I have no words. Well, obviously I have some...

[wednes]

Well, I'm on my way out of town and not sure when I'll return. I guess I'd better post this for posterity.
I'm a little nervous right now so pardon any shaky hand typing or semi coherent babbling.



I had this chocolate in the fridge I was saving to eat before writing tonight. I like to have a nice, zippy sugar buzz (in addition to any other buzzes I might be feeling, but I digress) when I write. Anyway. H ate it ALL and then lied and said he didn't. Can you beleive it? I couldn't. Seriously. It was good chocolate too, not that drugstore crap. nate101000 bought it.

Well, one thing led to another and he shoved me. Actually shoved me against a wall. Those of you who've been to my place know that I don't have much in the way of wall space. So I kind of went into my big DVD shelf, which knocked over and a lava lamp pretty much conked me on the head. Thank goodness it wasn't on.

So H starts saying Oh, I'm sorry I'm sorry Are you okay? But frankly by this point, I couldn't give a fuck what he thinks. I mean seriously, this was a long time in coming. So I said...well, I forget what I said exactly but it was punctuated by my picking up the lava lamp and giving him what I honestly thought would be a taste of his own medicine. Suffice to say, lava lamp bottles are bigger and sturdier than they look, as is my pitching arm. I guess he's really hurt. I mean, he looked hurt but I'm sure he's really fine. I was gonna call an ambulance, but I seem to have forgotten to charge my cell phone for the second week in a row. I didn't really know what to do. So I left. Me and my laptop (my laptop and I?) are going to...well, maybe I shouldn't say.

Anyway, I imagine his work is wondering where he is. If he was more of a slacker it wouldn't matter so much. But he hardly ever misses work and he always, always calls. I kind of wish I'd taken some stuff with me when I left, but I just didn't think about it. Seeing him sprawled out on the floor like that just freaked me the hell out. I had to get the hell out of here right away.

So listen, I hate to do this to everyone again, but I'm going to put a paypal button up later so I can get a greyhound ticket. I might be paying some of you a visit in the near future. I beleive derekfz owes me a night of sleep on the sofa.

Okay kids, that's it. I'll see ya when I see ya.

EDIT: It's a joke kids. Everybody Relax, and maybe buy a calendar. ;-}

Comments

[groovesinorbit]

I get it. ; )

(this is an April Fool's joke, right?)

[stranger-tales.livejournal.com]

That's what I'm guessing. Mine was going to involve me going to jail for assault so it ain't that far fetched.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Hey shut up!

I totally could have brained someone with a lava lamp.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Why yes, yes it is.

[groovesinorbit]

Ha! I knew it! *happy dance*

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Yes, H was also very releived to learn that he had not been bashed into unconsciousness.

[parilous.livejournal.com]

Well, if it is, then it's a good prank, because I believed it to be serious!

(Deargod,don'tletitbeserious,pleasedon'tletitbeserious)

[roane.livejournal.com]

Ditto. I was kinda freaked out for a minute.

(Still a teeny bit worried until I get confirmation that it is a prank. ;))

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Geez, I guess I'm a better writer than I thought.

I didn't think anyone would fall for me knocking H out cold and then posting about it.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Nope, not serious.

But you can still paypal me some money if you want. ;-}

[trav28.livejournal.com]

You had me going for a moment there and only joining your reading list recently, I didn't know what to expect.

You got me - I now see you as some fugitive hooligan on the run with a laptop and a broken lava lamp encrusted with blood and brain matter.

I am sooo trusting ;)

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Ha!

It only fooled people who don't know us in real life.
So that's saying something...

[pleasing-tint.livejournal.com]

Don't bother comin' to Canada, Missy. We gots too many criminals smoking pot and being sympathetic to the homosexual agenda up here. And the chocolate stinks.

Dear H. May you rest in peace. A straight edge man taken down by the very symbol of the dead dope subculture. His cranial blood spots the blacklight posters of my reeling mind.

[everythingtold.livejournal.com]

I don't know who you are but I love you for your first line :P

[pleasing-tint.livejournal.com]

I love you too.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Actually, I think you would love Tinty's journal.

So many ladies...

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Best. Comment. Evar.

[pleasing-tint.livejournal.com]

That's twice for me!

[nate101000.livejournal.com]

I think we all know what this post was after the part about H telling a lie. Better luck next year.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that really was the first big clue.

You'll get your pranking at a later time.

[roane.livejournal.com]

I'll tell you, I knew the whole thing was incredibly out of character for the H I knew> If my ex-husband (who, when I was married to him, was about as straight edge as H) hadn't been arrested for public intoxication this past year, I wouldn't have been so quick to buy it. That was my lesson in how much people can change. ;)

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Understandable.

I feel kinda bad now, I didn't think anyone would possibly take that seriously. I got a TM offering me money and several Emails for people asking if I needed to crash with them.

Nice to know I'm popular enough that internet buddies would offer to harbor my fugitive ass.

[nokturnalia.livejournal.com]

:-P

heh

[katharinakatt.livejournal.com]

Didn't believe a word of it. Better luck next year.

Re: heh

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I didn't find it very beleivable either; I was surprised it got anyone.

Although I don't know if it's good or bad that so many people thought I was capable of such a thing...and that if I was, that they would totally help me.