I got tagged on FB to do the 10 Books that Impacted Me Profoundly meme. FB isn't really a good platform to compose lists, so I'm doing it here. I'm restricting this to fiction because non-fic would take FAR too long and could never be narrowed to ten.
In no particular order and presented without commentary:

1. To Take a Dare by Paul Zindel

2. The Cat Ate My Gymsuit by Paula Danzinger

3. Carrie by Stephen King

4. Skeleton Crew and Night Shift by Stephen King
(these go together since they're both anthos, and I obsessed over both around the same time.)

5. My Ishmael by Daniel Quinn

6. American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis

7. Psycho by Robert Bloch

8. The Bachman Books by Richard Bachman
(these include Rage, The Long Walk, The Running Man, and Road Work)

9. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

10. The Girl Next Door by Jack Ketchum

Honorable mention to Skipp & Spector's Book of the Dead anthos, all of Milk & Cheese, Coraline, and anything at all by Roald Dahl.

While I have your attention, I'm looking for someone who might want to write a monthly mag article about horror in television. It will be a nice addition to our regular lit, movie, and game reviews. It's not a paying gig, but I promise I'm swell to work with, and I bet some of you would love to add "magazine feature writer" to your resume. Right? :-)

Actually, people told me this after "A Stabbing for Sadie" first came out. I had no idea Salinger's books had terrible editing. Bahahahahahahaaa!

Which I stole from my intellectual hero, flemco

1. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
I'd actually like to stay here in Ann Arbor, but live much better than I do.

2. Your biggest weakness?
Let's just say self-indulgence, and leave it there.

3. What is your favourite tv show?
The Simpsons. Colbert Report.

4. Name one thing you think you will never be able to do?
Be a mom.

5. Name a book that had a profound impact on your life view?
My Ishmael by Daniel Quinn. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood.
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis. the first 20 years of Stephen King.

6. What was the last thing you bought?
Sweet and sour shrimp, and egg drop soup with wonton.

7. Where would you like to go on a first date?
Meh, don't care. It's all about the people.

8. Have you ever had to act in self defense?
Ha! Yes, plenty of times.

9. What is your least favorite number?
6.9, because it's not THAT goddamn funny.

10. Do you collect anything quirky?
Cartoon and horror memorabilia, movies, various and sundry fandom items
One might argue that everything I collect is quirky.

11. Do you have any family heirlooms?
If a Grandpa's Basement bar sign counts, then yes. Yes, I do.

If you have not already done so, do take a look at the Ten fictional characters YOU want on your offensive zombie team!!

Okay, so I'm not great with the images. I'm a writer, not a graphic designer. Only some kind of freaky supergenius would be good at both things. That reminds me, next up on my reading list is a book about Bi-polar illness and the creative mind. It's written by the same chick who wrote "The Unquiet Mind."
I'm stoked.

So...plenty of stuff has been happening in the world. I'm at work, so you're not getting links, but all manner of crazy crap has been afoot. All those mysterious shark attacks in Egypt? Caused by sheep traders chumming the waters there regularly, then abruptly stopping. This, of course, makes for lots of hungry sharks expecting food and finding only tourists. Doesn't take Ron and Valerie Taylor to tell you that's gonna be trouble. Now, those poor whitetips are being killed, most recently by some drunken jackass doing a cannonball.

Disappearing Honeybees? This one has been going on only slightly less time than we've been hearing the omnipresent threat of killer bees coming soon to a schoolbus near you. Culprit? The EPA approved some pesticide that is harmful when ingested or touched. Not sure where the big mystery is, but guess what? Poison kills things. I no, rite? [sic}

DADT is dying a sputtering, Tim-Roth-in-Resevoir-Dogs-style death. You'd think people would be embarrassed to bray on and on that gays will make the military a terrible/unstable place. First of all, if you care so goddamn much about the military, how's about getting them proper equipment and medical care? And also, bigots said the same shit about the introduction of racial minorities AND women into the military. Guess what? We still have a military and their feats of bravery still manage to move me to tears on a regular basis. As much as I complain about my job, I'm pretty sure there won't be anyone shooting at me. Sheesh! All this gay-bashing nonsense truly amounts to God=good, gays=icky which is a matter of personal (and ridiculous) opinion, not a basis on which to pass laws. For fuck's sake, why are we even still talking about this?!?

