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The Murder Pipes
It occurred to me this evening, that even regular visitors to my home may not know about The Murder Pipes.
When we moved into this apartment, we realized that we were in for some noise. We have a loud dog just down the hall; upstairs neighbors who come home at 3 in the morning sounding like a herd of drunken elephants; and four children and a baby right across the hall. We are also very near the front door which means we hear the buzzer every single time. Plus, sometimes the kids across the hall play by locking eachother out and then buzzing and buzzing to get let back in. Hilarious!!
But in the end, all those noises are no match for The Murder Pipes.
Every so often and for no particular reason, our bathroom pipes emit a ridiculously loud, high pitch sound that could easily be mistaken for a woman being visciously stabbed to death in the next room. It is a horrible, disturbing, almost Flanders-like wail that I probably could not bear to hear if I was say, on acid. As such, there has been no acid since moving in here. Well that, and I'm really getting too damn old to be dropping any damn LSD. Anywhooo...if you hang out at my place long enough, you too shall hear:
The Murder Pipes.
When we moved into this apartment, we realized that we were in for some noise. We have a loud dog just down the hall; upstairs neighbors who come home at 3 in the morning sounding like a herd of drunken elephants; and four children and a baby right across the hall. We are also very near the front door which means we hear the buzzer every single time. Plus, sometimes the kids across the hall play by locking eachother out and then buzzing and buzzing to get let back in. Hilarious!!
But in the end, all those noises are no match for The Murder Pipes.
Every so often and for no particular reason, our bathroom pipes emit a ridiculously loud, high pitch sound that could easily be mistaken for a woman being visciously stabbed to death in the next room. It is a horrible, disturbing, almost Flanders-like wail that I probably could not bear to hear if I was say, on acid. As such, there has been no acid since moving in here. Well that, and I'm really getting too damn old to be dropping any damn LSD. Anywhooo...if you hang out at my place long enough, you too shall hear:
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OMG. Our pipes make that noise, too! Actually, it doesn't sound like a woman screaming, it sounds more like a guy with a big face puffing out his cheeks and pressing his lips together. Like if you try to make an elephant noise.
I wonder how many people have the same problem and chalk it up to, say, the tormented spirit of a murdered woman haunting the building??
No wonder the guys on Ghost Hunters are plumbers, they probably know ALL of the pipes/screaming phenomena and what causes them. [nods]
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BTW, one way to neutralize sound pollution is to hum along with it. If you can make harmony with it, specifically a fifth away, then that's even better; so the buzzer might be one that could be cancelled out more easily than The Murder Pipes.
Damn fool kids...
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And from now on...I shall hum that Kung Fu Fighting song whenever the kids are locking each other out. Maybe I'll teach it to them in farsi. ;-}
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Ha! So true.
*insert Overlook Hotel joke here*
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Murder Pipes makes me hear "Tubular Bells" in my mind.
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;-}
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That is sooooo tits!
Thanks, man.
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Luckily, I'm an aspiring horror writer and not say, a florist or a day-care manager.
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