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I guess we can be grateful that she's not fat in heaven.
You may recall that I went through a considerable amount of stress before my wedding. Even though I had resigned myself to being a fat bride, I had some sort of issue with being a visibly, enormously fat bride--which I guess had something to do with the fact that I'd be seeing people I hadn't seen in years. I was also paying someone (albiet a good friend) to take as many pictures of me as humanly possible. In short, I freaked out. I even lost an Lj friend over my freaking out about my appearance solely as it related to size. Even bearing all that in mind, I am just disgusted and saddened by this.
This woman was so ashamed and embarassed to be a "fat bride" that she literally killed herself trying to lose wieght. Worst still, she was under a doctor's care. A doctor who assured her that being fat is always bad and unhealthy and anything you need to do to be less fat is always worth it. Yes, of course. That's why all thin people are happy and healthy; and absolutely no fat people are. Yay! So instead of getting married (what? you mean someone loved her even though she was fat?!? madness!) she gets to be dead. And the doctor who told her to starve to death so she could be thin gets to keep right on telling people that there's nothing more important than "looking healthy" even if you're about to keel over.
Obviously, I can't sit here and say that I have no issues about my weight or size. Not only could I stand to do a LOT more exercise (not to lose wieght so much, but to feel better and have more energy), but I can be remarkably sensitive about wieght related comments. If you read the linked article, the dead girl's brother says something like I always told her she was fat, I had no idea it affected her so much. Right. being mocked by your own family never affects anyone negatively. That's why serial killers are all so tight with their parents and siblings. Oh wait...
As you know, I'll be going to a Vampire Ball next month to meet Voltaire. I adore Voltaire. He seems like a cool guy in RL. Still, I am confident that I will spontaneously combust into a pillar of tears if he made some sort of comment or evil look about getting his picture taken with a fat girl. Seriously, I'd run out of there crying like a 12-year old girl at her first school dance; even though I'm a happily married woman who is almost 40. Solution? The "No Fat Chicks" shirt. I announce my awareness of my fatness (ever have some stranger tell you you're fat, as if perhaps you'd been previously unaware? mortifying), implying that I'm very comfortable with it. It's also witty, and I do enjoy being witty. Let's just hope that the attractiveness of my wit outwieghs (pun?) the purported hideousness of my terrible, terrible fat.
This woman was so ashamed and embarassed to be a "fat bride" that she literally killed herself trying to lose wieght. Worst still, she was under a doctor's care. A doctor who assured her that being fat is always bad and unhealthy and anything you need to do to be less fat is always worth it. Yes, of course. That's why all thin people are happy and healthy; and absolutely no fat people are. Yay! So instead of getting married (what? you mean someone loved her even though she was fat?!? madness!) she gets to be dead. And the doctor who told her to starve to death so she could be thin gets to keep right on telling people that there's nothing more important than "looking healthy" even if you're about to keel over.
Obviously, I can't sit here and say that I have no issues about my weight or size. Not only could I stand to do a LOT more exercise (not to lose wieght so much, but to feel better and have more energy), but I can be remarkably sensitive about wieght related comments. If you read the linked article, the dead girl's brother says something like I always told her she was fat, I had no idea it affected her so much. Right. being mocked by your own family never affects anyone negatively. That's why serial killers are all so tight with their parents and siblings. Oh wait...
As you know, I'll be going to a Vampire Ball next month to meet Voltaire. I adore Voltaire. He seems like a cool guy in RL. Still, I am confident that I will spontaneously combust into a pillar of tears if he made some sort of comment or evil look about getting his picture taken with a fat girl. Seriously, I'd run out of there crying like a 12-year old girl at her first school dance; even though I'm a happily married woman who is almost 40. Solution? The "No Fat Chicks" shirt. I announce my awareness of my fatness (ever have some stranger tell you you're fat, as if perhaps you'd been previously unaware? mortifying), implying that I'm very comfortable with it. It's also witty, and I do enjoy being witty. Let's just hope that the attractiveness of my wit outwieghs (pun?) the purported hideousness of my terrible, terrible fat.
no subject
I've been saddened before that I lost friends on LJ over what I thought could have been resolved through a "let's agree to disagree" agreement, but for some people disagreeing about some issues is a deal breaker for them. I have to admit this annoys me. People say stuff I don't agree with or necessarily like. So fucking what?
In any case, I'm horrified by this story too. That actress Mary Frann had a fatal heart attack some years ago, apparently because she was overdoing the exercise and diet pills to lose weight for her wedding, which just made me sick. You have to keep in mind to try to do everything in moderation. Nothing extreme seems to ever turn out good.
However, realistically we're always going to want to look the best we can. Even if we intellectually tell ourselves that a certain aspect of our appearance shouldn't bother us, if it does, then it does. Just accepting that seems to be a healthier mentally rather than stomping your foot like your LJ friend apparently did and saying, "We shouldn't feel this way because we shouldn't feel this way!"
no subject
Personally, I think people say fat=ugly because that's what they've been conditioned to say. People have preferences, which is fine. But there's this idea that if looking at someone doesn't make you want to fuck them, that they are less valuable than people you find more attractive physically. That's just dumb. My husband happens to think I'm super cute. But even if he didn't, that wouldn't make me "ugly" per se.
There aren't any absolutes, and when we justify treating fat people like criminals by saying things like "well, they shouldn't be fat anyway, it's not healthy" we're essentially using bogus science as an excuse to treat people badly. Someone actually said to me once, "if you dont' like it, you should lose wieght." Right. And if you don't like being fag-bashed, maybe you should turn straight. Ah well...