![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
So angry I'm almost out of hollow point bullets!
Sorry kids, but I have to post at length about the dad who puts 5 hollow point bullets into his kid's laptop after she had the nerve to complain about her parents on the internet. Oh, the humanity, that a 15-year-old girl should rant about chores and not getting an allowance.
I hear a lot of people applauding this asshole. I really don't get it. I know that some people LOVE to blame the victim--but how are any of you okay with a parent using a .45 to get their point across? If it was her boyfriend shooting up her shit--nobody would tell her she deserves it. Well, maybe Newt or Santorum, but nobody sane. I'm hearing a lot of blather about how kids today have no respect and how they'd do the same thing if it was "there kid." [sic] Are we really asserting that kids learn to be more respectful after watching a parent shoot up their shit?
I'd like to take a moment to explain a few things to a few people who think this kind of behavior is acceptable in a parent. I'm presuming that if you think this shit is kosher, that you were never abused by your parents. Or perhaps you were abused but are still deluding yourself into thinking that your PTSD and inability to connect emotionally with another person is "just one of those things" and that all those beatings you took along with the constant shaming and belittling was "no big deal" or "something all parents do." Note: many parents actually give a shit whether or not their kid has any self esteem, and actually put their child's comfort before their own--even when they're upset.
A parent who flies into a rage over nothing is TERRIFYING. It's like living with a fucking time bomb in your house. In my experience, sometimes that time bomb ticks loudly when it wants you to do something...letting you know that it has the power to completely disassemble you in seconds, and that nobody will be able to do anything about it. Sometimes that time bomb sits there dormant, daring you to live your life as if it isn't there. And other times, it pouts to you that it doesn't understand why your afraid of it...just before it blows up everything in its wake.
Yes, obviously I have issues with this sort of thing. As a kid who grew up in a constant state of fear, I'm a little edgy about people cheering while a dad is terrorizing his kid. I'm not suggesting that there be no follow up after a sweary rant is found on the internet. But if you watch the dad in the vid, it's not difficult to see where she learned how to write swear filled rants.
Here's the thing. There's a difference between punishment and revenge. I know a lot of Americans don't understand this, and that's why they support the death penalty. You kill them, we kill you may work for some adults--not me, but some. But the Do as I say, not as I do school of parenting was laughed out of town decades ago. This girl is obviously modeling the behavior she sees at home. Let's hope that when she grows up, she stops short of plugging a few rounds into whatever (Dad) thing is making her angry. But if she doesn't...apparently the internets largely think a .45 is a great way to solve family problems. And hell, maybe in Redneckistan, it is. But I would hope civilized people would know better--or at least that you don't show respect for something by putting a few bullets into it. Punishment is supposed to illustrate why the behavior is wrong, and provide incentive not to repeat the behavior. This dad copied the behavior and then expanded it, and then destroyed an expensive piece of equipment for no real reason. I suppose she'll be grounded for not doing the homework that was on the computer next...
The only lesson to be learned here is "My Dad is an asshole."
It's no secret that people who use violence to get their point across do so because they're control freaks who are shitty with words. That might explain why people on FB support this "father".
"How can u say he shul loose his daugter for that. peepel can punsish there kids how they want" [sic times infinity]. If this asshat was actually trying to teach a lesson, he might have say, given the laptop to charity, a school, a needy family, sold it, etc. But no...he destroyed it with his great big gun, then explained that his daughter was then going to pay for all the repairs he made to it. This, of course, smacks of the Why do you make me do it school of domestic violence. Right up there with the old maybe there'd be less rapes if so many women didn't dress like sluts. Victims are not responsible for the shit their attackers do. Nor are children responsible for the actions of their parents. Kids are supposed to do stupid shit. Parents are supposed to act like goddamn adults.
The mini rant about how his daughter's friends will learn that complaining on the internet is not okay? Please. That would be hilariously misinformed, except that it's punctuated by gun violence so it's no longer funny.
If the girl is fifteen, she only has to tolerate that asshattery for a little while longer. Most abusive parents don't seem to realize that there will come a day when the kid is grown up, and no longer has to accept abuse. Those of you who know me know that I've not spoken to my own mother since 1995. Last I heard, she was telling people it was because of money or something--and not because eventually, the dog you keep kicking will refuse to come back for more kicking.
