Poverty, I don't care for it.

[wednes]

Splurged on a haircut since I hadn't had a real one in almost a year. Tried a new salon. I did a lot of research to try to find a place I'd feel comfortable at. Truthfully though, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the whole salon thing. While I do like to have a grown-up haircut, I don't like to be surrounded by people who think fashion high end frou frou crap is important. This salon was nice, but odd. For the shampoo, I had to lie all the way back on a massage-type table. It felt kinda...full body participation for a shampoo. The chick was great, really young and excited that I was going so short. It's damn short, but I'm at work so I can't put up a pic. There's one on Facebook though that I put up last night. Anyway, $45 later, I have nice hair that I actually have to use product on.

Found out that the monthly payment on a Smart Car is less than I'm paying in cabs to get back and forth to work. I think I've had enough EMDR that I might be able to handle a bit of city driving so long as I'm going someplace where I know the area. I dunno though. It's scary, but we have to figure out a way to save money. Our ONLY regular splurge is the cable, and if we cut that and only keep the internet, it only saves us about $50 a month.

This morning, H let me know that our insurance is changing. They are getting rid of the plan for married couples with no kids. So we have to pay for a whole family. Plus, they are eliminating our tier, so we can either pay $250+ more every month for a slightly smaller deductable, or just take the plan for catastrophes and pay more for absolutely everything. At first, I was pissed. When I realized that $250+ a month was the money we were putting aside for a house, I just started sobbing. We both work. We both have degrees. H has been with his company for 15 years and has called off less than 5 times. They're still screwing him. My work offers insurance, but to get a decent rate, they actually make people go to Weight Watchers if they are fat. They pay for the fees, but I'd have to find a way there and back, since you can't do it online--nevermind the fact that it's none of my work's fucking business how much I weigh or how I got that way. I'm sick to death of trying hard and doing my best, and still getting smacked the fuck down. And I don't even want to complain about it because it makes H feel terrible.

Waiting for the call for the CPAP. Apparently my apnea is life threatening--so bad I could potentially go on disability for it--you know, if they still had that in my state. The thinking is that we can buy the machine and all the stuff we need and it should be under $1,000. That's provided the insurance covers it--I'm told BCBS is dicking people around about it, so I won't know for sure until they call me. I've been told they may not cover a purchase, just a rental of the machine. This means after the insurance changes, they may not cover it at all. Not entirely sure why we're giving them thousands of dollars a year so we can be completely at their mercy.

Um...Obama...I always stand up for you.
How about you stand up for us?
I know the GOP guys are scary and baffling in their hatred of the people who vote for them, but c'mon. I'd really like to be able to retire someday...and you know, not die.

Comments

[groovesinorbit]

Insurance companies are just disgusting, as we've both said before. Our insurance keeps going up every year, and my COLA (when I get one) doesn't always cover it. Although, we never had an option for a couple/no kids tier. That would have been nice. I'm sorry you're losing it. And to lose your house-saving cushion just ain't right. Grr.

And that it's more than likely that BCBS will screw you over on the CPAP machine. They'd rather pay for you to rent a machine? How fucked up is that?

[wednes]

Yes, because the rental machines monitor compliance...so if I don't use it enough, they can take it away. I have a friend who lost hers because her mask was broken and in the time it took them to pay for a new one, she was deemed non-compliant and they took her machine.

[groovesinorbit]

Fuckin' A! That's just evil!

[opaqueplanet]

I can't put into words how upset I am about all of this. I am so sorry. I wish your politicians weren't so scared of single-payer health care.
___

I think the smart car is a good idea. You don't really realize how much money having a car saves you until you've lived both ways back to back (like when I rolled my car in February and was taking the bus). Aside from cab/bus fares, there's the fact that you can actually grocery shop in bulk when you have a way to get 10 bags home (a deep freeze is invaluable here, too).

[wednes]

Thank you. I'm sure it will feel less awful when I'm done freaking out about it. It's just that I have to do my complaining online where my husband won't see. The last time a money thing made me cry, he said "I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you more, you deserve so much..." blah blah blah, it was awful. The very idea that H would feel bad about money is horrible, just because he's such a good, kind man with a strong work ethic. It's not right that hard working people keep getting screwed so badly and the people who could actually help are too busy blaming people for not having the good sense to be rich.

[opaqueplanet]

I totally understand. When I freak out, Buck freaks out, and then I spend more emotional energy trying to calm "us" down than was strictly necessary had I just been given some room to freak a little. Because we bipolar girls just have to freak out a little now and then to help keep us level. You know, open our emotional pressure valve.

[wednes]

Indeed.
H has done a wonderful job of being understanding of my freak outs, and learning not to internalize them--which is huge. The last thing I want is to feel guilty for the freakout I so desperately need.

Thanks, man. Your kind words are appreciated.