and jalapenos. On top is bacon. Because, bacon.
With it, we're having a cheese green bean casserole and a heap of mashed potatoes with scallions. It will be ready in about a half an hour, and I predict it will be delicious. The meatloaf is cooking on a wire rack with a pan under it so it isn't marinating in grease. I've got my girlish figure to think about, after all.

The party on Saturday promises to be awesome. Great company, one of my famous trifles (coconut cake with chocolate filling and Cool WHip--because fuck all that nonsense about natural this and organic that. ;-) Okay, not really. I just love Cool WHip. Also, my famous party bean dip.
Be there or kindly be square.
wednes: (Handfasting)
Within a year of meeting H, (summer of 1999) I started referring to him as "Baboo" because of how Sally Brown calls Linus Van Pelt her "sweet Baboo." I read Peanuts cartoons voraciously as a kid, and had a zillion books of them. So this made perfect sense to me.
Eventually, Baboo was shortened to simply Boo.

I notice now, that "Boo" is a very common thing to call one's significant other, particularly (but certainly not exclusively) among African Americans. I hear it on Key & Peele last season, and then on Criminal Minds this past week.

My question is, is everyone doing it because of Sally and Linus? Is there another reference for this that I don't know?

Regardless, I have to give H a new nickname.
For no reason whatsoever, I've started calling him "Spaghetti."
wednes: (Under the Bed)
I'm nearing the one year anniversary of my involvement with the mag. Granted, the first issue of Under the Bed didn't go live until August, but I started working for eFiction in June, and put out the last issue of eHorror before I magically transformed it into what it is today.

The first year was incredibly stressful, no doubt exacerbated by my own incompetence, the insane amount of pressure I was putting on myself, and my habit of grossly exaggerating the expected returns. Just like when I first got published, I presumed I'd make enough money the first year to buy a new computer. Without embarrassing us all with the actual numbers, let's just say, I haven't.

But you know, my first year at Shar was pretty terrible. I was in way over my head, having slightly exaggerated my own musical knowledge. After that, it got a lot better--which is to say, I got way better at it. I became more confident in the knowledge I did have, and better able to compensate for the stuff I didn't know. After that, I just kept on learning things until I decided I didn't like them anymore.

My first year of college was also difficult. When I got there, I was so incredibly scared and intimidated, I didn't eat for almost 3 days because I didn't want to be seen in the cafeteria alone. It got better though, as everything seems to if I stick it out long enough.

So I guess that's the pattern. The first year of anything worthwhile will probably suck. My first year with H didn't suck, but there was a definite learning curve. I had no idea how to treat someone who was always kind and respectful to me, or how to manage a healthy relationship. That took at least a year, presuming that I've learned it now. ;-)

I guess the question is, what should I do next? I'm def gonna stick it out with the magazine, for as long as my computer allows it, at least. It's maddeningly slow at times, but it's still chugging right along. But I'm thinking of doing some self-publishing since I actually seem to know how. I haven't been writing much fiction, and I really need to be working on Millicent Mixter. I'm writing that one using Scrivener. That's a sweet program, though I wish it had some color adjust options. Black on White is not a great color scheme for me.

How and When I learned *Computers* )That's funny, because I don't even have an iPhone.
wednes: (Default)
Have you heard? Racism is over! Hurrah!
I heard a while back that there was no more racism, because they changed the voting laws to make it easier to pass racist (anti)voting laws...which of course no one would pass, because there's no more racism.
Except...within hours of hearing that racism was over, a bunch of racists passed a bunch of racist bills to prove how unracist they are now that there's no more racism. Get it?

In my home state of Michigan, we learned recently that no matter what happens in the rest of the country, Michigan is racism free. That's why Affirmative Action is no longer needed at U of M, which must mean that college admissions are more or less evenly split among the races, or directly proportional to the racial makeup of the applicants. Wait, what? They aren't? Gosh...who could have ever foreseen that?
Except, you know, everyone.

I admit freely that I'm not 100% on Affirmative Action. I'm not sure counting and quotas is the best way to go about achieving social justice. Despite the douchebaggery of the speaker--I do think placing more focus on class than on race makes a lot of sense. Plenty of studies exist that show that the number 1 and 2 indicators of a child's educational success are the education of the mother, and poverty.
What is it about being underfed, getting poor nutrition, and having parents who are always tired, worried, stressed, or not home at all that keeps these kids from excelling in school? They must just be lazy, amirite? *eyeroll*

Moving on, The Internets are a great thing, because they get information to The People. Social networking has been a force for social change and even political upheaval. But see, the Internets also give a voice to the most hateful sort of paranoid dickbags. Sure, free speech means avoid the comments at all costs. It means that Nazi sympathizers, holocaust deniers, pedophiles, and Glade-huffers can find kindred spirits and know they aren't alone. Free speech means everybody gets to talk, even if ultimately we have to scour every news story for hints of satire--because gag news looks and sounds so much like the preposterous REAL news that it's hard to tell them apart. Hunger strikes against gay marriage, pro-slavery cattle ranchers, and anti-black-guy basketball profiteers sound like they should be made up.
They aren't.

So...we've got an internet where anyone can say anything, and any opinion no matter how destructive or horrible can be found and read by anyone who wants to find it. No type of legal consequences for willfully spreading lies, even with the express intent to cause anger, injury, whatevs. Amid all of that, we have the impending demise of Net Neutrality. I maintain that Net Neutrality is about a lot more than who'll get the fastest Netflix streaming.

Notice how the same half-dozen people own almost all the newspapers and TV networks? How long before those same assholes are controlling the entire internet? Cutting access to sites that check facts, point out lies, or present alternate points of view? What if FOX "news" loaded in seconds but CNN (or maybe a good news network) took 3 minutes. What if we had to pay extra to get BBC news or anything outside the US?

We like to pretend we're so awesome with our technology and our freedom. We aren't. Our crushing economy is well, crushing us. Many people are using all their energy just to keep their families fed and housed while others are amassing insane amounts of wealth on our backs.
I think it's awesome that rich people tried to buy Mitt Romney an election and weren't able to. But how long is that gonna last? Our current oligarchy is far worse than if we had elected a true despot. Even Kim Jong Un doesn't want his entire country to be 99% slaves to industries who continually fight for the right to not pay a living wage.

