ext_276426 ([identity profile] lickingtoad.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] wednes 2002-06-10 07:35 pm (UTC)

The Top Ten Reasons Wednes Is Like God:

10. She's bigger than me. And scary.

9. I often hear Her voice without seeing her.

8. She distributes prophecy, unsolicited.

7. She threatens me with fiery destruction if I disobey.

6. She has little tasks for me to perform.

5. She encourages me in Her worship with instructional science fiction videos and demented literature.

4. She punishes me for my sins.

3. She makes me grateful for Her bountiful offerings of sustenance.

2. She's crazy, just like that other guy in that other book.

And the NUMBER ONE reason: She keeps telling me She's gonna jail me, flog me, crucify me, raise me from the dead, and set me at Her right hand, and oversee my reign on Earth. As if.

-- L

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