That aside, isn't that rather an appalling example of irresponsible gun ownership? I thought the whole point of gun safety was to teach that guns are not toys. Sounds like SOMEbody needs to learn that lesson. Tell me...is it possible to shoot a gun with another gun?
I hear a lot of people applauding this asshole. I really don't get it. I know that some people LOVE to blame the victim--but how are any of you okay with a parent using a .45 to get their point across? If it was her boyfriend shooting up her shit--nobody would tell her she deserves it. Well, maybe Newt or Santorum, but nobody sane. I'm hearing a lot of blather about how kids today have no respect and how they'd do the same thing if it was "there kid." [sic] Are we really asserting that kids learn to be more respectful after watching a parent shoot up their shit?
I'd like to take a moment to explain a few things to a few people who think this kind of behavior is acceptable in a parent. I'm presuming that if you think this shit is kosher, that you were never abused by your parents. Or perhaps you were abused but are still deluding yourself into thinking that your PTSD and inability to connect emotionally with another person is "just one of those things" and that all those beatings you took along with the constant shaming and belittling was "no big deal" or "something all parents do." Note: many parents actually give a shit whether or not their kid has any self esteem, and actually put their child's comfort before their own--even when they're upset.
A parent who flies into a rage over nothing is TERRIFYING. It's like living with a fucking time bomb in your house. In my experience, sometimes that time bomb ticks loudly when it wants you to do something...letting you know that it has the power to completely disassemble you in seconds, and that nobody will be able to do anything about it. Sometimes that time bomb sits there dormant, daring you to live your life as if it isn't there. And other times, it pouts to you that it doesn't understand why your afraid of it...just before it blows up everything in its wake.
Yes, obviously I have issues with this sort of thing. As a kid who grew up in a constant state of fear, I'm a little edgy about people cheering while a dad is terrorizing his kid. I'm not suggesting that there be no follow up after a sweary rant is found on the internet. But if you watch the dad in the vid, it's not difficult to see where she learned how to write swear filled rants.
Here's the thing. There's a difference between punishment and revenge. I know a lot of Americans don't understand this, and that's why they support the death penalty. You kill them, we kill you may work for some adults--not me, but some. But the Do as I say, not as I do school of parenting was laughed out of town decades ago. This girl is obviously modeling the behavior she sees at home. Let's hope that when she grows up, she stops short of plugging a few rounds into whatever (Dad) thing is making her angry. But if she doesn't...apparently the internets largely think a .45 is a great way to solve family problems. And hell, maybe in Redneckistan, it is. But I would hope civilized people would know better--or at least that you don't show respect for something by putting a few bullets into it. Punishment is supposed to illustrate why the behavior is wrong, and provide incentive not to repeat the behavior. This dad copied the behavior and then expanded it, and then destroyed an expensive piece of equipment for no real reason. I suppose she'll be grounded for not doing the homework that was on the computer next...
The only lesson to be learned here is "My Dad is an asshole."
It's no secret that people who use violence to get their point across do so because they're control freaks who are shitty with words. That might explain why people on FB support this "father".
"How can u say he shul loose his daugter for that. peepel can punsish there kids how they want" [sic times infinity]. If this asshat was actually trying to teach a lesson, he might have say, given the laptop to charity, a school, a needy family, sold it, etc. But no...he destroyed it with his great big gun, then explained that his daughter was then going to pay for all the repairs he made to it. This, of course, smacks of the Why do you make me do it school of domestic violence. Right up there with the old maybe there'd be less rapes if so many women didn't dress like sluts. Victims are not responsible for the shit their attackers do. Nor are children responsible for the actions of their parents. Kids are supposed to do stupid shit. Parents are supposed to act like goddamn adults.
The mini rant about how his daughter's friends will learn that complaining on the internet is not okay? Please. That would be hilariously misinformed, except that it's punctuated by gun violence so it's no longer funny.
If the girl is fifteen, she only has to tolerate that asshattery for a little while longer. Most abusive parents don't seem to realize that there will come a day when the kid is grown up, and no longer has to accept abuse. Those of you who know me know that I've not spoken to my own mother since 1995. Last I heard, she was telling people it was because of money or something--and not because eventually, the dog you keep kicking will refuse to come back for more kicking.