This Conservative Cabal is clearly plotting to slowly remove the laws that protect the weak and disenfranchised. They're doing their damndest to cut education and welfare so kids will grow up sick and stupid. They abhor family planning, and while they say they don't approve of working moms--they've cleverly arranged an economy where it's damn difficult to raise kids on a single salary--and it often means going without owning a home. The Conservative Cabal fights for the right to pay paltry wages while raking in billions in profits, all the while pretending that they hire workers based on what they can afford--rather than on what they need. Then they get angry and accusatory when someone is smart or brave, or fed-up enough to call them out on it.

*sigh*
Girl-H's (H's sister) food stamps were taken away this week. Budget cuts. She works part-time, but can't be on her feet for more than a few minutes due to an injury she can no longer afford to treat or medicate. Her ACA application was "lost" so she had no healthcare at present. We found all that out last night. I was saving up to take H to see Godzilla but now it looks like we're going to send that money to her so she can eat. Because 'Murica & Freedumz.
wednes: (Elephant on Trampoline)
I'm a little behind on work due to a combination of sleeping a lot and being more social. As a result, I have to work today and tomorrow even though H is off work for the big egg-hunting holiday. Not a big whoop though. We're also gonna have salad and tuna croquettes for dinner, followed by the first night of that Sci-Fi special BBC is showing. That's gonna be sweet. I think it's about Robots. And my tuna croquettes are insanely delicious. I use jalapeno instead of scallions and top with a mixture of avocado, lime juice, and labne.

Have 3 more stories to edit for the June issue. I'm still figuring out how aggressively to edit these stories. Some need very little, while others need much more--which is expected, obvs. I worry though, when authors get pissy about edits, that maybe I'm being too slashy with my metaphorical red pen. Thing is, I very rarely press for a specific edit. My edits are plentiful sometimes, but they're always given as suggestions. I suppose if I always give authors the option of accepting or rejecting each change (Thank you, MSWord), I'm not being "a tyrant" even if I make a zillion edits. Yes, someone has actually called me a tyrant, while another asshole decided that going over my edits was too time intensive, and went on to lecture me about time being valuable and him putting "all the time in on this story" that he intended to. WTF really? I found that so pretentious I thought the guy might have been punking me. But he didn't say shit when I took him out of the payroll.

H is starting physical therapy on Monday. I worry, because H doesn't do medical stuff well. But he fell and hurt his arm, and it still hurt 3 weeks later, so he has to. At least it won't be crazy expensive. Our insurance covers a lot more now. Plus, we'll be out all day Monday at appointments so I'm making a broccoli cheese soup in the crock pot. So pleased to have a nice crock pot since my old one was a total crapshack.

Decided not to watch Fargo after all. I don't really have time for a new show. Plus I heard they don't have a Marge Gunderson. I call bullshit on that.
Have you seen this Jimi Hendrix biography where Bootsy Collins reads Jimi's bio in the first-person? It's badass.

Game of Thrones has been pretty good so far this season.
Let the bodies hit the floor, amirite?

Movie Talk

Jan. 17th, 2014 06:45 am
wednes: (Default)
Dude, Where's my Car? is a cheap homage to American Grafitti.

House of 1,000 Corpses is a better remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre than the actual remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Most horror remakes are shitty.  A few are great:
Dawn of the Dead
The Fly
The Hills Have Eyes
13 Ghosts
Red Dragon (original title: Manhunter)

Some are pretty good
The Hitcher
Psycho
Salem's Lot
Halloween
Last House on the Left
Night of the Living Dead (Savini)

I wouldn't say these are definitive list, but those are the ones that come to mind.  I also really need to have a lot more Pixar movies.  As I was thinking that, Disney sent me a thing to join their movie club.  H doesn't have a copy of Avengers, which he totally should.  I need a copy of Up, and would like to have Monsters Inc and Wreck it Ralph.

Found out tonight that the head writer from The Daily Show has left to work on John Oliver's new show.  This bodes well for Oliver, and HBO, and us viewers.  I imagine TDS writing staff is solid enough that this won't be an issue that makes it all the way to us.  

"New Year"

Jan. 6th, 2014 04:24 am
wednes: (Wut?  JoJo)
I still think it's dumb to start a new year in the middle of winter. Where I am, there's literally a foot of snow on the ground, and even seasoned Michiganders (NOT Michiganians though, because fuck them!) are losing their shit. It's dangerous out there, folks. I predict that H and I will have a spirited argument when he goes back to work Wednesday night. He'll insist that it's perfectly safe to walk a mile to the bus stop. I'll disagree strenuously and end up envisioning stoned Ann Arborites sliding their Volkswagons off the road and right into H.

*sigh*

Otherwise though, all is well at Chez Wednes.
I decided to by myself the damn Furby (*Zoidberg voice* Why not?) since I was rolling in gift certificates and totally wanted one. Sadly, the accompanying app will not work on my iPod. I've been thinking about getting a new iPod touch (or probably a newer refurbished one), since I need a way to take credit cards at events. After I figure out a new computer, that will be my next fanciful tech-want.

Been looking around to pick up another writing gig. I'm amazed at how little some of these places are offering when they want people who've been published in national magazines. Two dollars a page. Really?

Technical issues at the mag continue to vex me. I'm told that the EiC will be more available this year, so that will be good. There's a lot of great fiction coming up. Artists continue to be awesome in letting us use their work. The Feb cover is creepy cute, while March will be downright gruesome. Working with authors continues to have its challenges. Who knew customer service skills would come in so handy working with pushy authors and their fragile author egos? Oh wait, I did. ;-) Anyway, the January issue will be available on Amazon soon. If you've been readin' the mag it would be awesome if you could take a mo' and leave a review. If you'd like a review copy to check out (you'll need to leave a review at Amazon and Goodreads to get a freebie), hit me up.

Been actually writing the screenplay instead of just talking about it. For now, Final Draft is the software that's working best for me. I really only like Word for stuff that's full of paragraphs. It's not as funny as it should be yet. After I lay out the story, I can go back through and punch it up.

Did I already post about Stoker? OMG it was fucking incredible. The cast was pitch-perfect--Matthew Goode is one of the creepiest guys in the world--except usually he does romantic comedies. Ew, right? Stoker was truly exceptional. Scary, sexy, suspenseful, and damn surprising. Loved it.
wednes: (Handfasting)
H and I celebrate Christmas the old fashioned way:
We buy each other stuff we wouldn't normally buy.

