Hunger Hurts, But Starvin's Worse...

[wednes]

Day 2 of no smoking weed is upon me. No one has asked or suggested that I do this. It just seems odd to quit taking meds and to continue smoking heavily if my real goal is to try and get well in my head. So i'm trying to take things slow and see how I feel. I also hate that my house is a mess and no one really seems bothered by it but me. I mean, we haven't had a clean fork in the silveware drawer for over a week.

I'm concerned at how annoyed I am at things these days. It is the MANIC side of bi-polar that seems to cause me the most damage. I spend money i don't have, am quick to anger, and I make rash descisions based on my ever changing mood. This doens't mean i think I should be medicated, but I do think I need to figure out ways to deal with mania so it doens't fuck up my life too much.
Like right now, I feel like some people are inconsiderate assholes. Not sure if its part of my attention craving manifesto...like maybe I'm just pissed that they don't care that something is bothering me. And I'm also not a fan of people who give advice (unsolicited at that) without having any idea what in fuck's name they are talking about. I hope I am never the type to affect a superior demeanor when I advise people on subjects I know nothing of. But I'm sure I am, at least sometimes.

At any rate, I'm seeing the therapist today for real...weird sleep patterns kept me from it yesterday. I'm also going to try to make a grattan for H and I for din, and I think I'll try to watch Whale Rider, or perhaps see Taking Sides at work.

Comments

[madush69.livejournal.com]

All ya can hope for is to do your best. If anyone can do it you can. I have faith in you.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Why thanks man.

if you wanted to drive me to my appt at 11am, i wouldn't say no. Call me.

[madush69.livejournal.com]

Hopefully I'll be done with work by then. Sounds like a good idea...I'll call ya when I'm done with work.

[pleasing-tint.livejournal.com]

Good luck, man.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Gracias!

[tallulahmae.livejournal.com]

Dear Wednes:
I kinda feel exactly like you seem to feel right now. So you are not alone in your angst. Or whatever this is. I hope you start to feel better. My friend keeps telling me to stay super hydrated, so I'm gonna start chugging water. In general, this seems like overall good advice. Did you like Whalerider? It was interesting for me, but not as compelling as I'd anticipated.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

haven't watched it yet.

but your drinking lots of water idea is a good one. We started carrying Evian at my work again, so I've been availing myself of it.

thank you for your kind words and suggestions, nice to know I'm not alone in my nuttiness.

[missmisty.livejournal.com]

Good Luck to You...I also quit smoking 2 days ago. It hasn't been as hard as I thought it would, but then, I used it as an escape from my family and now they're gone, so that should make it easier.

Yeah, the drinking more water suggestion is a good one. I need to get a big water bottle to keep at my desk, the little water-cooler cups aren't doin' it.

Keep it up, you sound like your headed in a new and good direction.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and its about freakin' time. i'm just trying to be less self-destructive so i can have a beter life.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and its about freakin' time. i'm just trying to be less self-destructive so i can have a beter life.

[juju21.livejournal.com]

Good luck chica! If you ever need to bitch, i'm right here for ya

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Good to know! thanks.

[princezna.livejournal.com]

Girl, I can seriously relate to you.

♥

If you ever want to talk online or on the phone... or perhaps in a couple weeks when I go home to MI let me know.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Right on.

although i must tell you that i smoked down tonight, after a very productive and exhausting day.