Dead: Old Dirty Bastard, Linguo, Arafat, Disco, God,

[wednes]

Tonights new Simpsons was not very funny. Ironically, watching Fresh Prince of BelAire reruns was more enjoyable. I felt like watching a comedy, then I remembered Crazy People was just loaned out over the weekend. No matter of course, I have many splendid comedies in my collection.

I re edited chapter 12 so it sounded a tad less like it was written by some kind of stoned maniac. I'm going to try and get thru 13 and 14 by Weds night, since I'm back at the shelter then and won't be able to get anything done for two whole nights. I'm also going to be there thanksgiving night, mostly so I won't feel bummed about not having anyone to spend the holiday with. H will most likely be at work, and everyone else will be taking the time to show off how much they are liked by thier stupid families. You'd think people could show some fucking empathy. At the same time, you'd think I'd be over feeling shitty about this whole thing after almost 10 years of being away.

I'm feeling really depressed about things again. I've never been not working on my birthday before...honest. Not since I was 16 and got my first real job. I hate not having any money, I hate not having somewhere to go, I hate feeling trapped in this crowded-ass apartment and having to be up in the middle of the night just to have some time to do what I want.
Plus, my Bed and Breakfast idea is a good one. Which makes it even more frustrating to know that I could never get it off the ground. Nice to know I have no prospects whatsoever for a good future before I'm even 35. It's actually a really common trait in serial killers to be intelligent and creative, but to float around to a string of meanningless jobs and never feel appreciated for anything. I can see how that goes, because if I were just a bit more of a sociopath, and maybe a touch more motivated...actually I've changed my mind about finishing that sentence.

Maybe when the moon comes back, I'll feel better.

Comments

[gifgal.livejournal.com]

dont they say things come in threes? (like when famous people die, etc?). well, in this case i guess 5 hahaha.

i read that next friday night are good for lenoid showers, maybe those will help perk ya up a bit :)

(and btw, im waiting to read your story you are writing all at once, so i haven't peeked once, but can i get a general idea into it? im already anxious for it hehe)

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I think reding the first chapter gives you hints into pretty much everything else that will happen. I think it is a dramatic story with elements of suspense and horror. But it might just be the fucked up ramblings of some kind of nut.

I guess we'll both find out when it ends.

[madush69.livejournal.com]

You'll find something. I just know you will. You're too smart, and too bright for to not find work soon. I understand the depression thing, and don't have any good advice, but just know that we, your friends, care, and are rooting for you.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Thanks man.

[klynnfrost.livejournal.com]

I'll come and stay at your bed a breakfast.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Yeah...if you're not working there.

[madush69.livejournal.com]

I'll stay and come at your bed and breakfast.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

No, you won't.

;-)

[fflo.livejournal.com]

You're no sociopath, W! You crazy? (Yeah, you crazy, but craziness is the only sane attitude sometimes.)

I'm gonna have to hire Jesse Jackson to come over and give you the Keep Hope Alive speech. Or something like that. There's going to be a way for you to apply that great brain of yours to somebody else's needs before long, and, recognizing its value, those somebodies will indicate their appreciation and give you the positive feedback the work world has largely denied you of late.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Please don't bother with the Jesse Jackson thing.

And thank you for the encouragement.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'll call him back & tell him not to come after all.