I got H:
A spinny top that works with a string
chinese finger trap
Star Trek Next Gen Pez dispenser box set
Alien T-shirt
Tee fury T-shirt with every Doctor on it.
Onion hardback front page collection
2 pr satin boxer shorts

He got me:
Doctor River Song sonic screwdriver
box of dark chocolate hazelnut truffles
hazelnut milk
Whole Foods hazelnut coffee creamer
smoked hazelnut gelato (outrageous!)
organic choco hazelnut spread (that is NOT nutella)
ventresca tuna
2 packs of Nathans hot dogs because we love them and only one store in the area actually sells them. Woot!

So yeah, that was nice.
Most of our peeps got cards and homemade lip balms.
Always well received and appreciated, so far.

We also got a big tin of cookies and a pumpkin bread from my Aunt, and another bag of yummy treats from my old college pal who visited today.

We also watched Doctor Who, which I haven't reviewed yet but will.
wednes: (Handfasting)
H and I finished the last of the lip balms today. Awesome.
He doesn't really have to help, but it goes so much easier with an extra pair of hands. We did chocolate orange, coconut lime, and cherry cordial. Two of these we also did last year, but they turned out a bit different anyway.

I love that I'm not baking this year for Xmas. H is getting cookies for his birthday, and my brother will probably get some. That is all.
For H's birthday dinner, he wants bacon double cheeseburgers and fries.
This totally works for me. I didn't used to be good at making double cheeseburgers because my habit is to make thick burgers so they can be nice and pink on the inside but a bit charry on the outside. But then I figured out the right way to do really lean, flat burgers that sit nicely atop each other.

What presents is H getting?
So glad you asked:
--A T-shirt with all the Doctor (Who)'s on it
--Some PS3 game called Kingdom of Amalur
(Todd MacFarland worked on it)
--The best covers from The Onion

For Xmas, H is getting:
--Two more T-shirts (one Doctor Who, one Alien)
--2 pair satin boxer shorts
--Another Onion collection
--Star Trek Next Gen Pez collection
--Stocking stuffed with candy and small toys

Holly Daze

Dec. 12th, 2013 07:37 pm
wednes: (Vincent)
I didn't make it to mass at St Francis last week despite my best efforts. Snow and cabs thwarted me. This week, I shall time call! (for non-cab people, this means scheduling the cab the night before)

I decided to take it really easy on myself this holiday season. We're not having anyone over for New Years Eve, first of all. So that's a LOT of cooking I won't have to do. I'm also not baking anything, except for H's birthday. Even with very little family in the area, there seems to be such a glut of cookies, fudge, and other holiday sweets that giving them out starts to seem like a cumbersome imposition.
In contrast, my Wednes-made lip balms have been turning out well and are pretty popular. Most of them can be sent with cards in padded mailers (H always makes us an awesome card). And nobody has to lay any diet-shaming talk on me about how "naughty" they'll feel when they eat cookies--because unless you're a disturbed youngster, you don't eat lip balm.

Aside from H and my goddaughter, I'm also not buying many presents. I get a little splashy with birthday gifts, but Xmas is just too huge and spendy to be getting pressies for everyone. That said, I did buy my goddaughter a Furby. I got an awesome Black Friday (why you gotta bring race into it?!?) deal on it, and I know she really wanted it. Honestly, I wouldn't mind a play robot myself, but I'm certainly not spending that kind of money on a toy for me.

Computer is worse than ever. In addition to having a broken click-bar, I'm looking at 12+ minutes to open Photoshop, and sometimes 10 minutes just for MS Word. Bearing in mind that I have to run INDesign including conversions, it's very frustrating. If I leave it unplugged, it will shut down itself at 20% power and without a warning. Gah! Mostly, I want to replace this computer before it shuts down completely and I can't get my stuff off it. I only have so many tiny flash drives, and most of them will not hold the magazine archive. *sigh* The down side to working at home and online is that if anything happens to my computer, I'm pretty much boned.

In better news, you can now Subscribe to Under the Bed magazine at Amazon. B&N is still taking a stupid long time to get the new issues up, but you can buy single issues from them. The best place to get single issues though, is at the FicMag website.

Found out today that there's a short film adaptation of Abed which is a short story I first read in Skipp and Spector's Book(s) of the Dead which I was just talking about on Facebook as being particularly influential to me. This particular story is now sold singly, with the same publisher as me, in fact. I'll be receiving a review copy soon, so that's fly. ZZN is starting to get active again. I'm throwing up my thoughts on Walking Dead this weekend if I have time. Mostly though, I'll be editing stories for the Feb issue and laying out the Jan issue once H gets the graphics to me.
wednes: (Farnsworth/zombie jesus)
I had a dream that Bill Maher got assassinated and HBO invited me to take over the show. They also wanted me to write the new season of True Blood, but I said no because it was too late to save that crapshack. Imagine all the cool people I'd get to meet if I hosted Real Time. It would only be kind of offset by the number of complete and utter asshats I'd have to endure.

My new website should be live by the end of the week. The designer, my 2nd cousin I think he is, is doing a swell job. If our moms are cousins, that makes us second cousins, right? Anyway, it's a wordpress site with a slick new layout. It builds on a lot of the stuff I've been doing since my first site went up around 2009.

Mag issues continue to be awesome, while my skill at InDesign leaves me feeling like I should stick to crayons. I still can't figure out how to export issues to mobi or epub that people will actually be able to read. Fie. Is there a service where I can pay someone to come over and show me? There should be.

H and celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary on Monday. The actual anniv was Saturday, but of course H had to work. I got him a new watch, a bottle of ghost pepper hot sauce, and some sour cherry Turkish delight, because he loves those Narnia books. He got me a new set of wrist braces since my old ones were pretty sad. He also bought us dinner from Banditos, which is now my fave mexican delivery place in town. We liked Burrito Joint but their uncooked rice broke my tooth, so we ain't going back there.
H and I will have been together for 15 years in July--since we lived together for 7 years before we decided to get married in a year. Fuck. That is a long time for someone to put up with my crap. It's kind of unbelievable.

