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Why they call 'em Harry Potheads:
People are irritating me today. Work was slow and stupid. And no matter how many dishes I wash, my kitchen is still full of dirty ones. It's very irritating.
TV doesn't have anything good on it tonight. I feel personally offended by that since we pay so damn much for cable. I mean, it's over $100 a month with the internet. Highway freakin robbery I say. Stupid Comcast!
Some of our members tongiht were talking to me about being in a writing group. These are local older types, all published and totally motivated who get together and read each others stuff, and comment. I was quite flattered that they found me to be the sort of person they'd want to include; and was quite terified at the prospect of being around REAL writers. I mean like, the kind people pay to read. I haven't actually been one of those ever, and am afraid of looking like the ignorant red neck next to people who grew up around culture and smartitude.
For those of you who don't know, I come from ignorant white trash. I was the second person on one side of my family to go to college, and the first on the other side to finish high school on the first try. My family is rascist, ignorant, violent and most of them drink too much. When I used to read books as a kid I was made fun of for my "fancy book learnin'" and when I graduated from college I was asked if I thought I was "better than the rest of us". Funnily enough, I'd felt that way since junior high...Of course my "family" has nice stuff, and lives in a nice part of town. But if you use racial slurs towards your own kids, you're trash pure and simple.
My point is that its a very odd thing for me to be around intelligent people whose parents are doctors and teachers and lawyers. My mom is a secretary who married a guy who worked in an auto plant. So the idea of trying to hold up my end of the conversation, or pass around my latest freaky sexy murder story to sophisticated Ann Arbor types is probably the scariest thing I can think of. And if i go for it and fail, it will feel like I was wrong to try to bust out of the white trash ghetto in the first place.
I realize intellectually that I should get past all that. What other people think isn't that important, neither is ones past. But I'll tell you it makes me damn made to think about how I might have turned out had I had encouragement instead of violence. But at this point, that's just so much whining and excuse making...
On the other hand:
You seem older than your years, like a wise sage.
Your head always either buried in a book, or
discussing what you have learned with others,
you are Thoth. The creator of writting, and
language, you are full of wisdom. When you
talk, people listen, knowing they will learn
something new.
Which Ancient Egyptian Diety are you?
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Have a good day, all!
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You are the most worshipped godess in all of Egypt.
You are a great protector, a mother type.
People appeal to you for guidance and
direction. You fight for what you love, and
rarely take no for an answer. You are Isis.
Which Ancient Egyptian Diety are you?
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I guess one gets used to feeling judged by the rich and educated, especially being in retail for so long. People talk to you like you don't have the right to an opinion.
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I tend to think of educational privilege as a part of class privilege, and class privilege as the greater, more fundamental problem. Some people of modest beginnings manage to get book learnin' and all, and most people from means who want it get formal education, but it's not the formal education that makes someone an admirable thinker or writer. And only some people with advantages have insight---in fact, I really think that the MORE advantages you have, the HARDER it is to have some kinds of insight.
Clearly (and yeah, I don't really know you, but) you are a thoughtful woman with a spirited way and an interest in and ability to express herself in words. What does a writer need besides that? Well, practice. And confidence, or the ability to fake it or go on faith. And an audience. They say writers' groups can provide the audience and some pressure for deadlines that helps one get regular practice.
Oh, and I guess I want to add that, to me---and this has just become part of my take on things in recent years---a good writer is often also one who is willing to open herself up to risks and puttin' it out there, whatever her "it" may be. Looks to me like this post is an example of you doing that!
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So long, Dont' let self doubt interfere with your plans to improve your life. *waves*
Maybe I'm just making excuses to keep from having to risk too much. I need to get over that shit.
Anyway, thanks. We really do need to get together at some point for drinks etc.
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I call it "Suburban Chevrolet :60"
It doesn’t matter if you have a Saturn or a Hummer…If you have a G.M.A.C. lease, you can be driving a brand new car, truck, or S.U.V. today! Get into Suburban Chevrolet now, and drive out with an awesome new ride!!
Don’t waste time – visit Suburban Chevrolet, the Newest Chevy dealer in town.
They’re willing to do what it takes to get your business.
At Suburban, you automatically get all G.M. dealer wholesale incentives! Some dealers keep the deals for themselves, or make you jump through hoops…NOT Ann Arbor’s SUBURBAN CHEVROLET!
Suburban has what you want, with great monthly payments YOU can afford.
Get a Malibu 4-door, right now just $173.
Cavalier, with room for five, as little as $133.
The Standard of pickups, Silverado, just $173.
Trailblazer 4-by-4, the full size SUV, only $287 a month.
Don’t forget the Corvettes and SSR’s for less than you’ve ever dreamed!
The New/Old kid on the block is Suburban Chevrolet…Jackson Rd at Wagner in Ann Arbor, with over 57 years of Michigan Experience. Suburban Chevrolet, exceeding your expectations!
What I'm saying here is Anything you write will be more enriching and inspiring than some Chevy commercial. Granted it's a good commercial, but as a writer, you offer far more to the world than I ever will.
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BTW, even if it might function like an excuse, that stuff you were writing about isn't just that. It's a legit part of your experience AND a significant force of oppression that keeps many people from trying even a fraction of what you've managed. I say, use it---and your awareness of it---as a reminder of how strong you are, and of what you've mustered the guts and courage to do already. I mean, give yourself a break!
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