wednes: (Irate typist)
I have a terrible track record when it comes to media and popularity. What I mean is, some of the new shows I hear about...I think are the most disgusting and offensive ideas ever. And then they become huge hits:

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (stereotype much)
The Biggest Loser (surely people know that's unhealthy and fake)
Storage Wars (strangers fight over cherished possessions of poor people)
American Idol (mostly that beginning part where they mock sincere people)
Dancing with the "Stars" (who the hell cares if Ben Nye can dance?)

That doesn't even get into reality shows that exploit families with any sort of unusual traits. Too fat, too skinny, overwhelming amounts of kids, poly, weird religions, dwarves, rednecks, whatever, or things like Prime Time wife-swapping. I'm terrible at determining what kind of things will be popular, and what will be scorned. That's also why shows I like so seldom make it past 3 seasons.

With all that in mind, it's probably good that the new project I'm embarking on feels somewhere between an unholy terror and a colossal waste of time. Cut for complaining ) I've begun so many projects thinking, "Okay, this is the thing that will get me noticed," but then it isn't. Even bearing in mind that there's really no tipping point where people go from nothing to SUCCESS, I have to think there are stages at which large amounts of new people take an interest in the work.

The new project is at the Radish app. It's new around here, but has been popular in Korea and Japan and thereabouts for a while. They publish serial fiction in a whole bunch of genres. They said they were looking for horror writers, but that's not even an option yet on their site. So we shall see...
I'm publishing chapters weekly in a serial format. I get paid based on readership, which is not really the important part. It's a way to reach a new audience and get some new fiction out there, which I haven't been doing much of in favor of commission work and paid media stuff. New chaps will go up every Wednesday (see what I did there?).

What's the story? I'm so glad you asked.
But I'm not telling you except that it will feature a revolving cast of regular people and their interactions with Max, a guy who looks normal but is actually an employee of Hell.
Yeah, that Hell. ;-)
H has been a bit of a stressbag since they changed his work schedule.
That means I had to do my own cover design, which I'm not great at.
They also don't allow words on the covers. This is what I ended up with.
View post on
wednes: (Dark Side reflection)
I don't actually have much to say, but feel compelled to post here a few times a month.

Decided not to move my Email to a cheaper server, mainly because I don't know what the hell I'm doing and don't want to risk fucking up my...basically everything because I'm trying to save $60 a year.

It's almost tax time. I always hate tax time, but this year will be even dumber than usual because we got stiffed by a client and had to have a fundraiser to stave off homelessness. I really hate that dude still BTW. While I don't literally hope he dies in a fire, I do smile when I think of him barely escaping an all-consuming fire while losing everything he has. Because fuck him and his lying, ignorant ass.

Work. I have a lot of it. Much of it is not even boring. Some of it, I'm not even behind on. But I'm no closer to having a novel to write than I was at this time last year...or the year before. I have no inspiration, no idea that I feel passionate about. That might mean I'm not really a writer--because wouldn't a REAL writer push through that and create something anyway? Maybe a REAL writer wouldn't blog about nothing while actually giving a fuck what anyone thinks a REAL anything is. Or as Kyle would say: What if I'm not real?

Right now I'm working on a list of made-forTV horror movies for ScreenRant, a 2016 horror TV recap for 411Mania, plus Gotham comes back next week. I've also got some SEO stuff due soon, and a piece about Splooshing for Kinkly. I was able to pay this year's HWA dues, which keeps me looking like a serious professional for the next 12 months.

Also, when I go outside--it's cold. Unpleasantly so.


Jul. 16th, 2016 02:49 pm
wednes: (Peanut Butter/Jelly)
I realized something today.

I use Hootsuite, which means I set up social media posts to go live up to 4 weeks in the future. I do this for my own accounts, and also accounts for The Horror Within. Mostly, this is so I can spend a little less time on social media while remaining connected--and so my posts can go live when other human beings are awake and reading.

This does lead to awkward moments though. Like when say, "Cecil the Lion killed by d-bag" is posted 2 weeks after the dentist responsible was run out of town on a rail. Or any story that has updates, really. So I gotta be kind of careful about timely news versus evergreen articles and stuff.

Then I thought...
When I die (and honestly, how much time could I possibly have left?) my accounts will continue posting for weeks. People are gonna be hella confused. Yeah, the posts are labeled "posted by Hootsuite," but my oldster family members aren't going to know what that means. But how do I address that before my Big Day so it doesn't terrify or upset anyone? Also, that's gonna be a hella awesome troll. I wish there was a way to plan for it to be more awesome in maybe writing my own hilarious obit and posting it someplace.

As for me, kidney stones have me in terrible hurtful pain. Ugh.
wednes: (Eclipse)
As you know, my fiction writing has been minimal since I started writing for a living. Not that I would change anything, but I feel decidedly unmotivated after a few hours of work-writing, to sit and write any fiction. But that's lame. That's stupid. And I need to do better.

Still, I'm in a new anthology that you can (and totally should) buy Right Now! It's called "Not Your Average Monster" and contains stories by plenty of up and comers. For only $2.99 it's an utter steal.

My story, "Raja" is one I've written years ago and that can also be found in audiobook form as a podcast. That's got a pretty excellent cast and some great music too.

In other news, being a book producer is a pretty cool gig--or would be if it weren't for needy clients. It's allowing me to do cool things and buy cool stuff. With that in mind, I invested in a fake Pandora bracelet and some fake beads. Obviously, the Pandora bracelet thing is a huge scam where you pay $40-$120 for a plain bracelet and between $20-$300 for each friggin' charm and bead. I got the bracelet for $8 and a slew of beads and charms that totaled about $35. Some from Amazon, some from etsy. Will post a pic when I get it put together. Yeah, I'm a chick. You wanna fight about it?

We finally went to Secretary of State to renew my "driver's" license. You should all be frightened by how easy it was for me to convince the state that I'm cool to drive. An eye test that literally took 15 seconds. No driving test (I took one of those in high school, then never again), not even a written test. They asked me if I had any blackouts or memory lapses, and took my word for it. Really?
I mean, really?
wednes: (Doctor Literally Too Stupid)
Remember last summer when Facebook decided I was a liar with a fake name? I had to go through all this bullshit of sending IDs, having them ask for more, sending more, having them tell me they couldn't read what I've sent (despite it being perfectly legible). Eventually, they told me everything was fine. It wasn't. I notice too that Photobucket deleted my screencaps of my Emails with Facebook people. I presume they're in cahoots. Days later, I was again told that this was all fine. Apparently, it still isn't.
Woke up last night to find myself locked out of Facebook AGAIN. The message? "Please change your name. It looks like the name on your Facebook account may not be your authentic name. We ask everyone to use the name they go by in real life so friends know who they're connecting with."
I could count on my fingers the number of people who know me by my legal name, which is Wednesday Lee [H's last name, which I took legally when I got married]. So much foolishness. How many IDs do I need to show Facebook in order to keep arguing politics with strangers and looking at pictures of cats and dinners? Seriously.

It occurs to me, that I won't be able to log into Photobucket for this week's reviews since my login has always been via Facebook. So, if they don't fix this shit by Sunday, this foolishness will start costing me real jobs and actual money.
EDIT: Looks like I can log in via Twitter, who appears to be the lesser asshole in this situation. It's generally the users on Twitter who suck, not Twitter itself.

I wish there was a way to do what I normally do on the Internets without having to bow and scrape to a company that only uses us as marketing chattel in the first place, gives no control over content, and then occasionally accuses us of not knowing our own names. WTF. #Annoyance
wednes: (Shaun/Beatin')
I finally, at long last, have my proper medication in hand after being more than two weeks without it. As of last night though, my psyche was pretty much broken. I was within a breath of telling H to "shut the fuck up and stay away from me," which is simply not how we speak to each other. But my brain was broken.

In weirdness news, I learned that there's a way to report people who steal your Tweets. One wouldn't think stealing Tweets would be a thing, since there's a simple button that lets you retweet. But for a few months now, there's a chick who's been copy/pasting my tweets, putting her initials in front--basically posting Tweets that look like she's telling me something I just said. But on her feed it looks like it's her own content. Why would anyone do this, aside from general fuckery? I do not know.
So today, after this person stole and copy/pasted my tweet about (of all things) reporting stolen tweets, I told her that I reported her. She responded as if she had no idea it was unethical to copy/paste other people's Tweets. She seemed to think that because she tagged me in "her" Tweets, that she was giving me credit.

I had to SMH and laugh, because I have a book client right now who I've literally spent hours with, trying to explain Twitter. But they still don't understand it. I realize that all social media sites have their own idiosyncratic elements that have a learning curve. But really?

