wednes: (Default)
There is a community here at Lj called [ profile] bookfails. It is, as you might imagine, a place to snark about sucky books. They also make some claim about being non-snarky. As if it's possible to have a community of polite, well-mannered haters. But I digest {sic}. Right now there are a bunch of jerks over there snarking about how Catcher in the Rye "fails" because Holden is a "whiner." Me being me, I am choking on my own rage at that. I explain that Holden is mentally ill and that mental illness isn't a delightful romp into funland {sic}. Someone even said "I get the point, but I feel like I'm trapped in his mind and I don't like it." Well DUH! He's also trapped, and no, it isn't pleasant. By all means, dislike the book if you want to. But if Holden isn't likable because he's a whiner--? I guess that means Helter Skelter also fails because Manson is a jerk. Ditto Silence of the Lambs--if you reduce Lecter to just being an asshole. Eating people is so...rude!

I've had to use the {sic} thing a lot lately, because there are some windbags out there who think that the dramatic license I take with The Language {sic} means I have the grammatical skill of a day-dreaming 6th grader. Note: a first person narrative of a crazy person is not going to jibe with the totality of say, Elements of Style, or the Harbrace Handbook. It just isn't. Wouldn't be truthy. Nothing is more important than truthiness, especially in horror.
My debut novel, as you readers know, has a few errors in it. Three typos, by my count--though someone once told me they saw four. I imagine that it can be tricky to tell when I'm taking a deliberate liberty and when my miserable excuse for an editor fucked up. However, asserting that there are "dozens" of errors on the "first few pages" tells me that you...well, that you don't really get it. If you think something is, for example, a malapropism, it's probably something you're supposed to appreciate rather than brandish your red pen about.

My concern with asserting that people don't get it is that a) it's pretentious as hell, b) that when people say that, it's usually a front for them being either batshit crazy or dumb as a post. And c) it calls to mind criminals and careless or malicious types who say people can't handle them because they're "too real." It can be a fine line between not getting something and just plain disliking it. That's something I'll be pondering a great deal in this new year. Listening to people say that Catcher in the Rye fails because people with mental illness can be "annoying" fills me with dread about the future of all humanity, and makes me want to clarify that difference between liking something and understanding it (which I guess is totally subjective given the number of people who think Tony Soprano did not die in the series finale).

There are grammatical or punctuation errors I make a lot; they are ingrained habits by now. I'm slowly relearning. I spelled their as "thier" for much of my life--no one ever corrected me--even in college (thanks, Dr Walther). I tend to add apostrophes to words that don't need them, plurals for example. Occasionally, people will notice this and say something like Yeah, you must be a great writer dripping with sarcasm as if a grammatical error keeps someone from telling a truthy or captivating or important story. At the same time, I have trouble taking people seriously when they post about "there family" or retort with "your an idiot." So I guess YMMV so far as all that goes.

As I've mentioned, I'll be starting a new novel soon. It will build off the zombie story I began in 1995 and turned into a very short running zombie rock opera that wasn't very good. Like much of my work, it was mostly about me working some shit out. And zombies. I don't think anything on Earth scares me as much as zombies. My mom is less scary than zombies. Sharks, grizzly bears, fundies, poisonous spiders...all pale in comparison to a legion of undead. Honest.
My life has changed a great deal since 1995, so probably only the basics of the story will remain: some characters, some plot points, and zombies. My epilogue may have to change because my horrific pregnant-with-a-zombie-baby scene was co-opted by Zack Snyder in his excellent remake of Dawn of the Dead. My old buddy Finster gave me a splendid idea for a plot point that I will be incorporating in one way or another. It's juicy stuff! He are SMRT {sic}.

Oh yeah...Stephen King's Skeleton Crew came in the mail today, along with The Girl Next Door by Jack Ketchum. The former is one of my all-time favorite anthologies (along with King's Night Shift, his Different Seasons and Skipp and Spektor's Book of the Dead zombie anthologies. Skeleton Crew is filled with short stories that stayed with me basically forever. It also includes The Mist which became one of my top FIVE Stephen King movie adaptations (Carrie, Misery, Salem's Lot, Pet Sematary) immediately upon its release. So yay for that. The Girl Next Door was recommended to me by several of you LJ peeps. I'm pretty sure it's loosely based on the true story of that girl from Indiana. *shudder* I guess it's also been made into a movie, but I want to read the book first.
wednes: (Default)
I gotta ask, am I the only one who feels like they've already seen Spiderman 3? The trailers are getting kind of long and revealy.

