10 Fictional Characters YOU want on your offensive zombie team:
It's no secret that more people than ever are planning for the zombie apocalypse. I know plenty of people who spend more time developing a zombie defense plan than planning for college, retirement, or what they'd do if they won a million dollars. You've probably thought about which of your favorite fictional characters from TV and films you'd want fighting off the undead with you. I don't just mean fighting with Ash or Alice or the guys from Shaun of the Dead. I mean how characters who have never even seen a zombie before would handle them—surely you've thought about it?
What? You haven't? Well, that's just weird. Luckily, I took the time to make a list just for you, in no particular order:
--Ellen Ripley: It is well established that Ellen Ripley knows how to stay calm and kick ass during a crisis. Better still, Ripley actually follows the regulations designed to keep catastrophes from happening. With minimal training and equipment, she fights her way through three fantastic Alien films…and then another one. She exhibits proficiency with weapons, strategic defense skills, loader driving (believe me, it's more useful than you think), and a general ability to keep her wits about her. Ripley is a must-have for zombie situations. Best of all, she has a strong moral center that will keep her from murdering you, no matter how egregiously you screw her over.
--General Maximus Decimus Meridius: (Gladiator, to his enemies) This guy is a fighter. Close combat man, he's got it covered. Sword work will prove invaluable during a zompocalypse, and nobody is better trained than an old-school pre-gunpowder sword swinging gladiator. Equally valuable to the sword, a properly wielded shield can make all the difference. As a soldier, Maximus is acclimated to going for long periods without food or water. Anybody who can fast for days and still beat up a tiger is someone I want on my team—even if he is husband to a zombified wife and son.
--Legolas: If you're going to incorporate an archer into your team, and Green Arrow is otherwise engaged, you can't do much better than the Elf known as Legolas. He is, as they say, peerless. If it happens that you need to kill a specific zombie from very far away—Legolas can oblige. So look out, zombie-Jay-Leno and undead-Rosie-O'Donnell, or the elf guy will um…arrow you. As you can see in this pic, Legolas takes zombie fighting pretty seriously.
--Yu Shu Lien: Perhaps you don't remember her name, but when I mention Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, she is the first thing that comes to mind. An amazing fighter, fiercely loyal, she will make a fine addition to any zombie fighting force. When you're forming your zombie attack team, consider that these may end up being the people who survive to repopulate the earth. We can't have all of humanity descend into a seething pool of homliness. For every funny-looking Legolas, you're going to need someone attractive to balance him out. With that in mind, Yu Shu Lien is a big WIN.
--The Bride: A roaring rampage of revenge is nothing to mess with, especially when it comes in the form of one of the deadliest women on earth. While any of the Five Deadly Vipers would be handy in a battle with the undead, only The Bride can be trusted not to stab you in the back…or shoot you in the head. Anyone who's seen her battle with the Crazy 88's knows that Beatrix Kiddo is more than ready to take on the horde.
--Jason Bourne: Hero of books and films alike, Jason Bourne is an unstoppable fighting machine. Well-versed in multiple kinds of combat, skilled in breaking in and out of places, hotwiring and driving any number of conveyances, Bourne has it all. So what if he doesn't always know who he is, who he was working for, or why so many people are trying to kill him? What he lacks in cohesion, he more than makes up for in hunkiliciousness.
--Sayid Jarrah: Speaking of attractive and deadly fellas, Sayid Jarrah is definitely welcome on my team. While it seems that nearly every character on LOST was an awesome shot and knew how to knock someone out with one blow (without killing them—amazing!), Sayid had so much more. The guns, the training, the electronics, mechanics, breaking that guy's neck with both hands tied behind his back—is there anything Sayid can't do? **sigh** He can't find happiness, but that doesn't make him any less valuable in a zombie infestation situation.
--Mace Windu: Despite succumbing to the most infuriating death in all of Star Wars, Mace Windu is a total badass—even compared to other Jedi Knights. One of the last Jedi Council members to support the Galactic Republic, Mace Windu's fight scenes are as legendary as his mastery of The Force. If there's a better weapon to fight hordes of undead than a light saber ™ this will be the first I've heard of it. And if you have your choice of Jedi Knights, there's no reason not to choose the Master of the Order.
--Sarah Connor: As everyone knows from the first Terminator movie, there were a couple of Sarah Connors. I refer here to the one who lived long enough to bring John Connor into the future with the help of the Governor of California. The one who became the fightingest single mom in American history. Sarah Connor is highly trained, in top physical condition, and it completely unafraid to die. She may not live forever, but you can bet she's gonna take down a crapload of zombies before she goes out. She's in!
--Professor John Frink: As a Simpsons fan, I wanted to bring at least one Springfieldian along for the zombie-infested ride. But who? Surely none of the actual Simpsons. Only Lisa wouldn't be a seriously liability, and the zombie apocalypse is no place for an 8-year-old girl. Snake is untrustworthy, Flanders won't want to shoot anything, Wiggum is a joke. No…Springfield's only hope against undead invaders is Professor Frink. Only he will be able to invent something fantastically clever enough to defeat them all in a single episode. There's no telling what kind of undead shenanegans might necessitate a frog exaggerator, hamburger ear muffs, a sarcasm detector, or flubber—but with Frink on your side, your team will be ready.
Hon Mention: Galactus. I'm not exactly sure how one gets Galactus on your side. But if you can manage it, he would be, if nothing else, a solid Plan B in your zombie contingency plan.
This post is to discuss my favorite (non Bill Paxton, obvs) character on Agents of SHIELD, Leopold Fitz. We know him as one-half of Fitz-Simmons, or as simply: Fitz.
( Cut so you don't get spoiled up. )
My old webcam was not really of TV quality, so I ordered a better one from Amazon. Even though I have Prime, and paid $9 extra, it didn't arrive when it was supposed to. In fact, it arrived today (the day after the interview). Thanks for the shipping refund, and for adding to my stress, AMAZON PRIME.
I was fortunate to be able to borrow an excellent camera. They told me they'd send the questions ahead of time, so no worries there. Some of my FB peeps had already done the show, so I knew I wouldn't be able to see the video of Thom as he asked me the questions.
Turns out, I didn't get the questions before hand. The first two things he asked me, I had no idea. I made some shit up. Then I babbled through the rest of the questions, occasionally forgetting to look directly into the camera.
I haven't actually watched the interview yet, but all my buddies said I did great. What are they gonna say, right? By today, a bunch of people on Twitter were making fun of me. Of course, Twitter is second only to 4Chan in the frequency and acidity of cruel comments. Anyway, here it is:
The important thing is, I didn't throw up.
So many terrible, phoning-it-in performances.
Dean Norris is so ridiculous, they might as well give him a mustache to twirl.
A pretty girl literally fell out of the sky.
As many of you know, fanfic is a tricky issue for me. I loathe the idea that yahoos can take the work of a good author, and add a bunch of crazy crap to it just so people who like it can have "more." Often, fanfic authors do this without the consent of the author or publisher--which is terrible IMHO. This show watches like terrible fanfic, written by people who don't give a rat's ass about the source material, or the man who wrote it.