Blue Cross Blue Shield can fuck right off, BTW. They decided to stop covering something I need. So instead of it costing $5 a month, the new "uninsured" price is $235 a month. Needless to say, that means I won't be getting it. I can almost understand why they wouldn't cover it. But I cannot understand how concentrated hydrocortisone could possibly cost that much. Fucking pharma-bros, all of them! I'm told that in other parts of the world, it's illegal to make a profit on medical supplies. Seems like common sense, right? Another way the US of A is teh oligarchy. Maybe everyone should shut the fuck up and stay away from me, at least until I feel more like my usual charming self.
wednes: (AB/Waffle Man)
I do the overwhelming majority of the cooking around here, since H can only cook bachelor food. His fave meal that I make is chili, because I am the ace at it. I think my chili con carne is so good, that I'd enter it into cookoffs if they happened anywhere near me. But I'm certainly not schlepping my chili and fixin's down to Texas. I hear it's hot and racist down there. ;-)

Tonight though, H wants his second favorite meal--which is abbreviated thanksgiving. I take a whole mess of veggies and mix them with a bag of Pepperidge Farm cornbread stuffing. Add chicken stock and bake--serve with gravy that came out of a jar. That's right, a jar. You wanna fight about it? Sometimes I mix in some ground chicken, but today I'm keeping the ground chicken on the side for portion control. Meat is expensive, you know. With it, we're having green bean casserole. H friggin loves green bean casserole--and like many African Americans, he had never heard of it as a kid.

This is a discovery that I made in my adult life--that the Campbells cookbook from 1968 didn't make it out of middle-class white neighborhoods. When H and I first got married, H's grandmother asked me for the recipe after having it at her new church. She was the 3rd or 4th black person I knew who had never heard of it, despite being part of casserole culture. As far as I knew--if you knew about tuna casserole, you should also know about green bean casserole. Not so, though.

Like most people, I make personal adjustments to my green bean casserole. I always use frenched green beans out of a can, and more mushrooms than the recipe calls for (I loves mushers). I use cream of chicken mushroom instead of regular cream of mushroom. I also add sour cream and a healthy couple of shakes of Kraft parmesan. No fresh foods to be found, really. I stir it twice during cooking. Then of course the crunchy onions--which H would put on everything but breakfast cereal if he could.

In other news, my short story, "Raja" has been accepted by an anthology called "Not Your Average Monster." I had a feeling it would be a good fit for them if they liked it. I did a lot of work on this one before submitting, since another pub (that folded before they could publish it) made me edit it down to absurd proportions. So I'm pretty stoked for this fleshed out version to be getting some ink. Yay!
wednes: (Default)
I really wish I didn't have to use Facebook sometimes. They are such lame pains in the ass about this name business.

As you may know, they logged me out of my account last Thursday morning, telling me I had to prove to them that I was using my real name. Why they couldn't just google me, I do not know. Since I use that name on both of my own websites, plus every online account I've ever had, it seems like that would be the easiest way. But no, they gave me one week to get my documents in order.

The next day I sent them their required ID (my wedding certificate, and 2 pieces of mail from different senders--neither of which were hand written). After 6 days, I heard nothing. Suddenly today, I'm locked out again. I resent everything, and am still waiting to hear. Now not only can I not use my Facebook account--I can't use any account that I usually sign into via Facebook. So no YouTube, no commenting on various websites, all that annoying shit.

And like an idiot, I have business correspondences that happen through Facebook, so I can't do some of my regular work. I don't even know how long this bullshit will take.

Funny thing, when I was paying them for advertising, or back when I'd occasionally pay for game perks--they had no such desire to confirm my identity. Now suddenly it's some huge problem?

Keep in mind, that this is a site that says right in their TOS that they don't have the ability to keep our info safe. Yet they want a pic of my driver's license (even though I don't drive), my marriage certificate, and all this other shit? Just to prove that nobody is impersonating me? Fuck that shit, Facebook. Fuck it right in the ear.

Worst of all, they couch these intrusive requirements as a matter of safety for me, and truthiness for them. Bullshit. It's as much bullshit as when Google tells me that giving them my phone number makes me "safe" when all it really does is increase the amount of scam texts and calls I get. All this name bullshit combined with their facial recognition software makes this something downright Orwellian.

So why couldn't they look over my shit when I sent it 6 days ago? Nobody knows. You can't talk to or even Email an actual person. I have roughly a dozen bylines using this name on different sites: LJ, DW, Kinkly, ZZN, Associated Content, Geekbinge, Puckermob, Articlecats, Disqus, and a few more that are eluding me at the moment, plus my own pro website, Amazon, Under the Bed, and The Horror Within, not to mention the scads and oodles of fiction I've published.

What a fucking pain in the ass.

My name is Wednesday Lee Friday, and I despise Facebook's bullshit policies.
And we have always been at war with Eurasia.
wednes: (Vyv ;-()
Apparently horror writers are having a big blowout over Paid Markets (R with circle) versus FTL markets. Which one makes you a "real writer" or a "sell out" or someone who "lacks talent." I'm someone who has to constantly check myself to make sure I'm not acting like a complete D-bag over who is a Real Writer (TM) or not, and I find this irksome as all hell.

When I first started writing shorts with the intention of wide release, I was willing to give stuff away to FTL markets. I just wanted to be read and seen. But novels? No. I'm only giving those free on special occasions, or to reviewers, and with the hope that doing so will garner good reviews and increase sales. Having done that, I've still never come close to earning min wage in terms of hours spent on a book versus money earned. Does that mean I'm not a Real Writer? To some, yes. I find this odd, because other writers know you can write your ass off, create something great, and still make less than $1,000 on it. I never heard huge authors bashing small authors for the ways in which they try to boost sales--but I hear non-writers bash active writers for their marketing efforts all the time.

I've been hearing the argument that writers giving away their work hurts writers who are selling. I can't imagine that this is true. Books just don't work that way. If you enjoy an author, you're not going to skip their next book because someone you've never heard of has a book available for free. By that logic, people who love to fuck are taking money away from prostitutes.

Writers who want to be paid for their work are not "passionless sellouts" who "only do it for the money." Nor are those who give their work away "talentless losers who couldn't sell a story if their lives depended on it." I strenuously hope I've never sounded like this big a D-bag when talking about other writers (who are not Stephanie Meyer or EL Fudge or whatever her inner goddess name is). But I probably have at some point. *ahem* fanfic *ahem*

In the end, I think it's up to the writer to decide what their work is worth. Yeah, that is bound to result in wild over and under-pricing. I've read great stuff on Kindle that cost me nothing. I've also seen Facebookers who can't even put a sentence together selling their debut books on Smashwords for $75. Well, I don't know that they're selling them, but they are listing them at prices only a mother would spend. Like most things in life--we should all be allowed to do what we want and leave everyone else out of it. I won't hold my breath though.

While I have your attention, I've been listing my own shorts at Amazon for a mere 99 cents. Available now are:

The Growlers: A fast-food zombie tale that ties in to my novel, The Finster Effect.

Whitman, I Ain't: A first-person narrative of a school shooter.

Trabajando Alegre: One of my personal favorite shorts. This one is about a new employment program designed to help poverty stricken minorities. People refer to this as a satire, but I think it's just straight-up horror.

More are coming soon. I'm mainly waiting for H to finish the covers.


Mar. 29th, 2015 07:26 am
wednes: (Growlers)
I'm finally getting it together to put some short stories for sale at Amazon. Now that I'm better at formatting for Kindle, it's a no brainer that I should be releasing as much as I can for sale. I have to say who the publisher is when I put new stories up on KDP. So I've decided to be WednesFri Scares. Because I'm me, and I scare.

With that in mind, The Growlers is back in print. Borrow it for free, or buy it for 99 cents. H made a sweet new cover, which you can see at the link. The icon for this post is the old graphic that I used when the podcast ep was released. Cool, eh?

Once I get new covers, I'm gonna be putting up a few more shorts to see how they do. I'm also gonna be publishing another author I'm not ready to release details about yet. Pretty sure I'll release Trabajando Alegre, Raja, and maybe Whitman, I Ain't. Might be nice if I could get pro-gun and anti-gun people arguing over that one. I should also release An Occurrence Among Stoners at Owl Creek Bridge because why the hell not? #Popularity

Now...The Walking Dead Season Five finale is tonight. After getting spoiled on Helix more than once this season, I'm not going back on the Internet from the time it airs until I actually see it. A lot of people are saying Daryl is going to die.

Initially, I dismissed this without much thought--sort of like I did with the "Snape Kills Dumbledore" spoiler that turned out to be true. It seems unlikely that TWD would kill Daryl, since he's a clear fan fave. AMC has made it pretty clear that they care more about profits than art, and they won't risk driving away the teenage fan base. Today I found out that Norman Reedus is selling his house, which could mean that he's moving on to bigger things. I will be bummed if Daryl dies, but I don't think that's what will happen. TWD is so large with diversions from the comic, but I think this time they're gonna adhere. If he does die though, he should totally turn up as a zombie on the spinoff. Yeah, I know it's a prequel. There are also undead cannibals, so suspending our disbelief shouldn't be too hard.

My prediction is that Rick will be exiled, and Glenn & Maggie will immediately elect to go with him, as will Carl. But then, Alexandria is the safest place for Judith, who would need Carl to take care of her. Abraham and Rosita, Father Gabriel Asshat, and Michonne will stay. But as soon as the gates open, that's probably when the Wolves will come. The lead in has been way too heavy to not have them show up. We've been promised tears, so I imagine that's when it will happen. I won't spoil it for anyone who doesn't know--but I will miss this person a LOT if that's who dies.
wednes: (Vyv ;-()
When I read other authors talk about their marketing techniques, a lot of them say they never talk about politics online. They say it's alienating to readers who don't agree with them, and they don't want to offend people. Obviously, it's their choice to discuss or not discuss whatever they want.

