Now that's odd...

[wednes]

I know intellectually that when talking about skin-cancer, that there is a 98% chance that it is no big whoop. Nothing to get upset about. It's not gonna kill me--which means it can only make me stronger, or more scarred up. I decided that when they do cut this ugly splotch off my head, that it will leave a big scar, that I will then have tattoo'd to look like a Harry Potter scar. People will then mock me on the Internets, equating me with Twilight fans who get Edward tats across their entire back. And I will hate them--because I dig the hell out of Harry Potter mythos, but I'm not really into fucking any of the characters. C'mon...I'm a grown woman.

My point is that I have a solid plan in place for dealing with this. I'm reasonably certain it's cancer. It's been changing size, shape, and color. Plus, my mom just had the same thing happen--which leads me to suspect it might be psyche meds that are causing it since she and I became cancerous at roughly the same time even though my mom is 20 years older than I. I started taking meds in my 20's, and she in her late 40's. But that is mainly guesswork and conjecture.

Even though I have a plan, a ride, and insurance--for some reason I am absolutely petrified of going to this appointment tomorrow. I want to cancel it and just not go. I don't want them looking at me, I don't want to get sliced up, and I don't want to have to tell people in my life that I have cancer. Cancer, like witchcraft, or drugs--scares people needlessly.

I have a long and glorious history of freaking out over things that later turn out to be nothing. Of course I am hoping this is one of those times. But I honestly can't recall being this frightened--at least not since the last time I had legal trouble, 15 or so years ago.

So...you know...Yipes!


On a completely unrelated topic, H and I have been married 3 years as of today.
Funny, since we started living together in 1999.

Comments

[groovesinorbit]

This is one of those times, I'm sure. Cancer's a frightening thing, though. It's no wonder you're worried and nervous. But you're going to be fine. Good luck tomorrow!

And happy anniversary! I know what you mean. R&I have only been married 2 years, and we've been together since 1986. Jiminy, it's going to be 25 years this New Year's. Yikes!

[wednes]

Whoa, 25 years?!? I honestly have not had any one person in my life for 25 whole years--not even my mom. So that's neat.

[groovesinorbit]

I'm rather shocked, myself. Lisa and I had been friends that long before things exploded, but I can't think of anyone else I've known consistently for that long. Definitely neat. : )

[tangent_woman]

I had two basal cell carcinomas removed about eight years ago; one in the hair on my temple, one between the corner of my eye and my nose. I have a square patch shaped scar about 10 millimetres square at the corner of my eye which is pretty visible if I am not wearing my glasses. They were not terribly dangerous, I was relieved to learn. They were only going to slowly enlarge in a non-life-threatening way.

I'm not too self conscious about the scar, but if asked, I spin a yarn about it being from an archery accident or some evil scientific experiment gone wrong. Then I tell them that it was really skin cancer and remind of the benefits of sunscreen. I'm not 100% certain that these were caused by sun damage, but they are in places sunscreen does not usually cover, and I don't think it hurts to use my experience to promote health awareness.

[tangent_woman]

Oh and I forgot to say: good luck. I hope your experience turns out to be as boring as mine was.

[wednes]

Hehee, thanks!

[wednes]

Right on!

I hadn't considered that it could be sun related, seeing as how the sun is already my mortal enemy.