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Wednes and the Disappointing $15 Kindle Script
You know what's weird? Given the popularity of Harry Potter fandom with women my age, I'd have expected people in my social media feeds to be losing their minds over Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. They weren't. Nobody has been all "Oh, you haven't read it yet?!? It's soooo good." None of that. Now that I've read it, I totally understand why.
This was a play and not a novel, which we all knew going in. It's written as a series of very short scenes. This makes certain parts of the story more impactful, and other parts woefully abbreviated. The dialogue was not especially good. I imagine Ms Rowling et al don't really know these people--Albus Potter, Delphini, Scorpius Malfoy, as well as the characters we're actually interested in. That's apparent, as these people are pretty flat and uninteresting--which is incredible, given how fascinating their histories are.
Okay...When the main series ended, Rowling stated that "19 Years Later" there would certainly be a new headmaster. Nope. Albus Potter is at least a 2nd year, and Minerva is Headmistress in this book.
I'd say less than 20 years after finishing high school is a little early to be the Minster of Magic. Eh, Hermione?
As for some of the stuff that happens during Albus and Scorpius's first time travel trip--I think they're selling Cedric way short. Sure, sometimes people are utterly changed by terrible experiences. But losing a contest, even very badly, should not have been enough to make Cedric side with Voldemort. So I call bullshit on that.
Harry is a dick. He says easily one of the worst things a parent can ever say to their child. Sure, he didn't have a role model. So friggin' what? You don't need to have a dad to know not to tell your kid you wish he wasn't yours. WTF?
So...Bellatrix was pregnant with Voldemort's child. This makes no sense to me. First, Voldie has never showed even the slightest interest in sexuality. In fact, he seems contemptuous of the very concept of love. He'd probably consider sex a base urge to overcome, not something to embrace. He believes he's making himself immortal, so he shouldn't be interested in procreation at all. So that's just dumb.
But even more dumb? The time table they've established means Bella would have given birth just before the Battle of Hogwarts. That means she'd have been super preggo when she was torturing Hermione at Malfoy manner. Did anyone notice that? I sure didn't. Sure, there might be some magic that could hide her baby bump. But if Bellatrix was actually pregnant with Voldemort's heir, she would never, ever hide it. She'd be far too proud and braggy. So shenanigans on that too.
We're to believe that a young witch named Delphini or something tricked the staff at the old folks home and tricked Amos Diggory that she was his niece? Really? She managed to confund all those people continuously for months if not years?
Harry's baby blanket? C'mon, really? The whole wacky time travel to revisit the original story to add details that couldn't have been there the first time? No.
Surely James and Lily Potter's house would have had alarms and protection spells, but nothing sounded or reacted when Harry Potter transfigured as Voldemort was standing in the street with someone of Voldemort's bloodline? Shenanigans!
Alternate reality where Ron is married to Padma Patil? Can't see it. Not sure I could ever believe it. Luna Lovegood would have made more sense.
And don't even PRETEND to have someone kill Neville, even in an alternate reality. Not. Having. It.
And finally, if you're going to risk the return of Voldemort to bring someone back from the dead--it should have been Colin fricken Creevy. I'll never get over that death. Not ever.
So if you feel like reading it and don't want to spend, let me know and I'll loan it to you for Kindle. It's a pretty short read.
This was a play and not a novel, which we all knew going in. It's written as a series of very short scenes. This makes certain parts of the story more impactful, and other parts woefully abbreviated. The dialogue was not especially good. I imagine Ms Rowling et al don't really know these people--Albus Potter, Delphini, Scorpius Malfoy, as well as the characters we're actually interested in. That's apparent, as these people are pretty flat and uninteresting--which is incredible, given how fascinating their histories are.
Okay...When the main series ended, Rowling stated that "19 Years Later" there would certainly be a new headmaster. Nope. Albus Potter is at least a 2nd year, and Minerva is Headmistress in this book.
I'd say less than 20 years after finishing high school is a little early to be the Minster of Magic. Eh, Hermione?
As for some of the stuff that happens during Albus and Scorpius's first time travel trip--I think they're selling Cedric way short. Sure, sometimes people are utterly changed by terrible experiences. But losing a contest, even very badly, should not have been enough to make Cedric side with Voldemort. So I call bullshit on that.
Harry is a dick. He says easily one of the worst things a parent can ever say to their child. Sure, he didn't have a role model. So friggin' what? You don't need to have a dad to know not to tell your kid you wish he wasn't yours. WTF?
So...Bellatrix was pregnant with Voldemort's child. This makes no sense to me. First, Voldie has never showed even the slightest interest in sexuality. In fact, he seems contemptuous of the very concept of love. He'd probably consider sex a base urge to overcome, not something to embrace. He believes he's making himself immortal, so he shouldn't be interested in procreation at all. So that's just dumb.
But even more dumb? The time table they've established means Bella would have given birth just before the Battle of Hogwarts. That means she'd have been super preggo when she was torturing Hermione at Malfoy manner. Did anyone notice that? I sure didn't. Sure, there might be some magic that could hide her baby bump. But if Bellatrix was actually pregnant with Voldemort's heir, she would never, ever hide it. She'd be far too proud and braggy. So shenanigans on that too.
We're to believe that a young witch named Delphini or something tricked the staff at the old folks home and tricked Amos Diggory that she was his niece? Really? She managed to confund all those people continuously for months if not years?
Harry's baby blanket? C'mon, really? The whole wacky time travel to revisit the original story to add details that couldn't have been there the first time? No.
Surely James and Lily Potter's house would have had alarms and protection spells, but nothing sounded or reacted when Harry Potter transfigured as Voldemort was standing in the street with someone of Voldemort's bloodline? Shenanigans!
Alternate reality where Ron is married to Padma Patil? Can't see it. Not sure I could ever believe it. Luna Lovegood would have made more sense.
And don't even PRETEND to have someone kill Neville, even in an alternate reality. Not. Having. It.
And finally, if you're going to risk the return of Voldemort to bring someone back from the dead--it should have been Colin fricken Creevy. I'll never get over that death. Not ever.
So if you feel like reading it and don't want to spend, let me know and I'll loan it to you for Kindle. It's a pretty short read.