wednes | Working for the Weekend...yet again.

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Current Music: Green Eyed Lady

Working for the Weekend...yet again.

Day two of Troy continues with thousands upon thousands...okay but a couple hundred people did come here to see Troy. And we were eventually ready for them. That is quite a feat considering half of our opening staff did not make it in until well after we opened. I had to set up with 2 newbies. Poor, poor me.
We are also short handed tonight due to call-ins. I sort of wish people took this job more seriously. But I suppose with what we get paid you can only ask for so much.

Man, Scott has been playing The Entertainer (the song) for over an hour now on repeat. I think I'm going to bash his head in with a rock. Not really, he's actually pretty cute and funny and a huge movie snob--which I love. Today he was asking if I still had a crush on HHB, and if not, how come I didn't make like a Hot Hot Scott website. Since that rhymes, it seemed like a good idea. The vibe is just not there, though.

I added this "fat acceptance" blog to my list. I thought it would be positive to large figures and generally uplifting feminist stuff. But it's really kind of POS. They bust on anyone who is trying to lose wieght, skinny people, or anyone who suggests that obese people shouldn't wear low-rise jeans. Come on...
I realize that there should be vocal backlash when it is suggested that no one should sell plus-size lingeries and the like. But certain things like halter tops, short shorts and yes, low rise jeans are not meant for the full figure. I'm not saying wear only tent dresses, but fat people should dress strategically, and waear clothes that fit...currently. This includes hairy gross flabby men who walk around shirtless. Ew. This is only okay on a beach or other clothing optional places; not say--at a baseball game or the mall.
I am irritated that anyone would get pissy with Alton Brown because he is choosing to diet for wieght loss following a heart attack. Dieting is not anti-fat. It is pro-health. AB never told anyone else to do it, he simply stated his plan to change his own habits, for his own health. No one should be giving him shit about it. He has always had a healthy attitude toward eating, cooking and enjoying all manner of food.

Myself, I'm fat. I don't think anyone should be allowed to treat me poorly because of it; nor do I think people should be making assumptions about my eating or excersize habits based on my percieved wieght. I am not less competant, less lovable, less intelligent, less esteemed or any of that there because of my wieght. If I do diet, like now, I expect people to be supportive by not eating my diet food, and not making hurtful cracks. I do NOT expect anyone to ask "how's the diet going" in an accusatory way every time they see food in my hands. After all, I'm more likely to kick your as than the average dame*. Not being much of a runner, stand and fight became my mantra during youthful conflict.
*this is not meant to imply that fat people are likely to fly into violent rages.

My point being, it's okay to be fat. It's okay to be skinny. It's okay to try and change yourself if you're doing it out of self love, not self loathing. I do not beleive that all fat people, or even all fat women hate themselves and thier bodies. I don't anymore...but that took a lot of hard work on my part, and the love of many close freinds and H. Only now am I able to see healthy eating an act of self respect, not of denial. And I don't believe that loving onesself comes any easier to skinny girls. Eat what you want, wear what makes you feel good (although I have to wonder how squeezing ones self into ill-fitting inappropriate clothing helps one feel good) and love thyself. From the freakishly thin to the morbidly obese...love thyself.

And since I've been asked a bunch of times this weekend, I'll just reiterate that Van Helsing was not good. Here at the 'Stone, it's called Van HelSUCK!

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Hey, NO ONE should wear low rise jeans, in my book. (I just think they're weird looking, regardless of figure.)

Crappy fashion sense knows no boundaries. ;-)

I'm with ya on the fat thing, pretty much word for word. I'm fat, though I'm 85 pounds less fat than 18 months ago. And the goal is to be 25 pounds less fat by the end of the year. But I've been fat for years, I'm confident, and I like myself. Just got tired of schlepping the extra baggage and having to restrict where I buy clothes, not fitting in a chair, etc.

And squeezing into inappropriate clothing is fun...I have two corsets that I wore at my heaviest, and I never lacked for male attention. *heh* Okay, so it's only inappropriate at the office...at cons, it's okay. ;-)

Glad to hear that intelligent folks are with me on this. When I'm first lady, maybe that'll be my cause celebre:

JUST SAY NO to low rise jeans!

Every damned bit of that was beautiful! I don't know what else to say. I totally agree with you there! It really pisses me off when people make cracks on overweight (or any kind of) people. What's funny is a lot of those people making those cracks are sitting there puffing on a cigarette or downing craploads of alcoholic beverages. Hypocrites.

Indeed.

And thanks for the text, cutie!

Oh. That is NOT to say I have no sympathy for ppl suffering from addictions (alcohol, drugs, food, sex, gambling etc). I DO have sympathy for them. I'm just saying that no one is better than anyone else AND that most people do the same thing everyone else does on a different level. :)

Yeah, I got that. Worry not.

now i feel all good about myself...
it's kind of a warm, squishy feeling!
you're awesome.
(just so you know)

Oh, well cool!