But...Stephen King actually participates in the show. He wrote S2 E1, which wasn't even very good. He's apparently cool with his well-developed characters totally losing focus--I mean every week losing focus, not simply that they're different from the book. I can't understand it. I really can't.
I review it every week. So far, it's very rare for someone to actually defend the show. Can anyone defend this show? I honestly want to know how it's possible to like it, especially if you've actually read the book.
Summer also used to be a barren wasteland for TV. This summer I'm reviewing Under the Dome (which sucks) and hate-watching the last season of True Blood, because closure.
However, Defiance is back and awesome. Maron has been great, and now we're watching Extant (the Halle Berry future thing) and The Strain (a vampire thing written by Guillermo Del Toro) and Falling Skies. H is also watching something called The Last Ship, and Dominion, plus I'm watching The Leftovers, which has been amazing so far. Jon Simm has a new show starting soon, which we're gonna watch the crap out of.
That's an awful lot of TV for summertime.
I'm finally re-setup with PayPal here, which I love.
My Adam Ant autobiography finally arrived today. Can't wait to dive into it, because mentally odd people tend to be equally frustrating and fascinating. I don't invite many people like that into my life anymore, so reading about them in well-written books is a joy.
Got a few projects going on right now, but can't actually post about them yet. The mag is going well, and this months issue has some particularly strong content. Loving my feature writers, and really wishing I could afford to pay them.
During Season 4, HBO decided to release a giant book spoiler on their website. I don't mean for something readers know about because they've read all the books. I mean things that haven't been put into the books yet--only hinted at. Want details? Clicky here!
With that in mind, you can imagine my dismay at the Game of Thrones spot HBO On Demand has been showing. It has Jon Snow sitting in the Iron Throne, juxtaposed with a shot of Daenerys looking all queenly. Of course, that is the dominant fan theory about how this thing is going to end. Was HBO really foolhardly enough to let that slip as well? Sure, it's possible that HBO is just playing into the fan hype. Honestly though, they aren't usually that witty about things. And in all frankness, I don't trust them anymore.
Have you seen True Blood since Alan Ball left? However much money he wanted, they should have just given it to him.
I love him in stuff, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is damn near a masterpiece. And The Cable Guy is a brilliant film commercially ruined by the dumb expectations of douchebags.
He tells a great story that I couldn't find on YouTube about his audition for SNL, which of course, he did not get. As he was arriving at the NBC building, someone was standing on a tall floor threatening to jump to their deaths. A crowd of people on the ground was divided, some yelling "NO" and some yelling for him to jump. Carrey was totally shaken when he arrived and asked if he could have a minute to calm down. They basically said "No, man. It's a live show. We don't always have a minute for you to calm down." I see their point and all. But I still wish we'd gotten Jim Carrey as a regular on SNL.
I finally watched The Truman Show tonight, after people telling me for years that I need to. I don't think I've ever disliked characters played by Laura Linney or Ed Harris so much. Well, Linney was a vile person in The Laramie Project, but she was slightly less evil than this. What a beautiful film. I wanted it to keep going after it was over--but that, of course, would have negated the larger message.
I searched for half an hour to find that SNL vid where Jim Carrey plays Jimmy Stewart busting on Jim Carrey. It's listed all over the place, but none of them actually play. Frown.
Before the show aired, I went ahead and ordered the Penny Dreadful Tarot from the Showtime store. Their Dexter stuff is of good quality, so I figured these would be cool. By the by, you can get Penny Dreadful Tarot readings Here. They are silly.
First off, the Penny Dreadful tarot is smaller than a typical deck, though larger than a playing card deck. 2.75" x 4.75" They are purple with line drawings, and no other color. I don't have any other decks like that, so that's neat. If you're wondering, these are the other decks I have:
HR Giger (Major Arcana only)
and now this one, the Penny Dreadful tarot.
The major arcana cards are interesting, if not particularly true to the original symbolisms.
( I'm gonna cut the pics since they're kinda big )
The so-called face cards are unique and cool also. I just don't think I could ever actually read with this deck. But then, I don't read with the Giger deck either. I have it because it's utterly badass, and was a gift from an old friend.
What I think is cheap though, is the number cards. Each suit has one card design, with the symbol added to match the count. So the II of Cups is the drawing with two cups. The III of Cups is the same drawing with one more cup...and so on through 10.
( Here they are )
So yeah, they aren't bad. They aren't very expensive, so I think the Penny Dreadful tarot deck can be a fun little treat. But don't expect to actually read anything with it. The good news? After a slow beginning, Penny Dreadful is kicking ass and has every indication of being a top-notch show.
You don't need to be clairvoyant to figure out that Agents of Shield will be back for another season. There's also gonna be a spinoff, and it's not the wacky adventures of HYDRA. Too bad.
Larry Wilmore has been tagged to be Stephen Colbert's replacement. Obviously, it will be a new show, a scripted panel show that I imagine will attract plenty of great guests.
Community was cancelled.
That's some bunk ass bullshit.
Unless Abed gets a spinoff. Then I'll be okay.
Penny Dreadful starts on Sunday. Yeah, I could have watched it early, but I'm a fan of ephemerality and like to pretend TV has some left. I'm hoping it's not just a riff on American Horror Story, but it sort of looks like it. I like the combination of literary characters (Dr Frankenstein, Dorian Gray, Mina Harker), and the cast is strong. I'm reviewing it, so hit me up on Geekbinge if you're watching.
The Maron premiere was fantastic. It's amazing how much I like the show, when I'm confident that I would not like Mark Maron if I ever met him.
Delighted to see that the FCC's internet has been slowed down to modem levels. Not sure how much impact that will have since they're probably all using their tablets and phones with 3G or 4G. Still, fuck those guys.
In not-TV related news, few things depress me as much as seeing a family member post anti-fat hate on their Facebook--and then realizing that they're raising a daughter. You'd think people would want to create a better world for their kids, free from stigma and hate. Okay, maybe that's not possible, but mark my words--that poor kid will be dieting for weight loss long before she's a teenager. Gross.
Friday's Pics continues to be fun and well enjoyed. Apparently I've inspired some youngsters to watch better movies. Yay!
I'm not posting a pic, but I did get an awesome haircut. It's nice and short in the back and almost chin length in the front. Nolas Underground Salon is def my new hair place. Dani is a hairgician, and everyone should see her. I'd never waited 10 days to see a hairdresser before, but she was totally worth it.
Bates Motel had a few slow episodes toward the middle of the season, but it's wrapping up with a vengeance. I'm beginning to wonder if this won't be the season Norma gets it. Game of Thrones is progressing nicely, and I'm pretty stoked to start reviewing Penny Dreadful on Showtime.
I'm pretty sad that Colbert Report is ending.
But John Oliver starts this week.