Maverick is out for mac computers. It's also free. Nice!
I desperately need a new computer, so I'm hoping to be able to do that by the end of the year. Wanna help? Subscribing to the mag is a good way to do that, while supporting small authors and artists. Or, you could just send a macbook pro to my place, and I could open it and use it. ;-]

Dexter

Sep. 23rd, 2013 06:16 pm
wednes: (TV!!!)
Even if you've never seen an ep of Dexter in your life, you've probably heard people bitching about the finale online. See, any show that's been on TV for longer than one season will have haters after the finale--no exception. If I liked the finale, the haters can shut up. If I didn't like it--well, they can have at it. ;-] (I liked LOST and Sopranos, but was furious with BSG, for example)

Despite the formulaic season structure on Dexter, and despite the fact that we went through this season surrounded by pivotal characters we barely knew--I thought the finale was beautiful and tragic. I liked it very much.

That said, Dexter pales in comparison to other things on TV...now. I don't know what genius at Showtime decided to run the Dexter finale the week before the Breaking Bad finale, but that was a terrible choice. And it didn't just work out that way--it was planned. Dexter was moved ahead over a month from when it normally airs, so I don't get that at all. Speaking of Breaking Bad. Damn...this shit is getting really sad. Maybe crime doesn't pay?

With S1 Under the Dome behind us, I'm starting to review Hostages tonight. I hope I didn't choose wrong, because we watched the Sleepy Hollow premiere last week and it was pretty good. I don't even think GeekBinge is covering that, which is a drag.

Speaking of good, Boardwalk Empire has been kicking ass.

In Under the Bed news, the EiC and I made the choice to skip a month of the mag so we could have a regular release schedule. This is due to some weirdness at B&N and some other crap I didn't really want to worry about. So what was Undead September is now our October issue. November will be full of monsters. For December, I really want to put the Krampus on the cover. I'm hoping someone will come through with a drawing. *eyes you artists*

You can beat the rush on our awesome zombie issue by subscribing before it comes out. Here is where you'd do that. It's only $1.99 a month, or even less for a whole year--$19.99. Every month you get at least five awesome short stories along with features (*ahem* [personal profile] porcelain72), reviews, interviews, and my own snarky commentary. How can you resist, and why would you want to?

We have Wreck-it-Ralph on the DVR.
If H won't watch it with me, I'm going to punch him.
I wish I had a boxing glove. I'm not a very hard puncher.

Best Dishes

Sep. 2nd, 2013 02:22 am
wednes: (4 Tea)
Before I begin with today's post, I just have to say:
How in the name of complete and utter fuck is it September already?

Moving on...
When I was on college, I once whipped up some green bean casserole after a night of drinking and et cetera. A couple of my friends were amazed by it. "Green beans and mushrooms and some kind of creamy sauce?" Outrageous!

I didn't know how anyone could get through life without encountering green bean casserole. This is even more true when you're talking to people whose families go to church. How do you get out of a church picnic without a scoop? Not to mention um...Thanksgiving.

Years later, H told me the same thing. He'd never heard of green bean casserole, but he really liked it. He wanted it all the time. A few years ago, H's grandmother told me about this wonderful dish she had at a church Christmas dinner or some such. She also had never heard of it and was really hoping she could find the recipe. She described it--and it was green bean casserole. Of course I sat down and wrote it out for her, and sent it in the mail so she'd have a hard copy. I don't think she has a computer.

Thinking about it, I realized that all of the people who didn't know about green bean casserole were African American. In case you don't know, green bean casserole was invented in the 50's. Campbell soup company put it in a recipe book called "Cooking with Soup." They used to send it out free to--well, wives, so they'd have even more reasons to buy Campbell's soup.

A few days ago, I told H that I had a craving for tuna casserole. He asked me what that was. *blink blink* Really? Tuna noodle casserole? How is it possible that--oh...it's yet another recipe that calls for Campbell's cream of mushroom soup (or thereabouts). The stuff in the Cooking with Soup cookbook is mostly recipes that require no fresh ingredients. I honestly don't know whether or not that would have been more economical at the time.

Now I want full data on how those cookbooks were distributed, and to what target demo. I mean, I have a guess...but it's just weird to me that with people living in the same cities at the same time (Detroit, for example, or Philly)--some people completely missed out on information others were given for free. Surely Campbell's wanted as many people as possible to buy their yummy, salt-filled soups?

Anyway, we're having tuna noodle casserole tomorrow. I don't think I have any peas though, so probably I'll use broccoli. It won't be completely authentic. H should like that fine, and it's not like he's gonna know any better. He's never had it before. o.O
wednes: (Sow the Seed)
My plan for yesterday was to get up, get a few hours of work done, then make dinner and hang out with H. We only get a few nights to hang out, so I look forward to them. Got up, got some work done. Suddenly, I felt like complete crap. Pain in my back and side, headache...I thought I might be having another kidney stone. That would be infuriating, since I gave up almonds, which I love.

A few minutes later, I got crazy chills. Like INSANE chills. I got into bed and put 2 blankets on myself. Still cold. H came in and doubled up the blankets. Still cold. He doubled up a comforter on me...so I had a doubled up blanket, a doubled up comforter, and a patch quilt on me. Still fucking cold. Luckily, H is a furnace, so he covered me with his mighty heat-releasing form. When it seems obvious that there would be no dinner and I wasn't getting out of bed, he turned on a DVD of Salem's Lot until I fell asleep.

Slept 4 hours. Woke up feeling better. Still not feeling tip top, and have no idea what that was all about. I do know that I've been incredibly stressed lately between work and my own fiction and now the magazine. I imagine my immune system is run down. It doesn't seem like a kidney stone now, nor does it seem like my ulcer is back. I kicked that ulcer's ass when I left my old day-job.

Now, of course, I can't sleep. This means I almost certainly won't be up in time to make H last night's dinner before he goes to sleep for work (about 2pm). Fie! He really wants it too, because it's mexican meat pie with polenta crust.
wednes: (Stabby Rage)
We are not as poor as some people, certainly. When I need to go to the doctor, I get to actually go. When he writes me prescriptions, I can get all the generics filled. When he prescribes non-generics, he'll work with me to get samples and stuff. We're pretty lucky, we know it.

Our apartment does not have rats, or mice, or roaches (LOL). The ants are kept at bay from diligently cleaning (LOL, again) and calling the bug spray guy fairly often. Still, I'm not wild about having poison sprayed around my home.
Whaddaya gonna do, amirite?

