Entry tags:
Unguarded post about personal things:
At this evenings gathering, I was talking to my buddy Kwame about the goings on with Walt, as he is not a livejournal person and, as such, had no idea that I'd been talking to my biological father after 30 some odd years. I found this particularly interesting. Kwame is a cool guy, and even though he's young, he's a good person to talk things over with. He has a unique perspective on life, probably due to his fine upbringing (he was showered with love by his mother... showered with it, I tell you!). Anyway, it made me think about how much I rely on LJ to communicate how I'm feeling, AND how much less stressful life becomes when you always have a sounding board at your disposal. Unlike a "normal" journal (which I have not kept in years) this one allows me to get input and feedback from friends and virtual friends alike. With this in mind, I can totally see how some people become internet addicts. I sit here online typing and typing, while people I see in everyday life aren't aware of significant developments in a timely way.
I used to keep a written journal in high school--and junior high too, come to think of it. Since my life was really shitty at that time, and full of angsty feelings about the day-to-day life living with a crazy woman, my journals were pretty weepy and intense. Instead of working thru the pain of living with mean, spiteful people I attached my feelings to insignificant boys from school, sadly lamenting them not being able to fullfill some ridiculous childhood idea of what it must be like to feel loved by someone. So my young girl journals were inevitably filled with sad poems about why this boy or that boy didn't love me, and lengthy prose about how sorry everyone would feel if I killed myself. I didn't really want to "snuff it" as they say, but as I was telling![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
spiralwitch earlier, I think I did this to pretend (or maybe to assert) that I did have some control over what went on in my life. In a way, affirming my own choice to not die was empowering. Of course, my parents found and read my journals, as did some boys in high school (talk about a panicky couple of weeks) and everyone decided that I was "just trying to get attention" whatever that meant. Those journal are, of course, long gone.
The other interesting thing about LJ is that you can let people in, or keep them out. Even though most of my life is pretty open-door, I do tend to lock entries that are extrememly personal in nature. But I like to meet new people and be exposed to alternate veiwpoints, so I like to unguard as much as possible. Anyway, this entry is an excersize in being more brave...as brave as one can be hiding behind a monitor.
But back to my anecdote: Kwame suggested, as many people have, that I have freinds who are much like family. And of course, I do. I feel very fortunate and pleased to have so many honest, loyal, pleasant freinds in life, and on LJ. The support I get from you guys is staggering at times. And sometimes, when I least expect it, someone likesmarbaby comes along, and reminds me how much a single thought from a single person can really brighten one's day:
enjoy this story of wednesday the witch,
in livejournal, she's found quite the niche.
popular and silly, with a love for things nerdy,
i read all her posts, even ones that are wordy.
and OH! the men fawn over her womanly wiles!
even ken jennings is sending her smiles.
And so, I say to my detractors (if any), "Put THAT in your pipes and smokes it!!!"
I'm a muse to a great artist, SUCKAH!!!
I used to keep a written journal in high school--and junior high too, come to think of it. Since my life was really shitty at that time, and full of angsty feelings about the day-to-day life living with a crazy woman, my journals were pretty weepy and intense. Instead of working thru the pain of living with mean, spiteful people I attached my feelings to insignificant boys from school, sadly lamenting them not being able to fullfill some ridiculous childhood idea of what it must be like to feel loved by someone. So my young girl journals were inevitably filled with sad poems about why this boy or that boy didn't love me, and lengthy prose about how sorry everyone would feel if I killed myself. I didn't really want to "snuff it" as they say, but as I was telling
spiralwitch earlier, I think I did this to pretend (or maybe to assert) that I did have some control over what went on in my life. In a way, affirming my own choice to not die was empowering. Of course, my parents found and read my journals, as did some boys in high school (talk about a panicky couple of weeks) and everyone decided that I was "just trying to get attention" whatever that meant. Those journal are, of course, long gone.The other interesting thing about LJ is that you can let people in, or keep them out. Even though most of my life is pretty open-door, I do tend to lock entries that are extrememly personal in nature. But I like to meet new people and be exposed to alternate veiwpoints, so I like to unguard as much as possible. Anyway, this entry is an excersize in being more brave...as brave as one can be hiding behind a monitor.
But back to my anecdote: Kwame suggested, as many people have, that I have freinds who are much like family. And of course, I do. I feel very fortunate and pleased to have so many honest, loyal, pleasant freinds in life, and on LJ. The support I get from you guys is staggering at times. And sometimes, when I least expect it, someone like
smarbaby comes along, and reminds me how much a single thought from a single person can really brighten one's day:enjoy this story of wednesday the witch,
in livejournal, she's found quite the niche.
popular and silly, with a love for things nerdy,
i read all her posts, even ones that are wordy.
and OH! the men fawn over her womanly wiles!
even ken jennings is sending her smiles.
And so, I say to my detractors (if any), "Put THAT in your pipes and smokes it!!!"
I'm a muse to a great artist, SUCKAH!!!