On a scarier note, why did no one tell me of the existence of the terrifying Bear Sharks? Even more horrifying are the Zombie Bears. It's as if Colbert (or ColBEAR as he is sometimes called on the site) is making Wiki entries with the express purpose of scaring the hell out of me.

Online quizzes define me once again:
You Are Straight

There's not much queer about you.
So let's just say you're straight... but not narrow.

I have a bad cough. It sucks.
wednes: (Default)
I know I say this about a lot of things, but this disease could certainly be the precursor to a zombie outbreak. Not to mention, it makes you think you've got bugs on you...what's funnier than that (in a sterotypically insane kinda way) ???

As the disease progresses patients develop a craving for human flesh and an intense desire to shop at the mall.

But in all seriousness...AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

And in Is it a "Pizzly or a Grolar" Bear news, it has been confirmed that that big ol' bear they shot was indeed a rare Polar Grizzly hybrid. Of course, we can't really learn a whole lot about it's beahavior, temperment or breeding patterns because they shot it. I thought polar bears were protected and you weren't supposed to hunt them? Even if you're looking to shoot a bear (and why would you be?) once you see that it's all white and such, you must know then that it isn't a grizzly, no?

I guess I just can't get behind the shooting of bears for "sport" and I don't know enough about bear populations to know if it's neccessary to cull them to keep them from starving (like deer--I'm a Michigander). The whole idea is just so sad...
But I certainly wouldn't mind seeing a new type of bear emerge.
wednes: (Default)
I was really excited when I saw this article entitled Julia Roberts overcomes errant tomato in NY stage debut. I was so sure it meant some cool-ass person threw a tomato at her. But no. Lamentably, that didn't happen. Looks like once again, I've gotta do everything around here!

New LOST tonight. Hopefully we will finally learn the whole dizzeal with Locke and Helen. And if the trailers mean anything, it appears that Locke will have a difficult time of it in the hatch.

You will all be delighted to learn that I have completed 50 hours of editing for the NaNoEdMo. Having never done this before, I figured it would be easy and that I probably would have spent 50 hours a month editing anyway. Turns out, I was kidding myself. (not unlike the time I said I'd be updating my writing journal twice a week) I totally crammed 6 hours in yesterday after doing 3 on Monday and 3 today. I'm going to do more in between now and the end of the month, but I've already turned in my pitch and everything. I should be getting my confirmation thingy pretty soon. And then, yet another meanningless goal will be accomplished!! Whooo.

Have you heard about this Beatles V Apple business? Seriously, who knew Apple Corps was still around? Not me. Besides, taking the APPLE out of itunes would be like selling all the rights of Bealtes music to...oh I don't know...Michael Jackson, let's say. I don't really understand why everything has to be litigeous. Then again, maybe I don't understand it because I don't have too much in the way of intellectual properties.

In between editing breaks, I've been reading up on Ligers, and Tigons and these bad-ass prehistoric bears called North American Short-Faced bears. We all know that long ago, much larger versions of modern animals existed. The oft discussed (around this journal, anyway) Megalodon, prehistoric gators and the so-called Wooly Mammoth are good examples of this. But I must confess I never thought of giant bears. And now, I don't really want to. So please, nobody tell Stephen Colbert about the giant, prehistoric bears. It'll just make him rail against time machines.
wednes: (Default)
Dear Discovery Channel:

I was delighted to hear that you would be showing the documentary Grizzly Man on TV because I had not seen it yet and really wanted to. Even though I can no longer use the computer and watch TV at the same time (I sucks), I made sure I was in front of my TV to watch.

However, I can't help but notice that you are taking 3 hours to show a movie that is only 1 hour and 43 minutes long. This means we're getting over 1 hour and fifteen minutes of commercials. So I ask: are you fucking kidding me?!?

Alright dammit, you win. I'll buy the damn DVD when I get some monies.

Also, Tim Treadwell (if that IS your real name--which it isn't) was a goddamn crazy man. I daresay he makes envornmentalists look like nut-jobs and two bears and a bright young woman got killed because of his ego. Of course the woman should have known what she was in for...but damn.

Did anyone else notice that they died their 13th summer there?
It's enough to give anyone a case of Triskadekophobia. I'm just saying...
wednes: (Default)
Anyone else been laughing at Anchorman this month?
I certainly have, it's hilarious.
But it leads me to research the question:
Can Bears Really Smell the Menstruation???