After two illegal entries in one year, (and several others over the years that ended up being less horrible than the recent ones) many broken agreements with the office, we want to get the hell out of here. We've been throwing rent into the trash for over a decade now, because that's what poor people with no credit have to do. Well, we're sick of it. At the same time, we don't really have any options. The last time I felt like this, I contemplated doing a robbery so I could have a place to live that was less abusive than where I was (at "home"). But now I have an awesome husband, we're just fucking poor despite both having full-time jobs.

So yeah...we're looking at manufactured homes.
I feel so dirty.

Walking

Apr. 14th, 2013 06:24 am
wednes: (Count Thumps Edward)
I like to take walks at this time of day (6am). I took one this morning after an oddly timed nap (less than half a brownie was WAY too much, apparently). There weren't many people around except random dog walkers. I chatted with one this morning, nice guy. Nobody I'd talked to before. Then this happened:

*chat, chat, chat*

They: "Are you married?"

Me: Yes

They: "How long?"

Me: *tells him*

They: "You guys have kids?"

Me: Nope, just some cats.

They: "That's good."

Me: ... I'm sorry?

They: "I don't wanna talk out of turn, but you shouldn't be having babies with a guy who's...like that."

Me: Like what?

They: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's none of my business. You have a good day now." *walks away with dog*

Me: *thinking* WTF, seriously? If I knew the guy or knew he knew who H was, I'd assume he was racist. But I didn't know what the hell to think.

I came home and was pretty pissed off. I went into the bathroom to splash some water on me, and see that while I was napping, my recently touched up blue hair left a bit of a smear on my cheek and to the left of my eye. In low light, it looked like someone beat the crap out of my face.

So in reality, my neighbor was trying to be a nice guy. In retrospect, it would not have been ridiculous for him to have reacted even more strongly. I want to correct this impression of my wonderful husband, but I didn't even ask the guy his name--so I have no idea who he is. He's the guy with some kind of doberman mix on the other side of the complex.

Sorry, neighborman. You're alright by me!
I promise, NOBODY smacks me around.
wednes: (Found Wednes)
I enjoy Valentines Day. So fucking sue me--as soon as you're done complaining about it, I mean. If you really find things to hate in hearts, candy, and couple-flavored fun, I might humbly suggest that you're a bitter crank? Did Cupid run over your dog or something? Giving people cards, candy, and small gifts is totally fun and nice whether it's for your partner, your sibling, or the harried single mom in the next cubicle. If you really can't bring yourself to join in the fun for some crank reason, at the very least, stop trying to ruin the good times for others...you bitter fucking crank.

To whit, I got H a Blu-Ray copy of Flash Gordon (the movie with the kickass Queen soundtrack). It was astonishingly cheap and has awesomely heroic Alex Ross art on the cover. What? You don't like Alex Ross either? Damn, you ARE a crank.
I also got H a book about the making of Star Trek, Next Generation. It is really thick and cool and has an introduction by Ronald D Moore, who H is very fond of. He's already read me some fascinating stories from it. We're having Valentine's Day today because H works on Thursday. I'm making his favorite dinner tonight: chili con carne--which we call Chili.

H is in the kitchen right now, making a cake. Yeah, you heard right. He did this once before, and I literally talked about it for years. I even called his mom to tell her, back when she and I were friends (before the wedding). He's making the same cake again today. It's a flourless chocolate cake that requires him to melt chocolate in the double boiler, separate eggs, and whip cream by hand. I sure as hell don't do that when *I* make a cake.
See kids, that is romance. Not about money and mall jewelry necessarily, but about stepping out of your comfort zone to do things you wouldn't normally do. We're poor as shit and may never own a home or be able to retire. But we have a wonderful life, mainly because we're good and kind to each other.
And we don't have any kids. ;-] I don't know how people do that...


In other news, the marketing gig is being written off as a big bust.
Dang and Fie! But fuck that guy.
(Ha! That totally rhymes)
Kiss Me Like You Love Me is in editing and will be getting a new cover design--mainly because I don't own the rights to the other one. I won the battle to not have Mikey on the cover. Yay for that! It should be back out as an E-book in a few weeks, with the audiobook following as soon as I can schedule the recording sessions. A Stabbing for Sadie will be next.
Still looking to pick up part-time work in writing, editing, SEO, marketing, and the like. So if you know anyone...I'm WAY better at social media than say, whoever is doing that for Applebees.
wednes: (Elephant on Trampoline)
Xmas came and went. We talked to relatives on the phone and/or online, exchanged gifts and had a friend over for breakfast-dinner. Pancakes, sausage, and a nice frittata. I don't get to make frittatas much because H doesn't like eggs.

H got me the Marauder's Map and the cool frame for it that opens up. It's whomping huge when you unfold it. I got him a bunch of books and T-shirts and miscellany. He also got me three different kinds of bacon from Zingerman's. Tonight we had the back bacon cut into hunks and tossed with whole wheat pasta--so we can pretend it was a healthy meal. Ha.

The various balms I gave away as gifts this year were well received. I'll very likely do this again. I thought I might do a bunch of Zom*balms if I ever have a book release party. No idea whether or not that's on the horizon.

Still feeling unmotivated and sad about writer things. I just don't have the marketing budget to punch through the wailing cacaphony of shitty writers out there. It pisses me off that one of my (very, VERY few) reviews says that The Finster Effect had "a lot of typos." It doesn't. As far as I can tell, it has one. And that wasn't actually a typo, it was an editing error. I don't know why I care--except that I'm tired of no one knowing who the hell I am. Plus, I have no idea how to set up a marketing plan and budget, because I have no idea what's going on with any of my work. Come to think of it, I'm only assuming my book sales are low. I haven't actually heard one way or the other.

The only thing I'm sure about is that not letting that other creep cut out the animal chapters was a good idea.

I was angry and sad all day, so I didn't get any work done. That means I'll probably be up until noon trying to work. Fie. I really hope I don't end up writing advertising for the rest of my life.

Blecch!

Dec. 18th, 2012 02:58 pm
wednes: (Heavenly Creatures)
Still crawling out of my angry depressed black hole. Wanted to get some stuff out of the way early so I could get some work done. No dice. Tired. Blah.

The Dexter finale was okay, but didn't settle much.
Gave H his birthday pressies last night since he's working on his actual birthday.

He got:
A Phillies T-shirt
Doctor Who Illustrated Dictionary
Dead Island for PS3.

Funnily enough, Dead Island instructions and characters read almost exactly like Left 4 Dead. Don't gamers get sick of that?

