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Why they call 'em Harry Potheads:
People are irritating me today. Work was slow and stupid. And no matter how many dishes I wash, my kitchen is still full of dirty ones. It's very irritating.
TV doesn't have anything good on it tonight. I feel personally offended by that since we pay so damn much for cable. I mean, it's over $100 a month with the internet. Highway freakin robbery I say. Stupid Comcast!
Some of our members tongiht were talking to me about being in a writing group. These are local older types, all published and totally motivated who get together and read each others stuff, and comment. I was quite flattered that they found me to be the sort of person they'd want to include; and was quite terified at the prospect of being around REAL writers. I mean like, the kind people pay to read. I haven't actually been one of those ever, and am afraid of looking like the ignorant red neck next to people who grew up around culture and smartitude.
For those of you who don't know, I come from ignorant white trash. I was the second person on one side of my family to go to college, and the first on the other side to finish high school on the first try. My family is rascist, ignorant, violent and most of them drink too much. When I used to read books as a kid I was made fun of for my "fancy book learnin'" and when I graduated from college I was asked if I thought I was "better than the rest of us". Funnily enough, I'd felt that way since junior high...Of course my "family" has nice stuff, and lives in a nice part of town. But if you use racial slurs towards your own kids, you're trash pure and simple.
My point is that its a very odd thing for me to be around intelligent people whose parents are doctors and teachers and lawyers. My mom is a secretary who married a guy who worked in an auto plant. So the idea of trying to hold up my end of the conversation, or pass around my latest freaky sexy murder story to sophisticated Ann Arbor types is probably the scariest thing I can think of. And if i go for it and fail, it will feel like I was wrong to try to bust out of the white trash ghetto in the first place.
I realize intellectually that I should get past all that. What other people think isn't that important, neither is ones past. But I'll tell you it makes me damn made to think about how I might have turned out had I had encouragement instead of violence. But at this point, that's just so much whining and excuse making...
On the other hand:
You seem older than your years, like a wise sage.
Your head always either buried in a book, or
discussing what you have learned with others,
you are Thoth. The creator of writting, and
language, you are full of wisdom. When you
talk, people listen, knowing they will learn
something new.
Which Ancient Egyptian Diety are you?
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Have a good day, all!