I know I don't talk about sodomy much in my journal. I mean, why on earth would I?
Well, I'll tell you. Marijuana laws aren't the only laws that make me steaming mad in this fair state of mine.
And keep in mind, we're a blue state!
Ever given or received a blow-job? Congratulations, You're a felon. Anyone who thinks sodomy laws don't affect them needs to take a long, hard look at these (okay, pun intended) and explain to me why a blue state, or any state for that matter has laws criminalizing things married adults do in thier own homes.

And finally, I adore Liev Schreiber, always have. But this mustache makes him look like part of the Third Reich. What Gives?

Here's a very long but interesting meme that seems to suggest I'm pretty smart. All Hail the Meme )

Hail Ants (that's for you, [ profile] derekfz


Jul. 15th, 2005 01:01 am
wednes: (Default)
I must tell you, I blame many people for my obsessive reading on Grizzlies and Grizzly Bear attacks over the last day or so. First, I blame Timothy Treadwell for being so flamboyantly bear-loving and attracting attention to both sides of the issue. Side one being that bears are cool and people should like them. Side two being that like active volcanoes, bears may hurt you if you try to hug them.

Getting freindly with other pagans has certainly acquainted me with the noble bear. Plus seeing the black bears up close with K and N on vacation was utterly amazing. If a black bear attacks you, you could very well die. If a brown bear attacks you, you will almost certainly be killed and eaten.

In fact, Brown Bears (also called Grizzlies in case you don't watch nature shows) are among a very elite group of animals that actually will attack and kill humans for food. Unlike sharks who generally let us go after one bite, and snakes who will poison us but cannot possibly eat us...when male brown bears kill people they are usually found to be starving later on. Then of course, there is the whole mama bear protecting the cubs thing. But that is pretty obvious and not really unique to bears although they are damn good at that whole thing.

Anyway, I won't post it here because I can't quite bring myself to; but if you google "Grizzly Attack" there is a most horrible picture of a guy whose leg has been pretty much devoured by a bear. Coudl be Treadwell, could be not. Probably not because it doesn't say. In case you can't tell, I'm fascinated by this.
wednes: (Default)
I'd like to preface this by saying that while I am not one of those annoying, self important PETA people, I love bears for thier wisdom, constancy, loyalty, resoucefulness...I could go on all day. And I really thought there was something wonderful and magical afoot when I saw the first pic of this bear and her mom. Even if it is not a true albino, a white "black" bear is a remarkable thing.

Remember these guys? Remember these guys?

An albino black bear is a rarity, but as the photographs displayed above attest, an infant bear of that uncommon variety is what people started spotting near the Chemawawin Cree Nation in Manitoba (about 250 miles northwest of Winnipeg) around May 2004. Visitors to the area began reporting to conservation officials that they had seen the snow-white cub roaming the First Nations community with its mother amidst a pack of black bears, sending tourists flocking to Oscar's Point at the northern tip of Lake Winnipegosis to catch a glimpse of the unusual little bruin.

Unfortunately, the cub's celebrity ultimately helped bring about a tragedy that befalls many bears. Visitors began feeding the mother and her cub, acclimatizing the bears to humans and their food, and on 11 July 2004 the mother was struck and killed by a vehicle as the pair of bruins was being fed by highway motorists. The female cub, unlikely to survive on its own, was subsequently taken to a new home at the Assiniboine Park Zoo in Winnipeg. Its light-colored fur had already begun to darken by then, indicating that the cub was not a true albino but rather, as sometimes happens with black bears, was born with a temporarily white coat that gradually darkens as the animal matures. (pic and text courtesy of

How is it possible that anyone could be old enough to drive without having heard the expression: Do Not Feed the Bears!??!?

"Hey, that bear looks different, let's use the power of human stupidity to fuck up it's life," said the masses.

I fucking hate human beings sometimes.
wednes: (Default)
Finally saw this movie tonight, as it was on cable. Damn, it was awesome.
I always mean to watch more anime, but never quite get around to it.

U of M football starts tomorrow, we may still brave the roads in an attempt to catch a matinee showing of Hero. I might just stay home and bake bread. Crowds are horrible and scary. Although, I'm sure hero kicks ass, and it would be fun to see Jeremy. sucks anymore. It used to be hilarious drama from all over the web. Now it's a bunch of crap about Lj abuse and people getting anyone gives a rat's ass. There're only a zillion places to blog out there--why get snide with people who work hard to make LJ a cool place to be?

