Rousing Game of Quidditch

[wednes]

I swear, I feel so chipper after work I could go out and play witch games on my broomstick if my world were written by JK Rowling. My job is so fun, and the people I work with are so great.

I found out tonight that in Red Dragon, Ratner (ha ha that is the name of the nerd in Fast Times @ Ridgemont High) decided to digitally alter the nude scene with Ralph (rafe) so that his enormous member would not affect audiences. Apparently, test audiences were "distracted" by it.

We all know that there is infinately more female nudity in films than male, and I can count the movies in my collection which actually show penises: The Piano, Edge of Sanity, Crying Game, Sleepaway Camp, Scary Movie--I think that's all. So now that there is one more movie where a reasonably good looking fellow is showing his wares, it has to be digitally smallified so we dont' get distracted??? I'm beginning to think this is a scam to insure that no man ever has to feel bad about the size of his wee. Although I daresay I could be distracted by a huge cock in the middle of my movie...

So thank goodness the film industry is so sensitive. Now no one will ever be encouraged to feel bad about not being able to live up to the image of beautiful bodies all over the movie screen. Be grateful that your date will never compare you to the person on the screen who is better endowed than you. And hooray that no one will ever again feel they need to live up to an unrealistic image of what we all should look like. Thank you, Hollywood, for thinking of us...

Comments

Hey!

[(Anonymous)]

Who wants to see cock in a movie anyway? Hmm, well, I dunno...maybe just to see yet another one that's bigger than mine, thus giving me something else to bitch about. They showed peepee in Scary Movie? What scene? I saw Sleepaway Camp in junior high and dumped the girl I was dating because I figured she had a willy tucked away in her Jordache or Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. Normally that wouldn't bother me, but I simply feared that my young life would end if I found out that she was more endowed than me, which wouldn't be difficult.

Speaking of cinematic nudity, it seems that film-makers have no problem displaying ass in movies. Maybe I'm just an assmaster, but I love seeing ass in movies -- providing it's nice ass. Chick ass. Guy ass -- as long as it's nice, it's cool to see. Genitals are cool, but ya know, once you've seen one tallywacker, you've seen them all...or maybe not?!

I'm going to see Red Dragon this weekend with Curtis (oh, joy). He's been down lately since someone broke into his trailer and stole his vintage Hello Kitty and Strawberry Shortcake figurines. I hear he has a bounty for this dastardly absconder of 80's kitch.

Okay, so Frankie Faison (FF) was actually in the Michael Mann Manhunter movie? Was he Barney in that flick too, or someone else? It's hard to believe that Agent Crawford was portrayed by 3 actors: Dennis Farina, Harvey Keitel (whose penis was displayed in Bad Lieutenant and The Piano -- and I'm still in therapy for seeing both), and Scott Glen. For some reason, there was no Crawford in Hannibal.

I hear they (Kubrick) sandblasted Tommy Cruise's wee willy wonka from Eyes Wide Shut since it was quite small and distracting. Any truth to that humourous rumour?

Slumlord...er Sithlord

Re: Hey!

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I'm sure I don't know about Lestat's wee. In Manhunter, Frankie Faison was a cop. In scary movei the wee is in a polariod. Thank you for letting me show off my extensive knowlege about penises, of course it turns out that you have vastly more knowlege than I on the subject.