Finished 3 flavors of lip BLAM (peppermint patty, cherry cordial, lime in the coconut) and then ten 1oz pots of chest rub. It's gonna say on it Zom-Balm. "A shot to the head...cold." Hahahahahahaa! Gonna make a few cakes or cookies and send them out to fam with the balms. Cool, eh?
wednes: (Eye of Wednes)
Been working my ass off as of late, yet my ass has inexplicably remained the same size. Just as well, I'd hate to have to buy all new pants.

Bills are getting paid. My CPAP will be paid off by February--sooner if this marketing company keeps throwing extra work my way. The TV reviews are still small income generators. Mostly they are fun, and let me write off the cable and internet bills. Yay!

Tax time is coming. Can't wait to hear all the internet banter about the bullshit Fiscal Cliff the GOP manufactured. This is another of those areas in which I'm baffled as to what they think they're doing.
It should be clear as a bell to anyone with eyes that those giant tax breaks for rich people are NOT creating jobs. If they were, there would be tons of jobs right now. The reason so many businesses aren't hiring is that they don't NEED new employees. The middle class is low on cash so nobody is buying anything. If people actually had disposable income, they could buy shit, businesses could hire. Tax revenues would go up, and the need for welfare would go down. I'm not an economic genius or anything--but this plan of giving the rich giant meals in the hopes that crumbs will fall to the poor--it's asinine and only a fool would believe it. And to the mooks who say no one will try if they have to pay taxes--well THOSE are the moochers you're always bitching about. If you're only trying, creating, doing, building etc because you hope it will make you rich--fuck you. You probably don't have anything remarkable inside you anyway. The pursuit of vast wealth is insipid and displays a complete lack of understanding about the very nature of life and humanity.

I love Patricia Walden's Iyengar Yoga vids. LOVE.

H and I went to my cousin's wedding last Saturday. My mom didn't attend because I was there. Classy lassy, that one! (not) The family was warm and welcoming. In the years I was away, all the kids turned into adults, and all the adults turned into old people. Uncle *name-redacted* did not get drunk and roll his glass eye across the table like he did when I was little. Drag. Aunt *redacted again* and her partner finally started introducing each other as their "partner." Even as a teenager I didn't think any grown-ups actually had the same roommate for that long. A good rule of thumb is that if two same-sex people get a new place together more than twice--they're almost certainly a couple. Another good way to find out is to ask. ;-]
It was a good wedding. I was glad I went. They were glad to have me there. H is a delight in social situations. So Yay on that!

Had an online exchange with my younger cousin who also has no name. She posted "My friend OD'd on pot--said no one ever." Cut for Pot Talk )

Today is looking over the new Stig and the Puppetman I finished last night. Then four marketing articles. Then, trying a new recipe for lip balm that I hope will not result in a bunch of wasted garbage. Cocoa peppermint again.
Later, I'm gonna do coconut lime lip balm, and some 1oz containers of chest rub--like for colds. Neat, eh?
wednes: (Wednes Poison)
Got up today, prepared to do my last 8 articles for the week. After that, I was gonna be free to work on Stig and the Puppetman, which is due at the end of the month. After that, would have been Millicent Mixter. But I got hit up for some emergency work, and had to do six articles today on subjects I knew nothing about. So it actually took longer than the 8 I was going to write--and which I now have to write tomorrow. Boo!
I don't know when I'm gonna have time to work on the trailer. Tomorrow is already Wednesday, plus I'm not going to get anything done Saturday as I have a thing I'm going to. Yikes.

On the plus side, this is the last week I have to do three reviews a week. In the future, I'm not going to do more than two, though one is preferable in addition to what I do for ZZN. I need to pitch the sex site I'm writing for, though they haven't put up my last article yet. Any topics you want to see? They seem to like lists. Damn lists...fun, but kinda lazy and fluffy, ya know?

Picked myself out a new knife. It's supposed to be here tomorrow. A box of stuff from Amazon came today, which turned out to be stuff for me, from H. We have a $40 budget for birthdays, so he got me some stuff from my wish list. A replacement copy of Raving Rabids to replace the one I loaned Cindy. This one has more games on it though, so Yay! We have a riot playing Wii--usually on Sunday afternoons. Also, the original Clash of the Titans and a DVD of Tommy which I love. And Twilight Zone: The Movie which is both famous and infamous.
Poor Vic.
And finally, this glorious thing. I've wanted this zombie book for some time now, and it's even better in person than it looked online. I loves it!

For H's birthday, which is 25 days from now, he's getting the 11th Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver. It makes the right noise, and lights up, and is an actual screwdriver. Badass, right? He's also getting a Bugs Bunny T-shirt and a crazy hot bottle of hot sauce. He gets a new hot sauce from me every year.

Made a batch of chocolate peppermint lip balm. Well, I attempted to do that. I actually made an oily mess that had to be discarded, along with $16 worth of blank tubes. Drag. I had a bum recipe, and have done a bunch of research. This weekend, I'll buy new blank tubes and try again. We shall see... I also want to do a batch of cherry, and some cold balm with eucalyptus, lemon, tea tree, that sort of thing.
wednes: (Grimey)
Time for my yearly Thanksgiving post.
Lucky you!

I am thankful to be doing the writer thing for reals. I write for my living, and I write books. I have a little side income from fun writing like interviews and TV reviews. I'm making comics and editing my own book trailer together. Once I have 120 pages or so of Stig and the Puppetman Imma totally get that shit published as its own book.
It's amazing to me that I have second editions coming out. I'm blown away by the fact that I'm making actual money from books I've written. It still seems more like an impossible fantasy than something I have to get done before the end of the month. If that makes any sense.

I am thankful to have family in my life, which is not something I'm known for saying. Years of reconciling the "loss" of a family made me forget how really awesome some of those people are. I got a cool sparkly pink card from my favorite aunt (who is also my godmother). You have to remember someone's birthday at least a week in advance, and then go get them a card, find a goddamn stamp...it's a whole friggin' ordeal to get a card to someone a few days before a birthday.
Plus, you know, I've got that brother I think is pretty cool. Not sure if he's coming to the par tay on Saturday, but I hope so. Looks to be a fun crowd this year. Glad to be keeping the menu simple--but yummy. Prepare for toom, peeps! (no, I don't mean toom-flavored peeps, because that would be nightmarish)
I also got a birthday card from my insurance agent, and my alma mater. My alma mater seems to think I can afford to do a lot more donating than I'm actually doing.

