I have also decided it's time for bed already. I'm actually sleepy and tomorrow I have to venture out under the scorching sun to get a lump looked at. (When I caught that stupid cold several weeks back, the lymph nodes under my ears came up and one has come and gone a bit since then, but now seems to be most definitely up and not receding, so my GP wants to check it's all okay.)
And I'd like it to go away because it's kinda sore, possibly because I keep poking it to see if it's any smaller yet. OTOH, it does make my face look slightly less long and narrow, so maybe I should keep it.
'I don't think I'd go as far as calling it a parody. I mean, we're definitely writing some jokes in there, and there are definitely funny bits, but that mostly comes from us just having a good time thinking about how much we loved (and love) those comics. I mean, you can't see Cable in "X-Cutioner's Song" growling about how he's going to go face Stryfe "Man to man and -- quite literally -- face to face!" without thinking it's kind of hilarious, right? That's the attitude we're going for.' - Chris Sims
( Read more... )
Also, internetting from the back room seems to be working out, I'm now overlooking the aforementioned pea patch.
I was at a loss when I started my day, but once I put the radio on and just started doing bits and pieces the angst wore off. Contemplating choices is a burden. Shifting from trying to work out your *best* option to simply finding a *better* option seems to be the key.
As the lovely Muse once asked:
Must things be in the superlative to count?
Also cursing my neighbours, as Sunday is my day for chilling out with 3PBS. (First blues, then African, then World which lately seems to mostly involve Swedes and people from the African diaspora getting together and doing interesting things.) Alas, it's also the neighbours day for chilling out to middle-of-the-road Classic Rock.
Maybe I should invest in powerful speakers and see if I can't convert them.
One difference between DC and Marvel is, when DC heroes meet, they usually shake hands and beat up the bad guys, like in the classic "Crisis on Earth-One" when the Justice Society meets the Justice League, and they immediately are smiling and working and each other, comparing notes and power rings or whatever. When two Marvel characters meet, their first instinct is to fight each other, an instinct that goes back to the Timely days when the Human Torch and Sub-Mariner first met---and immediately fought--each other. Usually after that, each team-up is preceded by a misunderstanding and a fight between the two super-characters or super-teams.
(One quibble I had with Kurt Busiek's JLA/AVENGERS project is that the JLA should have tried to smilingly make friends with the Avengers, and the Avengers should have been suspicious of these srangers and tried to pick a fight...)
So Leading Comics #6, "The Treasure that Time Forgot", is an eye-opener for early DC teams. In which early pairs of heroes, or teams-within-teams, of the Seven Soldiers of Victory got tricked into fighting, almost killing each other.
18 and 2/3 pages out of 56. I think. I had to mix'n'match this one, and there's a lot I had to leave out.
( Read more... )
"The Courtyard was my attempt to write a story within the mythology of H.P. Lovecraft that did not try to regurgitate Lovecraft's style. It was an attempt to write a Lovecraftian story that was set in what was then the near future rather than in a Lovecraftian Era. As such, I thought it was a very successful story and it has always been a little favorite of mine in terms of my horror output."
--Alan Moore, AvatarPress.com
16 pages of 48 (Two issues; 8 each of 24). Trigger warning for gore.
( 'A mental floor gives way beneath me' )
(I work in the business office of a specialized eye care clinic. We often get calls from people who are confused by their statements, since we switched to a new system halfway through the year. )
Me: “[Business], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”
Woman: “Yes, I’m calling about the bill I received. I already paid this, and you fools are still charging me!”
Me: “Let me take a look at your account. Can I have your name, please?”
(She gives me the name of the account, and I pull it up in my system.)
Me: “It looks like the bill is due to an office visit that was done in November; the insurance company did not cover the whole cost.”
Woman: “See, that’s the thing, you idiot. I wasn’t supposed to have that visit. I just needed a referral, and the stupid doctor forced me to come in. I don’t think I should have to pay.”
Me: “Well, it does look like a full exam was done, and so you would need to pay for services that you received.”
Woman: “Are you a f****** r****d? I just said that I shouldn’t have to pay for it because I didn’t want to come in! Jesus, I can’t believe how stupid you people are! The damn doctor made me come in to get my damn referral, and I shouldn’t have to pay because he just wants to make more money off him. Reverse the charges right now!”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but from what I’m able to see, it does look like services were performed, and not just a referral. I’ll need to check with my supervisor and the doctor to see what we can do.”
(I explain the situation to my supervisor, and we both go talk to the doctor. I tell him what’s going on, and give him the name. He sighs.)