I've been thinking about bears some more, and the differences between grizzlies and brown bears. I think I like the brown bears best, grizzlies are fucking scary.

This all sounds pretty insipid. I just needed to empty my head out before going to bed.

There is some new stuff on the JK Rowling site. As usual, the Leaky Cauldron site has the straight dope on all things Potter. It appears that Petunia Dursley is not a squib, therefore Dudley is NOT the Half Blood Prince. Neither is Hagrid, nor Harry, not Voldemort. So who the heck can it be? I suppose we know nothing of Dumbeldore's parentage, nor that of Peter Pettigrew, nor Lupin. We also know that Seamus Finnegan is half blood...oooh, that's a good possibility now that I think of it. Okay, enough of that. I'm going to bed.
wednes: (Default)
As you all should realize by now, I went on vacation last week with K, N and their baby. It helped affirm that I made the correct choice in deciding that I was too selfish and lazy to have a baby. Their baby is one of the good ones, very cute, not collicky or anything...still she seemed like an endlessly loud bundle of want and need. I don't mean to insult anyone or thier loveable kid...but my late sleeping, pot smoking, doing whatever the hell I feel like it lifestyle suits me much better.

Anywhoo...we saw bears. That was my favorite part. If you ever get near the UP (pronouced Yew-Pee...I know, its funny cause it says's a Michigan thing) you should totally go to Oswalds Bear Ranch. And give them a bunch of your money, I sure did. I also began to understand why some pagans have a totem animal. I have always really liked snakes, sharks, and cats but never felt like they were like me. Bears, OTOH, are a lot like me, and as it happens, I like them too. So I will be looking further into that in the future, and seeing what kind of spiritual knowlege exists there.

We also went on much of this trip. Where the cancerous "sun" reddened my skin and made it dry and itchy. Apparently this sort of thing happens when humans spend time outside. Who knew?

Hindsight tells me I really should have read more on this topic as it would have proved useful...but oh well. I saw some cool animals in the wild, like cranes, mice and some different kinds of ducks. I did not see any wolfs, wild bears, or bigfeet...bigfoots...bigfeets...despite the guy next door to us swearing he saw one near town. I guess labor day weekend is a big season for animals who like to remain hidden.

I discovered that I am fair with a .22 rifle, and not very good with blow darts. But the blow dart thing won't really matter until the darts contain anti-zombie bacteria or viral agents. I'm just saying...I also discovered a few good shooting locales (movie shooting, not the other kind) including a great exterior of a store and some cool foresty places with ferns for ground cover. I found some wood for a wand and a staff, and got some really long braids of sweetgrass from some random people with a sign in front of their house. It is awesome!!

Gifts were purchased for my two favorite guys (the ones who live with me) and for myself. N bought me dinner at a restaurant called the LJ diner. And the entire UP (that's the freak part of Michigan that doesn't look like a mitten) seems to have no digital cell network. They also do not have trash pickup or 911 service. Many people seem to shoot their returnable cans rather than getting their dime back. Curious. A lot of them also burn plastic, which does not smell nice.

Upon my return home, H had voraciously cleaned the apartment and bought a new lamp so we can see in the living room. I could even read out there now if I wanted to. He also bought me a loaf of Panera sourdough (my fave) and I had a cheque waiting for me. No job offers though, and no requests for interviews. So back to the old drawing board with that.

Today I went shopping so I could go back on my diet. I'll be following the Weight Watchers plan again as it seemed to work well last time, I just couldn't afford it. But I'm going to spend on it anyway because it's important to me.

I won't be reading back thru the week i was gone except in a few communites. Please do not hestitate to point me toward something cool or important I may have missed. Ryan, I saw you as a Jedi so no need to tell me about that, Nerdbag.

Oh, and my refridgerator finally has a new light as I called today and got us one.
wednes: (Default)
Well, I don't think I'm really the person to ask. I thought I'd be interacting with people, helping know, the way one might make a difference in someones life thru the magic of caring. Okay, I conceed that maybe that was a stupid idea, and i was hoping to get a whole bunch of self-validation and feel-gooditude from a single encounter.

Needless to say, that did not happen.