For me though...
it feels like a cop-out to refrain from commenting on the news of the day. And by that, I mean actual news--not celebrity foolishness or some lady who got into a car accident when she was shaving her privates.

I was accused of "trying to be the internet police" this weekend when I called someone out for posting something hateful. I do that. If the poster or speaker is someone I have an actual friendship with (whether online or RL), I feel complicit if I see certain things without comment. These include hateful, racist, or sexist language, reinforcement of stereotypes, or things that are demonstrably and/or provably false. So if you're laughing at disabled fat people, accusing 16-year-old girls of "slutting it up," or suggesting compulsory drug testing for all pregnant women--you can expect to hear my reasoned dissent.

It would be easy to say "If you don't like what I post, don't read it," or "Get the hell off my page if you can't handle what I'm laying down." But honestly, if someone actually disagrees with me to the point where it makes them dislike me as a person, or avoid my work like I'm some kind of Orson Scott Card--what I honestly hope for is that they approach me to talk about it. My point has never been to declare things and then close off all discussion.

Anything I post, I'm willing to defend. Any question someone has, I'll do my best to answer it. People have asked me all manner of things from how much I weigh, to things about my sex life, to whether or not I've ever actually wanted to kill someone, or if I've have had sex for money. Granted, I may tell someone that their question is none of anybody's goddamn business--but even after I do that, I still might answer.

Ultimately, I like discussing the big issues--particularly among those with whom I disagree. I've had great conversations with conservatives about fiscal conservatism, the purpose and realities of welfare, equality in the legal system, guns, drugs, and plenty of other divisive topics. Rational discussion is how we learn and progress as a people. What I won't do is dignify asinine stances with rational debate. If you think black people commit more crimes than white people, or that gays are icky and what they do shouldn't be marriage--my willingness to discuss that is limited.

This post was stemmed from another writer who asked me if I worry that "all this political talk" is costing me sales. I have to say, refraining from discussing things I find important is far too big a price to pay just to sell some books. I tend to blame my miniscule advertising budget anyway. Besides, if you read my books you're gonna get a tiny dose of my politics anyway. The Finster Effect is pretty damn political, and S4S and KMLYLM both deal with social issues galore.


Apr. 8th, 2014 06:48 am
wednes: (Wednes Logo)
Made a few adjustments to my Goodreads advertisements. In the space of one week, I literally increased my views ten times, and my clicks five times. Did not expect so dramatic an increase. I thought small targeting of specific readers would be better for me, but maybe not. I guess I'll have to wait and see if it translates into sales.

Still trying to chase down more freelance work. Know anybody who needs SEO, blogs, or anything I'm good tell. Geekbinge site has been wonky lately, but I'm told it will be fixed soon.

Did I already mention that Under the Bed is going to print? Yes, I'm told it will be this summer, so we shall see. I'm guessing that issues will be right around $10. Won't that be fun?

Got an extension on my taxes, and am going to file my Michigan return on paper. Turbo Tax is just too expensive for me now that I'm freelancing, which sucks, because now is when I really need the good version. I just can't pay an extra $170 on top of the $350 or so I owe the gub-mint. Being poor blows. Too bad I plumb forgot to be rich.
wednes: (Work)
I got interviewed by a Bosnian magazine about six months ago. Never heard back. On a whim, I was looking through old Emails and came across the link to the mag's website. Turns out, the interview went live last November.

Of course, I don't speak Bosnian.
So I used Google Translate:

It's long, but seriously hilarious )

Wondering what I actually said? You're in luck, because I save copies of all my interviews.
Also kind of long, and less funny. )

And that, friends, is my adventure in Bosnia.
wednes: (Wednes Logo)
You'll all be thrilled to know that the 2nd edition of A Stabbing for Sadie is available now wherever fine eBooks are sold. I imagine Amazon is where most of you will be picking up this awesomely edited, vastly improved version of my debut novel. Smashwords also has it in a variety of DRM free formats.

cover by David Dodd

Haven't read my first book? It's about a mentally unstable chick trying to shake off her miserable formative years and develop into something better. But, she's confused, ill, tired, and poor. Luckily, she's also witty, honest, and complicated while having a knack for bitter sarcasm and knee-slapping humor.

Did a Guest Blog recently, about how point-of-view impacts the relationship between characters and readers. I use popular examples like The Girl Next Door, Carrie, and Fowles The Collector. Then, of course, I talk about my own books as well. I think it's a pretty good read. I'd be stoked if it got some real play. Personally, I don't think horror writers talk about POV and narrative voice nearly as much as they should.

Things at Under the Bed magazine are still a fine mix of frustration and awesome. The issues continue to get better and better. We're taking on a lit reviewer and looking for a videogame writer, and we have an excellent film reviewer (Psst, it's [personal profile] porcelain72). We don't get enough Letters to the Editor though. You guys should send some in:
wednes: (Wednes Logo)
My website is revamped.
I think it's nice.


In other news, I'm beyond stressed at how hard it is to convert my beautiful magazine layouts to epubs and mobi. Apparently, Adobe thinks a Page Break command would make exporting far too easy.
Hell, I'd pay their stupid monthly fee if it meant I could just tell it where to break the page by drawing a line with the stupid arrow.



Oct. 25th, 2013 10:36 pm
wednes: (Wednes Logo)
I am told that my new website will be Up and Atom on Saturday, which is tomorrow. It's a Wordpress site, which is the same kind of site roughly 3/4 of the writers I know have. Except this one will be about good ol' me.
You'll be able to find it the same place as ever:

In addition to hyping the books, it will feature the old podcast eps, the comics I did for Resilient Brainforest, and the various mags and anthologies I may be found in. Then it will talk about the mag, the audiobooks, and all that there.

I'm starting a newsgroup where I'll send out a weekly (or so, I've not decided yet) bulletin rounding up all the places I've been online that week. So it will include my Kinkly articles and GeekBinge stuff, as well as anyplace I've been interviewed or featured. If I do anything else for ZZN, I'll include that as well.
So it'll be crazy comprehensive and informative for anyone with an interest in me and what I've been up to.

NaNoWriMo starts soon. I've carved out some time so I can work on my SyFy script, which I'm pretty excited about getting done. It might also be fun to see how badly it can be fucked up by a terrible director and some godawful acting. I really hope I get to find out.

In worse news, I'm still very far away from being able to convert mag issues to epub and mobi formats. Even worse, I'm not exactly sure how much of this is due to my computer being too old to run the current version of Nook. The mobi files so far are just a big jumble of text I can't make heads or tails of.
So dang and fie on all that.
wednes: (Wednes Blue)
For all the work I've been doing, you'd think I'd have a lot more money.

Right now I'm doing 3 TV reviews a week: Dexter, Boardwalk Empire, and Under the Dome. Two of those shows are ending in the next 3 weeks. Then I'm picking up Hostages and American Horror Story: Coven. My new column for GeekBinge is Friday's Pics. We started with 1980, which was kind of an easy one:

Flash Gordon
The Fog

Yeah, I imagine Seth MacFarlane would have been totally down with that.
And yeah, my GeekBinge archive makes it easy to find all my reviews and snarky commentary.

My Kinkly articles continue to be a lot of fun. I've got a Vampire article coming up for Halloween, and another article planned for next month in addition to the news articles I've been doing.

Things at Under the Bed Magazine are slow going. Barnes & Noble has taken their sweet time in getting us changed over to the new branding. They still haven't released the September issue. This is a drag, since I'm putting really strong issues together. I'm getting sort of good at the editing thing, and think the mag has good art and fun extras. It saddens me that it's taking so long to make it to The People. I am hopeful though, that these issues will work themselves out.

In other news, I'm gonna make a new Bean Bag Frog like the one I had in college. Bean Bag Frogs are good thinking caps as I recall. I found a pattern online. Later I'm going to Joanne Fabrics and Crafts to get all the stuff I need. I could have ordered it all online, but I don't want to buy fabric until I touch it. I need some fabrics and button eyes and ribbon for the tongue. Plus I need pins and a pin cushion. I may get bean bag beans, unless they're expensive. I don't know, is there a reason why I shouldn't use lentils or rice or beans or something?
I hope they have that one that's a tomato inexplicably tied to a strawberry. What the hell is that all about, anyway?
wednes: (Neville)
I am not sure I care for the idea of simultaneous submissions. I can see why they're a convenience to the writer, but now that I'm a big-city editor (Ha!) I'm finding the whole concept to be a pain in the ass. Not sure yet if this means I should ban them entirely (not that people would listen) or stay with the current policy which is Simultaneous Subs are strongly discouraged.

Literary types, do you think the submission numbers would go way down if I insisted on no simultaneous subs?
Is that something I should be insisting on considering that we don't pay pro rates yet?

Not sure how to proceed, but I do know that it's frustrating as hell to accept a story, plan out an issue, and then see the work get withdrawn--especially if I've already edited it.
I'm inclined not to accept any submission from an author who does this. But I'm not sure if that's reasonable, or a sign of petttiness on my part.
(I wasn't going to tell anyone this, but I can be damn petty at times--Ha!)