Sunrise, sunset. LOL
Have 3 more stories to edit for the June issue. I'm still figuring out how aggressively to edit these stories. Some need very little, while others need much more--which is expected, obvs. I worry though, when authors get pissy about edits, that maybe I'm being too slashy with my metaphorical red pen. Thing is, I very rarely press for a specific edit. My edits are plentiful sometimes, but they're always given as suggestions. I suppose if I always give authors the option of accepting or rejecting each change (Thank you, MSWord), I'm not being "a tyrant" even if I make a zillion edits. Yes, someone has actually called me a tyrant, while another asshole decided that going over my edits was too time intensive, and went on to lecture me about time being valuable and him putting "all the time in on this story" that he intended to. WTF really? I found that so pretentious I thought the guy might have been punking me. But he didn't say shit when I took him out of the payroll.
H is starting physical therapy on Monday. I worry, because H doesn't do medical stuff well. But he fell and hurt his arm, and it still hurt 3 weeks later, so he has to. At least it won't be crazy expensive. Our insurance covers a lot more now. Plus, we'll be out all day Monday at appointments so I'm making a broccoli cheese soup in the crock pot. So pleased to have a nice crock pot since my old one was a total crapshack.
Decided not to watch Fargo after all. I don't really have time for a new show. Plus I heard they don't have a Marge Gunderson. I call bullshit on that.
Have you seen this Jimi Hendrix biography where Bootsy Collins reads Jimi's bio in the first-person? It's badass.
Game of Thrones has been pretty good so far this season.
Let the bodies hit the floor, amirite?
Jon Snow: "I've always wanted to be a ranger."
Samwell Tarly: "I've always wanted to be a wizard."
*both men laugh*
Samwell Tarly: *says some stuff he learned from books*
Gilly Craster: "You know all that, just from staring at marks on paper?"
Samwell: "Yes, I suppose so."
Gilly: "You're like...a wizard."
Sam loves Gilly even more because she sees him the way he wishes he was. Of course, he's also brave as fuck and has no idea. I love Samwell Tarly, even though he's sort of a copy of Samwise Gamgee.
That's why she's inviting people to go there. That's why she was grilling meat when they arrived. That's why she's played by Denise Crosby--because as far as I know, she's only played one non-asshatted character ever.
In other news, I'll be really happy when people stop trying to get Stephen Colbert fired. If one tweet by someone who isn't even him as convinced you that he's nothing more than a hateful bigot who deserves to have his platform taken away, I daresay that you could stand to clean your loop a bit better before turning on your TV. And if you haven't even seen the episode, kindly STFU until you do. No uninformed opinions plz.
Yes, people have a right to be offended at things they don't like. When shit offends me I usually have plenty to say about it. Nobody is being "too sensitive," IMO, and people trying to silence this woman are being just as myopic as she is.
But--not only was the tweet a reference to earlier mocking of racial insensitivity, but it wasn't even written by SC himself. Sure, people have every right to be offended, even outraged, if that's what their misunderstanding of the situation leads them to believe. That doesn't make it true, or reflective of Colbert's intentions.
A few people have explained to me that intentions don't matter if people('s feelings) are being hurt. This is where you lose me. If everyone who uses a certain word is always a certain way--aren't George Carlin and Lenny Bruce also total racists who "don't care about the pain they inflict?" If intentions don't matter, why do people want hate crime laws. NOTE: I do not support hate crimes legislation--not because I think hate crime is awesome, but because I think we should punish people for their actions, not their thoughts.
Hurt feelings necessitate an apology, and perhaps further discussion that leads to greater understanding on both sides. Trying to silence those with whom you disagree--instead of making your case and engaging in fair discussion--is just pointless posturing, just competing to be the Decider.
Maybe we could entertain the idea that we don't necessarily have to get people fired every time they do or say something we don't like. I've worked enough fast food and customer service jobs to know first-hand how much people LOVE to get others fired or reprimanded for doing something they don't like--whether it's not giving away free food undeservedly, saying a word that makes us cringe, or the terrible crime of not smiling. Wanting swift and crippling revenge against people we disagree with is petty, malicious, and an ineffective way to manage hurt or bring about social change. Do we really think all of TV would be better without Stephen Colbert? I don't see how...
Been trying to get up at a more reasonable hour, lay off that stuff I like, and just generally be less of a recluse. But people suck. I mean, I believe that people are basically good, and that if we take the time to get to know most people--we'll have more understanding and all that there. Internet-wise though, people are assholes. I got so annoyed with someone this morning I told them they had sand in their vagina. Not something I would normally do.
I've always been more of a night person than a day person, and I'm wondering if it might be because day people are jerks.
Was gonna watch Those Who Kill since I still have the first 2 eps on my DVR. Alas, it's already been pulled from the schedule. Sorry, Chloe.
Been waiting for a phone call about a job for the last hour and a half. They gave me a 1-hour window, so I'm irked that I'm still waiting. Plus, I have to call Uverse. Curious to find out why they think we should pay them $193 a month for slow internet and sub-par cable. At least Comcast has an awesome product to go with their awesomely huge rates.
The mag now has a movie reviewer and a book reviewer. Hoping to find a video game writer. You'd think it would be easy, given how many gamers I know. It's not though. *sigh*
I'm glad I don't actually know anyone in RL who thinks their religious liberty depends on being able to legally discriminate against gays, or anyone really.
Not linking to it, but Zack Snyder seems to think he directed Watchmen to "save" it from the Terry Gilliam's of the world. Fuck you, dude. Even if Terry Gilliam stopped making films after The Fisher King, he'd still be a goddamn genius.
Did everybody see my Seattle PI article about horror and perspective?
I do not support sending troops to the Ukraine, no matter what kind of shenanigans Putin is getting up to over there. Might be a non-issue though. Wait, do they have oil? I'm sure that will make all the difference.
Bates Motel comes back tonight. I'm reviewing it.
I was interviewed for Women in Horror Month, at long last!
Pasta for dinner, with tons of capsecum, mushers, and ground pork. Unusual for us to eat ground pork, but H does most of the shopping now--so I ain't complainin'
We're finally gonna watch Thor 2 so we know what the heck is happening on Agents of Shield tomorrow.
Shockwave Flash, I hate you. Chrome for mac, you're really starting to suck.
House of 1,000 Corpses is a better remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre than the actual remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Most horror remakes are shitty. A few are great:
Dawn of the Dead
The Hills Have Eyes
Red Dragon (original title: Manhunter)
Some are pretty good
Last House on the Left
Night of the Living Dead (Savini)
I wouldn't say these are definitive list, but those are the ones that come to mind. I also really need to have a lot more Pixar movies. As I was thinking that, Disney sent me a thing to join their movie club. H doesn't have a copy of Avengers, which he totally should. I need a copy of Up, and would like to have Monsters Inc and Wreck it Ralph.
Found out tonight that the head writer from The Daily Show has left to work on John Oliver's new show. This bodes well for Oliver, and HBO, and us viewers. I imagine TDS writing staff is solid enough that this won't be an issue that makes it all the way to us.
We buy each other stuff we wouldn't normally buy.
I got H:
A spinny top that works with a string
chinese finger trap
Star Trek Next Gen Pez dispenser box set
Tee fury T-shirt with every Doctor on it.