Firstly, the inside of the place reminds me of rehab, hospitals, and any other place where poor people hang out and everything is done in the most cost effective way possible. I'm not ripping on the place, it beats prison or a cardboard box...but its a damn depressing atmosphere. Yes, If I had a brain in my head, I would have seen that coming.

Secondly, it was hot. Very, very hot. Over 80 degrees inside. Those of you who know me in real life have probably never seen me in that temperature. I don't like it. It is not comfortable. 'But Wednes,' you might think, 'it's a shelter, and its unreasonable for you to expect it to be air conditioned'. Well fie! Because the whole rest of the place was nice and cool, and the floor I was on was Africa Hot. Sadly, this is also the floor where people who don't have beds yet are trying to sleep on hard plastic chairs. I did not envy them.

Thirdly, the midnight shift is a job which entails watching people sleep (I can now identify the Snores of Many Lands), changing sheets and folding towels. In fact, I did 7 loads of laundry, and learned how to use one of those giant-ass dryers like in Magdalen Sisters. I also read half a book and taught my supervisor how to play Pinball of the Dead on my GBA.

Last but not least the guy at Nightride (to get the low price cab fare home because the busses are not running) was totally rude to me when I gave him the shelters address for pick up. AND they made me pay upfront, which I have only been asked to do one other time, and it was when H was with me. It is not right to think a homeless person is more dishonest (and likely to stiff a cabbie) than any other person.

On my way home, I realized I had received a phone call from [ profile] madush69 offering me company and some White Castles. If you're reading this, Dan, I'll be around Thursday night so raincheck me! We're not leaving for "up north" until late Friday or early Saturday, I know not which yet. I can't wait to see the bear sanctuary . Plus it will be only my 3rd foray into the part of Michigan that does NOT look like a mitten.
wednes: (Default)
Well, I wouldn't have beleived it myself. But all signs point to the fact that I, the most prolific homebody in the modern age, am actually taking a vacation away from my home for over an entire week. I honestly can't recall the last time i was away from my home for so long...really.

I went to Florida for 6 days once in 1996, then before that I went to Woodstock '94, which took about 6 days. So I guess the longest I've been away from home before that was Even when I went away to the nut house, that was only for a week. So this should be a fun trip, staying in a cabin with electricity and a DVD player and microwave. I imagine we'll be doing without air conditioning, but it hasn't really been that hot. H is giving me some Deep Woods OFF which I'll use unless someone has a better reccomends. Normally I'd use something all natural, but I'll douse myself in poison before I let myself get eaten alive by blood sucking mosquitos. I am more susceptable than most to bug bites, and I am a whiny bitch when covered with itchy bites.

Anyway, we're going to go to a bear sanctuary. That will no doubt be the shizznizzle! So I am excited about that. I'm leaving on Friday and coming back Labor day Monday (which I imagine will be a horrible drive, luckily I'll be sleeping thru it) just in time to see The Return of Ken Jennings on Jeopardy! That reminds me, I have to send him an envelope to get my autograph!!!

Your Ultimate One Night Stand... by crispnite
LJ Username
Favorite animal
You invite over...
They bring...
You talk about...
You end up...Coloring your hair and smoking pot!
Quiz created with MemeGen!

One night stand indeed! She'll be back...

In other news, it seems that they still have not recovered The Scream. So sad, stealing great art. Tomorrow we are going to see Manchurian Candidate. Wednesday night I have a midnight shift at the shelter, hopefully that will go well and not make me horribly depressed.

What's a good thing to bring camping in case I get bored?
wednes: (Default)
What Is Your Animal Personality?

brought to you by Quizilla

There is an episode of Leave it to Beaver where Beav is supposed to write a poem for school, and he and Ward work on it. But it starts getting late and Beav has to go to bed, so Ward writes the poem for him (after specifically telling June he wouldn't do that). So Beaver copies the poem and hands it in at school. Next thing you know, Beaver is supposed to get an award for a poem actually written by Ward. This presents a moral connundrum for Ward, who can't let Beaver take credit for something he didn't do. More difficult still is the fact that Beaver thinks he wrote the poem, because he helped and copied it himself. What is Ward to do?

Well, they wrap it up in 30 minutes with writing that would put most family show writers to shame. And its all very moral and filled with good old fashioned American values.

My point?

Well, Beavers poem was about Bears, so I thought of that just now.

What do you want from me?
It's after 4 in the morning!

September 2017



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