Erradicating Undesireability One Photo at a Time.

[wednes]

Are you:

Agonized over the cumbersome process involved in photoshoping something?

Tired of looking at your friends and family because they're so damn fat?

Really, REALLY vain?

Well, you will be happy to learn that HP has a new camera out that makes people look slightly thinner. So now that special lady in your life will no longer refuse to be photographed because she "looks awful". (isn't that always what people say? Don't take my picture, I look AWFUL!!) And the camera will no longer add that hideous, grotesque, disgusting ten pounds. Thank heaven, right?

Think I'm kidding? I'm not.
As I was just saying over at big_fat_blog, the purpose of a camera is to make a visual record of things as they are. If you want some kind of fun-house mirror crap then what you really need is a caricature artist, not a camera. All this kind of technology does is make cameras less trustworthy. ;-]

And of course, the most irritating thing about this camera isn't even that they made it.
It's that people will buy it.

Comments

[uterdic.livejournal.com]

That's nothing. Sandisk has web-cameras with motion tracking in them that you can select a number of icons that will be displayed in front of your face while you talk with others online. Like Googly eyes, or an afro, or that black censorship bar. They will follow your head around while you are talking. It's really fun. No Mac versions out yet, but it's only time.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I'm totally in favor of fun things like what you describe. But the subtle manipulation of reality is a bit too remeniscent of The Running Man.

[uterdic.livejournal.com]

I know, I was telling you about it to lighten the topic.

Besides, that stuff is really easy to do in photoshop.

[hortonhearsawho.livejournal.com]

...But it's more squished than slim. The new look is apparently "I've been run over by a steamroller!" Steamroller chic, or something... And those people don't exactly need a slimming feature, anyway.

That's seriously... weird.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it makes me think of Mike TeeVee in the new Willy Wonka movie (which is to say, like he is in the book!).

[lickingtoad.livejournal.com]

If my picture were taken with that camera, I'd be a vertical line with some fuzz on it. In other words:

That's seriously fucked up.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Maybe next year they'll have the one that gives boys muscles or something. Not like you aren't already cute as a bug.

[sudrin.livejournal.com]

While I appreciate the outrage presented by this feature, I want to say that as a semi-prosumer photographer who has photographed my share of women I PERSONALLY find quite beautiful its an entirely other matter when it comes to how those women view themselves in the photograph.. and "I look fat" is the number two complaint, followed closely behind "look how many chins I have!". If it makes women more willing to be photographed, I'd be happy to have just about any pseudo-feature on the camera. Its just a shame that as a society we feel the need for such things.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Indeed. And frankly, my broad claim that all such woman are "Very Vain" was incorrect. I often forget that women of all sizes have body issues, and that to call them vain is almost a "blame the victim" mentality.

And yes, ultimately it is sad that anyone would feel that they need such a product in order to get people to pose.

[nokturnalia.livejournal.com]

That's so fucked up I can't even get angry... I just feel sad.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Yup...

[princezna.livejournal.com]

DUMB!!

[ex-jenniepan481.livejournal.com]

wow, why cant people just get OVER themselve and accept the size that they are? sheesh? Dont people know the saying that "bigger is better"?

[wednes.livejournal.com]

For many people, it's a fear that people won't accept them as opposed to not accepting themselves. But yeah, it's a sad state of affairs when people want a device like this.

[ex-jenniepan481.livejournal.com]

sheesh. people are strange. makes me want to sit on my fat couch with my fat cat and have my picture taken with my fat camera..haha.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Be sure to post it. I always love your knockers charming smile.

[ex-jenniepan481.livejournal.com]

well at least if all my teeth really do fall out, no one will notice..haha!

Oh I found a link to a fat dollie maker. Not that I would wear much of the stuff on it..but its nice to know there are fat dollies!

http://www.spookbot.com/green/fatdollie.htm

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Whoa, they've added a lot of stuff since the last time I was over there. Very nice!