Onion hardback front page collection
2 pr satin boxer shorts
He got me:
Doctor River Song sonic screwdriver
box of dark chocolate hazelnut truffles
Whole Foods hazelnut coffee creamer
smoked hazelnut gelato (outrageous!)
organic choco hazelnut spread (that is NOT nutella)
2 packs of Nathans hot dogs because we love them and only one store in the area actually sells them. Woot!
So yeah, that was nice.
Most of our peeps got cards and homemade lip balms.
Always well received and appreciated, so far.
We also got a big tin of cookies and a pumpkin bread from my Aunt, and another bag of yummy treats from my old college pal who visited today.
We also watched Doctor Who, which I haven't reviewed yet but will.
Well, all that has left me with very little time or energy to write fiction.
This will not do...
I fully intended to NaNoWriMo that script I keep talking about. Guess what though? I didn't do it. Part of that was time related. Another part was that if I get a lot of work done, and make a reasonable amount of money--I feel enough sense of accomplishment that I don't feel like I need to do anything else on a given day. That's a BIG part of the problem.
I intend to scale back on GeekBinge reviews. They are enormous fun, but don't pay shit. Worse, they just aren't getting the play that they should be. Maybe they are too long? I won't be scaling back for a few weeks though. Mob City starts tonight and I'm totally covering it even though it's the same night as American Horror Story: Coven.
Got a new gig this week, writing reviews of non-fic books that I get for free. Yeah...they had me at free books.
So yeah, the next thing I write should be that screenplay for SyFy. I'll have to find an agent just to shop that, which will probably be really hard. But I have no excuse for not writing it. I just haven't been pushing myself as hard as I could have--unless catching up on four seasons of Community counts as pushing myself. I strongly suspect that it does not.
After the script is done and shopping for an agent begins, I should finish that short story I started for an antho that I never subbed it to. Yeah...
But then, I should really look through my pile of half-finished novels and see which one I should pull out and work on. What to do About Franklin has some promising characters. It was an attempt to write something with the scope, humor, and gruesome shit as a Christopher Moore Pine Cove book. The main lesson I learned that I shouldn't bother trying to emulate other writers. Mainly because, fuck that shit. Also, I would hate it if anyone tried to write like me on purpose. I'm so damaged emotionally that when I see that people are trying to get on my good side, it makes me think less of them. As in the popular Simpsons phrase You WOULD like me, Loser!
There's that other book with a title so lame I can't even remember it right now. That one is about 50,000 words deep (duh, it began as a NaNoWriMo) and is about a damaged woman in love with her hot hot boss. I know, right? That one has two different first-person POVs which is just so like me.
( Under here is a giant pic of me hours after my last birthday, wherein I turned 43. You can totally see how awesome my hair color is. )
Ya'll should come if you're in the area.
Key & Peele. Those guys are so smart and hilarious, I don't even get bent out of shape when Jordan wears a fat suit. From me, that totally means something since I went off on Jon Stewart for wearing one.
Also, I got my eye on you, Jay-Quellin!
My fam. Seeing my brother on a regular basis is awesome. Bummed his new GF can't come to my party because I would love to meet her.
I'm enjoying how many people are finally realizing how fucked up our current minimum wage is. That's right, people with full time jobs shouldn't be below the poverty line--especially if they're only supporting themselves, or themselves and one child. That said, yes, most families do require two incomes. If your wife has a job and you don't--fucking find yourself a gig, you lazy bastard.
Sorry to digress, that was for one person in particular.
Work. Even when various assignments are brain-breakingly terrible, I still LOVE being able to earn money by writing and editing from home. That is my life's dream, though I did think I would also have a house. Ah well...guess you can't have everything, amirite?
American Horror Story: Coven. I adore you. You are my favorite American Horror Story yet, which is huge considering last year's themes were insanity and mental health "treatments." And I've always been a fan of killer Santa Clauses--ever since Larry Drake in Tales from the Crypt. I still need to buy all these seasons. Would you believe I don't have a single one?
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Tech-wise, I'm still having a rough time with the mag. Converting my beautiful layouts to epub and mobi files is sucking my life dry. Gotta work on that this weekend when I'm done writing boring SEO and fascinating Kinkly stories.
I'm pretty pleased with my new Website. It's pretty nice and lets me show off more stuff. Stig & The Puppetman are slowly going up there, the podcasts are all there too, and the mag, and all my books, and links to everything else I'm up to. So that's cool. There's also gonna be a newsletter, once people sign up.
Holy Crap! I just saw that Anthony Wiener is being on Bill Maher tonight. That's crazy. Who gives a crap what that guy has to say anymore? Um, Wiener, I mean. Maher is also kind of a jerk though.
I downloaded The Conjuring so I can finally check that out. H is also done watching Fringe so we're gonna start buying eps of Torchwood--like I wanted to forever ago.
Comedy-wise, I'll be caught up with Community by the time it comes back in January. Only 13 eps in the next season. That's not nearly enough, because this show is hilarious and clever and I'm bummed I waited so long to watch. Abed and I should have been friends since years ago. Plus, how awesome is it that Chevy Chase plays an out-of-touch asshole? Classic.
I hate spending more than $10 for a Kindle book, but I did pay $12 for MaddAddam. See, I adore Margaret Atwood and this is the third in a trilogy. So far, awesome. I can't even get my head around how she makes the fantastic feel immediate and earthy, while taking vile characters and terrifying events and making them seem like they're being read to you in a flowery garden. I wish I knew what she was like in RL. I suspect if I had insight like that it would totally break my brain.
My new website should be live by the end of the week. The designer, my 2nd cousin I think he is, is doing a swell job. If our moms are cousins, that makes us second cousins, right? Anyway, it's a wordpress site with a slick new layout. It builds on a lot of the stuff I've been doing since my first site went up around 2009.
Mag issues continue to be awesome, while my skill at InDesign leaves me feeling like I should stick to crayons. I still can't figure out how to export issues to mobi or epub that people will actually be able to read. Fie. Is there a service where I can pay someone to come over and show me? There should be.
H and celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary on Monday. The actual anniv was Saturday, but of course H had to work. I got him a new watch, a bottle of ghost pepper hot sauce, and some sour cherry Turkish delight, because he loves those Narnia books. He got me a new set of wrist braces since my old ones were pretty sad. He also bought us dinner from Banditos, which is now my fave mexican delivery place in town. We liked Burrito Joint but their uncooked rice broke my tooth, so we ain't going back there.
H and I will have been together for 15 years in July--since we lived together for 7 years before we decided to get married in a year. Fuck. That is a long time for someone to put up with my crap. It's kind of unbelievable.
Maverick is out for mac computers. It's also free. Nice!
I desperately need a new computer, so I'm hoping to be able to do that by the end of the year. Wanna help? Subscribing to the mag is a good way to do that, while supporting small authors and artists. Or, you could just send a macbook pro to my place, and I could open it and use it. ;-]
Despite the formulaic season structure on Dexter, and despite the fact that we went through this season surrounded by pivotal characters we barely knew--I thought the finale was beautiful and tragic. I liked it very much.