Doctor: “Obviously she thinks I don’t remember the visit, but I do. She skipped four visits in a row, so I didn’t know she needed a referral until she finally came back in and I checked her out. Tell her to send a check in and pay us, for God’s sake.”
Me: *I call the woman back, to tell her the outcome* “So, I did speak to the doctor and my supervisor, and that visit will need to be paid for, as the doctor was not able to refer you until he could examine your eyes.”
Woman: “Well, I suppose I’ll arrange for some money to be sent in. But I’m going to tell my insurance company about you and your ways!”
Not In Good Insurance Company
(I work at a small movie theater, selling tickets. We are on a slow day one month before the first “Iron Man” movie’s theatrical release. A tired looking man in his 50s shows up at the register.)
Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you today?”
Man: *Looking right thru me* “Iron Man!”
Me: “Oh, you want to see the upcoming Iron Man movie? I am sorry but this title will only be released next mo…”
Man: “Iron Man!”
Me: “I am sorry, sir, but you may be too early to see Iron Man. This movie is not released in France yet. It isn’t even scheduled for now. The movies planned today are…”
Man: “WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG? I WANT TO SEE IRON MAN!”
(At this point, I don’t know if I am upset or amused by this ridiculous situation.)
Me: “Again, sorry, sir. This title will not be screened before next month.”
Man: “I want to see Iron Man!”
Me: “Yes, you stated that clearly.”
(For half a minute, we stare at each other awkwardly.)
Man: “How many for Iron Man?”
Me: *exasperated* “I CANNOT sell you tickets for a show that IS NOT scheduled yet.”
(My manager, working in a room nearby, must have heard me raise my voice. He stormed out of his office and takes me away from the register.)
Manager: *quietly to me* “You must inform and serve the customer with respect. Go on break. I take care of him”
Manager: *To the customer* “Sorry about that. How can I help you?”
Man: “Iron Man!”
(I decided to take my “break” in the room nearby. I heard my manager struggling to explain over and over again that Iron Man was not screened today. The customer finally left and my confused manager apologized to me.)
"Earth in the future has solved various major problems we face. One of them is the Environment. Between now and then, humanity got serious, and decided having a sustainable planet to live on was probably a good thing. As such, rather than the present where we'll probably shrug and say we care about the environment while carrying on eating crisps (or chips) out of plastic bags for the convenience, in this future they'll be utterly horrified at the waste in the same way we're horrified at various barbaric acts from our past. This is a fundamental thing that people believe, and those who don't are pretty much viewed in the same way we view Nazis." -- Kieron Gillen
( Read more... )
(I work in an Australian department store which has a food hall. An elderly customer approaches our bakery which sells fresh cakes and pies.)
Customer: “Hello, dearie, I’d like a steak and kidney pie.”
Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t sell steak and kidney pies, but we do have a selection of others.”
(I proceed to read the selection to the customer.)
Customer: “I’ll have the beef and mushroom pie, then.”
Me: “Sure thing.”
Customer: “Can you pack it well? I want to take it on the plane.”
Me: “The plane?”
Customer: “Yes, I’m flying back to London today.”
Me: “You want to take a fresh pie with meat products in it on an international flight back to England?”
Customer: “Yes, of course.”
Me: “You can’t take food that isn’t sealed out of the country and into another one.”
Customer: “Of course I can. Just sell me the pie”
(I sold the customer the pie and I still wonder how far she made it before customs stopped her.)
It was narrated by that " playboy industrialist " of the same name and heard by the Watcher-stand-in of 2005's series of What If stories, a talented hacker who'd set up his computer to make multiversal TCP/IP connections.
(Presumably, he's either interning for AIM or been interned by ARMOR since.)
The latter'd found the former's work by looking to see if Daredevil was on Earth-717 as he was on 616.
He found that the Devil of Hell's Kitchen apparently wasn't- instead, the Devil Who Dares had definitely been.
( He hadn't been Matt Murdock. )
(I work for an online gourmet food shop. They sell all kinds of neat things, ranging from gourmet sea salts to flavored sugar and spice blends. I was working the phones when I got this beauty of a call.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Do your natural sea salts have any sodium in them? I need sodium-free natural sea salts.”
(Now I know they make fake ‘sea salt’ in labs for people who shouldn’t have too much salt, but these are NATURAL sea salts. CLEARLY LABELED.)
Me: “I’m afraid they do, ma’am.”
Customer: “Every last one of them? I need to find natural sea salt that doesn’t have any sodium in them!”
