Short Story, punks.

[wednes]

Here is another short story I just wrote (read: it's fully of typos and tense problems) about another hapless individual with a monster in thier house. I can assure you that this one does not end as happily, or with as much sex as the last one!

I'd also like to stress that while there are certain words used that some people may find offensive, I myself do not have any problems or desire to oppress anyone else on this Earth. I'm not really one for the oppressing, as it sounds like a shitload of work.

Anyway, if you have time to read my little story, please do. I kind of need to know if it's scary and if it makes sense. It's not spelled out very well and I'm trying to gauge how much information is too much.

Comments

[everythingtold.livejournal.com]

Was I supossed to get the impression that Jonas and the narrator were the same person? That the guy had two personalities? I thought it was a good story. :)

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Yes, ther narrator was so traumatized by his father's treatment of him that he split into a rugged/jock type guy who occasionally killed women. That's why his date was tied up in the closet and the narrator was afriad to open the trunk. Also why there's only one bedroom.

[everythingtold.livejournal.com]

That and the axe was 'stained with something', Jonas was not home, only Jonas' name was on the machine . . . things like that. I thought it was great b/c without outright saying he was diagnosed with DID or something, you totally implied it. :)

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Wheee! yay!

Thanks.

[groovesinorbit]

I like it. I like it even better now with the idea of a multiple-personality involved. Hadn't thought of that until I saw the first comment.

But yeah, scary, disturbing, and it makes sense.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Coooool.

Thanks for reading!

[groovesinorbit]

It's always a treat.