wednes: (Default)
wednes ([personal profile] wednes) wrote2004-09-13 02:25 am

Wikipedia.org

I just found this amazing site...an online encyclopedia. Among many other awesome things, it had this list of Homer Simpson's occupations, which I couldn't resist sharing with all of you's:



Springfield Nuclear Power Plant:

Technical Supervisor, Sector 7G

Safety Inspector, Sector 7G (current position, with lapses)

Executive (with bathroom privileges and an assistant, Karl)

Executive Assistant/aka Smithers

Executive Vice-President

Owner



Other:

Plant Supervisor/Executive (Globex Corp., Cypress Creek)

Junior Vice-President (CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet)

Owner (ZiffCorp)

Petty Officer Third Class, Naval Reserve (USS Jebediah)

Mayoral bodyguard

Mayor (New Springfield)

Sanitation Commissioner

Guard (Springfield Juvenile Correctional Facility)

Chief of Police

Owner, private security firm (SpringShield)

Telemarketer (Happy Dude/Sorry Dude)

Carnival worker/Carny

Con artist/Grifter

Bartender (Moe's Tavern)

Bartender (Homer's Hunting Club)

Bootlegger/Beer-Baron

Sugar smuggler (Motherloving Sugar Corp.)

Sugar salesman (Farmer Homer's Sweet Sweet Sugar)

Farmer

ToMacco salesman

Traveling salesman (Simpson & Son, Revitalizing Tonic)

Grease collections/sales

Door-to-door spring salesman

Door-to-door knife salesman (Slash-Co.)

Candle maker (Ye Olde Candlemaker, Olde Springfield Towne)

Attack-dog trainer (Pitiless Pup Attack Dog School)

Service Trainee (Gulp 'n' Blow Drive-thru)

Inventor (eg. automatic hammer, 6-legged chair, lazy-bowl, as well as building several robots and being the creator of the alcoholic drinks The Flaming Homer and Skittlebrau)

Oil-rig worker

Astronaut (NASA)

Celebrity assistant (Basinger/Baldwin)

Sports club owner (Denver Broncos)

Sports mascot (Springfield Isotopes)

Boxer (Association of Springfield Semi-Pro Boxers)

Mountain climber (Murderhorn)

League bowler (Pin-Pals)

Bowling alley assistant/Pin monkey (Bowl-o-rama)

Mini-golf assistant (Sir Putts-A-Lot)

Blackjack dealer (Monty's Casino)

Convenience store night-clerk (Kwik-E-Mart)

Missionary

Safety protester

Baby proofer (Wee Care)

Union Boss (Intl. Union of Pastry Chefs, Jazz Dancers, and Nuclear Technicians)

Car designer (Powell Motors)

Used Car salesman

Chauffeur/Limo driver (Classy Joe's)

Truck Driver/Trucker

Snowplow proprietor and driver (Mr. Plow)

Freelance ambulance driver

Monorail conductor

Actor (SAG name, "Homer Jay Simpson")

Talk Show Host (Homer Simpson Show)

Cartoon voice (Poochie)

Drug Spokesman (Viagrogain)

Instructor, "How to keep a successful marriage" (Adult Education Annex)

Fortune Cookie fortune-writer

Food critic (Springfield Shopper)

Movie Producer (Mr. Smith Goes To Washington remake)

Entertainment manager - Animal (Suds McDuff)

Entertainment manager - Country/Western artist (Lurleen Lumpkin)

Musician (Be Sharps)

Musician (Everybody Hates Ned Flanders)

Street musician (one-man-band)

Performance artist/Freak (Hullapalooza)

Authorized Krusty impersonator

Personal entertainer/Prank monkey

Conceptual artist (Louvre: American Style)

Mall Santa Claus

Superhero (the Pie Man)

Mr. X



BONUS!!!!!

Awards & Honors:


First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence, 1992 (after sterilization)

Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Toxic Waste Handler of the Month, 1990

Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Employee of the Month, 1991 (after saving Springfield from a nuclear meltdown)

Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Medal for Bravery, 1995 (after physically plugging a radioactive gas leak)

Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Belching Contest Winner, 1995 (award later yielded to Jay Sherman)

Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Children's Model-Building Contest, 1997

Grammy Award for Outstanding Soul, Spoken Word, or Barbershop Album of the Year, 1985 (Be Sharps)

Greaser's Café Dance Contest, 1999

Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor, (Dr. Haing S. Ngor or Don Ameche)

Springfield Bowling Championship, 1996 (PinPals)

P.J. O'Harrigan's "Sir Drinks-A-Lot," 1999

Pulitzer Prize for Journalism, 2000

Springfield Olympic Mascot Contest,1999 (Springy)

High school reunion awards: "most weight gained," "most hair lost," "most improved odor," "oldest car," "lowest paying job," and for "travelling the least distance to get to the reunion," among others, 1993 (awards later withdrawn)



A few of these are not technically things Homer did for a living. But I found it to be a really fun list all the same.

I also watched a show tonight called The Venture Brothers, which is pretty new on Adult Swim. I meant to start watching it weeks ago, but I was out of town. Anywhoo, it was damn funny and gets my reccomends.

Hippie Jesus - He's your friend!
Hippie Jesus.
He likes to hang out with Chong,
consume mass quantities of organic foods, and
save baby animals.


Who's YOUR Personal Jesus? (with pictures)
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