Still have a bit of baking to do for the holidays. Everything will get shipped out tomorrow night or Weds morning via FedEx because we get a discount. H's birthday is today, and I'm giving him some cool gifts. Tomorrow I'm making him another mexican lasagne and marzipan cake. H's favorite cake in the whole world is my extra-rich marzipan butter cake.

1. Beer: Meh, no thanks.
2. McDonalds: Delicious, comes with toy.
3. Relationships: Mine are all pretty awesome.
4. Colour: Pink or Blue
5. Power Rangers: Ew.
6. Weed: I'd love some, thanks!
7. Steroids: Yep, for my sinuses
8. Cartoons: Simpsons, Looney Toons, Seth MacFarland
9. The President: I love you, Barack! Don't let the haters hate on you.
10. Tupperware: Yes, but no parties
11. Florida: The ground is covered with shells.
12. Santa: Gimme Gimme Gimme!
13. Halloween: It's the moooost wonderful tiiiime of the yeeeeeear!
14. Alice: in Chains: Meh
15. Grammar: I'm not immune to the odd mistake
16: Myspace: Not lately, no.
17. Clowns: Only if Gacy painted it.
18. Marriage: Mine? It rocks. I see a lot of shitty ones though.
19. Paris: She's a bimbo.
20. Thor: He's aight
21. Redheads: Renee and Jay
22: Blondes: Meh
23. Pass the: Pipe, Bogartor!
24. One night stands: Not lately, but fine back in the day.
25. Donald Trump: Braying jackass
26. Neverland: I'm not one for the growing up.
27. Pixie sticks: Like drinking sugar.
28. Vanilla ice cream: Paul Newman's Own
29. Public Busses: No, thanks/
30. High school musical: Ugh
31. Pajamas: Underpants and T-shirt
32. Woody: The porn award? Okay.
33. Wet Socks: Goddamit!
34. Zombie Movies: Rock my World
35. Love: H
36. River: Huron

It's the "Five Songs Meme" where you get a letter and post your five fave songs that start with that letter. Because it's 2010, YouTube should have all of those songs. locakitty gave me the letter L:

There are lots of versions of this song (originally by The Cure). This one is by Voltaire, whom I adore:


I liked this song a lot when it first came out. The little boy in it grew up to play Jackie Aprille Jr on The Sopranos:


When I was in college, I started my classic rock radio show with this song routinely:


Lonely Island is hilarious. If you don't think so, you are wrong. Sorry.


If you know anything about me at all, you'll know that Rob Zombie is my hero:

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Me, young: That chick from the new Hairspray, and Huge.
Me, old: Kathy Najimy

H: Laurence Fishburn, duh

Pentelope: a Liger

Joey JoJo Junior Shabadoo: a swath of destruction

Ryan: Harrison Ford

Mark (my brother): Adrien Brody

Mom: Piper Laurie

Fascinating, no?


Just scored an exercise bike for $100. It's being dropped off on Sunday. Didn't even occur to me to ask if it had a weight limit. As some of you know, lots of exercise equipment is not designed for fat people. Not just Wii fit, but other things too. That is smart, because everybody knows that NO fat people exercise--EVER. And if they didn't want to spend $2,000 on exercise equipment that will accommodate their fatness, they shouldn't have gotten fat in the first place. That said, I hope this works out for me, and is not too hurty to my back and legs. EDIT: This did NOT work out for me. Weight limit: 250 llbs. I'd been wanting to get one for awhile but have had far too many expenses lately. In general, marketing a book is expensive. Podcasting is turning out to be expensive too, which leads me to my next announcement:

Our podcast schedule for new episodes is changing. It will now be every other week, instead of every week. Even though our eps are pretty short, it takes a long time to edit and mix them properly. Couple that with my actors also having lives and jobs and families and such, this seems much more reasonable for me. Plus you know, I am also working on what will become the greatest zombie novel since Serpent and the Rainbow. Yeah.