Little help?

In other news, tomorrow night is Ghost Shark.
If you're in the neighborhood and want to come by, it comes on at 9pm.
I also made chocolate chip bananna bread with pecans.
wednes: (OMG!!!)
Yeah, power was out for a fraction of today, giving me yet another fine excuse to not get much work done. It's back on now, which is how I'm blogging. Duh. Publishing is closing down today. This was the publishing house that sent me my very first acceptance letter for my very first novel, A Stabbing for Sadie (which was almost named "Tiamata"). That book is in the process of being released as a second edition. In fact, this very weekend I am going through it one more time. I was ambivalent about some tense issues and now I need to fix it. Anyway, publishing with SGP was great in many ways, and helped me learn a lot about publishing, about writing, and marketing, and how it was not very much like I thought it would be at all. I'm pretty happy to be with a new house with new editions, soon to have a new website and my very own horror mag.
I always had a vision of me sitting in a room with some brilliant editor type, discussing all the ways to make it better. That never happened though. Like a lot of things in life, that's something I imagine will happen to other people but never to me.
But then, I tend toward the melancholia.

Speaking of which, the finale of Marc Maron's show is on tonight. I'm a great fan of Maron, but I daresay it's different than the way I'm a fan of say, Jon Stewart or Carlin. I've been watching Jon Stewart since Mtv Spring Break. He's always seemed like a cool older cousin who knows where I can get some pot--and will sit down and talk to me if I'm sad because the older kids were mean to me.
Maron doesn't seem like someone I'd ever hang out with. He seems like the sort of guy like Jerry Seinfeld--who is way to self-conscious to enjoy hanging out with someone like me. I had a hot, hot boss like that once.

My hair is well on the way to awesome, color-wise. I bleached the hell out of it, becoming half a blonde after about 2 hour of Flash Lightening. I'm doing it up with a new blue and a lilac--which is not taking very well. I'm hoping this second round of color will absorb better and end up looking stunning. The trim I gave my own hair looks kinda shitty, but I'm not cutting any more until it grows out a little in the front.

First issue of my horror magazine is due July 4th. That means I'll have to accept all the stories by then, and notify the authors. I also have to finish Sadie edits in that time, write 8 new SEO articles, finish the last Stig & The Puppetman for a while, and do two TV interviews a week. Dexter starts back up on Sunday. That is, if you'll pardon the sexist expression, gonna be tits!
wednes: (Pot meets Kettle)
Announcement: If you haven't yet bought a copy of my book The Cat's Apprentice, your time to do so is running out. My former publisher, Publishing is going out of business. My horror books are either available now or soon to be reappearing with Crossroad Press.
For those of you who keep asking, I still don't know when The Finster Effect will be out in paperback. Right now Mr Publisherman and I are trying to get the Kiss Me Like You Love Me audiobook up for sale through Audible. Soon...soon...

Some college peeps are coming to see me this Friday, one of these I have not seen in 20 years. A lot of chicks fret about looking older and/or fatter than they did in school. Not me. I was fat then, so nobody is gonna be shocked that I'm fat now. Between being heavy and never having any kids, I tend to look younger than other chicks I graduated with. Plenty of chicks I went to high school with (more the poor high school than the middle class one) are already grandmothers. I can't even imagine...
Anyway, we're having 70's movie night. Crowhaven Farm (which I haven't seen since I was little) and Trilogy of Terror, which I love.
I was gonna make a real cheesecake. I haven't made a real one in some time, and was afraid I'd mess it up and waste the ingredients. I'm trying a less risky fake cheesecake (read: no bake and has Cool Whip) with nutella and my famous cocoa puffs pie crust. Should be tasty, if not exactly gourmet.

Been listening to The National. The band. I like what I'm hearing. And yet, they tend to sort of fade into the background when I'm doing stuff.

And finally, I made the hilarious mistake of trying to cut all the blue out of my hair--while I was tired and kinda high. Now I have super short bangs--the kind I had as a kid. I never got nice looking haircuts as a kid, because my mom just wanted me to not need a haircut for a super long time. H likes it, but I can't wait for my hair to grow back down into my eyes.
Gonna re bleach it and put some color in the front soon. Trying a different brand of color, a blue and a lilac. Pics to come.
wednes: (Sow the Seed)
I'm watching all the eps of Maron that I had on the DVR, mainly to avoid work for a few hours. It's really funny and good in that low-key, depressing Maronish way. I was a fan of Maron back when you could see good stand-up on Comedy Central all the time. Boy...those were the days. I hadn't really thought about him for a while before his new show. I don't really listen to podcasts, even when I made one. Now I kinda wonder what Dave Atell is up to. ;-]
It's weird, Maron feels like he's trying to get to the guts of some big emotional and personal issues. But the show almost watches like he doesn't hang out with enough crazy people that offer him perspective. But that's not possible, is it? After all, he's a comedian. They're all kinda nuts, right? Is it because men are just so terrible at communicating? Anyway, Marc Maron in coveralls looks like a depressed serial killer who can't remember where he left his chainsaw.

Speaking of depressing news, I was sad to hear that Stephen Colbert's mom died. Still, 92 is a pretty good run. I'll be lucky if I make half of that.
John Oliver is kicking ass on Daily Show, but I'm not sure I'm ready for the inevitable announcement that Jon Stewart will be leaving some day.

Moving on to Wednes-related things, I've been reading subs for the magazine.
Oh yeah, if you haven't heard:

I'm now the editor of a horror eFiction mag!!!

Yeah, I'm not sure the complete extent of my duties yet. Should be meeting with my boss-type person soon and figuring out all the details.

My new website is progressing nicely. My cousin Richard is doing an awesome job with the design and colors and stuff. I think he is my second cousin, actually. Well, he's the son of my mom's cousin, whatever that is. It's a much more um...modern looking site that will feature blog snippets and recent Tweets, in addition to offering newsletter sign ups and all the stuff that was on my old site--like book excerpts and free audio stuff.
That'll be cool. Still waiting for KMLYLM audiobook to get approved and released. Also waiting for paperback version of The Finster Effect which I hope will be ready soon.
wednes: (Wednes Poison)
You may have heard that The Finster Effect is available for purchase as an eBook and an Audiobook. What you may not know, is that members are not impressed. If you've listened to it, or read it, you might want to pen a wee review and help a sistah out.
I have a small number of FREE codes for reviewers. Not sure yet who's gonna get those.

Been listening to the audiobook for Kiss Me Like You Love Me The reads are fantastic. I am most def the weak link as far as doing voices. After a few tiny edits, it'll be up on Audible for approval. Then it will go live and you'll be able to hear it. I'm stoked, since it's so good.

In horror news, I am now the editor of an eHorror mag.
I have a name for it in mind, but don't want to tell you until it gets approved.
This should be a ton of fun, and allow me to flex my editorial muscle.
wednes: (Vyv ;-()
Today, Amazon announced Amazon Worlds.
It's their shiny new fanfic platform so "writers" who can't quite get it together to create a milieu, settings, conflicts, arcs, or characters can still make money from their literary masturbation. For the record, I am pro-masturbation. I just don't want to see it online in places where I should be seeing the real thing. Also, fuck fanfic. Fuck it.

My extremely condescending comments on fanfic are as follows: )
Also, if fanfic is published, how does one distinguish what is actually becoming canon in a given lexicon?

And before someone else asks me if I would be complimented if someone wrote fanfic about Sadie, or Mikey, or any other character of mine--listen up. I'm a mature adult, which means I can refrain from killing you, or even hitting you. But if you steal my characters and do some fucked up shit with them--I will hate you with every fibre of my being. Hate. Honest-to-Zod wishing terrible things on you, lighting black candles in your honor, almost ashamed at my own intensely vitriolic loathing of anyone who would do this where it could be seen by another human being (or sentient being of any other species).

When people talk about their pets as if they are their children, I find that annoying. I'm not Pentelope and JoJo's "mom." That's just dumb IMO.
But my characters? I *am* their creator. They are mine. MINE! And they don't do a goddamn thing unless I say so (are you also noticing that this attitude would not actually be conducive to child rearing?).

Amazon, I've always stuck up for you and your outsourcing ways. And this is how you do me? No...
I'm so sad.
Seriously, I wish this hadn't happened during my menses because I am not taking it well at all. I kinda feel like Writing is over; but that's alarmist isn't it?
Isn't it?

In other writing news, I'm almost half way through reading Oryx and Crake. It's kicking my ass, for sure. What I find most amazing about it is that the writing is lyrical and poetic even though the POV character is not. Because I write mainly in the first-person, I don't do this. I've told myself that it can't be that way--but now that I see that it can, I feel sort of remiss in some way. Like I could have been writing a whole lot better but I wasn't pushing myself, reasoning that the prose had to sound like the character.
Then again, one could argue that the strength of my writing is the raw voices. At any rate, Atwood is inspiring me to try some more 3rd person stuff and to play around with poetic language amid abrasive characters.
wednes: (Wednes Logo)
Project: Buy a gun for home protection has been dismantled. I'm feeling less anxious with the addition of more meds and etc. This still isn't a particularly safe neighborhood, but I'd rather save up to get the hell out of here than making sure I can kill anyone who tries to mess with us.