As usual, what I'm most thankful for is H.
My husband is my perfect match.
So yeah, I've got the kind of life that blows my mind with goodness.
Speaking of blowing my mind with goodness, I made this:
wednes: (Jack Mocks)
The Leonid meteor shower was still supposed to be going on tonight. Nice for us, since H is home from work, and we have a telescope. I'm told that if you can find the right place to point it, you can see some cool stuff. No dice. We've had rain all day, and clouds friggin' everywhere. Sad times.

I'm trying to get all my marketing work done before Thanksgiving. I'm making a nice meal and H is off work. We're having a few friends over, people who want a nice meal and don't have local family or whatever. If you are such a person and would like to come, let me know. We're having pasta with meatballs (I've never made meatballs before, so they might suck) and a roasted pepper cream sauce. I'll also be making bread sticks. Somebody is bringing a chocolatey dessert.

Saturday is my annual birthday bash. I decided not to get all stressed out about cooking this year. We're having hot dogs and a crock pot full of baked beans. I'm making fresh salsa, toom (also a first for me, but I'm fairly confident that it won't suck), and a pineapple cake. If you are typically invited and haven't heard from me, it's because I suck at invites these days. Facebook is lame for that stuff, but I don't think I have everyone's right Email anymore.
In better news, H is cleaning the house.

Last time I got a salon haircut, it was the kind that you're supposed to maintain. Yeah, right. Months later, it is all grown out and looks awful. I have a party this weekend, and an actual family wedding with my actual family next weekend. So a haircut is in order despite my not having $80 to get one. (Yes, it really costs that much with cab fare.) So I trimmed up the front, and tried to trim up the back. I think it's a fail though. I gotta have somebody come over and trim it, because that's another one of those things H simply will not attempt. It's just hair, and cutting it in a straight line. *sigh*

37000 / 50000
(74%)


See everybody Saturday!
wednes: (Stabby Rage)
American Horror Story: Aslyum served it up last night. The link is me, telling GeekBinge all about it.

Having quit my day-job in July, I have now (mid October--uh, go me?) secured enough steady work that I don't actually need to look for more. I'm back to paying my share around here and getting those fucking medical bills off my back. Oddly enough, our deductible is actually going down next year. Thanks, Obamacare. It's still a bitch to come up with a few extra thousand dollars every year; but right now I'm just thankful that we're not getting crushed even harder than the previous year--which is what's been happening since oh, 2001 or so.

In addition for my writing and editing at ZZN, I'm also writing for GeekBinge (see above), and doing marketing writing for a company what shall remain nameless. Doing occasional mystery shops so I can get free stuff and have a reason to step outside on occasion. Recently secured a gig with a sexy-times site called Kinkly. My first article for them will go up soon. H finally relented on letting me use my real name since I'm not talking about anything from the POV of personal experience. Apparently, the fact that we have an awesome sex life is supposed to be some kind of giant secret. So if you see H, pretend you know nothing...
Actually, if you *do* see him, wish him a Happy Anniversary, because it's tomorrow. Though we've been together since 1999, we've only been married since 2007.

Still fighting this same chest cold I've had for a friggin' month. Good thing, as bleaching out the entirety of the CPAP every night grows tedious.

I predict that Obama will win the election.
I don't think even Americans en masse are stupid enough to fall for Romney and his bullshit.
wednes: (Sow the Seed)
My sleep schedule has been full of the craze--Crazeful, if you will...
I've always wanted to be in some kind of Overlook Hotel situation where I can sleep, wake, eat etc whenever I wanted with no thought of anyone else's schedule. I'd be curious to see how much sleep I'd actually want, and what the intervals would be. *sigh* No matter what I do, someone wants to make some kind of demand of my time. If only I could be totally snowed in.

I'm cutting this pic due to hugeness )
This marvelous thing arrived in the mail. WOW! and wow again.
Big thanks to the sender, [personal profile] crowjoy. You are badass!

Under this cut is a rather large pic of one of the anthologies I was in over the summer. )

My Obama Biden 2012 bumper sticker also arrived. I'm not posting a pic since I presume you've all seen a fucking bumper sticker before.

In case you forgot, or *gasp* didn't know to begin with, I'm covering a few shows this season for GeekBinge. Whatever you do, do NOT cheat yourself out of the awesome episode reviews I'm putting up for Boardwalk Empire on HBO, and Dexter on Showtime. Starting this week, I'm also covering American Horror Story. When the mid-season shows start, I'll also be doing episode reviews of Following--which is the new series with Kevin Bacon and *swooooooon* James Purefoy. That guy is stupid-hot, and even more swoonworthy is the fact that he's an engaging and versatile performer.

I'm not actually covering The Walking Dead this season. I presumed someone at ZZN would handle it, but that place is might as well have virtual tumbleweeds rolling past. I wish the dudes would come back and write some shit. After all...it's zombie season. It can't be all about Floridians eating each other's faces, after all.

This Friday is my 5-year Wedding anniversary.
Time flies when you're happily married, eh?
wednes: (Tyrion)
I was going to refer to these as "Bullet Points," but then I remembered that we're toning down the violent rhetoric.

--TV writing is behind schedule.

--Writing for TV is awesome.

--If I was a mystery shopper, I wouldn't be able to tell you about it.

--Enjoyed free bacon today.

--Copy of "Spiders" Anthology arrived this afternoon. Neat.

--Have had chest cold for 9 days now.

--Chest colds are horrible.

--Marketing writing continues unabated.

--Gonna watch a shitty action movie with H tonight.

--Either Battle Los Angeles, or Cowboys Versus Aliens
EDIT: We actually watched The Thing prequel.
Aside from some silly CGI, it was pretty good.

--Red Meat for dinner. Red meat makes me happy.

--NaNoWriMo soon.

--Sadie 2nd Edition editing is slow going.

--I used to say that the prez at my former day-job looked a lot like Anderson Cooper. But that was before I knew who Paul Ryan was.

--I'm kind of surprised that Warren Buffet or someone like that hasn't stepped up to cover PBS in the federal budget. Why isn't there a group of rich liberals doing this?

--Stig and the Puppetman is so much fun. I'm seriously going to do enough of these for a book. Seriously, I am.
wednes: (Default)
Some of you know that my upcoming novel The Finster Effect is named after a real-life buddy of mine who is affectionately called Finster.