Unite!!!

My point being, it's okay to be fat. It's okay to be skinny. It's okay to try and change yourself if you're doing it out of self love, not self loathing.

Hear, hear!

And I don't believe that loving onesself comes any easier to skinny girls.

I can confirm that that's true as well. It's not easy to learn to love yourself when you're constantly told you're a "disgusting toothpick" and that "no one wants to fuck a skeleton". Women can be so cruel toward each other, they take a flaw of yours, something you already feel insecure about, and put a magnifying glass on it, point at it and scream it to the world. That's why women who have the confidence to wear clothes that reveal their thunderthighs and fat arms or visible ribs and stick legs get my respect.

"That's why women who have the confidence to wear clothes that reveal their thunderthighs and fat arms or visible ribs and stick legs get my respect."

I can see that...

I work with a girl who is a size 3 and she is filled with her own self loathing (I'm too skinny!) I tell her that she isn't that is quite beautiful, etc etc. Because, she is, she is proportionate to the way she is supposed to be. Her mom had six kids and is still a size 6. That's just her body type. She's only 18, so I'm wondering if perhaps this is just something that every 18 year old has to go through. (I went through it too, but not as "I'm too skinny" but "I'm too fat.")
I'm still heavy, but I just recently found out, some of it is medical. So, that's a nice reassurance. I've been changing my eating habits, and I'm getting a little better (health wise) so, it's all good. :)

But, good on you for having that view point (and I agree about low rise, I do like low waist though which is slightly higher than low rise) I have short legs for someone of my height, so that means my waist is lower and I just like to wear my pants at that level. Fun for me! :)

I used to get so annoyed with skinny girls who would lament thier size. As I get older/wiser, I realize that everyone has stuff they'd like to change about themselves. Plus saying "damn, you're thin..." is every bit as rude as saying "damn, you're fat."

Well for folks who think (for whatever reasons) that nobody should wear low-rise jeans, it's not fat-phobic or anti-fat to think fat people shouldn't. The problem is that suggesting that fat people shouldn't wear clothing that reveals our fat is inherently anti-fat. If it's okay to be skinny and it's okay to be fat, then it has to be okay to look skinny or to look fat.

What's particularly offensive is when the reason given for such a dictate is that it's somehow harmful or disgusting to others to reveal our fat, in whatever roly-poly, over-the-belt way. It jives all too well with the idea that we (as women are so often told in general) must present our bodies in ways that are acceptable to others. Screw that!

That said, if you want to avoid harrassment and more overt crap about your body, you make choices. It's good to have some circumstances in which you can be dressed (or partially or fully undressed) however the hell you want, so's to send that message to yourself now and again, to counteract the other "You're NOT okay the way you are" message we get all the time---most insidiously from the mass media, both in advertising and "content." So me, I seek times and places and people with whom my belly and thighs and big, unbridled boobs are no problem. And then when I'm walking around downtown I'm not in low-rise jeans.

Well, hell, I'm never in those, cuz they couldn't possibly be comfortable anyway. But I feel strongly that I have just as much of a right to be in them as anyone.

Well, sure. It just seems like everyone wants clothing to:
a) be comfortable and
b) be flattering.

The fat gals I see in low rise jeans are constantly pulling at them, and they are almost never the correct size. It just seems like a tremendous effort and expense to follow a fashion that was a stupid idea in the first place.

My secret fashion faux pas is tying my T-shirt in that sexy 70's clevage enhancing belly-showing way. H loves it, but I don't even do it when our other roomate is home. I just never wanted to subject him to my big belly...

"flattering" = fat phobia (What do we mean by "flattering," after all?)
"never wanted to SUBJECT HIM to my big belly" = fat phobia

Not going for that look around the roommate cuz you suspect he'd have a problem with it and you don't want to put that out there is a little different; wanting to spare him the horror of your body, though---girl!!

But, hell. It's an ongoing process of self-acceptance. As long as we're still moving in that direction, we're being good to ourselves, right?

That isn't totally true. I don't think fat people should wear clothing that exposes fat, I also think that people shouldn't wear clothing that exposes the skin and bone appearance. Does that mean I am fat-phobic, and skinny-phobic?

The word 'flattering' is subjective, it has a far wider meaning than thin. I don't wear shorts in generally public places because I don't think they are flattering on me. This is for a variety of reasons, one of which is because I have very pale skin. Does that make me paleness-phobic?

We all have subjective opinions about what is attractive, and what isn't. That doesn't make us bad people. It just makes us people. What we have to be careful of is to not let our aesthetic decisions rule our behavior.

I don't think fat people should wear clothing that exposes fat, I also think that people shouldn't wear clothing that exposes the skin and bone appearance. Does that mean I am fat-phobic, and skinny-phobic?

