wednes | Probing Questions:

---Do you ever think to yourself:

Man...if my neighbors could hear what was going on in my head, they'd call the cops?

If I ever talked to anyone else like I talk to me in the fight currently going on in my head, they'd be justified in kicking my ass. As I was just saying to someone around here, I think if there were two of me, I wouldn't be able to stand hanging out with myself. Not to be self-denegrating, but in almost no time I think I'd really tire of my bullshit and have to give myself what for.

---Why is LJ working so crappily?
I don't pay for anything on the whole internet (unless it's being shipped to me) except LJ. So I want it to work properly all the time. And today, it isn't.

---Does anybody want to go see The Hills Have Eyes remake with me?

---Is anyone really surprised to learn that a lot of dead people voted in the Detroit election?

---Don't you think David Warner should play Fenrir Greyback?

---And finally, how sad are we to lose Ralph Furley/Mister Limpet and Kolchak the Night Stalker in one weekend?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

what's been up with lj? im a paid user too, but at the moment we are stealing someones wireless (shh!) so the whole internets are a bit slower for us at the moment anyways.

I can't upload userpics or change my info page, and commenting is really slow and takes more than one try.

damit, those are all things i like to do all the time! are you on the filetminon cluster like me? i wonder if thats why.

anyways, hope it clears up for ya!

Yeah, same cluster. I expect it to be slow and shit at 10am or 6pm, but not at midnight on a Sunday...

I'm sure it'll be fine soon though, I just like complaining.

Do you evern think to yourself :

Man my life is going down the shitter.. as you're laying at someone elses house on their "grandma" couch.. reading Maxim and listening to Eminem?

..Yeah.. that was me last week :P

I often feel that way, although not for precisely the same reasons. I'm a 35 year old college graduate who isn't married, published or even employed. But you can't really be happy making those kind of quantitative judgements.

You're an awesome girl; and if the most important thing you do in life is raise happy, well-adjusted kids, that is a valuable contribution to the world. But you do much more than that, you are sweet and thoughtful, funny and clever. I suspect that you have not been taught to see your own value; and that is a shame, because I see it just fine.

Deep down I realize this.. but I've gotten myself into a bit of a mess now. After last months happenings.. the "self medicating" got deeper and deeper.. the binges got longer and longer.. and here we are.
But it'll all work out. It always does. :)

I certainly know how that goes. Try not to beat yourself up over it.

You are in counseling, yes?

I'm not. The reality checks just hit a bit harder than others sometimes.. but then they pass :P
And yes I am.

I can't even measure how much being in my program has helped me.

I was really bummed last night when R&I were watching ABC news and they did a thing about Don Knotts, but didn't even mention Darren McGavin. Hmph.

I must agree.

---Do you ever think to yourself:

Man...if my neighbors could hear what was going on in my head, they'd call the cops?

All the time. Especially when I'm writing for Bellatrix or Isabel in my RPG. It's fun, though, to know that the world in my head has no resemblance to the masque I wear at work or among the neighbours. Bwahaahaaa.

---Don't you think David Warner should play Fenrir Greyback?

OMG!!11one! Yes. I <3333 Mr Warner and have been a huge fan of his work forever; even though he ususally ends up dying in the most grisly of manners in his films *sigh*

---And finally, how sad are we to lose Ralph Furley/Mister Limpet and Kolchak the Night Stalker in one weekend?

Bummer.

even though he ususally ends up dying in the most grisly of manners in his films *sigh*

Ha! If you can't be decapitated by the devil or sent to eternity in a time machine...well, I forgot where I was going with this, but he is Greyback for sure.

... but he is Greyback for sure.

Provided ABC and dAvid Heyman agree with me!

David Warner *is* Greyback!
Let's hope cosmic casting agrees.

I'm working on toning down similar inner voices. I don't deserve that shit, and neither do you. What have we done that's so terrible, anyway?

You're strange and unusual, the rest of the pack has probably tried to beat you back into line your whole life. Nonconformity has a price, but look at the alternative.

That is very astute. I just wish I had been able to muster any sort of self esteeme as a kid so I'd have less to ruminate about now. I just feel like I wasted so much time worrying about shit that is ultimately unimportant.

I have never wanted to be ordinary, but I didn't realize it would be so draining not to be.

They start when we're kids... That's why the voices are so loud and nasty. I dunno about you, but I know I started with self esteem. But unique doesn't play well on the playground. It's funny, aren't we all told to be ourselves as kids? At least I remember that shit. But only a narrow range is acceptable.

Then we grow up and end up on lj *g*

Well, in college they change it to "be yourself...but if this is who you are, be someone else" It's the same message all thru school, but it's not overty until you're almost to the end.

My mom (an untreated bipolar) pretty much whipped all the esteeme out of me before I started school, leaving a chubby awkward dysfuntional kid named "wednesday" to fend for herself. I suspect I could have handled the bullies (both overt and subtle) much better if I'd been able to escape from bullies once I got home.

Who knows though, plenty of kids with cool parents still end up shooting up schools.

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