See Fig 1.


Finster and I met in my junior year of high school--the year I switched schools and had to start all over trying to make friends. I sucked at this. Finster was in my typing class, which we both almost failed because instead of doing assignments, we typed each other letters. There are a bunch of them at my mom's house in my hope chest. We were also in Fiddler on the Roof together (Sounds crazy, no?) along with that Andre guy from the first season of The Real World on Mtv. [Bad username or unknown identity: sudrin"] knows this because he came to see me in a performance. We weren't sure at first if we were going to date or be buddies. We ended up being buddies, and I never actually liked one of his girlfriends--until he met the one he eventually married.

Finster has a bunch of sisters. The only one I actually know doesn't like me. I've often wondered how a chick with such a cool haircut could endure such a sharp stick up her ass...but I digress. After high school I went to Olivet College and he joined the Army. Within a few years, we were both back in our parent's places and started hanging out again.

For much of my 20's, I looked for love, a better job, and kept on going to shows with Finster. Mostly we saw Jason McCauley Berry and the All Night Fish Market at bars around Detroit. Jason is a good friend of mine from college. The band rocked so hard. Once we went all the way to Chicago and I threw up in the middle of the street. Hippy drugs and booze flowed pretty freely back then and a good time was had by all. These were days of 4am opening shifts at McDonalds, LSD, and the very end of my having any sort of relationship with the mater. There was also dancing. Tons and tons of dancing. There were gigs where Finster and I were the only ones dancing in the whole club. But dance, we did.


Me and Finz circa 1995

Eventually, ANFM stopped playing together. Jason became the booking guy at the Blind Pig. Finster moved to California and eventually got married. I met H and started writing books and doing my thing.

But...

Tomorrow, Jason McCauley Berry and the All Night Fish Market is playing a reunion show in Ferndale. I'm going, this time, with H. Finster is flying out from California (come to think of it, he's probably already here) so I have someone to dance with. There's a BBQ at the home of one of my fellow Heathen Ranch buddies, followed by the show. I am SO super stoked!
wednes: (Pot meets Kettle)
Uverse on Demand requires a bit of buffering. Who knew?

It was pretty good. Snappy writing, fun action scenes, Loki is a great villain and everyone was well developed, I thought.

The Hulk, though. There was some rather rampant inconsistency in terms of how much control he had over his Hulkiness. They led us to believe it was none, but then it was some, then it was a bunch. But why? And why did no one discuss it at all?

Jeremy Renner. Damn. Wow. Damn and wow. I loved him in the Jeffery Dahmer movie (which I merely liked), but this was amazing. He had such a strong screen presence. His physicality screamed ICON. Why didn't he get his own movie? Seriously. Give me it!

This week I'm finishing up edits to Kiss Me Like You Love Me so I can re-release it early next year.

I gotta put some more blue in my hair tomorrow so I look super awesome for the big show this weekend. These dudes are playing on Saturday for the first time in 15 years. My buddy Finster is flying out from California so I don't have to dance by myself. It's gonna be way far insane and awesome. H is even going, he got the night off work. I know, right?

Working on the next Stig and the Puppetman comic about the two mismatched roommates who are also serial killers. Yay! It's fun making comics, and I really enjoy how they're coming out. So good on that.

Got approved for another job. Another one of these gigs where I have no idea whatsoever how much work there will be or when it will come in. Drag.
The steady stuff is groovy, but I wish there was more of it.
wednes: (Vyv ;-()
Some of you may remember that I had a pretty big freak out during H's open enrollment last November. H has been at his current gig for over 15 years and is not eligible for any more raises as he is "topped out." We didn't mind so much, because our biggest expenses were rent and my medical stuff. BCBS is supposed to be like winning the lottery of insurances.

BCBS used to offer us a decent plan. As long as a doc confirmed that I "really needed" something, I got it. That's how I finally got the mental, emotional, and medical help I needed. It's how I learned about my ulcers, my kidney-stones, and my random internal bleeding. It's also how I finally got the sleep study and CPAP I'd clearly needed since childhood.

I have memories of being 5 or 6 years old and not even being able to run for the school bus. I was tired my whole life. Because I was in the midst of such a warm wonderful family (sarcasm, dammit) I was constantly told I was "just lazy." I grew up thinking everyone felt like me, shitty and tired, but they pulled themselves out of it--and I didn't because I was SO lazy. When our appalling eating habits also made me fat, and that fat was then exacerbated by nearly a decade in the fast food industry--my body, and my credit were both pretty much ruined by the time I was 25. Yeah, there's more to that...but I digress.

It wasn't until I met H, and introduced a steady stream of love and support (and okay, income--not a lot of money, but I wasn't at risk of homelessness anymore) into life that it got any better. Having health insurance was a fucking godsend. Finally finding a doctor who didn't dismiss my rampant night terrors and hallucinations as "probably from smoking marijuana" (or saying it's brain damage and then not doing anything about it) and got me a damn sleep study. Turns out, I was damn near insane from lack of sleep, as I stopped breathing at least 80 times an hour.

I have the kind of apena that is hereditary. I've always had it, as has much of my family. Losing 200 pounds wouldn't make it go away. Even if it did, I'll probably need a good night's sleep before that happens. I've lost a bunch of weight since I got the CPAP, just because I'm awake and have energy.

Anyway, H's work used to offer 3 tiers of insurance: basic, medium, and fancy-pants. We couldn't afford the fancy-pants, but needed more than the basic.
They used to offer 3 plans: employee, employee plus spouse, and family.
We have no kids, so our choice was obvious.
FF to last year. They cancelled the medium plan, and canceled employee plus spouse. I worried that we'd have to cancel cable/internet/and one of our phones, which I didn't like, just to keep the insurance. I need the internet and cable to work. Turns out, that still wouldn't have been enough scrimping. We'd have needed to find a cheaper apartment, which would have meant an even worse neighborhood and MUCH farther for H to commute. Remember, we don't drive.

So...
We have basic insurance and are paying for a whole family even though there are only two of us. I learned today that since the insurance changed in January, they've been charging me over $100 a month to rent the CPAP. So now I have a bill for almost $700 that I can't remotely pay. AND since I won't be able to pay any further bills, I have to give the fucking thing back.

And to be perfectly honest, it's making me cry like a little kid.
Pretty sure my mom was in the room the last time I felt this helpless...

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