Got the first mockups for my new website design. They look nice, and I'm really pleased to have someone reliable to work on it for me. The Kiss Me Like You Love Me audiobook will be done soon, and available at soon after that. It's got some familiar voices along with some new ones. I've heard some of the reads, and they are awesome.

I ate a whole pineapple over the course of last week.
It was not in season, and thus not very sweet or pineappley.
H got fresh cherries at the store last week. They were awesome.
Cherries go well in absolutely everything. I used them in ground chicken meatballs and they were fabbo.
I've been craving potatoes and sausage in horseradish sauce.
So I'm making that next week.

New short story is in the works. Subbing it at the end of the month.
It's a 3rd person narrative, because I need practice with that.
Finished reading Under the Dome.
It's depressing as shit, and made me really mad most of the way through.
People suck, and SK is damn good at conveying it.

Been having crazy, violent nightmares lately. I was bashing some lady over the head with a wine bottle in one, and trying not to get stabbed in another. H is almost never in my dreams, which I think is weird.
wednes: (Dancing Hurley)
Hey kids,

You know how audiobooks are crazy expensive?
Well...The Finster Effect audiobook is now on sale for $1.99

I know, right?

Get it here.

It really is a super good deal, the kind you should tell people about.
It's usually $25. And I don't think it'll be at this crazy low price for long.
wednes: (Zombie Film)
The Finster Effect audiobook drops today. TODAY!!!

That means you can buy it.
Right now.

No waiting...
I bet most of you can put it right on your phones.

To take the rat-infested, Michigan-flavored, zombie madness with you wherever you go.
wednes: (Heart Horror)
Marketing 2.0 is about to get underway as I update my website, start a newsgroup, and continue with the paid adverts. Audiobooks will (hopefully) be out soon--but that's tougher since it's not all under my control. I'm not gonna be linking this blog to my site anymore--at least not as the main blog. I have a big awesome plan for something I could tell people about that they don't already know and will find fascinating.

So I'm stoked about that.

TV Reviews continue to be fun and good for exposure. The money is not great, but the writeoffs are awesome.

We watched Defiance, all they've showed so far. It was not bad. Derivative, but hell, what isn't? There are some future-Lannisters in it. Bright blonde hair, ruthless while pretending to be on the level, and inappropriate nakedness between family members. Mom, please put on something besides beads before you hug your kid. All I remembered was the door and weights, that there were witches, and that a girl a little older than me (at the time, I was probably about 11) was trying to steal a grown-up lady's husband. Amazingly, she was successful, which blew my mind as a kid.

For H, I got some Assassin's Creed game he had on his wishlist. He likes it, though he says he's "way behind."

Tonight I have two TV reviews--thank the gods The Following is finally ending tonight. I've had fun mocking it, and puzzling how Bacon and Purefoy could have thought this was good writing. *swoon* Purefoy...
It's so disappointing that such a promising show was SO terrible. I'm still digging Bates Motel. Both of the leads, Freddie Highmore and Vera Farmiga, give excellent performances. I expected the tacked-on brother to be a throwaway character, but he's also been interesting and good.

Reading Under the Dome so I can be in-the-know when the series comes out this summer--I'm totally reviewing that too.
wednes: (Go Crazy?)
I have devoted my life to the worship of Choffy.
People actually tell me that I make it on the weak side. Not being a coffee drinker, I don't really know how strong steeped beans are supposed to be. But honestly, Choffy makes me feel sort of drunk.
Not drunk drunk. Not a head buzz at all. But like, a body buzz--which I don't think I've ever gotten from booze. Choffy is a vascodialator so it makes my blood vessels relax and open up. It also makes me feel like I need a nap. I'm gonna start drinking it at the end of the day instead of the beginning.

Work is going okay. I need to pursue more avenues for making money with writing. A lot of the gigs I'm finding are evil enough that I wouldn't want to do them under my own name. But then, do I really want to do work that I feel I should hide from people who know me? Probably--because I'm a big fan of paying my own bills and buying my own stuff. And I need a new computer.

My current clients are pretty cool though. Easy to work with and decent pay for what I'm doing. The sex writing is getting me more notice than the horror stuff--which I guess makes sense since more people admit to enjoying sex than admit to loving horror. *sigh* I was hoping KLMLYM would get reviewed by my beloved Jack Ketchum. No dice. That's a shame, since I honest think he'd dig it. Then again, I'd be crushed if he thought it sucked...maybe so crushed that I'd stop writing horror altogether--and nobody wants that.

In re: horror. I'm not sure what I want to work on next. I have two partial novels (NaNos, so VERY loose rough drafts of about 55K words) that could both be made into something cool. One is a huge story that includes a monster in a lake and was supposed to capture the scope and bloody whimsy of Christopher Moore. That's when I learned I couldn't possibly carry a cast that big. But then I wrote The Finster Effect where the cast is almost that large and diverse.
The other partial I have is about a chick with erotomania who's in love with her hot hot boss. This, like most of my work, has no parallel with my own life. Bahahahahaa! Anyway, it's told from both MC's POV's. I don't remember enough about it to say if it's any good, but I'll probably take a look at it soon.
Lately I've been working on short stories in between other work projects. I look around at the call for subs and treat them like homework assignments. I've got a cool one in the works right now. 3rd person POV, which is something I have to work on.
New Stig & The Puppetman coming up. I really hope those are as funny as I think they are.

Talked to a web guy who suggested moving my whole site over to Wordpress. I have no idea how any of that works, my ignorance about such things is annoyingly pervasive. So I gotta research all that before I can figure out what to do next.
wednes: (NaNo Runner)
After giving away thousands of free Kindle copies of Kiss Me Like You Love Me a week has gone by without a single new review anywhere in the world. I guess you can lead the French to download, but you can't make them read.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm far too sensitive to manage my own marketing. Whenever I work on it, I'm overcome with how small of an effect my efforts have, and how much money and time I'm spending to reap such poor results. Even with that realization, I have no idea what's to be done about it.

The only place I've had any success at all are Facebook, where I now have to pay them if I want to reach even a quarter of the people who are supposedly following me, and Goodreads, who just got bought by Amazon. Now only are the reviews about to lose all credibility there, but if their advertising rates become even 1/10 of what Amazon now charges, they'll be out of my budget forever.

I keep hearing about how publishing has changed so much, and everyone has a chance to reach people now. But you can't even get a decent marketing campaign off the ground for less than ten grand. I know I'd enjoy writing more if I could just write good stories and didn't have to stress about the marketing end of things. But that's kind of like saying sex would be better if I could cut out all the relationship bullshit and just concentrate on having more orgasms. Wow, that's probably the most profound thing I've said all day.

wednes: (MamaCass)
The giant book giveaway is finally over.

I was feeling pretty bad that Kiss Me Like You Love Me only made it to #4 in horror in the US. Then my publisher told me that all the books above me had paid for Amazon promotion, whereas I had not. Amazon promoting is retardedly expensive. I am spending a little money on some ads, but only as much as I can honestly afford. The audiobooks are costing a lot more to produce. Hopefully they will sell well.

Final high numbers are as follows:

US: #4 in Horror #69 in all of Kindle. *snerk*

Canada: #1 in psychological thrillers, #3 in horror

Germany: #3 in psychological thrillers, #5 in horror

Italy: #4 in horror

France: #1 in psychological thrillers, #1 in horror

Despite this, we have no plans to move to France.
Giant thanks to everyone who helped out with shares, encouragement, downloads, shout-outs, likes, and every other type of helping out. I don't make a move without you, Internets.

The remainder of this week will be spent finishing my next article for Kinkly. It's on fat esthetics and how claims of fat people not having awesome sex lives are based on naught but chicanery of the highest order. Don't worry, I'll be using more accessible language.
I'll also be finishing the new Stig & The Puppetman, reviewing a sex toy, and writing TV reviews for the Doctor Who Premiere and Game of Thrones. For the next six weeks, I've got four reviews a week. That's gonna kick my ass in conjunction with all my marketing writing, comics, commission stuff, and everything else.

I'm also gonna make Alton Brown's devils food cake this weekend.
His recipes are always killer awesome.

In other news, I would murder someone for a bag of nacho cheese Doritos. Just to make it easier on us all, that someone can be Rick Santorum.


Mar. 27th, 2013 10:35 am
wednes: (Elephant on Trampoline)
So far, so...not too bad on the Kiss Me Like You Love Me book giveaway.

As of right now:

#4 in horror in the United States.

#3 in psychological suspense (and #6 in horror) in Canada

#23 in horror in the United Kingdom.

It's FREE in all those places (plus Italy, Spain, Denmark, and Columbia) for one more day. If you wouldn't mind helping me get the word out, that would be swell.

EDIT: 5:22pm Made it to #20 in the UK in horror, and to #2 in horror in Canada. Not sure if I'll get any higher than that without some major RT's.

