Suspense: Not the only thing killing me.

[wednes]

The doc called me at work today to give me the results of the biopsy. I did not recognize the number, so I did not pick up. The message said that what I have is referred to as Atypical Nevi which is fancy doctor talk for moles. The forehead splotch is, happily, harmless as far as they know. They sprayed it with liquid nitrogen, so it's supposed to be in the process of removing itself from my face. We shall see.
The one in particular on my back, they said, is cause for concern. It is not a melanoma, but because I have it, I'm at considerably greater risk for developing melanoma. I also have fair skin, freckles, have had sun poisoning, and come from a long line of cancerous peoples. Plus, my mom has skin cancer too.

So...they want me to use SPF 30 every day on my face, neck and um...decolletage. Because my hands and arms are freckly, they said using it there would also be a good idea. It sounds expensive and high maintenance to me; but compared to what most people with cancer goes through, it's no big whoop. Really, this feels like another in a long line of vague diagnoses summed up as You seem fine for the moment, but that could change at any time. My heart is a ticking time bomb; my brain could go soft at any moment; I could also become too depressed or psychotic to function; and now my integumentary system is threatening to devour me from the outside in. But you know...don't worry about it, they say.

The only sensible thing to do here is to pick up some sunblock and go back to the business of writing disturbing fiction. Off I go, then.

Comments

[groovesinorbit]

You might want to do a little research into the sunscreen you'll be using. There've been some troubling articles in the news in the last year or so about them. Like this one.

Not sure what to recommend. I only use sunscreen now if I'm going to be outside all day. But I don't burn all that easily.

[wednes]

Yikes--well, that's unnerving.

[groovesinorbit]

It is! I was a little freaked out when I heard about it the first time.

[diachrony]

I often get around the sunscreen issue by wearing long sleeves & lightweight gloves when I'm outside, and a lightweight mineral powder with SPF 15 on my face/neck, with a sun-protective floppy hat.

[wednes]

All good suggestions!
I didn't realize that my need for sunscreen was so great, I avoid the sun whenever possible. Shows what I know.

[opaqueplanet]

My grandpa has Actinic Keratosis. It's a sun-related pre-cancer. He was on a topical chemotherapy for it, which is described here: http://www.sannerud.com/people/efudex/ (that's not my grandpa). So sunscreen is certainly a better choice.

I have to admit I don't use sunscreen unless I'm actually going to be outside for an hour or more (and that's only happened once this summer). I use a pashmina as a sort of shawl/veil/dupatta to keep all of my exposed bits covered, and never turn more than a light chai colour.

[wednes]

Thanks for the info. The sunscreen is a minor inconvenience considering the alternatives. :-/ Looks like I'm going to have to pony up the dough for some good stuff. This Aveeno I bought on the cheap is totally making me break out. Said it was non comedogenic too, lying bastards!

I do need to get some fashionable cover ups before snow starts falling. My buddy sent me a kickass head scarf from Afghanistan but I don't know anything about its pattern, or whether it would be bad for an infidel like me to go around wearing it casually.

[opaqueplanet]

I've never had anyone take offense or look at me unkindly for wearing a dupatta (and I do have Muslim friends and relatives). Modesty is not a virtue any one group has a trademark on.