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For the love of God, HELP ME!!
I've been held in a fortune cookie factory for over 30 years.
Your lucky number is 420


I'm not going to finish the JulNoWriMo.
There, I said it.
I've never lost a monthly WriMo before, so it's new to me.
I have decided though, that I'm going to write 50K, I'm just stretching it out to two months. That way, I'll stay motivated and writing but not stress myself out or flake on things that are important. Like today, I have to record the vocal for tomorrows podcast, and cook a big rigatoni for me and H.
Speaking of Take a Stab at This! I've had lots of traffic. Not much in the way of feedback, but a lot of people are looking at it. A couple hundred every day, so that is good news. Sent my lead actor a refurbished iPod which he should be getting today. Might make my life easier to send him the new Zoom H1 recorder my work will be carrying soon. Maybe I'll be able to afford it soon. I still have to buy some copies of my books to have on hand, get new glasses, and then it'll totally be time to work on my Halloween costume, then Christmas and every jackass I know has a birthday in either November or December--the jerks!

Our organic food delivery is coming tomorrow. We're getting spinach (Stop. Omlette Time!) and chard, two pounds of red grapes, and some other stuff. Not exactly sure who is growing grapes in Michigan, though I guess there are wineries here. St Julian's has been around forever. I used to love their sparkling juices as a kid. I ordered a bottle of dressing to go with the great lettuces, tomatoes, and cukes we are getting. I've never been so excited for a salad in my life!

Finished season one of Dexter. Even though I guessed who the bad guy was almost immediately, I thought it was a very well written show. Jennifer Carpenter annoys the hell out of me, but whatever. I'm stoked to get going on season two, and bummed that there's a season 4 spoiler on the cover of the CD set. Thanks, Showtime. You're still not HBO, so just get over yourself already. I do love how so many networks have figured out that people will watch shows if you bother to make them good--and that plenty of people really do know the difference between Art and Product.

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We Built This City (on Rock and Roll)

By Starship



I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to earn say, half a million dollars or more listening to it for an extended period. If I can do Customer Service professionally for X an hour, I can certainly tolerate godawful music for at least 24 hours.

Of course, once it was over I might actually have to murder Grace Slick.
I'm sure a lot of people would be bummed. NOT.

That meme where you ask people to ask you questions is going around again. Anyone who follows me on Facebook knows I can't get enough of the questions. groovesinorbit asked me the following:

1. How do feel about Voltaire now that you've seen him?

He is a fine performer. I enjoyed his show very much.

You know how when you love someone's work, you do this mental thing where you want to like them personally even know you don't actually know them? Yeah, well that is a recipe for huge let-down. Such was the case here. I'm a big fan of the work, but my Epic Squeee for Voltaire is rapidly waning. Just as well, as H was becoming progressively more annoyed with the whole thing.

2. Vampire Ball, would you go again? Do you think other events like this would be good to get your name out?

Well, the Vampire Ball was not really specific enough for me. My books are not about Vampires. The one vampire short story I wrote (specifically for absinthofheart) she did not like very much. Not enough undead sex, I imagine. ;-]
I'm having considerable difficulty getting my name out. I shouldn't be, as my name is very memorable. I really need to get to podcasting and giving more stuff away for free.
But yes, I do plan to go again provided I'll be able to see Voltaire.

3. If you're not in the mood for horror films, what films do you like to watch the most?

I tend to watch reruns of Sunday Night Fox cartoons and South Park. I also enjoy classics, and comedies that have good scripts. Zoolander, Anchorman, and anything by Tim Burton are my staples.

4. How goes the poem writing?

Slow. I'm having trouble escaping the feeling that poetry is for the overtly self-indulgent. I have rebooted the challenge and started again, hoping to finish around Feb 10th, just in time for ny new book to come out. Details are, of course, at wednes_writes

5. What first got you interested in serial killers?

When I was a kid, there was a guy called the Oakland County Child Killer. Not the most original name for a serial killer, but it scared the crap out of us 70's kids. My mom was FRANTIC about the guy, and when I volunteered to go door-to-door for three blocks to deliver the school newsletter, my mom insisted on following me in the car.
She later told me during one of her many psychotic episodes that my biological father was one of the suspects and that maybe I was just like him. Like many of her rantings, that stuck with me for a long time, and I used to worry that I would become a killer and there'd be nothing I could do about it. So far though, she is off target.

--end meme

Because I'm not doing the NaNoWriMo this year, I feel compelled to link you all to flemco's insightful observations on this annual event. He is a tad more vitriolic and passionate than I am about it. But the basic ideas cover most of what bugs me about the NaNo, and why I have bascially avoided the forums for forever. Here it is. And if you're grossly offended by it, please bring that to me, not to him. It's a pretty old post, but still relevant. Enjoy!