EDIT AGAIN: 6:24pm #1 in Canada and #1 in France in Psychological Thrillers.
How do you say "nightmare" in French?
wednes: (Wednes Logo)
It's all true, I'm giving away Kindle copies of the 2nd edition of Kiss Me Like You Love Me. I'm hoping that this giveaway will be ginormous and turn me into a giantly huge author. Failing that, I'm hoping it will let a few more people figure out who the hell I am and what the hell I do.

So if you wouldn't mind telling everyone you know, perhaps by sharing this picture, that would be swell.

Or this one.

There's also this here link, what people can use for buyin'. Even if you already have the first edition, this new one has a fresh new edit. I made a few nagging changes that needed making. PLUS, there's a sample of The Finster Effect which if you haven't read it (and judging by the numbers, you haven't) is pretty goddamn good.

By the way, those of you out there who keep telling me you "don't do horror" but still post about The Walking Dead every week--I'm SO onto you. When The Finster Effect is finally optioned for a cable series, you'll be glad you already bought yours.
Speaking of The Walking Dead (cut for spoilers) ) Also, The Governor played future Doctor Who. It's important that we remember that.
wednes: (Psycho/Shower)
This new Kindle version comes with a sneak preview of The Finster Effect, which you should totally read if you haven't already done so.
Unless you're waiting for the paperback, in which case...gimme a minute--Jeez!
My new KMLYLM ad, by H.

If you're only reading me here at Dreamwidth, or landing here via my website, you'll want to know that I have a goddamn Twitter. I'm still not good at summing up a thought in 140 characters. And I regularly embarrass myself by saying random shit to celebrities in the middle of the night. So yeah...I am there, and you can totally follow me.

In random confession news, my favorite David Bowie album is Never Let Me Down. It's also the only one you can buy in a bargain bin.
wednes: (FG/Psycho)
I require the services of a web designer who can rework the front page of my website,

When I first came up with the ideas for the site, I had no idea how important it was to have fresh content on the front page. My front page is static, and is a jumping off point to take people to other parts of the site where they can download pdf samples and podcasts, read reviews, contact page, bio, etc. But the front page doesn't change.

I need to move all the headings over to the left side of the page, and have my Twitter feed onto the other side. That way, there will be fresh content on the front page, and stupid bots won't think it's just sitting there doing nothing.

It seems like something I should be able to figure out. So far though, no luck. I need to find someone who can do this for me, preferably for a wage they'd be otherwise insulted to take. Well, not quite THAT low, but my budget is pretty tiny.

If you or someone you know is willing to take a stab at this, do let me know.

Also, if you haven't been already, do take a look at my TV reviews at GeekBinge. These days, I'm covering The Following, and Bates Motel. Coming up: Doctor Who and Game of Thrones.
wednes: (Farnsworth/zombie jesus)
I got my first FREE sex toy in the mail for review today.
Apparently, my review of the Hitachi Magic Wand (rather a no-brainer, if you know anything about vibes) was so popular that I'm now considered a badass sex toy reviewer.

So I got a programmable, rechargeable, pressure-sensitive vibe to try out. I normally call trying something out giving it a whirl but that's too punny in this situation. So I'll just proclaim that the future of masturbation is here!!!

Kiss Me Like You Love Me is back for Kindle. If sales are high enough, there will be a new paperback release as well. If you haven't read this one yet-- prepare for it to be, as the fans are saying, disturbing as fuck. We're close to the end of audiobook recording. Hope to have it done by the end of the month. Should be a neat trick, since the rest of my month is swamped with deadlines. Get it? Because I'm a writer. No, really...I have a bunch of deadlines.

Come to think of it I have rather a lot of books available on your Kindle, and in dead-tree form. It should be noted that books from Crossroad Press are DRM free and can be converted for any device. If you read it for free because of online chicanery, please do post a review--that is, unless you want me to hate you.
I'll totally do it too...if I have time. ;-]
wednes: (NaNo Runner)
New Resilient Brainforest is SO totally out. It's FREE, it's awesome, it's a pdf you can read on pretty much anything, and it features a new Stig & The Puppetman comic that contains...wait for it...COLOR!

Looks like Kiss Me Like You Love Me 2nd Edition is going live on Amazon as of this Monday. We're doing KDP Select for this one as well. There's a small chance that it will get held up slightly while a super famous and awesome writer reads it for review. But there's a larger chance that such will not happen.

I applied to a gig writing about movies, directors, etc. Lamentably, I attached an older version of one of my articles as a sample--and there's a giant glaring typo in the first goddamn sentence. That is sad, because it makes me look dumb-headed when I'm trying to look S-M-R-T. Why do I keep old drafts of articles? I don't know. That's why I went through fucking everything today and tossed out everything irrelevant to now.

Trying to make a few changes on the website. Like many publicity things I engage in, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. But I learned a few things recently and want to make the needed adjustments. Problem is, I know fuckall about web design aside from some basic html and MySQL. And again, that's the sort of thing you need real money to do. *sigh* Also thinking I might start promoting FB posts when stuff goes on sale, and for my book trailers. That reminds me, KMLYLM is gonna need a book trailer too. Fie.

FYI, this seasons TV review by me are as follows:
The Following S1 on FOX
Bates Motel S1 on A&E
Game of Thrones S3 on HBO
Doctor Who S7 on BBC America
Under the Dome miniseries on CBS (starting in June)
Dexter S8 on Showtime (also coming this summer)

Some of these are guaranteed awesome, and some are wait-and-see.
wednes: (Queen of <3's)
Actually I'm not, but that's the stereotype, right?

Few things piss me off as much as people who lose a few pounds and then can't shut up about how everyone ELSE is fat because they do nothing but cram junk in their face, and how everyone ELSE needs to get off their asses and "do something about it." After he lost 100+ pounds (by hiring a personal chef) Mike Huckabee was kind enough to write a book called Quit Digging Your Grave with a Knife and Fork, which told people that there was "no excuse" for being overweight. Because if he can hire a chef and take time out of his day to jog (because he lives in a neighborhood and climate where that is possible), why can't everyone do it? When asked, Huckabee actually had no idea that many poor neighborhoods don't even have grocery stores, let alone the farmers markets he claims "everyone can afford." He's back to being fat now--fatter than he was before, in fact. He hasn't found the time to apologize to all the fat people he insulted. I wonder what his excuse is.

Now I'm seeing it from people on Facebook, and it's annoying as fuck--what with the blurred lines between people you can't block, and yet can't insult for their arrogance and ignorance. Want a cure for fat? It's called getting off your ass! Hahahahaa, how very funny, and helpful, and not assholish at all. Leading cause of malnutrition? McDonalds! Again, not very funny, or helpful, or even true. It's probably possible to let a kid have soda without sentencing them to a lifetime of obesity. Nor should every person who needs a bathroom break be "accused" of having diabetes.
By all means, keep healthy habits if you want to; and encourage others if that's your bag and they don't mind. But the random, bitchy insults because you lost a few pounds? No. Fuck right off with that shit. Or at least, maintain that weight loss for a year or two before declaring yourself to be everyone's path to enlightened thinness.

Myself, I've gone through some things that led me to tell others of my experiences in the hopes that it would help them. EMDR was helpful to me, so I tell people who have PTSD about it. Giving up caffeine was helpful for me, as was having a sleep study. So if people mention the same symptoms I had, I'll mention that too. But what I could not imagine doing, or at least hope I never EVER do, is insult people because they haven't had the options I've had, or because they made different choices than I. I would really prefer not to be a self-righteous asshole who thinks their experience should be everyone's. If I DO do that, it's my hope that someone will actually tell me.

In other news, my SEX articles are getting picked up and passed around nicely. I've only had a couple up thus far, but they are doing well. If you know anyone who enjoys sex, maybe give them a head's up.

Did I mention that my first book publisher is going out of business? They are. So if you kept meaning to get a copy of The Cat's Apprentice, but didn't--time is running oot. This means that my decision to take my horror to Crossroad Press was an awesome one for even more reasons than I realized. They are good guys over there too. Overworked a bit, but passionate about what they do.
wednes: (Kiss Me Like You Love Me)
Coming soon to wherever the hell you buy new reading materials.

Re recording of audiobook continues this week. I am reading 2 parts, though that won't be common knowledge even though I'm about it online. I'm supposed to hear the new narrator audition soon, so hopefully that will go well. The problem with casting that is that I don't know how to tell an actor how to give me what I want. I just know what sounds right, and what doesn't. As usual, the hard part is casting the Indian accents. It's too bad my favorite NP at the clinic isn't also a voice actress. Or maybe she is, I've never asked her.

My review of John Dies at the End is up. I review the movie, not the book. Do people actually read books anymore? ;-]

In worst things that could possibly happen news, my computer is on its last legs. This saddens me, since 100% of my money earning and roughly 80% of my interpersonal communication takes place via computer. Jojo broke the click bar and I don't know how to disable it. It clicks and/or stays clicked at random times even though I never touch it. No idea how I'm going to get another one, since H said it cannot possibly come out of the house budget. Why, oh why did I invest in those pajamas!?!?!?!
wednes: (Found Wednes)
I enjoy Valentines Day. So fucking sue me--as soon as you're done complaining about it, I mean. If you really find things to hate in hearts, candy, and couple-flavored fun, I might humbly suggest that you're a bitter crank? Did Cupid run over your dog or something? Giving people cards, candy, and small gifts is totally fun and nice whether it's for your partner, your sibling, or the harried single mom in the next cubicle. If you really can't bring yourself to join in the fun for some crank reason, at the very least, stop trying to ruin the good times for bitter fucking crank.