That said, Dexter pales in comparison to other things on TV...now. I don't know what genius at Showtime decided to run the Dexter finale the week before the Breaking Bad finale, but that was a terrible choice. And it didn't just work out that way--it was planned. Dexter was moved ahead over a month from when it normally airs, so I don't get that at all. Speaking of Breaking Bad. Damn...this shit is getting really sad. Maybe crime doesn't pay?
With S1 Under the Dome behind us, I'm starting to review Hostages tonight. I hope I didn't choose wrong, because we watched the Sleepy Hollow premiere last week and it was pretty good. I don't even think GeekBinge is covering that, which is a drag.
Speaking of good, Boardwalk Empire has been kicking ass.
In Under the Bed news, the EiC and I made the choice to skip a month of the mag so we could have a regular release schedule. This is due to some weirdness at B&N and some other crap I didn't really want to worry about. So what was Undead September is now our October issue. November will be full of monsters. For December, I really want to put the Krampus on the cover. I'm hoping someone will come through with a drawing. *eyes you artists*
You can beat the rush on our awesome zombie issue by subscribing before it comes out. Here is where you'd do that. It's only $1.99 a month, or even less for a whole year--$19.99. Every month you get at least five awesome short stories along with features (*ahem* porcelain72), reviews, interviews, and my own snarky commentary. How can you resist, and why would you want to?
We have Wreck-it-Ralph on the DVR.
If H won't watch it with me, I'm going to punch him.
I wish I had a boxing glove. I'm not a very hard puncher.
( with some spoilers. )
I love The Newsroom. It harkens us back to a simpler time with independent sources and verified facts. A time when people actually gave a shit about the difference between news and entertainment. It reminds me of when I got out of college with my journalism degree ready to tear Detroit a new one--and then our newspapers went on a strike that lasted more than three years.
When they invited me, and I said yes--I thought that meant they were having me on. It didn't.
It meant that the producer I talked to was interested in having me on, which is the first of several steps to actually going on.
Turns out, someone associated with the show became available and I was bumped--you know, because I'm not that more qualified to talk about feminism, Skyler, BB, and women in TV in general--than the average smart person who pays attention to stuff.
Anyway, I thanked them for thinking of me and let them know that Dexter is ending in a few weeks and I'm totally available to talk about America's love affair with murderers. I'm infinitely more qualified to talk about that.
I wasn't even finished being bummed about it when I was approached by my editor at Kinkly for a new project that will make me monies and be tons of fun.
Also, the Kindle I got my brother for his birthday has arrived. I'm resisting the urge to open it and check it out. I'm also giving him a drive with a zillion books on it. Because my brother is awesome.
I could do that.
One might even argue that with my love of monster-movies, sharks, and horror--with my wit and dark sensibilities, and my passion for good dialogue that I'm incredibly well suited to this sort of work.
I have some awesome ideas, but I'm not posting them here.
Someone with an agent would totally steal them.
It seems that prestigious film scripts like Sharknado, Piranhaconda, and Ice Spiders can ONLY come to the SyFy Channel via an agent.
Yeah, those cheap-ass, underwritten CGI crapfests that I love so well have all gone through agents.
Is anyone else picturing a Saul Goodmanesque agent extoling the virtues of mixing dangerous animals with weather or other dangerous animals to make a boob-filled teen romp that only the SyFy channel would air?
In other news, aside from not really having the voice for it, I think Ben Affleck will be just fine as Bruce Wayne/Batman
Literary types, do you think the submission numbers would go way down if I insisted on no simultaneous subs?
Is that something I should be insisting on considering that we don't pay pro rates yet?
Not sure how to proceed, but I do know that it's frustrating as hell to accept a story, plan out an issue, and then see the work get withdrawn--especially if I've already edited it.
I'm inclined not to accept any submission from an author who does this. But I'm not sure if that's reasonable, or a sign of petttiness on my part.
(I wasn't going to tell anyone this, but I can be damn petty at times--Ha!)
In other news, tomorrow night is Ghost Shark.
If you're in the neighborhood and want to come by, it comes on at 9pm.
I also made chocolate chip bananna bread with pecans.
I've also been working on the mag, which is alternately awesome as fuck and frustrating as hell. I'm always a tad bemused when grown-ass adults behave like cliquish junior high schoolers in work situations. Seriously? I mean, Really?!?
Undead September is gonna be a badass issue. Having said that, I don't foresee doing a theme issue again any time soon. I'd much rather keep people guessing while avoiding tropes. Tropes piss me off. The only thing worse than following tropes is deliberately doing the opposite of what the trope would require. Predictability is the death of the scare--and if I ever meet Rob Zombie in person, I just might have to tell him that if he's still in the room when I wake up from swooning.
If I wrote a book about my experiences thus far as an editor, it would be called:
Too Many Commas:
My Love Affair with the Backspace Key
People use too many commas.
John Oliver is done hosting The Daily Show...for now. He slayed it, seriously. That guy is adorable, and it's clear that he is well-respected among his peers. Not only is he smart, clever, and really funny--but as soon as he had any pull in the industry, John Oliver immediately started showcasing other comics on a stand-up show. That's just awesome. I love that the Comedy Central late-night peeps seem like genuinely good people who aren't full of shit. We don't hear about them cheating on their wives, driving drunk or otherwise acting like assholes. As sad as it is that this is considered remarkable, I'm glad to know that there are media types who aren't scumbags--not even a little.
Here's a video about how HBO should show more dick that's not of the HODOR variety. Muchas Lulz.
Presumptions about strangers on the internet are amazing.
I find it especially funny because I pretty much put all my personal business right out there for the reading. Anyone who actually cared to get to know me could do so in short order--just by reading what's already posted.
But see...people aren't interested in getting to know you, especially when they're so busy judging you for daring to say something they don't like. I'm surprised they aren't telling my editor to fire me, lest they boycott the site. Ha!
It's funny mainly because we don't get all that much traffic, so the flaming was a big boost to me money-wise.
I later learned that apparently Vince Gilligan said this:
And with the risk of painting with too broad a brush, I think the people who have these issues with the wives being too bitchy on Breaking Bad are misogynists, plain and simple.
Which, I guess, gives douchebags the idea that by calling me a misogynist that they will become Vince Gilligan's best friend or something.
It seems like my editor took it much more personally than I did, because he really tried to defend me and the article--going so far as to write his own rebuttal article. His main point was that while he disagreed with my take on her, that calling me a misogynist is fucking stupid.
To my mind, saying that *I'm* what represents misogyny is an enormous misunderstanding of what feminism and misogyny actually are. That's over and above the fact that I'm about as misogynistic as I am racist, Christian, or homophobic...which is to say, not fucking much by half. You might as well say everyone who likes the show is a fan of both murder and blue meth.
Last night was movie night. We had a small but quality crowd, good food (Curt brought an amazing buffalo chicken dip that I want to bathe in) and a Burgess Meredith double feature. Foul Play followed by The Sentinel. Nice! There is polenta left over that I'll fry up for H, and a goodly amount of pina colada no-bake dealies that have no booze and are delicious.
Tonight is editing stories for the magazine, and maybe watching Savages. Tomorrow, of course, is a million TV shows. Dexter, Breaking Bad, and Newsroom. Woot!
