wednes | Did I mention? I went someplace last night.

The Tale of the Vampire Ball, by Wednes
(this will be a poem, but not right this minute)

I went with my friend Sara, who works at a different department at my work. She is a great gal who has recently made the leap from work-friend, to friend. She was wonderfully fun and supportive through the whole event. I felt bad later that she wanted to dance and I didn't really want to. I was kind of freaking out the whole night, and had a nice little panic attack on the way in. It passed quickly.

We got off to a late start due to a combination of game traffic, makeup mishaps, and general chicanery. Arrived in Flint (AKA the land where EVERY downtown street is one-way) about 15 minutes before doors opened instead of 45 minutes like I planned. Turns out, being late was no big whoop.

Met up with my contact and set up the table. There was no table cloth even though I asked about one beforehand. So I wish I'd brought a one. I had a cool sign, a bunch of tassled bookmarks, and a bunch of books:

Mostly, people walked by and intentionally avoided eye contact. Perhaps they thought if they looked at me, they'd have to give me money. I probably could have guessed this, but the Vampire population in Flint is not really into books. A few people came over to read my sign, at which point I informed them that signed books only appreciate in value. No dice. I only sold one book the whole night.

I wasn't sure if Voltaire would be out and about or if he'd be hanging out backstage or something. When the Head Vampire came out to greet his guests, Sara and I peeked our heads in to avail ourselves of the cheesy spectacle. Voltaire was standing right inside the main doors, working at his own merch table. I swear I almost passed out. He looked amazing. I asked Sara to take my camera and get a pic, and she came back with this:

OMG!! Sara was totally gushing about how nice he was and how he took the pic himself. I was freaking the fuck out. I was all "I'm gonna give him a book" and I signed one with a very shaky hand that I think said To Voltaire, with profound admiration and then I signed what I'm pretty sure was my name. I got the camera ready and went inside, book in hand.

"Hi," I said. "I was wondering if I could get a picture."
He said sure, and came around the table and put his arm around me. *Epic Squee* After he took the pic, I told him I wanted to give him a book ans is that okay? I got the distinct feeling that it was NOT okay. I said that since he was on tour, he was probably looking for things to read. I thought of that 2 weeks ago. For some reason, he told me he didn't really read. I mumbled something about how my goal as a writer was for people whose work I love to enjoy my work as well. I felt like a total tool, but he kept the book anyway. I shook his hand and told him how very happy I was to meet him. He really does his best to display genuine affection for his fans. He's quite a performer, so you know...

He took this pic himself.

An hour later, I realized that I forgot to put a bookmark in the book I gave Voltaire.
D'oh.

Then, for the next three hours, we people watched. The crowd was decidedly Ungroundable (it's a South Park reference). I could have told you which online stores certain people got their dresses. Everyone under 60 had some version of my same nylon vamp fangs. The people watching was superb. Honestly. I was hoping to see a Nosferatu, but I didn't. There was an Eddie Munster--complete with Wolfman Doll, who was easily 6 feet tall 340 lbs. Nice. Inexplicably, there was one Princess Leia, one Elvis, and one Super Mario. There were many Draculas in varying degrees of hilarity. Two blaculas, and one guy who looked so much like LaFayette it made me double-take. Sara wondered if he was supposed to be LaFayette or if that was an accident. I said that if that's what he looks like normally, he should sue HBO. Ha! Basically we spent from 7:30 till 11pm telling variations of the "Hey, *person* called; they want their *whatever* back!"

We got the standard caskety photo op, but we only got a paper copy and I haven't scanned it yet. Here is me with the Head Vampire. If only I'd thought to stake this guy, all the other Flinters might have turned back into their barely legal, trailer parkish selves.

He was very nice, BTW.

Around 9pm, the girl I was supposed to be sharing the table with showed up. While I was in the bathroom, (I brought a giant bottle of Evian) she started pushing my stuff around and telling Sara she needed to pack it up. I came out and was like "Oh here, let me make you some room." She informed me that it was her turn since I'd been out here all night. I repeated, "Let me make you some room," then I scooted my stuff over so it only took up half the table and sat back down. I had intended to share my sparkle pens with her, but she was kinda standoffish so I didn't bother. Ultimately, we each sold one book. Me, Sadie, and her, some 50 page novella with a romance pic on the cover.

I was also sort of annoyed that they left me out of the program and off the sign. Frown. Anyway, The chick left after an hour and I didn't sell another book all night. My contact, Ilona, was really nice. I didn't get to talk to her much because she was super busy. She is going to send me some info so I can hook myself up with one of the badass centerpieces. Vampire wine bottles with lights inside. Neat.

At 11pm we packed it in and took a short decompression and smoke break in her truck. Then, back inside to get souveniers. I spent $20 at the Voltaire table getting a signed CD and a second Deady keychain dealie so now I have one I can take out of the packaging. *Nerd Alert* He signed a copy of The Devil's Bris (the debut album) for me. "Hi Honey, what can I get you." Even his customer service skills are good! *sigh* They had Voltaire keys there but I didn't get one, because I have one coming that was purchsed by

sudrin at DragonCon. Yeeeee!

I also bought some Nag Champa and a silver flask in the shape of a coffin that is about 5 inches tall. I wanted something that screams "Vampire Ball" and was cool and affordable ($10). So, good call. Sara got a little makeup bag with some sweet artwork on it.

Then, Hellblinki played their set. They fucking wailed, which was a fun surprise. Then...Voltaire. Honestly, his entrance on stage was a tad anit-climactic after having talked to him twice already. Set was funny and high-energy and hot as fuck. Picture him all red and grainy...oh wait, you don't have to:

This camera, it seems, works about as well as the film camera I got for Christmas in 1986. Someone offered to loan me a good one, but I didn't want to risk dropping it or breaking it in case the crowd got rowdy or something. Usually, you have to push your way to anyplace where good pics can be had. This crowd was very chill and nice. Few people were even drunk and out of hand. Ultimately, it was an amazingly fun night.
Voltaire didn't play any Vampire songs. To my delight, he played 3 Zombie songs: Brains, Day of the Dead, and Zombie Prostitute. Awesome. His set was kind of short, but amazing. Like I said, he's a super badass performer. His pants were really, super tight, which is not something I typically notice on a fellow. In case you were curious, Voltaire dresses to the right.

So yeah, that's the broad strokes of it. My Tio's is here, so I shall close. And just so I've said it, I'm hearby coining the phrase *EPIC SQUEEE*

I don't really do bar nights anymore. Maybe three times since I met H in '99. But this was way far fun. Thanks to H for the tickets. I won a door prize of a Vampire Romance novel, a zillion assorted bookmarks, and a button that says "Strangely Beautiful" which is going on my hoodie. yay!

Okay, one more:

Did I mention? I went someplace last night.

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