Exasperated to the point of madness

[wednes]

I'm off work all week this week, and it's starting out very annoyingly. H simply will not cooperate with my plan to go grocery shopping at a time when the store will not be crowded. He wants to wait until 4pm or so, which would also make me late to meet klynnfrost whom despite being one of my favorite people, I have not seen in forever. I simply loathe being around crowds. Even if I can finally keep myself from having a full blown panic attack, I'd just rather not be around big groups of people in the first place. That's why we see movies on Tuesdays. But enough about that.

Been working on my serial killer novel. It's pretty good in some parts, but needs a ton of editing. Probably about a third of it will be cut completely, with a large reworking of another third.

My big project for the week will be working on publicity for A Stabbing for Sadie. If you know of any place(s) I should be advertising, do let me know. I have about 2 dozen online markets I'm pursuing to try to get reviews or set up interviews. I'm going to try for signings at about five different places, and have about a dozen local and Detroit area markets I'm going to pitch to. Hopefully some of that will work out. I have one interview lined up for May (thanks, kissdbyagnome ). My publisher is sending galleys to Midwest Book Review and Library Journal. That should help considerably.

H and I were talking about the people I hang out with, some of whom exasperate me to the point of madness. He doesn't understand why I'd hang out with anyone who does that. I was thinking about how sometimes, I am drawn to people who aren't particularly good friends because they're just so fucked up that I'm dying to figure out what their deal is. I've only realized this recently, and now I'm trying to figure out what to do about it, if anything.
I don't want to get a million responses saying "Is this me?" because it's not really anyone I hang out with on a regular basis. But I had one so-called friend who I argued with constantly and grew to outright dislike, but I would still see him every month or so for a long time. Like sometimes you meet someone through work or whatever and you hang out, but then realize that the person is actually really selfish or crazy or whatever, yet you keep hanging out with them? It's weird. Am I alone in this? Is it wrong to unconsciously feign friendship with people because you find them interesting? I mean, there's all kinds of reasons to spend time with someone, right? I dunno...

Comments

[sudrin.livejournal.com]

Interestingly enough, I know someone like that (Nobody on LJ though). This person tends to be very selfish and self centered and a particularly bad friend, but for some reason I find myself almost fascinated by them. I feel I am an extraordinary friend to them, but when they ask me how *I* am, its always just so that they can get it over with and talk about how THEY are. Yet, even knowing that, and knowing I should tell them to go fuck themselves, I don't. So I can completley understand. Its almost like I feel like I learn something from them, and that's what makes it worth it for me.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear I'm not alone in this. It's an odd phenomenon, these awesome people who tolerate, and even invite undeserving subjects into their lives.

[hellamama.livejournal.com]

I tend to get sucked into those relationships too. Don't know why or how to change it. I always hope that toxic people will stop being like that, but they don't. They suck.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think that's part of it. Waiting for them to realize how much they suck, and then doing something about it. Even a tiny bit of progress becomes cause for celebration.

[madush69.livejournal.com]

I think sometimes I have been that exasperating person for people. I'd like to think that I've grown over the last few years, having a stabilizing influence like Cathy in my life. My therapist seems to think that I'm not too fucked up. Once Dana was out of my life I started to make improvements, but still I sometimes unintentionally irritate people. My mom can be the same way.

On another note, once the physical book is in my hands, I'll be doing a radio news story about the local author who has published her first novel, and I'll need to do a quick phone interview.

Any luck on getting onto actual physical shelves in borders or Nicola's books? I think having that book on the shelves will definately help sell it. If someone picks it up and reads a few pages in the store, they'll want to own it so they can see what's going to happen.

You may also want to donate a couple of copies to the Ann Arbor district library, and then every so often check to see if it is out. If it is, then you know folks are getting turned on to your writing.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

On another note, once the physical book is in my hands, I'll be doing a radio news story about the local author who has published her first novel, and I'll need to do a quick phone interview.


That will be groovy.

Books from small houses have a really difficult time making it onto the shelves. If I have a successful signing or two, that will help.

I do intend to donate books once I make enough money to pay for said books.

[madush69.livejournal.com]

I ordered two copies, maybe I should donate one to the library. I was thinking, maybe you could check with the library about holding signings or readings at various branches. If they're in the evening, I'm sure Cathy or I could help with the commute. Also, we got a free book here at the station this morning I thought you might like. It's called "The Raw Shark Texts" and is by Steven Hall. On the front, it says it was described as "Exhilarating" by Entertainment Weekly. The San Francisco Chronicle says it's like Melville meets Chrichton.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I would love to check out that book. I could stand to read something "Exhilarating" since most of what I've been reading lately (except Harry Potter) has been lousy.

[lickingtoad.livejournal.com]

Friends jibe each other all the time, but *beneath* that there has to be love and trust and understanding and cooperation.

If you scrape away the facile stuff and deep-down, the person's an intolerable ass? Yeah, there's the door.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I daresay you are better at extricating yourself from such situations than the average bear.