EDIT: OMG, I'm totally getting flamed as a misogynist, being called names, and am told I fail to understand the point of the show. Amazing!
I'm incredibly busy for someone who barely leaves the house. Still doing all my usual SEO work. I have about a dozen SEO clients right now. I also write an article or two a month for Kinkly. Those articles tend to go bonkers online. I guess people on the internet like sex. Who knew?
Still reviewing Dexter (meh, so far) and Under the Goddamn Goddamn Dome or whatever it's called. I might as well make the title longer since they've got the nerve to give us a whole second season of that watered down claptrap. H hasn't read the book and he still says it's flat and absurd, and the dialog is clunky and most of the performances are stiff. Dean Norris is giving a stellar performance though. The totality of my snarky comments may be found at Geekbinge.
We're doing some Breaking Bad stuff to celebrate the new season. I'm doing an In Memoriam article with snarky commentary on everyone who died, and a short piece on why Skyler is the worst wife in the history of anything. Well, it's supposed to be a short piece. But she's awful, so it might get long and a little ranty. I'm caught up with the first half of Season Five, and am pretty stoked that they brought in Justin Louis. I love him! I was sad when he turned into a zombie that time.
And of course...the mag is going on. My experiences with theme issues thusfar has led me to conclude that there will be no more theme issues. I'd like to leave each issue as a grab bag where you never know what you'll get. We'll feature things in a way that has universal appeal among horror fans. Undead September is happening, and we've got some cool vampire stuff in the mix for October. Remember, vampires are villains, not fuck buddies.
Horror is a vast landscape and I don't want issues to be restricted to any one thing in particular. Submissions are slow at the moment. I'm hoping that once issues get out there and people see how badass the mag is, that will change. In the mean time, you might consider subscribing so as to get your hands on the horror. It's a mere $1.99 a month or $19.99 for a whole year. I'm not even sure how you could resist. You can't, can you? Besides, how will you review it if you haven't read it?
And finally, IT'S SHARK WEEK!!!
Granted, I liked Shark Week better when it was about shark conservation and the importance of not hunting apex predators to extinction. Now it's about how scary and bitey sharks are, and how high they can jump. I gotta confess, some of that leaping white shark photography is fucking awesome.
I mean, seriously.
Stonegarden.net Publishing is closing down today. This was the publishing house that sent me my very first acceptance letter for my very first novel, A Stabbing for Sadie (which was almost named "Tiamata"). That book is in the process of being released as a second edition. In fact, this very weekend I am going through it one more time. I was ambivalent about some tense issues and now I need to fix it. Anyway, publishing with SGP was great in many ways, and helped me learn a lot about publishing, about writing, and marketing, and how it was not very much like I thought it would be at all. I'm pretty happy to be with a new house with new editions, soon to have a new website and my very own horror mag.
I always had a vision of me sitting in a room with some brilliant editor type, discussing all the ways to make it better. That never happened though. Like a lot of things in life, that's something I imagine will happen to other people but never to me.
But then, I tend toward the melancholia.
Speaking of which, the finale of Marc Maron's show is on tonight. I'm a great fan of Maron, but I daresay it's different than the way I'm a fan of say, Jon Stewart or Carlin. I've been watching Jon Stewart since Mtv Spring Break. He's always seemed like a cool older cousin who knows where I can get some pot--and will sit down and talk to me if I'm sad because the older kids were mean to me.
Maron doesn't seem like someone I'd ever hang out with. He seems like the sort of guy like Jerry Seinfeld--who is way to self-conscious to enjoy hanging out with someone like me. I had a hot, hot boss like that once.
My hair is well on the way to awesome, color-wise. I bleached the hell out of it, becoming half a blonde after about 2 hour of Flash Lightening. I'm doing it up with a new blue and a lilac--which is not taking very well. I'm hoping this second round of color will absorb better and end up looking stunning. The trim I gave my own hair looks kinda shitty, but I'm not cutting any more until it grows out a little in the front.
First issue of my horror magazine is due July 4th. That means I'll have to accept all the stories by then, and notify the authors. I also have to finish Sadie edits in that time, write 8 new SEO articles, finish the last Stig & The Puppetman for a while, and do two TV interviews a week. Dexter starts back up on Sunday. That is, if you'll pardon the sexist expression, gonna be tits!
Like most people, I will remember him best as Tony Soprano. Soprano was an infuriating character that met a predictable end. But damn, I couldn't stop watching. Gandolfini has been great in lots of stuff, most notably as Juror #6 in Billy Friedkin's excellent remake of 12 Angry Men, and as Carol in the tear-jerking Where the Wild Things Are. When I had crazy mafia dreams about the Sopranos, James Gandolfini was always my dad. Take from that what you will, I guess.
As if that wasn't enough to be sad about, Stephen Colbert came back tonight with a tear-filled and touching memorial about his mom. She sounds like one of those super strong women who weathered a hard life and always looked on the bright side. Plus, eleven kids? Damn. It's sort of uncomfortable to hear Stephen speak as himself rather than the character. As a viewer, I really only hear that when he's on another news show or if something is wrong.
In non-sad news, Under the Dome starts on Monday. I'll be pretty disappointed if it's not totally badass. I saw a pic of Stephen King on the set. That certainly bodes well. Plus it almost certainly means he did a cameo. Woot! Don't forget, I'm reviewing it for GeekBinge.
Oh, how's the writing going? Funny you should ask:
It's weird, Maron feels like he's trying to get to the guts of some big emotional and personal issues. But the show almost watches like he doesn't hang out with enough crazy people that offer him perspective. But that's not possible, is it? After all, he's a comedian. They're all kinda nuts, right? Is it because men are just so terrible at communicating? Anyway, Marc Maron in coveralls looks like a depressed serial killer who can't remember where he left his chainsaw.
Speaking of depressing news, I was sad to hear that Stephen Colbert's mom died. Still, 92 is a pretty good run. I'll be lucky if I make half of that.
John Oliver is kicking ass on Daily Show, but I'm not sure I'm ready for the inevitable announcement that Jon Stewart will be leaving some day.
Moving on to Wednes-related things, I've been reading subs for the magazine.
Oh yeah, if you haven't heard:
Yeah, I'm not sure the complete extent of my duties yet. Should be meeting with my boss-type person soon and figuring out all the details.
My new website is progressing nicely. My cousin Richard is doing an awesome job with the design and colors and stuff. I think he is my second cousin, actually. Well, he's the son of my mom's cousin, whatever that is. It's a much more um...modern looking site that will feature blog snippets and recent Tweets, in addition to offering newsletter sign ups and all the stuff that was on my old site--like book excerpts and free audio stuff.
That'll be cool. Still waiting for KMLYLM audiobook to get approved and released. Also waiting for paperback version of The Finster Effect which I hope will be ready soon.
Now I'm largely caught up. Yay!
My VERY spoilery Game of Thrones review is here. I knew what was coming, and actually found it somewhat cartoonish and over the top for about half of the last scene.
Say, did you know you could follow me on Twitter for content you can't see here or on FB (but you CAN see it on LJ if you're over there)?
Add me, I am @WednesFri
I also have a Pinterest now. That site is pretty fun, I must say.
