![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
A Slightly Spoilery Letter to my Hero:
Dear Rob Zombie,
I just paid a hefty sum of money (including cabs) to see your new film. As always, I had a swell time picking out the various cameos and marveling at the fact that Clint Howard manages to get so much work. Kudos to you for giving Micky Dolenz what must have been his first acting job since The Brady Bunch Movie. I enjoyed the casting very much, even though using your wife yet again makes me wonder if you've perhaps caught what I like to call Tim Burton's disease. Your wife may not be the best actress for every damn movie you make. Then again, Sherri was most convincing as a white trash stripper who can't effectively protect her kids from the scumbag she married. And I gotta admit, she's pretty.
You did add some interesting dynamics to the story. I can honestly say I enjoyed the new material and the extra violence. Every killing was brutal and horrible and covered with thick gooey blood. Nice. Malcolm McDowell is fine, but not as creepy as he could have been. And that's just sad. The guy playing The Shape was fucking terrifying. He must have been seven feet tall, which you would totally need to be to put the smackdown on guys like Danny Trejo and Ken Foree. He was damn impressive, violence wise.
The problem? Not an ounce of suspense. Not anywhere. Every time someone was alone, you knew they were gonna get it, and they did. I think we all understand by now that drinking and screwing are the surest path to getting horribly murdered. That's why I never make out in abandoned houses, cemetaries, or creamatoreums. Besides the overall Ew factor, I mean. Your movie, Rob, had all the same problems as Land of the Dead. No suspense, no shocking moments (except maybe a little when Dee Wallace and her hubby get it) and an ending that was tired and expected. For me, this movie is like a child's macaroni picture. It means a lot to me because you made it. But I don't mind telling you that I expected a whole lot more.
Much Love,
wednes
I just paid a hefty sum of money (including cabs) to see your new film. As always, I had a swell time picking out the various cameos and marveling at the fact that Clint Howard manages to get so much work. Kudos to you for giving Micky Dolenz what must have been his first acting job since The Brady Bunch Movie. I enjoyed the casting very much, even though using your wife yet again makes me wonder if you've perhaps caught what I like to call Tim Burton's disease. Your wife may not be the best actress for every damn movie you make. Then again, Sherri was most convincing as a white trash stripper who can't effectively protect her kids from the scumbag she married. And I gotta admit, she's pretty.
You did add some interesting dynamics to the story. I can honestly say I enjoyed the new material and the extra violence. Every killing was brutal and horrible and covered with thick gooey blood. Nice. Malcolm McDowell is fine, but not as creepy as he could have been. And that's just sad. The guy playing The Shape was fucking terrifying. He must have been seven feet tall, which you would totally need to be to put the smackdown on guys like Danny Trejo and Ken Foree. He was damn impressive, violence wise.
The problem? Not an ounce of suspense. Not anywhere. Every time someone was alone, you knew they were gonna get it, and they did. I think we all understand by now that drinking and screwing are the surest path to getting horribly murdered. That's why I never make out in abandoned houses, cemetaries, or creamatoreums. Besides the overall Ew factor, I mean. Your movie, Rob, had all the same problems as Land of the Dead. No suspense, no shocking moments (except maybe a little when Dee Wallace and her hubby get it) and an ending that was tired and expected. For me, this movie is like a child's macaroni picture. It means a lot to me because you made it. But I don't mind telling you that I expected a whole lot more.
Much Love,
wednes
no subject
It's not my ind of picture in any case, but dang!
no subject
I adore Rob Zombie, he just missed the mark this time around.
no subject
no subject
no subject
Though in the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit I have not seen the new movie, nor do I have any interest. Not because I don't like Rob Zombie, or because I don't like Halloween, just that I feel like I've already SEEN it because.. I HAVE. I WOULD like to see Devils Rejects however beacause as far as I know that IS an original work. Or better still, why donesn't he make a ZOMBIE movie? Or would that just be TOO clever?
no subject
John Carpenter produced this remake, so he is as much to blame as Rob. I'd love to see Rob do a zombie movie. Maybe I should finish my screenplay already and send it to him.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject