wednes | Again with this crap:

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the crazy

Again with this crap:

I am feeling very depressed. That is how I know that I have actual depression and not just some kind of attitude problem. Life is pretty good, I have nothing substancial to feel bad about. Yet, I'd rather just check myself into the hospital than live my life.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I'm seeing the doc on Monday.

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I hope you feel better.

I know exactly what you are talking about.

your depressed because you live in Michigan.. it seems like everyone who lives here is depressed for no reason, well.. there is a reason, we live in Michigan, Michigan sucks.. am I right?

Anyway, sorry your feeling down, I hope someone is able to cheer you up..

Thank you.

I appreciate that. I feel like such a whiner, but I'm just sick as hell of feeling so crappy when I want to just get motivated and do things.

Actually, I'm sure that has a fair amount to do with it. The weather doesn't agree with me, not much serious art or theatre going on, even in Ann Arbor. And the last time I went to a friendly gathering, someone's girlfriend told a story using racial slurs. It sucked!

Hang in there. I'm tapering myself off my meds as we speak, and I'm fighting the creeping crippling crap myself.

Thanks, man.

Well at least you arent ignoring your symptoms and relize that you do have depression. I am glad you go to see your doc on Monday. Hopefully your weekend will improve.

Racial Slurs? what is up with that?

Force youself to write something. People can write badass stuff when they're depressed. Also, feel better, it sucks to feel like that.

It was crazy! It was the girlfriend of my buddy's brother. I had always thought she was a cool chick too; until she used the word "monkey" to describe a black guy who hit on her.

I was fucking shocked, I wanted to call her out in the rudest way possible, but it wasn't my house. I didn't want to start a whole big thing while a guest in someone's home. But I waited and later commented about H (who is black, FYI). Now I'm not sure I want them at my housewarming, but I am friendly with the whole family, and not sure what to do. On the one hand I'm appalled, and would never allow that kind of talk in my and H's home; and on the other hand, its not my job to make people not be rascist. I want to try to be tolerant of thier ignorance.

Thanks man. It's nice to be reminded that people care.

LJ rules like that, as do you.

Wow that is tough! I think it is kind of you to be tolerant of thier ignorance, but I can imagine it must also be very difficult. I have a neighbor who's husband isnt tolerant of people of different races. She says his whole family is like that. I can't imagine growing up that way!!!!!

Actually, my own parents made rascist remarks when they though they could get away with it. I come from violent, ignorant white trash...so when I hear things like that my first emotion is a kind of self-important pity for people without the sense to think like me.

At least that's what my pollack-bashing, jew-hating mother used to say...her husband didn't care so long as I didn't "bring any niggers in the house". In a way, its hard not to pity people that stupid and poorly socialized.

Wow, I am so glad the cycle ended with you becoming more tolerant and realizing we are all equal. A lot of times you see kids that have ignorant parents and they have ignorant kids (I lived in the south for awhile) I grew up most of my life in Southern California and most people I have even know there are from a biracial home or other ethniticity. So I thought that racism was something left in the past...Unfortunatly when we moved to Arkansas when I was 17 I was sorrily mistaken! I wonder when people will finally realize we are all one race the human race. But then I am preachin to the choir, you know what Im talkin about!

Yeah, it really can amaze one how much intolerance and ignorance there is in places which are otherwise very nice.

I know how you feel. We can't give up though.

♥

I'm glad you know you're depressed. It's OK to be depressed once in awhile but if it's cronic then you need to get it checked out (you're doing that, I know) so it's good that you're taking steps to work on it. I've suffered from Anxiety Disorders and stuff like that for as long as I can remember. I'm still wroking on it. It's also good that you're trying not to offend people and that you're trying to acept that the girl is ignorant. It's good that you are NOT ignorant. A guy I went to school with is sorta predjudiced. I used to hate him for it until I met his family. His dad TOTALLY hates people that arent' white and his mom goes along. A lot of Phil's ancestors were in the KKK. Cmpared to them, PHil's worlds better. I hope his kid's even LESS predjudiced so that eventually, they'll all be OK. I'd talk to the girl (if you can). Just nicely say that you were offended and that you didn't think she was like that.) Hopefully, she just made a bad choice and didn't mean it. Good luck with everything! :)

Hey Wednes. I sure hope you feel better. I've been feeling kinda crappy this morning (Fri Morn.) for no reason...I mean it's Friday, the allegedly happiest day of the week. Anyway, I'm sorry to hear you had to deal with that girl. She should take the time to get to know some interracial couples and then she'll realize that it's okay. Just spending a few minutes with you and H, and she'll be able to feel there is Love...granted I know you have occasional difficulties, like all couples, but shit, it doesn't have anythnig to do with skin.

I disagree. Michigan is a fine place to live. I find that I am most depressed when I feel a general lack of direction in my life. It seems people I know are the same way. Many of us are drifting through life aimlessly.

Yup! Arkanasa is gorgeous...land wise, and even lots of the people are great...it is just those few rotten apples.

At first I was thinking you should let her go to the housewarming party and say something off color and let your black friends kick her ass. But that would only fortify her resolve to be racist. So I was thinking what you really need is to get several black people who are clearly superior to her (Like H) complaining about ignorant white trash fools. And use her behavior as examples of behavior that shows them to be inferior. This girl clearly needs a lesson in humility.

Michigan is a horrible yet beautiful state, I love and Hate living here.. most people feel the same.

But I agree with you on the fact that most people have depression because they have no direction in life..

Thanks, sweetie!

Thanks Anne,

Our housewarming party is August 17th hopefully at the place we wanted...we still haven't heard. But do keep that day free, its a Sunday.

Thanks, man. See you later.

I don't know to whom you refer...

;)

I was replying to that nate guys comment.

and by the way, what is it with Michigan and racism?
I live up north, and im white.. and im one of the very few white people that sees racism and racial slurs/jokes as a bad thing.

imagine that, getting harassed for not being a racist.

I really am not angry about it, just surprised. I don't like to solve differences via ass kicking; and certainly don't want to offend Sonya or George.

However, I needed to be clear that such things are not permissible in our home.

;)

I know, and it can be really hard to figure out. I dated a guy for over a month who got drunk at a party and called my best freind a "nigger lover" after meeting her boyfriend.

I was mortified...as i had no idea. They should glow in the dark.

They should all be required to wear a black shirt with "RACIST" in white print. You know, like the child abusers wear these days.

Yeah, I've seen that. It's a good idea...

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