Been making some new Userpics, like this one.

[wednes]

Just getting back to work after a self-imposed 3-day weekend. One of my co-workers was kind enough to take my Friday shift so I could get some sleep and decompress. My body is going through something major right now, now sure what. Feels like I've changed my meds but I actually haven't. Not sure what's up with that, but I'll spare you the girly TMI and the borderline psychotic shit.

Decided that I'll be resurrecting my Zombie story (pun intended) from 1995 and combine it with a kickass idea I got from absolutely_lee. Then, I'll throw in my (comparatively) newfound ability to write compelling first-person narration. And wrap it all up with an ending that will make your grandmother blush. I'll keep you's posted.

Been playing a lot of this Happy Aquarium game on the Facebook. It's delightful.


I've been thinking lately about how some of the best people I know have such difficulty in finding a suitable partner. It's led me to think about the difference between popularity with your gender of choice, and compatibility with that one special person.
My close friends all tend to be pretty remarkable people. (Most of you should take this personally, because this time I AM talking about YOU) They are talented, introspective, have strong opinions on social issues and the lively arts, literature etc. They create things, they value interpersonal relationships, they strive to be clear communicators. They are witty and charming, and looking to form a mutually respectful and loving relationship based on honesty and genuine affection. Isn't that what most people want? You know what? I don't think it is.

People get married for a lot of dumb reasons: pressure from partner or family, pregnancy, wanting to escape a bad situation, need for money or insurance, or just because they think it's what you're supposed to do. With that in mind, it's no wonder the "traditional marriage" divorce rate is so damn high. People know full-well that it's not going to work. Marrying someone in the hope that they'll change is a sure-fire recipe for a divorce.
I know people who honestly base their relationship on some kind of tit-for-tat arrangement. You do X for me, and I'll do Y for you. There is little, if any, sense of just doing something for the other person because you value their happiness. It makes me sad. Obviously, people who put themselves first in every situation (unless they're making a showy display of how UNselfish they are) make shitty partners. For some reason though, nurturing people are drawn to them.
I also know plenty of people who married jerk-ass losers because they honestly didn't think anyone else would marry them. I almost did that myself--twice, before I met H. I'd be surprised if either of those marriages would have ended in anything less than homicide.

I think the reason my friends have such a tough time finding the right partner is because they are truly looking for a life-partner. They won't tolerate someone with no respect for their feelings--rather than making excuses for them and hoping they'll change. They will be bored and/or annoyed when people have no understanding or interest in anything they love. They may say they aren't looking for much in a partner. Money is not a big deal for them, they are flexible on physicality, education, family of origin and even physical or mental health. But what they want the affection, admiration and respect that they deserve--which is much more difficult to find than say, a hottie or a cool car.


And finally, Sunday Night FOX was all new last night. For the first time, I made a mental note of the fact that after 8:30, I gasped in shock about as often as I LOL'd. Filth! As Marge Simpson would say FOX turned into a hardcore pornography channel so gradually, I hardly noticed.

Comments

[sarahmichigan.livejournal.com]

Sorry to be off-topic, but the Bohemian is in print, and in piles around local coffee shops and such. I saw a pile at Temptations, for instance, over the weekend.

I know you don't drive, so I'll try to snag a few extra copies in case you can't track one down yourself.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Oh, right on!

Did you post at ann_arbor_ypsi?

[maxverbosity.livejournal.com]

Being married and with two kids, it helps that both my wife and I are accomplished performers in our own right and have a deep interest in the arts and literature. Hopefully, we can pass it on to Astrid and MacLaren.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Let's hope so. Now that I think of it, I'd be interested on the stats as far as nature vs nurture when it comes to a passion for the arts. My parents thought PBS was for old people (except Sesame Street) and my only access to classical music was from either Loony Toons or Fantasia. But then I was a theatre major. I wanted to be all over the arts, and it wasn't remotely encouraged.

I know other kids who had that kind of stuff forced on them and now they hate it. You seem far too sensible and thoughtful for that kind of thing, though. :-]

[lickingtoad.livejournal.com]

My Dad's a scientist, so we watched a Hell of a lot of 'Nova' on PBS while I was growing up. Still love it.

[opaqueplanet.livejournal.com]

I don't have much to say, other than that your posts always make me happy. You're awesome.

Love,
Cassandra

[wednes.livejournal.com]

*blush* I'm totally making with the smiles right now.

[lickingtoad.livejournal.com]

Every time the doc asks about 'healthy role models/relationships' I suppress the urge to LOL. I know way, *way* too many people who married on account of 'knocked up' or 'hey, two incomes! I won't starve!'

None of that matters in the least, I say, and we well know it.

I still get a hearty laugh out of anyone parading the 'sanctity of traditional marriage' when it fails 50% of the time.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I was just telling someone over to Ryan's Facebook that "traditional" marriage is a partnership between two men. The woman is the property being sold, not an active partner in the marriage.