That aside, isn't that rather an appalling example of irresponsible gun ownership? I thought the whole point of gun safety was to teach that guns are not toys. Sounds like SOMEbody needs to learn that lesson. Tell me...is it possible to shoot a gun with another gun?
no subject
no subject
no subject
(Damn, that line pisses me off.)
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
I'm not going to make a vociferous defense of the guy - I don't think what he did was a good way of getting his point across. However, as the survivor of an EXTREMELY abusive household and family growing up, I'd hardly put this on par with, well, anything I suffered, really.
He didn't backhand her across the face hard enough to break her nose.
He didn't beat her about the face and head whilst screaming that she was a stupid fucking whore.
He didn't smash any dishes on her head or body.
He didn't literally use a horsewhip on her.
Tell me, would you be as upset if he'd run over the laptop with a truck?
Part of the clamoring I see for people wanting his head is based on the concept that using a gun on something else = HORRIFIC VIOLENCE. As you well know, I am an avid shooter, and a parent as well. I wouldn't shoot my daughter's laptop with a .45 for the reasons he did - a couple blasts of 12 gauge 00 buck would have been more dramatic, hurr hurr - but I don't see what he did as any more HORRIBLE AND VIOLENT than if he'd tossed the laptop in an industrial wood chipper, or just split the damn thing in half with an axe.
I will go out on a limb and say: if you equate posting a video of shooting your daughter's laptop to extreme child abuse... I can't agree. At all. I don't think what this guy did was smart, but I also don't think it was as awful as people are making it out to be.
Could be a Texas thing, I dunno...
no subject
That said, what I see on that vid is a whiny bitch of a man who was embarrassed about his kid saying typical shit that all kids say. I see him flying off the handle, and pretending he's teaching her a lesson when he's actually trying to assuage his own embarrassment and get even with her. He's pulling rank, and destroying her property in a way that no one would ever accept coming from anyone but a parent.
But here's the thing. A parent is supposed to be coming from a place of wanting to instruct, inform, discipline, and set an example. He does none of these things. He escalates, mimics, grandstands, all the while pretending that he's the victim. I grow very weary of abusers pretending they are victims be they parents, the whiny christians, or Newt Gingrich. This guy is an assole, far outdoing all the things he's pissed at his kid for doing. It's a heap of very publicly displayed hypocrisy, and the number of parents cheering this guy makes me sick to my stomach.
That said, my own abusive experiences as a kid included a similar component to this. My beloved mater would tell a lot of half-truths and outright lies to convince everyone that, for example, I was a huge slut and the only way to get through to me was with a belt. Neighbors believed it to the point where even after the cops were called, they left me there.
Having your shit broken in front of you is indeed abusive. It's the same premise that makes our own military burn the Q'ran in front of soldiers. This is a kid who already feels pretty powerless, living with petty, vindictive parents--and then they break what is probably the most expensive thing she owns to get back at her for saying bad words and complaining on the internet? I remember that powerlessness, and I didn't stop feeling it daily for decades after living with exactly that kind of jackass.
So yeah, while I'm pretty offended at this asshat, I'm much more offended by how many internet blowhards are cheering for him.
no subject
And this is where I learned, a long time ago, if I start to get really pissed at the actions of another human being, I need to ask if I'm assuming things about them, or projecting my own issues onto them.
I see him flying off the handle, and pretending he's teaching her a lesson when he's actually trying to assuage his own embarrassment and get even with her.
Again, this is not a defense. I disagree with the whole concept of the video, mostly because I think it was childish. That said, you and I have no idea what the actual home life situation here is like. We don't know the guy, we don't know the girl. I will state that I have known teenagers who literally got up to so much shit, shooting their laptop would have been seen as far, far too weak of sauce. Again, I don't know what the daughter has done in the past. I don't know what the father has done in the past. And in the end, who gives a shit?
My own life has proven one thing to me: If the daughter is the one being a horrible monster here, she will likely wise up one day. And if the dad is being a horrible monster, he will likely find that his adult daughter no longer wants to have anything to do with him.
Justice served.
no subject
I like to think I'm basing my opinion on just what I see in the vid. I freely admit though, that bullshit parenting is a hot button issue for me mainly because--well, I assume you know why already. You read my first book.