Me: “I’m… very sorry, ma’am. All of our NATURAL sea salts do have sodium in them.”
Customer: “Ain’t that some bull****. F*** this place.” *click*
(I am ordering fries and a drink. I am in front of an older lady, who also orders fries in her meal.)
Cashier: “Hi, what can I get you?
Me: “Hi, I’ll have a medium fry and a mocha frappe.”
(I finish my order, for here, and step aside to wait for my order to be completed.)
Customer: “Hi, I’ll have a quarter pounder meal. Make it large, please.”
(She also finishes her order and steps aside next to me to wait for her food. There are three trays waiting to be filled when an employee places a medium fry on my tray. After a few moments the lady takes a couple fries from my tray, not realizing whose order they are from. Trying not to be rude, I don’t step in right away. An employee then places a quarter pounder and large fries on her tray. The lady suddenly realizes her mistake.)
Customer: “Oh, my, is this yours?”
Me: “Um, yeah I think so.”
Customer: “We’ll, why didn’t you say something?! Here, take my large fries since I just ate out of yours. I am so sorry!”
(She switches our fries before I can even respond.)
Me: “Oh, thank you.”
Customer: “No, I’m the one who ate your fries!”
He ain't never been called Wendy before. But surely people compliment his beard.
Edwin Wheeler kept getting texts from a wrong number, so he answered them politely with proof that he was not some lady named Wendy.
Then, he took screenshots and put the pictures on Imgur like a true gentleman.
"Maybe I should just accept my life as the bearded Wendy," he said.
We know the truth though. She kept 'accidentally' texting him just so she could keep getting pics of that sweet, sweet beard.
We would have done the same.
Submitted by: (via EWW3)
(The pizza shop where I work has several in-store specials, including $11.99 for a large combination. Unless a coupon or special says otherwise, it’s $2 to upgrade to an extra-large pizza. A regular customer comes in after placing an order over the phone. He is always a little curt and slightly drunk, but I’ve never had a problem with him before.)
Me: “Okay, you had an extra-large combination pizza. Anything else today?”
Me: “That comes to $13.99.”
Customer: “They said it was $11.99.”
Me: “The special is $11.99 for a large, and $2 for an extra-large.”
Customer: “But he said $11.99 on the phone! I spoke to [New Coworker], and he said $11.99!”
Me: “It’s possible he was confused. It’s $11.99 for a large combo, and $2 to upgrade to extra-large.”
Customer: “Look, I asked him twice. I wrote it down!”
Me: “I’m sorry sir, but it’s always $2 more for an extra-large. It’s on the poster in the window. If [New Coworker] said $11.99 for an extra-large, he was mistaken.”
Customer: “I wrote it down!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but—”
Customer: “Do you want me to leave the pizza here? I’m walking away.”
(I turn to my manager, who’s working nearby.)
Me: “Uh, what should I…?”
Manager: *quietly* “Just give it to him. It’s okay.”
Me: *to the customer* “Okay sir, $11.99. Sorry about the confusion.”
(The customer says nothing and hands me his credit card. The machine processes and asks to print a receipt.)
Me: “Thank you, sir. Would you like your receipt today?”
Customer: *annoyed* “No.”
(I finish the transaction and close the register.)
Me: “Okay, have a good day, sir!”
Customer: “Can I get a receipt?”
And a boy becomes a man.
Notorious B.I.E.B back yaw pic.twitter.com/cttrfGSVfE— DJ ALMA (@SydneyA) October 1, 2015
The Biebs joined Rae Sremmurd on stage in New Zealand and got #turnt up. The singer is a big boy now. He's been trying to tell us all this for a while now, but no one seems to be listening.
As a bottle of Hennessy comes his way, the singer takes a big gulp like a big boy does.
Just look at that face. You are looking at a man.
Submitted by: (via @SydneyA)
(I’m at the register when an older gentleman wearing an USMC cap walks briskly into the store. He asks if we still have our jumbo-sized eggs. I tell him yes and point him in the direction. The conversation happens while I’m cashing him out.)
Customer: “Do you have children?”
Me: “No, I do not.”
Customer: “Are you married?”
Customer: “Good. When you decide to have children, take it slow. Make sure you do it right.”
Me: “Okay… I will…?”
Customer: “What does your husband do?”
Me: “He works here in the store.”
Customer: “Oh, good. In the meantime, make sure he’s baptized and votes Republican. Have a good day now.”
Me: “You, too…” *to myself after customer walks out the door* “Did that really just happen?”