An Open Letter to Email advertisers:

[wednes]

I have NO interest in the following:

--increasing my size naturally

--meeting singles in my area

--low-rate mortgages

--great limited time deals on famous brand name electronics

--barely legal girls (be they asian, sluts, college girls, or waitin' for my call)

--ephedra-free miracle pills

--buying land on the moon

Thank you for your time.

Comments

[a-lad-inane.livejournal.com]

According to the spam I receive, the two most practiced sex acts in America are incest and bestiality.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm...incest....

Oh sorry, that was in response to something else.

STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!!

[princezna.livejournal.com]

Amen to that sista!

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

You know, I used to know a guy named Lee, whose internet name is Absolutely Lee.

He's crazy though, he also lives in California.

[princezna.livejournal.com]

Oh I was just taking it from the Bob Dylan song. I should post the lyrics to it.

[madush69.livejournal.com]

Do they have Asian sluts on the moon? If so, have they increased their size naturally??

[nate101000.livejournal.com]

That's where I have to disagree. I am always looking for barely legal singles in my area of the moon who have increased their size naturally with ephedra-free miracle pills who have low-rate mortgages on brand name electronics.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Well, how do you feel about Email forwards? I'm sure I can make that happen for you.

[nate101000.livejournal.com]

If you get an email specifically advertising barely legal singles in my area of the moon who have increased their size naturally with ephedra-free miracle pills who have low-rate mortgages on brand name electronics, then send it to me.

[ex-jenniepan481.livejournal.com]

I always get the penis enlargement ones..I dont have a penis!

[madush69.livejournal.com]

I get breast enlargement ads. I have man-breasts and they're way too damn big for my gender. They need to advertize male breast reduction techniques.

[ex-jenniepan481.livejournal.com]

Oh man boobs aint so bad...more to hold on too! Of course I am bi and just love boobs of all kinds..LOL!

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Well, mines in a drawer in the nightstand. But I bought the size I wanted...doesn't everyone do that?

Re: Ahem...

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Okay, if anything arrives for me in a plain brown wrapper, just leave it outside my bedroom door...

Re: Ahem...

[nate101000.livejournal.com]

What was the deleted post

Re: Ahem...

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Actually, it was an accidental duplicate. But for future reference, anything I delete, I do not want discussed again. that's the only reason I'd delete something.

Ahem...

[uterdic.livejournal.com]

Don't you ever say that in my presence again.

[ex-jenniepan481.livejournal.com]

Hell ya! Mine is a giant chili pepper!

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Awesome.

Ever go to www.goodvibes.com ?

They rule!

[ex-jenniepan481.livejournal.com]

No, but I think I shall!