To whit, I got H a Blu-Ray copy of Flash Gordon (the movie with the kickass Queen soundtrack). It was astonishingly cheap and has awesomely heroic Alex Ross art on the cover. What? You don't like Alex Ross either? Damn, you ARE a crank.
I also got H a book about the making of Star Trek, Next Generation. It is really thick and cool and has an introduction by Ronald D Moore, who H is very fond of. He's already read me some fascinating stories from it. We're having Valentine's Day today because H works on Thursday. I'm making his favorite dinner tonight: chili con carne--which we call Chili.

H is in the kitchen right now, making a cake. Yeah, you heard right. He did this once before, and I literally talked about it for years. I even called his mom to tell her, back when she and I were friends (before the wedding). He's making the same cake again today. It's a flourless chocolate cake that requires him to melt chocolate in the double boiler, separate eggs, and whip cream by hand. I sure as hell don't do that when *I* make a cake.
See kids, that is romance. Not about money and mall jewelry necessarily, but about stepping out of your comfort zone to do things you wouldn't normally do. We're poor as shit and may never own a home or be able to retire. But we have a wonderful life, mainly because we're good and kind to each other.
And we don't have any kids. ;-] I don't know how people do that...

In other news, the marketing gig is being written off as a big bust.
Dang and Fie! But fuck that guy.
(Ha! That totally rhymes)
Kiss Me Like You Love Me is in editing and will be getting a new cover design--mainly because I don't own the rights to the other one. I won the battle to not have Mikey on the cover. Yay for that! It should be back out as an E-book in a few weeks, with the audiobook following as soon as I can schedule the recording sessions. A Stabbing for Sadie will be next.
Still looking to pick up part-time work in writing, editing, SEO, marketing, and the like. So if you know anyone...I'm WAY better at social media than say, whoever is doing that for Applebees.
wednes: (Wednes Blue)
It's been asserted that I'm a cynic who thinks it's cool to rip on stuff other people like. Yeah, because people en masse have such great fucking taste. I wanted to enjoy Cabin in the Woods. I really did. It's not my fault that it sucks, or that so many people who should know better are pacified by pablum. I'm not even going to tell you how much money A Haunted House made this weekend. But it's more money than I've made collectively in my entire life to date. By all means, watch crap if you want to. I do. I love shitty slashers and terrible SyFy CGI movies. But please, don't pretend that they're good or that I'm being mean by not liking them. Please.

It's true that I don't like a lot of things "everybody" likes. As far as I know, nobody likes everything that Everybody likes. Duh. Because "everybody" doesn't actually like it. Shit that's popular for a while often fades into the background and is completely forgotten about by people who swore they'd love it forever. BTW, that's also why there should be a waiting period for tattoos. So no, it doesn't really make sense to bust on someone for not liking something other people like. I actually find people who follow every goddamn trend no matter how stupid to be infinitely more irksome.

As I so often do, I wonder what it is that makes people say "You are wrong" instead of "I disagree." Why people have to assume that there's ignorance or stupidity afoot when there is dissent. A particular peeve of mine is when people say Oh, well if you read such-and-such by so-and-so, you'd agree with me as if I'm so malleable that the right book would instantly change my mind. Books are powerful, but not more powerful than the human mind. Not MY mind anyway.

In fucking stupid news, I'm mildly bummed that [profile] sweinberg never talks to me on Twitter. He posts twenty kajillion times a day, but totally snubs me. #drag We used to be such great pals, ten years ago on LJ.
wednes: (Wednes Poison)
I don't leave the house much since I quit Ye Olde Day-Jobbe. When I say "not much" I mean pretty much never. Before today, when I went to the doctor, I hadn't left the house in roughly one month. That's crazy. Crazy. Even thought I know it sounds bizarre and unhealthy, I don't feel particularly inspired to make any changes on that front. Then I want to wonder why that is. People suck, going out costs money, and everyone can shut up. Yeah, that's why.

Even though I'm well aware that part of good health is luck, access, and a few other things people can't control--I feel pretty good being told that I'm healthy enough to omit some medication. They told me that last time too, so I'm slowly stopping drugs for everything that isn't bi-polar disorder. I've pretty much resigned myself to those--unless H dies. Then it'll be some kind of crazy-pants free-for-all. So yeah, HAES wins again.
And for the first time ever, when I said HAES to the nurse, she nodded like she actually knew what I was talking about. I wasn't sure she did though, so I started to ask her. She motioned to her full hips and round belly and said "Yes, I'm familiar with that philosophy." Good deal, since I almost had to go to the clinic that has the terrible nurses.

Getting ready to start the new audiobooks. We're using Audible/ACX for The Finster Effect, and then my audio guy and I are doing new complete audiobooks of S4S and KMLYLM--also through Audible. I'm stoked.

I wanted to try that Wen shampoo that's supposed to be awesome. However, $30 a month for shampoo is Right Out. So I'm trying a Walgreens knock-off Wen, now that it has finally arrived. Report to follow. I'm hoping I can continue to treat my hair like complete crap, while still letting it grow out. If I want to fulfill my dream of having long, grey hair, I should probably start conditioning now. I do notice than Wen says to use 4 giant handfuls of their product on my hair, whereas the knock-off stuff says just one handful.

Oh, and in case you missed the news, I broke down and got a Twitter. @WednesFri is me. I still don't know if Twitter is case-sensitive. I dig the concept of just blathering online to celebs like I would to my friends. A responsible person might only do that kind of thing while sober--but I think we all know better than to think *I* will do that. Brian Keene retweeted me yesterday. There seem to be a lot of tweeters who make it their mission to get retweeted by famous people. If I were famous, I would never EVER retweet anyone who asked. But the mere fact that I have an opinion on this already makes me look like kind of a tool.
wednes: (Wednes Poison)
Yeah, I know I'm way behind on the whole Tweeting thing. I hate restricting myself to a single sentence, because you can't actually talk about anything. I'm following tons of celebs--the interesting ones. Except when I scroll down my Twitter feed, I just respond to them like I'm talking to my regular online buddies. Not sure if that's the best way to go. Somebody already told me I should leave the internet because I hate all things Evil Dead. Yeah, the internet is no place for people with shitty taste.
If you want to read my Tweets, they crosspost to FB and LJ, but I don't know how to make them post here. Yeah, I'm sure you're bummed.

Have you seen the greatest thing to happen in the history of horror television?
No? Then by all means, feast your peepers!

If you're in the mood for an announcement, you should know that both A Stabbing for Sadie and Kiss Me Like You Love Me are getting shiny new complete audiobook editions. They'll be distributed by the good people at Audible dot com, through my publisher at Macabre Ink Digital and Crossroad Press. So there. My widespread popularity is imminent. So get ready for a bunch of trollish commenters to tell me my work Suuuuuuuxxxxx1!1!1!! Because that's what happens when you get famous. I look forward to people judging my entire existence based on a single Tweet or post, and perhaps assuming things about my life based on a single photo.
That's gonna be awesome! Luckily, I've already worked a ton of customer service, so I won't be surprised at the shitty meanness of the public at large.

Putting together a series of articles detailing my career in phone sex. Also did a review of...well, I'll post it once it's up. Let's just say, it's been a long while since I've been able to write off sex toys as a business expense. ;-]

Hope to have S4S edits done by next week so I can seriously draft and polish Millicent Mixter's Guide. Been writing that in sections that I have not put all together. Stig and the Puppetman continues to be awesome. These days, all the comics are 4 pages long. I'll have a book in no time!
wednes: (MamaCass)
Here's what I was going to do last year:
-Leave my day-job. Let's hope I can refrain from burning it to the ground on my way out.
--Have a huge, rockin' book release party for The Finster Effect.
--Yoga minimum of 4 days a week. Strength training. For strongness.
--Will draft my new book this year. Yep, gonna draft the WHOLE THING.
--Do at least 2 interviews per month for ZZN, and at least 2-zombie articles for same.
--Will write one new excellent article for Associated Content each month.
--Bake more bread than I buy at the store.

--I did leave my day job. I did not burn it down. 2 for 2 so far.
--TFE is not on paperback yet. So no splashy party yet.
--Yes, I've been doing yoga 4 days a week.
--Have not drafted the whole book, but getting there. 50% credit
--This site crapped out. Everyone fell by the wayside, so N/A. I *am* writing for several other sites now, much more often than 2x a month.
--No, haven't done this.
--No, have not done this either. I never make sandwiches with homemade bread for some reason. Too busy buttering it, I guess.

Other stuff I did:
--Created comic characters and began a monthly comic at the behest of the proprietor of Resilent Brainforest mag. These are FREE too, so hook yourself up.
--Got a Twitter. *grumble* @WednesFri
--Appeared in two anthologies, and two magazines.
--Published The Finster Effect.
--Made my own book trailer/learned iMovie.
--Read all the Songs of Ice and Fire books, all of Lemony Snicket, and a metric fuckton of small horror--most of it was not so good.