Well, yes. Quibble if you will with the particularities of the "phobic" part of it, but, yes, you think your opinions/feelings about other people's bodies' appearances ought to dictate, or at least influence, their choices in attire. Fuck that!

I don't wear shorts in generally public places because I don't think they are flattering on me. This is for a variety of reasons, one of which is because I have very pale skin. Does that make me paleness-phobic?

Yes. You say yourself that one reason you don't want to wear shorts is not wanting to (or being afraid to) expose your pale skin. So, yeah---you are phobic about it. Now if it's not fear but just your taste, then perhaps another slightly differently-shaded-in-meaning term would be better, like "anti-pale" or some such, but that's the idea. Of course I have no objection to your (or anybody else's) choosing to attire him/herself in a way that is comfortable, for whatever reasons. But when you think your personal taste, or even that of the larger culture, should rule other people's decisions, I balk.

We all have subjective opinions about what is attractive, and what isn't. That doesn't make us bad people.

Never said it did.

It just makes us people.

No it doesn't.

What we have to be careful of is to not let our aesthetic decisions rule our behavior.

I disagree! Our aesthetic tastes should rule our behavior, however much we want them to. They just shouldn't be expected to rule OTHER people's!

"...you think your opinions/feelings about other people's bodies' appearances ought to dictate, or at least influence, their choices in attire. Fuck that!"
I didn't say that. I never suggested that anyone should listen to me. I just voiced my opinion, I am allowed to have an opinion.

"But when you think your personal taste, or even that of the larger culture, should rule other people's decisions, I balk."
Once again, I didn't say that.

"'We all have subjective opinions about what is attractive, and what isn't. That doesn't make us bad people.'"
"Never said it did."
I didn't intend to imply that you did say that. I was just stating it for reference.

"'It just makes us people.'"
"No it doesn't."
Having subjective opinions is one aspect of being human whether you like it or not. So, yes it does.

"Our aesthetic tastes should rule our behavior"
So I would be justified in not hanging out with people I found aesthetically displeasing. I would be an ass hole if I did that. I'm an ass hole anyway, ask

wednes, but I'm not that much of an asshole. Let me rephrase my earlier comment.

Our aesthetic tastes shouldn't govern how we treat one another. But that doesn't mean that I can't find over/under weight people exposing their skin to be displeasing.

Don't get me wrong---I'm not trying to suggest on any level that you're an asshole. But I am quoting you directly here (see above): "I don't think fat people should wear clothing that exposes fat, I also think that people shouldn't wear clothing that exposes the skin and bone appearance." Thus, when you say now,

"But when you think your personal taste, or even that of the larger culture, should rule other people's decisions, I balk."
Once again, I didn't say that.,

I beg to differ.

I never said my opinion should rule other people's behavior!!! In my OPINION people should dress in a way that does not expose certain characteristics. That is my OPINION, and should be taken as such. it is NOT an order, just a suggestion.

Indeed. I appreciate hearing yoru viewpoint. i guess I didn't realize that i am still anti fat in some ways.

Hey, so am I. I have plenty of internalized sexism, too, dammit. I think I'm getting pretty good at queer lib., but nowhere near 100% there either.

I see what your saying about all this, and I only have a few comments.

Obviously you know that I am not a superficial person, and I like the meat on the bones more than the bones.

It seems in my opinion that the stigma against being heavy is worse than the stigma against being thin. Thin people don't constantly see heavy people in the media talking bout gaining more weight to look sexier. The media in this country still tells heavy people to loose weight more than it tells thin people to gain weight.

I'm sure that it hurts people to hear 'you are too skinny', or 'are you anorexic', or any of the unkind things that get said to thin people. But those thin people can turn on a television w/o being assaulted by images that tell them they aren't sexy, heavy people can't do that. In fact it is the complete opposite. As a people we see extremely thin people as having an eating disorder, and even go so far as to call it a disease. But we don't do the same for heavy people, at least not to the same extent extent.

Have you ever heard someone say "No thin chicks!"?

How often do you hear people who are already thin complaining about having to loose weight. They do that because our society tells them they should be thin, our society doesn't tell anyone to be heavy.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I have far less sympathy for thin people than I do for heavy people, thin people have it a lot easier.

I agree with that as a general rule.

What i'm talking about it going to a "size acceptance" community and hearing people bashing skinny gals. Size means ALL sizes, not just whatever the person speaking happens to be.

"As a people we see extremely thin people as having an eating disorder, and even go so far as to call it a disease. But we don't do the same for heavy people, at least not to the same extent extent."

This is very true. When large people talk about hypothyroidism or the myriad of other issues that make people with relatively good habits overwieght, they are often disbeleived. Even depression affects weight gain.

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Working for the Weekend...yet again.

"Fat Acceptance"

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