This is why Jesus thinks you're an asshole:

[wednes]

We all know that the bible has a well-known liberal bias. It's one of the only ways in which the bible is like reality. *snerk* Thank heavens that the good people at Conservapedia are finally rewriting the bible to reflect American Christian Values.

No, sadly I am not kidding.

The Conservative Bible Project is taking all the hippie socialism and love your neighbor crap out of the bible and replacing is with "concise" language instead of all that liberal wordiness.

The bible is not even MY book, though I do own a nice Gideon and a King James from the early 70's. I have to say though, that it's difficult to put into words just how offensive I find this. Obviously, the bible has been translated many, many times and is already pretty far from the "original" text. Even if we could agree on who wrote what, when, and with what information, we'd still be pretty far away from the "truth."
But for heaven's sake, rewriting it with a specific political agenda in mind is...well, do I even have to point out how completely fucked up that is?



On a completely unrelated topic, I can't find my copy of Grimm's Grimmest Fairy Tales. So if I loaned it to you, I'm gonna need it back. It's nowhere to be found in my apartment.

Comments

[boblovesdot.livejournal.com]

and they claim liberals push the "activists" agenda?

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I don't know if it's worse that they're doing it, or that they're telling people about it as if it's a positive thing.

[uterdic.livejournal.com]

Had I coffee I my mouth, I would have done a spit take after reading this.

[uterdic.livejournal.com]

also, I think it's a good time to learn how to modify wikis, as we can have a lot of fun here.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

All you have to do is log in. You'll prolly get banned pretty quickly. Luckily, I have four working Email addresses right now (I just counted them for a FB meme).

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I kinda want to make sure Jon Stewart knows about this.

[peteralway.livejournal.com]

Jesus H. McGillicutty Christ the Third on a rubber crutch and his all girl kazoo band!

Seems like they'd be satisfied with all the creationist stuff in it.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

LOL, see I figured they'd go back through and add dinosaurs to genesis so it would look like God made them.

And god did create the Velociraptor that it may evolveth into a bird.

[squee1973.livejournal.com]

and exactly who was it that thought this would not only be a good, but also an,acceptable thing?

I'm thinking they are do for a good old-fashioned Smiting.

A friend just asked if she could borrow my copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales, including my Grimm's Grimmest..I'm afraid to loan it to her after reading your post! Although, in this case I'll know where it will be, and where she works/lives, should it not be returned in a reasonable amount of time! ;}

[wednes.livejournal.com]

That's my problem. I didn't realize it was missing until recently, and have no idea who I lent it to or how long ago that was.

My bad. Frown.

[maxverbosity.livejournal.com]

I want an opportunity to rewrite the Bible now too, but just so I can find places to put things like "buttinsky", "Yankee fan", "Schweppervescence", "hanging chad", etc....

[wednes.livejournal.com]

LOL

[anathon.livejournal.com]

I'm no theologian so correct me if I am wrong but doesn't the bible say something about bad things happening of you add to it or take away from it?

Maybe they will continue the trend of rewriting to include other works of fiction like the lord of the rings and all those vampire books Ann Rice wrote.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

You are correct. It is way far verboten to willingly make changes in the bible. Don't worry, I'm sure they'll take that part out.

I imagine they'll take all the Anne Rice and replace it with Ayn Rand. Close enough!

[swayworn.livejournal.com]

That's chain letters, silly!

[opaqueplanet.livejournal.com]

KJV is conservative enough, thank you. NIV all the way!

I thought all those crazy sumbitches thought that the KJV was the holy of holies, and the direct word of god as it was meant to be (the original greek, latin, and hebrew texts just being imperfect first drafts). Aren't they messing with perfection?

[wednes.livejournal.com]

You'd think so, but no. ;-]

[maxverbosity.livejournal.com]

Besides, the "direct word of god" is more likely to be the Code Of Federal Regulations.

"And the lord said, 'Pursuant to section 502(c)(ii),....'"

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Good one!