My Weekend

[wednes]

My weekend was pretty busy and full of productivity and fun.

Friday night I worked on my serial killer novel, which I am starting to really love. Such a compelling character...
Satruday I went to work, then hung out with K and N. We were going to try to fix K's computer, but she forgot to bring it.

Sunday after grocery shopping I wrote and posted a new short story. You can find it, unlocked, at wednes_writes. If you aren't a member over there, and you like my work, you should totally join and check it out. I hadn't posted in a long while over there, but I think I'll be keeping up with it better now.

Today I got an Email from yet another long lost Aunt. This one is not technically an "aunt" as she is the cousin of my mother. But she's damn cool, and pleased as pie to be in touch with me. People are starting to ask why I left and "what happened." I don't really know what to tell them without sounding like a pissed off teenager. The enormity of why I left is not sum-uppable in a few short sentences. Input?

Today I am at work, short shifts today and tomorrow which gives me tons of time to hang out with H. He promised to read my new story even though most of my work is too dark for him and he doesn't read it. Can you imagine that? H never reads my work...

Comments

[everythingtold.livejournal.com]

What does H read? If I had to look at him and stereotype him, I'd just think he was an intellectual who read everything - or else the type that read stuff that needed analyzed. this is because i've looked at him less than 10 times since i've known you. this is related totiming and just so you know, this keyboard hates me.

erm . . . I guess if someone asks what happened, you could tell them, "WEll, things were 'reallybad' at home and I'm not going into details, but you could just maybe trust me on that one." I don't know if that person is argumentative or not. Maybe if they read your stuff, you could say that whatever happened is actually used in your stories? To an extent? I have no clue what I'm talking about but I feel like I'm at least 10 % right.

Man. My cmputer hates me and my brain isnt' working. I dont' know what the deal is!

[wednes.livejournal.com]

H reads a lot of sci fi, nonfiction, and role playing stuff. I think reading my work upsets him because it's always so dark and twisted.

Yeah, the family stuff is tougher. I suppose it's not a lie to say it's not anyone's business. It isn't. But they seem to want an explanation as to why I've been gone for so long. It's not that I don't think they deserve to know, but there's no way to explain it without making my mom look like a total bitch. Really, she's just mentally ill.

[groovesinorbit]

Have you told H the story about how Carrie would have never been published if not for King's wife pulling it out of the trash? He's got a responsibility here. ; )

Hard to say what to tell the folks asking why you left. The "things got really bad at home" line ought to work. Or tell them how much you feel comfortable with. And if your mom comes off badly, well, it's not your job to protect her, is it? People will make up their own minds.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Well, my H is no Tabitha King, that's for sure. ;-]

The family stuff is tricky. I don't want to come off sounding like a petulant child. I also don't really want to badmouth my mom...she's a sick person and needs mental help, not my ire. I mean, all she would have to do is apologize and own up to what she did--I'd forgive her if she did that. She won't though...

[groovesinorbit]

*grin* Mr. King makes her sound pretty darned cool. Kinda how you make H sound.

Family stuff is always tricky. It's a shame your mom won't get help or apologize. Keeping it vague is probably the best bet.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Luckily I'm a writer, and can be very vague if the situation warrants. :-]

[groovesinorbit]

*grin* It's true.

[hellamama.livejournal.com]

Geneen Roth writes a lot about growing up in an abusive home. In one of her books, her mother's new husband (she and her mother are reconciled) asks her not to publish something because it isn't flattering to her mother. But it is the truth. And she is all about telling the truth.

And she publishes it, along with the conversation with the mother's husband, because she is, in sense, honoring her mother by telling the truth.

That doesn't mean it is anybody's business or that you have to tell them. But I agree with groovesinorbit that you don't have to protect her, as long as you are telling truths.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much how I felt when I wrote the book in the first place. Everything about my mother was true, except that she's still alive. I mean, it's my life and I can tell it if I want to, right?

But there's a certain anonymity there, because most people don't know it's really my life. In real life, it's way more personal to tell people "well gee, your cousin/sister/aunt used to beat the shit out of me, and now I have brain damage so that's why I'm angry." Even if that were the whole truth, it would be difficult to tell people. But there's more, much more.

"I don't want to rehash specifics but the bottom line was that..."

[klynnfrost.livejournal.com]

"...we got to a point in our relationship where it was causing us more harm than good."
"...there was a lot of damage in our relationship, but by moving away I was able to begin moving on."
"...at the time it seemed like the only manageable option."
"...I regret that it got to that point, but hindsight is always 20/20"
or
"Believe it or not I'm still working on that one...."
"It means a lot to me that you're interested in what happened, but I'm honestly still trying to work some of it out."
"There was a lot of hurt, but I'm working hard to come to terms with everything. Maybe it will be easier for me to talk about later, but right now I'm mostly just excited to be getting back in touch with you."

A tip I've heard that's been helpful to me in the past is to approach it from a "learning" stand point and avoid anything that could be construed as blame. If there's ever a possibility that you will talk to her again I wouldn't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't be willing to say to her face. Try as much as possible to find truths that would apply to both of you, not matter how vague they are, any common ground is a start.

Re: "I don't want to rehash specifics but the bottom line was that..."

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Thanks man. I really appreciate all the insight.

How are you, BTW? Busy, I imagine.
I'm having a party the last Saturday in August, Honore will be here.

Re: "I don't want to rehash specifics but the bottom line was that..."

[klynnfrost.livejournal.com]

I'm sure there are better things to say - but I thought it might get the juices flowing.

I'm alright. Haven't been too busy this summer, it comes and goes in waves. Thanks for the party invite - I've penned it in and will check with D. I should be able to make it, but if not I'd still like to see you sometime....

Re: "I don't want to rehash specifics but the bottom line was that..."

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I am usually off on Wednesday's and on the weekends.
Give me a call if you get some free time. :-]

[itches]

'Input?'

1) It's not worth getting into.

If they continue

2) It was a while ago, I just want to move on.

If they still continue

3) It's complicated and painful and I'm not going to get into it.

If they still continue the next stage involves an axe.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Fair enough...

Thanks!

Off topic....

[eroslane.livejournal.com]

http://www.geekologie.com/2008/06/02/geek-gang-signs.jpg

Re: Off topic....

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Hilarious.

Re: Off topic....

[eroslane.livejournal.com]

I had lunch with one of the guys at the Apple Store today.

I flashed him the Apple gang sign and explained it all to him.

I'm sure we looked retarded flashing all this nonsense!

Re: Off topic....

[wednes.livejournal.com]

At least it wasn't a "terrorist fist jab."

Re: Off topic....

[eroslane.livejournal.com]

....or 'The Shocker'! *bwahahahaha*