I play around over there now that Pet Society on FB is going away.
Yeah...that was money well spent.
Talking to someone about a job via G+ today. I've never had an interview via online chat before--though I assumed I would back in 2008 when I bought this computer. It's more of a gig than a job, but I'm stoked anyway.
Details later, if applicable.
I have a 70's movie party coming up. We're gonna watch Trilogy of Terror and Crowhaven Farm, the latter of which I have not seen since the actual 70's. I'm also gonna attempt a chocolate cheesecake. I'm not really prone to fancy baking, utilizing a bain marie, or even a springform pan. I'm not that great at baking, though I'm awesome at cooking.
We shall see...
That shit was incredible.
I don't know why everyone's always bitching about Moffat.
Game of Thrones was merely adequate this week. Joffery's dicketry is getting tired, and the whole show is marred by every scene being too damn short--and every character not getting enough screen time. If a book is 500 words longer than a previous book, why can't the season be one episode longer?
C'mon HBO, you're a friggin' gold mine. Don't cheap out on the fans.
Finally read Under the Dome. It was long. Also, it's one of those books that makes you hate people. It's very truthy. That's SK horror.
As long as I'm on the internet, I might as well tell you what we're having for dinner. I'm roasting gold potatoes and hunks of keilbasa with peppers and veggies. When it's done roasting, I'm gonna put a creamy horseradish sauce on it. It's gonna be SO tits!
Bates Motel finale tonight. Stooooooked!
So I'm stoked about that.
TV Reviews continue to be fun and good for exposure. The money is not great, but the writeoffs are awesome.
We watched Defiance, all they've showed so far. It was not bad. Derivative, but hell, what isn't? There are some future-Lannisters in it. Bright blonde hair, ruthless while pretending to be on the level, and inappropriate nakedness between family members. Mom, please put on something besides beads before you hug your kid. All I remembered was the door and weights, that there were witches, and that a girl a little older than me (at the time, I was probably about 11) was trying to steal a grown-up lady's husband. Amazingly, she was successful, which blew my mind as a kid.
For H, I got some Assassin's Creed game he had on his wishlist. He likes it, though he says he's "way behind."
Tonight I have two TV reviews--thank the gods The Following is finally ending tonight. I've had fun mocking it, and puzzling how Bacon and Purefoy could have thought this was good writing. *swoon* Purefoy...
It's so disappointing that such a promising show was SO terrible. I'm still digging Bates Motel. Both of the leads, Freddie Highmore and Vera Farmiga, give excellent performances. I expected the tacked-on brother to be a throwaway character, but he's also been interesting and good.
Reading Under the Dome so I can be in-the-know when the series comes out this summer--I'm totally reviewing that too.
When I first came up with the ideas for the site, I had no idea how important it was to have fresh content on the front page. My front page is static, and is a jumping off point to take people to other parts of the site where they can download pdf samples and podcasts, read reviews, contact page, bio, etc. But the front page doesn't change.
I need to move all the headings over to the left side of the page, and have my Twitter feed onto the other side. That way, there will be fresh content on the front page, and stupid bots won't think it's just sitting there doing nothing.
It seems like something I should be able to figure out. So far though, no luck. I need to find someone who can do this for me, preferably for a wage they'd be otherwise insulted to take. Well, not quite THAT low, but my budget is pretty tiny.
If you or someone you know is willing to take a stab at this, do let me know.
Also, if you haven't been already, do take a look at my TV reviews at GeekBinge. These days, I'm covering The Following, and Bates Motel. Coming up: Doctor Who and Game of Thrones.
Looks like Kiss Me Like You Love Me 2nd Edition is going live on Amazon as of this Monday. We're doing KDP Select for this one as well. There's a small chance that it will get held up slightly while a super famous and awesome writer reads it for review. But there's a larger chance that such will not happen.
I applied to a gig writing about movies, directors, etc. Lamentably, I attached an older version of one of my articles as a sample--and there's a giant glaring typo in the first goddamn sentence. That is sad, because it makes me look dumb-headed when I'm trying to look S-M-R-T. Why do I keep old drafts of articles? I don't know. That's why I went through fucking everything today and tossed out everything irrelevant to now.
Trying to make a few changes on the website. Like many publicity things I engage in, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. But I learned a few things recently and want to make the needed adjustments. Problem is, I know fuckall about web design aside from some basic html and MySQL. And again, that's the sort of thing you need real money to do. *sigh* Also thinking I might start promoting FB posts when stuff goes on sale, and for my book trailers. That reminds me, KMLYLM is gonna need a book trailer too. Fie.
FYI, this seasons TV review by me are as follows:
The Following S1 on FOX
Bates Motel S1 on A&E
Game of Thrones S3 on HBO
Doctor Who S7 on BBC America
Under the Dome miniseries on CBS (starting in June)
Dexter S8 on Showtime (also coming this summer)
Some of these are guaranteed awesome, and some are wait-and-see.
You may not even realize that you totally care what I think.
But you do...
Also reviewing Ripper Street and The Following. Ripper Street is shaping up to be really good. The Following is a couple of awesome actors doing their best with some preposterous and shitty writing. I liken Kevin Williamson's "dramatic surprises" to bird poop, in that they drop out of nowhere, with no real importance except to irritate the fuck out of you.
Plus, if everything I know about the FBI comes from watching TV, I shouldn't know way more about it than someone who is writing, directing, and producing a show that features the FBI prominently. Kevin Williamson doesn't know how to write dialogue for grown-ups either. It's also painfully, upsettingly obvious who the secret mole is.
The rest of this week is finishing the new Stig & The Puppetman, working on Millicent Mixter and a little bit of paid marketing work. I'm supposed to go get blood taken, but I keep not feeling like it. Plus, everyone outside is sick. Thinking I might watch this copy of John Dies at the End I scored. Then I can write a review of it.
Stumbled over an ad for a part-time day-job I'm looking in to, just because I think it would be enormous fun. It combines a cool combination of things I used to do, but only stuff I liked. Hint: I once worked for a magician.
I sort of wish I was good at video games. That new Aliens: Colonial Marines game looks pretty badass. I might get it for H so I can watch him play.
This leads me to believe that Twitter is an annoying sack of crap.
So yeah...there's that.
As usual, sociopolitical stuff is inescapable since I insist on hanging out on the internets. But I can't talk about guns any goddamn more. I was thinking about opportunity in America, and how lack of it creates hopelessness, which can intensify into fear and desperation. I lot of people feel like they have less opportunity than our parent's generation had. Less money, harder to buy a home, have to take jobs you don't like, etc. But some people think we have more opportunity, mainly because of the internet.
It used to be that when you met someone, you'd ask what they do. By that, you were asking what job they had--ie, what they did for a living. But now when I ask that, I'm asking the person what they actually do. Like, what's their art, their passion, what do they make. For way too many people, what they're passionate about has little to do with how they earn a living. So asking someone what their job is not only tells you very little about them--but it may also be sort of rude. More akin to asking someone how they pay their bills as opposed to actually learning something about who they are as a person.