This year will be:
--Tons of marketing, especially The Finster Effect.
--Finishing and publishing Millicent Mixter's Guide so it can make me crazy rich and stoopid famous.
--Setting myself up for mobile credit card acceptance.
--Leaving time open to do/discover/learn new things
--Continue with TV reviews, sex articles, zombie such-and-such.
--Continue with HAES and Yoga so I can continue feeling awesome.
--Helping the reading public figure out who the hell I am.
wednes: (Elephant on Trampoline)
Xmas came and went. We talked to relatives on the phone and/or online, exchanged gifts and had a friend over for breakfast-dinner. Pancakes, sausage, and a nice frittata. I don't get to make frittatas much because H doesn't like eggs.

H got me the Marauder's Map and the cool frame for it that opens up. It's whomping huge when you unfold it. I got him a bunch of books and T-shirts and miscellany. He also got me three different kinds of bacon from Zingerman's. Tonight we had the back bacon cut into hunks and tossed with whole wheat pasta--so we can pretend it was a healthy meal. Ha.

The various balms I gave away as gifts this year were well received. I'll very likely do this again. I thought I might do a bunch of Zom*balms if I ever have a book release party. No idea whether or not that's on the horizon.

Still feeling unmotivated and sad about writer things. I just don't have the marketing budget to punch through the wailing cacaphony of shitty writers out there. It pisses me off that one of my (very, VERY few) reviews says that The Finster Effect had "a lot of typos." It doesn't. As far as I can tell, it has one. And that wasn't actually a typo, it was an editing error. I don't know why I care--except that I'm tired of no one knowing who the hell I am. Plus, I have no idea how to set up a marketing plan and budget, because I have no idea what's going on with any of my work. Come to think of it, I'm only assuming my book sales are low. I haven't actually heard one way or the other.

The only thing I'm sure about is that not letting that other creep cut out the animal chapters was a good idea.

I was angry and sad all day, so I didn't get any work done. That means I'll probably be up until noon trying to work. Fie. I really hope I don't end up writing advertising for the rest of my life.
wednes: (Wednes Logo)
I keep thinking that some magical thing will happen that will hip readers to who the hell I am and what the hell I'm doing. We made a TV commercial for A Stabbing for Sadie and played it on TV. It didn't do much. I've done all the usual marketing things, except Tweeting. I don't fucking Tweet.
But I digress...

I prithee, if you don't think the trailer sucks too badly--tell a friend!
wednes: (Snakes on a Plane)
The new issue of Resilient Brainforest is out.
Download it for FREE right fucking here.

A few of you have asked me why I don't post Stig and the Puppetman on my blog or at my regular website. After all, that's what other webcomic makers do, right? Let me say this as clearly as I can:

I am NOT a comic, an illustrator,
or visual artist of any kind.

I'm a writer. I write novels and short stories. I put together articles and interviews and reviews for TV, movies, and other people's books. I lend other writers the assist. Anything else I do generally has to do with either making money to buy stuff I want, or with promoting my own work.

Posting my comic online is what an illustrator would do. I appear regularly in Resilient Brainforest for several reasons. First and foremost, someone I think is pretty cool asked me to participate. I enjoy the challenge of doing something I wouldn't normally do. Then, I got sort of attached to the characters--and the ideas started falling out of me like vomit after Jaeger night.

Finally, this is a collaborative project. Everyone involved is working at least as hard as I am. To showcase my own work to the detriment of the rest of the contributors--is what an asshole would do. And I, as you may know, am not an asshole. That's why I'm still giving away Stig and the Puppetman for FREE in Resilient Brainforest mag--and nowhere else. To get it, you have to go all the way to the site, then click on "download." Then, you wait (YMMV). Before you know it, you have a FREE pdf full of comics for you to enjoy, loathe, or print up and use to wallpaper your bathroom.

Now you know!


Dec. 10th, 2012 09:14 pm
wednes: (Zombie B&W)
I didn't post over the weekend because I wanted my next blog entry to be the unveiling of my flashy new book trailer. But I'm still not done. The rough cut only took 2 days even with the rough audio. But now it's getting super difficult and fussy. Even though this isn't costing me anything but time, I want it to be--well, not perfect but the best I can do. As I was telling [profile] uterdic, movie making is not my sphere of expertise. I do have a degree in broadcasting, but none of the stuff we use now for video production had been invented yet when I was learning.

Anyway, it's not ready to show yet. Soon...
I was hoping to finish it tonight after Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter with H. But I got hit up with some surprise work that's due tomorrow. So who knows if I'll have time to get anything done with the trailer.
It's coming along nicely though. Run time: 2 minutes.

The best thing? It features my protege rather prominently.
wednes: (Really?)
I've been so busy with work writing and NaNo writing and pretending to be a comic-er...whatever you call someone who arts comics, that I haven't been watching any new movies. I like to sit down and enjoy a movie every week. Now that I'm caught up on a few things, I thought it would be cool to watch 2 movies over the weekend.

Cabin in the Woods. Really? This is the movie you people have been blathering about since mid-summer? Let me see if I can set up my review as a cutaway: Remember that Family Guy episode where Peter says he hated The Godfather? And the family is shocked and demands that he justify it? Peter says simply, It insists upon itself. I've pondered that ever since. Peter has a point. I still love GF and GF2, but that criticism stuck with me. Last weekend, when I watched CitW, I realized that it totally insisted upon itself--and everything that came before it. In detail...including my thoughts on Who is a horror fan. )

The Muppets. On Sunday afternoon, I finally checked out that Muppet movie that came out last year. I'd had it on the DVR for a while, and grew tired of waiting for H to be in the mood to watch it. Man, it was fantastic. Fun, inspiring, incredibly moving. I'm exactly the right age to appreciate the intense nostalgia, and the sadness of Fozzie Bear having to endure the drumming of Dave Grohl. Ba-ZING. Just joshing, Grohlly ol' chap!
If I ever meet Jason Segel, I'm just going to hug him and thank him for The Muppets. Chris Cooper was delightful as Tex Richman. I wanted more cameos, but there were a bunch of cool ones anyway. The songs were good, the story was classic, and I swear, I cried through half the movie.
Everyone should watch it, but be ready to be made aware of just how old you fucking are.

If I may issue a plea to some of you's: The Finster Effect is in great need of reviews and good buzz. If you've read it, please leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads. If you'd like to review it and can't afford to buy a digital copy, hit me up privately, and we'll arrange some kind of barter for sexual favors, or cookies. ;-] If you're famous, please blurb it.

Three cheers, as Resilient Brainforest #4 is out. This is a FREE pdf comic collection from people who don't normally make comics. You will find crude drawings and photos, sexy talk, drug references, and #3 of Stig and the Puppetman, my delightful comic about mismatched serial killers who are also roommates. Every issue has a theme, and this months theme is "WANT." Know what *I* want? I want you to download it. We are looking for contributors, so ask me for details if you'd like to be a joiner. (Psst. Be a joiner. It's ridiculous that I know so many people yet haven't brought anyone in to this thing!)
wednes: (Wednes Poison)
13762 / 50000

I'm not sure how I reached this conclusion, but I sort of thought once a person wrote a whole bunch of stuff, they could kind of coast along and live off whatever the writing makes. Yeah, not so much. Surely Stephen King doesn't have to pound out SEO articles every day before he can get back to the fiction, right? Comparing myself to the Master of American Horror is a good road to high self-esteem, isn't it? Hell, comparing myself to smaller horror writers like Kim Paffenroth or Jonathan Maberry still leaves me feeling like a losery tool.
Ah well...

Today is 6 new marketing articles and a new ZZN review, followed by working on Stig and the Puppetman until it is done--hopefully by Saturday morning. I'm trying to set up a blog tour that might end up just being a few ragers in a few blogs. Since I didn't know when The Finster Effect was gonna be out in eBook form, none of the marketing is ready. Within the next few weeks, I've got to make a book trailer and start securing ads. But guess what? I'd rather relax, puff the reefer, and watch TV. Why can't I just get that Overlook Hotel job like I wanted?

In case you missed it, here is one of the many places you can guy The Finster Effect as an ebook. Paperbacks will be out in a couple of months. I'll let you know. And if you've already read it, reviews are tremendously helpful to me. Amazon and Goodreads preferred, but hey, whatever you can do. People are calling TFE my best book yet. I worried that it lacked the personal truthiness of my earlier books, but I guess not.
wednes: (Really?)
8663 / 50000

I was going to get a cleaning chick to come in and do a thorough spring clean of the place--especially since we have a little money these days. H decided that he'd rather do it himself. Since then, it's been a non stop barrage of him asking me where things go and what I want him to do with them. I'm glad he's doing the cleaning, really. But it's the NaNo, plus I work from home, and in case I didn't say so, I've got a new book coming out in a week or so.

Ha! Peep that, bitches!
The Finster Effect will be out in a week or so on ebook. No big fan fare (saving that for the paperback), no jaunty to-do. Just zombies and rats, all up in your grille. People are saying good things, so I are happy.

Also, I could use a ride to Cobblestone Farm tomorrow if any of you chumps are gonna be in the area.

September 2017



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