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Hunger Hurts, But Starvin's Worse...
Day 2 of no smoking weed is upon me. No one has asked or suggested that I do this. It just seems odd to quit taking meds and to continue smoking heavily if my real goal is to try and get well in my head. So i'm trying to take things slow and see how I feel. I also hate that my house is a mess and no one really seems bothered by it but me. I mean, we haven't had a clean fork in the silveware drawer for over a week.
I'm concerned at how annoyed I am at things these days. It is the MANIC side of bi-polar that seems to cause me the most damage. I spend money i don't have, am quick to anger, and I make rash descisions based on my ever changing mood. This doens't mean i think I should be medicated, but I do think I need to figure out ways to deal with mania so it doens't fuck up my life too much.
Like right now, I feel like some people are inconsiderate assholes. Not sure if its part of my attention craving manifesto...like maybe I'm just pissed that they don't care that something is bothering me. And I'm also not a fan of people who give advice (unsolicited at that) without having any idea what in fuck's name they are talking about. I hope I am never the type to affect a superior demeanor when I advise people on subjects I know nothing of. But I'm sure I am, at least sometimes.
At any rate, I'm seeing the therapist today for real...weird sleep patterns kept me from it yesterday. I'm also going to try to make a grattan for H and I for din, and I think I'll try to watch Whale Rider, or perhaps see Taking Sides at work.
I'm concerned at how annoyed I am at things these days. It is the MANIC side of bi-polar that seems to cause me the most damage. I spend money i don't have, am quick to anger, and I make rash descisions based on my ever changing mood. This doens't mean i think I should be medicated, but I do think I need to figure out ways to deal with mania so it doens't fuck up my life too much.
Like right now, I feel like some people are inconsiderate assholes. Not sure if its part of my attention craving manifesto...like maybe I'm just pissed that they don't care that something is bothering me. And I'm also not a fan of people who give advice (unsolicited at that) without having any idea what in fuck's name they are talking about. I hope I am never the type to affect a superior demeanor when I advise people on subjects I know nothing of. But I'm sure I am, at least sometimes.
At any rate, I'm seeing the therapist today for real...weird sleep patterns kept me from it yesterday. I'm also going to try to make a grattan for H and I for din, and I think I'll try to watch Whale Rider, or perhaps see Taking Sides at work.