Then I remember how damn lucky I am to be able to do what I like full time. I'm not just writing, I'm producing audiobooks and marketing for other companies and learning all this wild new stuff. That also frees me up to make comics and learn cooking stuff and review TV professionally. On that note: I want The Following to be awesome. I'll be hella bummed if it's not. Ripper Street also starts this week on BBC America. I'm poised to dig it. My bro is coming for lunch on Sunday, and I'm making eclairs. Well, I'm attempting to make eclairs. Difficult to say what I'll actually end up with.
Tonight I have 5 more marketing articles to write, plus the draft of my next article for Kinkly. I think I have a loose plot for the next Stig & the Puppetman. I have to get that drawn by tomorrow evening so H can scan everything in for me. Four chaps to go until A Stabbing for Sadie edits are done and can be sent to Mr Publisherman for the 2nd edition. Then, audiobooks go into production.
Been watching Breaking Bad for TV night on Sundays. We're half way through season two. It's great, just like everyone says. Still, his wife and her family are so awful. I'm surprised to be liking the DEA agent much more than the women. They suck.
It's true that I don't like a lot of things "everybody" likes. As far as I know, nobody likes everything that Everybody likes. Duh. Because "everybody" doesn't actually like it. Shit that's popular for a while often fades into the background and is completely forgotten about by people who swore they'd love it forever. BTW, that's also why there should be a waiting period for tattoos. So no, it doesn't really make sense to bust on someone for not liking something other people like. I actually find people who follow every goddamn trend no matter how stupid to be infinitely more irksome.
As I so often do, I wonder what it is that makes people say "You are wrong" instead of "I disagree." Why people have to assume that there's ignorance or stupidity afoot when there is dissent. A particular peeve of mine is when people say Oh, well if you read such-and-such by so-and-so, you'd agree with me as if I'm so malleable that the right book would instantly change my mind. Books are powerful, but not more powerful than the human mind. Not MY mind anyway.
In fucking stupid news, I'm mildly bummed that sweinberg never talks to me on Twitter. He posts twenty kajillion times a day, but totally snubs me. #drag We used to be such great pals, ten years ago on LJ.
If you want to read my Tweets, they crosspost to FB and LJ, but I don't know how to make them post here. Yeah, I'm sure you're bummed.
Have you seen the greatest thing to happen in the history of horror television?
No? Then by all means, feast your peepers!
If you're in the mood for an announcement, you should know that both A Stabbing for Sadie and Kiss Me Like You Love Me are getting shiny new complete audiobook editions. They'll be distributed by the good people at Audible dot com, through my publisher at Macabre Ink Digital and Crossroad Press. So there. My widespread popularity is imminent. So get ready for a bunch of trollish commenters to tell me my work Suuuuuuuxxxxx1!1!1!! Because that's what happens when you get famous. I look forward to people judging my entire existence based on a single Tweet or post, and perhaps assuming things about my life based on a single photo.
That's gonna be awesome! Luckily, I've already worked a ton of customer service, so I won't be surprised at the shitty meanness of the public at large.
Putting together a series of articles detailing my career in phone sex. Also did a review of...well, I'll post it once it's up. Let's just say, it's been a long while since I've been able to write off sex toys as a business expense. ;-]
Hope to have S4S edits done by next week so I can seriously draft and polish Millicent Mixter's Guide. Been writing that in sections that I have not put all together. Stig and the Puppetman continues to be awesome. These days, all the comics are 4 pages long. I'll have a book in no time!
Toward the beginning of November, my cousin Victoria sent me an Amaryllis bulb that was supposed to grow into a flower if I didn't kill it in the mean time. I read the instructions, and watered it a few times--fully expecting it to die long before it grew anything. A few days ago, H asked me if I'd seen my flowers (we keep plants in the only animal-free room we have--H's office). Sure enough, there were two giant flowers on it. A few days later, there were twice as many. Can you even imagine in? You don't have to, because look:
I put H's stocking gifts out last night. Only then did it occur to me that I didn't buy him any candy this year. Now I have to decide if I want to go out and get some. I'm pretty sure I don't, but we shall see. He's already getting some cool stuff. I got him a Bugs Bunny T-shirt, and another shirt from T-fury which is of the 10th Doctor Who. Plus a bottle of hot sauce and a 11th Doctor Who screwdriver that is an actual screwdriver. His stocking has new earbuds, paperback replacements of Alien and Aliens, astronaut ice cream, and some sticky notes with the TARDIS on them.
We got a juniper bonsai from Team Wilcox. If we can keep JoJo from eating it, it will be awesome. It's really cool looking, but I don't want to post a pic yet in case we kill it. Treated myself to a gift in the form of this highly recommended gadget for aromatherapy. What? It's therapy. It's aromatic. You wanna fight about it?
Dexter Retrospective should go up soon. I'm reviewing the first season of The Following (if it lasts a whole season, fricken FOX), and Ripper Street on BBC. I somehow managed to secure Game of Thrones reviews in March as well. Depending on my schedule, I may see about reviewing Bates Motel as well. So that will be fun.
Happy Solstice, kids!
The Dexter finale was okay, but didn't settle much.
Gave H his birthday pressies last night since he's working on his actual birthday.
A Phillies T-shirt
Doctor Who Illustrated Dictionary
Dead Island for PS3.
Funnily enough, Dead Island instructions and characters read almost exactly like Left 4 Dead. Don't gamers get sick of that?
Finished 3 flavors of lip BLAM (peppermint patty, cherry cordial, lime in the coconut) and then ten 1oz pots of chest rub. It's gonna say on it Zom-Balm. "A shot to the head...cold." Hahahahahahaa! Gonna make a few cakes or cookies and send them out to fam with the balms. Cool, eh?
I am thankful to be doing the writer thing for reals. I write for my living, and I write books. I have a little side income from fun writing like interviews and TV reviews. I'm making comics and editing my own book trailer together. Once I have 120 pages or so of Stig and the Puppetman Imma totally get that shit published as its own book.
It's amazing to me that I have second editions coming out. I'm blown away by the fact that I'm making actual money from books I've written. It still seems more like an impossible fantasy than something I have to get done before the end of the month. If that makes any sense.
I am thankful to have family in my life, which is not something I'm known for saying. Years of reconciling the "loss" of a family made me forget how really awesome some of those people are. I got a cool sparkly pink card from my favorite aunt (who is also my godmother). You have to remember someone's birthday at least a week in advance, and then go get them a card, find a goddamn stamp...it's a whole friggin' ordeal to get a card to someone a few days before a birthday.
Plus, you know, I've got that brother I think is pretty cool. Not sure if he's coming to the par tay on Saturday, but I hope so. Looks to be a fun crowd this year. Glad to be keeping the menu simple--but yummy. Prepare for toom, peeps! (no, I don't mean toom-flavored peeps, because that would be nightmarish)
I also got a birthday card from my insurance agent, and my alma mater. My alma mater seems to think I can afford to do a lot more donating than I'm actually doing.
As usual, what I'm most thankful for is H.
My husband is my perfect match.
So yeah, I've got the kind of life that blows my mind with goodness.
Speaking of blowing my mind with goodness, I made this: